Bron Webster introduces the emotion ‘fear’ and how she has identified the emotion, the triggers and the impact on her behaviours.
Fear … what do I need to learn about that situation that will help me let go of the fear?
Listen to find a simple way of looking at your feelings and making forward progress.
Copyright: Bron Webster 2020
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/multiplesuccessCommunity
Podcasts and Website: https://multiplesuccess.co.uk/podcasts.html
TRANSCRIPT:
Hi, welcome. And today we're moving into a new series. We're moving into the MS feelings and Ms emotions series. But we've just finished the MS lifestyle changes which really, really focused on diets. So so far in June, we've explored some of the main ms diets and lifestyles and in particular, we looked at the world protocol. So we had the fantastic Terry walls join us for one episode. We've also looked at the best bet diet. And that was with Jerry and Kelly who joined us from Canada. Then we've had the overcoming m s or m s lifestyle with Jeff Alex before finally some key life messages from Ms better and Judy gray. And so I think it's fair to say that diet plays a really important part in our ms lives. It provides nutrients and cuts out if we decide to make changes cut out some of the things that are purported to have an impact on our disease. But secondly, and I think more importantly, changing diets adopting different ways of eating gives us a sense of control. And that's something that can be so lacking when we live with multiple sclerosis. So, coming up in this next series feelings, we've got episodes with some great guests that are covering a lot, and why we'll be talking about lost. It's really important, it's all going to become clear. I've also got guests on acceptance and resilience. And I've got a great guest talking all about mindset, and some things and steps that you can just take that can really help you get your mindset in the right place.
Did you know that there is an associated Facebook group for people with MS. It's a positive group and it encourages members to look on the positive side of life. The group is called Multiple Sclerosis UK help multiple success community. Why don't you look it up on Facebook? Answer the joining questions and take a positive step in your life.
So coming up in this next series, feelings, episodes covering loss, acceptance and resilience and mindset. But today, I want to talk about a scary emotion, fear. Fear of what you might ask. And I'm thinking specifically in relation to multiple sclerosis. So is it fear of coming out? Is it fear of coming out to other people about your diagnosis? What about fear of the unknown? We don't know what's going to happen. from day to day, week to week, month to month with Ms. So we're living constantly with fear of fear now. What about fear of being isolated? fear of losing friends, fear of people not understanding. fear of being alone. Can I get married? Can I find somebody to date? When I live with multiple sclerosis? What about looking to the future and fear of not working? fear of not fulfilling your expectations, fear of losing your dreams and fear of the reality. Fear of what is going to happen and fear is really really not easy. It's playing itself out in our lives every single day.
And I want to share with you just a small example of one of my fears. And my typical behavior. I realized that I had been invisible. I've done some of my instinctive, let's withdraw. And it's because I know that I'm feeling scared about something. But that's some things of my own creation. This was when I was heading up to the launch for this podcast back in April. And I've tried I've been trying to work out what it is, and why I felt scared. And it's because I've set myself a deadline to do something And it's something that is also in the public eye. So obviously, how big in the public eye I really didn't know. And I guess it's only going to be as big as I can make it is not necessarily going to be something that's worldwide. It's not going to be massive. But it's something that's happening. And I set myself a deadline. And deadlines are something that I really don't do anymore. I just don't work to deadlines. And I've worked out that if I do is because I start to feel really pressurized. And so I've stopped myself, setting deadlines. And I've stopped myself setting goals. And those are the first elements that I acknowledge. The second thing that was scaring me is that I've had to acquire so many new skills. I've had to Make new contacts with new people. And it's just pushed me out of my comfort zone. So I've got these two different areas. It's pushing me out because it's working to a deadline, and I don't work to deadlines. It's pushing me outside my comfort zone because I'm having to learn all these new things. And I'm having to make all these new contacts. And I think Thirdly, it's pushing me outside my comfort zone, because it's potentially really public as in potentially globally public, and that's what's making me feel scared.
So I just taken a few minutes for myself, and I searched and searched and reminded myself of the cognitive behavioral therapy that I had when I had my cancer treat But still couldn't get myself through the feelings that I had. So I think it's fair to say I've had a diagnosis of MS diagnosis of cancer. And then on the MS I've had the second message, but message about being secondary progressive Ms. So that is actually a big, impactful diagnosis to get the secondary progressive label applied. So that's three set of diagnosis. And I've been struggling, but back in 2014, when I was seeing somebody to help me, I came up with the words with the help of the counselor, the CBT counselor, I can get through it. Whatever comes I can find a way to deal with it because I got To get through cancer, I got to get through whatever life health throws at me. It's not something that's totally outside of my control. And just because now the things that I'm doing, I brought these fears on myself, doesn't make it any different. I can get through this. I can get through these fears. By working out how to do it, what to do next, what skills I need to learn what information I need, what sort of mindset I need to build. And by coming here and talking about it, on some kind of medium that's out in the out in the wide world. I've now completed that circle of fear. Firstly, I've noticed the feeling and identified and I've given it a label and he tells Fear. Secondly, I've worked out my behaviors as a result of that feeling. And that's something that takes a little bit of working out, sitting back, letting your thoughts clear, and really looking at what's been going on in your life.
Thirdly,, I've worked out exactly what has triggered these feelings.
And then finally, I've admitted to other people. In this case, I'm admitting it to you guys that are listening. I think my husband is fully aware of what I live with every day. And I do tell him when I've got big challenges coming up, but to admit it publicly for me has completed that circle of fear.
So to take away - notice the feeling worked out which behaviors are being impacted as a result. Work out and be honest. What is triggering those feelings? And then admit it to somebody. And then hopefully you can take the action and reduce those feelings and reduce le anxiety. Thanks for listening to today's podcast. I've got to ask, did you know that I run a Facebook community? Get yourself over to multiple sclerosis UK help dash multiple success community UK. Click to join answer the questions and we'll see you on the other side. Thanks so much for listening to today's ms show. Please subscribe rate and review this podcast. If you'd like to get more involved with the show. Why not join our Facebook community? Just search Facebook for the MS show up soon for another dose of MS information and inspiration. You've been listening to the MS show podcast.
