026 | What You Didn't Know About Bottle Feeding Your Newborn

 Throughout her pregnancy and postpartum, Maria noticed a huge lack of postpartum care, especially for those with less access to support and resources. So, she started In Kind Boxes. Listen in to hear her story.

What is In Kind Boxes?

In Kind Boxes is a non-profit organization aiming to reduce the gaps and disparities in postpartum care through its curated, high-quality postpartum and baby care boxes.

How can I order a box?

Boxes are available online at their website inkindboxes.org. You have the option to submit a family to have a box donated to them or purchase. All boxes carry the same quality of goods because no family should be excluded from getting quality products to help in the postpartum journey.

How can I support In Kind Boxes?

You can support In Kind Boxes by donating on their website or social media platforms. Every dollar matters, even just the price of a cup of coffee, goes a long way in suppor the women and products that make In Kind Boxes an essential to postpartum care.

Topics Covered:

The story behind In Kind Boxes (1:33)
How to access and support (6:39)
What's in the box? (9:04)
Postpartum care in the US (13:34)
Packed by volunteers (22:21)
Making it happen (25:35)

Resources:

Check out In Kind Boxes website and on instagram to purchase, nominate or donate.

 Lauren A. Tetenbaum is an advocate and therapist certified in perinatal mental health who specializes in life transitions affecting millennial and young women.

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With an approach grounded in empathy and emotional intelligence, Lauren counsels clients on romantic relationships, career choices, pregnancy and parenting, anxiety, and family dynamics. She offers cognitive behavioral and feminist-based psychotherapy to individuals and couples.

 

A mother of two with over a decade of experience in the legal industry, Lauren also facilitates support groups for working, new, and aspiring parents and provides consulting and mental health coaching to support parents in corporate settings. She is passionate about building connections and giving back to her community.

What is the Invisible Load?

The invisible load is the behind the scenes work that goes into being a parent. It can be logistical, physical, emotional or mental. It's the moms usually that are doing this kind of work in the household.

Since they are conditioned from an early age to be the caretakers in a family dynamic, it can be hard to let go of control.

Sometimes we think it is easier to do it yourself, but negative feelings can arise from this.

The damage of cultural expectations

Mom as the primary parent is still very much expected in today's society. Dad's are usually only does the bare minimum. This can lead to an increase in anxiety, burnout, resentment and can sometimes trigger unwanted anger toward both your partner and your children.

Even full time working moms are expected to do all the things. Even when your partner reaches out to help, relinquishing control is easier said than done because of how society has influenced the role of mothers to be.

“Change happens when we are the squeaky wheel, as hard as it may be.”

Getting the conversation started

The best way forward in changing this is to start small. Being self aware of your role and your responsibilities is the first step. Communicating with your partner how you are feeling and why brings awareness to them as to how they can possibly approach things differently and offer you support.

Making a list and having open conversations is a great place to start. And remembering that you are not relinquishing control but rather sharing the load, working as a team, is a great way to put things in perspective for your family to support each other in the ever fluctuating world of parenting.

Topics covered

The invisible load (2:37)

Real life examples (7:51)

Anxiety (13:22)

The route not chosen (24:03)

The idea of maintaining boundaries (28:52)

Strategies to get the conversation started (32:20)

Additional resources

• Book: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
• Feeling Resentment Towards Your Partner After Birth? Here’s Why
• Maternal Gatekeeping and The Dark Side of “Doing It All”
• New Baby? Six Tips for Setting Boundaries with Family
• Done with Being the Default: How Moms Can Advocate for Change & Improve their Mental Health

038 | Nicole Alfred, C-Section Recovery Coach

Nicole Alfred is a cesarean recovery coach, registered massage therapist, and mother of two. She has given birth two times by C-section: one emergent and traumatic, the other empowered and planned. Her different experiences opened her eyes to the abject lack of support mothers receive post-operatively. Nicole sees a need for much more emotional and physical attention.

Nicole believes there are important steps that new mothers need to take beginning immediately after surgery and through the first 12 weeks postpartum for optimizing their recovery. These steps include restoring normal function with every day movements, wound & scar healing, core muscle system recovery, and connecting with the incision scar to facilitate emotional processing and healing.

How c-section recovery looks today

C-sections are the 2nd most popular surgery done daily. With healthcare based in a man's world, women's care is not prioritized, or often understood, as to what we need after having a baby, whether natural or by c-section.

Being responsible for a child in recovery is a lot different from recovering from any other surgery or hospital stay. A lot of mother's fall into survival mode and can never turn that switch off. Lack of knowledge and support, from either our doctors or others, effects women's' recovery greatly when we don't know what to focus on or have the ability to do so.

What we should know in the first 2 weeks

C-section recovery requires a lot of rest. Practicing basic functional movements and listening to your body is essential in the first 2 weeks of recovery. Having support in those movements can help make the process less frustrating in teaching your muscles how to turn back on.

As time move forward in your recovery, resting as often as possible between movements is important. Doing anything that requires intense movement, like trips to the store or walking long distances, can drastically effect your recovery in a negative way.

“C-section recovery can be easy and feel empowering.”

Ways to Support Your Body

Mothers are so good at not prioritizing themselves. By taking care of our bodies and our minds in recovery, we are creating a better environment for our children to learn and understand from.

There is a sequential order of things that need to be worked on when it comes to c-section recovery. Focusing on key areas like posture, breathing exercises, pelvic floor support, core system exercises, and scar massage are some of the ways you can support yourself.  

Topics covered

What got Nicole started as a c-section recovery coach (1:41)

3 misconceptions around cesarian recovery (8:19)

What you should and should not do in the first 2 weeks (12:37)

Looking at the layers (19:26)

We should prioritize recovery (24:10)

Getting back to the basics (30:47)

Healing the c-section shelf (33:40)

Ignoring yourself (44:02)

Join author and podcaster Anna Cusack as she shares her views on why the traditional structure of our society makes parenting - and mothering - that much more challenging. Layer on a global pandemic, and it's no wonder most mothers are feeling stress and burnout.

037 | Anna Cusack, Postpartum Doula & Author

Anna Cusack is a postpartum doula and motherhood support mentor, guiding new and experienced parents through pregnancy, the fourth trimester and beyond.

Anna combines her knowledge in areas such as traditional postpartum care, breastfeeding support, motherhood studies and exercise physiology to help mothers and parents feel heard, seen and supported through the highs, lows and sticking points of their child-raising journeys.

How society is constantly at war with mothers

There is no realistic training for parents to break away from traditional parenting. There is a biological factor that is set in stone from previous generations. The gender nature gets locked in, making it difficult to step away from.

So many factors come into play for mothers, including workload, both inside and outside the home, lack of time, sleep and mental capacity. A mothers workload doubles with each child and usually is unsupported throughout her day to day if the partner is working outside the home.

As much as this can feel isolating and personal, it is a social norm and everyone is effected by it.

Why do I feel like a bad mom?

Harder things, higher intensity. Mothers often experience an increase in sleep deprivation, which can result in irrational or irritable behavior. When this happens, we lash out at the ones we feel comfortable with, meaning our partners and our children.

Having these feelings or anger and resentment and reflecting on your actions can cause incredible guilt for a mother, resulting in feeling inadequate and believing that you are an unfit or unworthy parent.

What do you do when you feel like a bad mother?

Create opportunities to discuss how both you and your partner can support each other. A space where you can both talk and find a way to help alleviate these feelings without disruptions is important. Making a list of what you each do and talk about what you can each do to give each other support that they need is a great way to get started.

Communicate how these things are making you feel, even if they are small, silly things, and specify how you would like them to help to reduce overwhelm, anger and guilt.

Topics covered

Socialized and gendered nature of modern society (2:17)

24 minutes with dad (13:17)

How to overcome the outdated way of thinking (19:09)

Good, calm, peaceful mom (26:24)

Drop guilt and remove overwhelm (30:56)

An amplification of early motherhood (41:50)

Final question (45:05)

Resources

You can download Anna's free "8 Steps to Your Peaceful Postpartum" eguide and view her postpartum support, parent mentoring and special events here: www.annacusack.com.au

Find her book "Mama, You're Not Broken: Unmasking the Unspoken Emotions of Modern Motherhood" on Amazon, Kindle and here: www.annacusack.com.au/book

You can also catch her on the "Anna Asks" podcast via your preferred podcast app, and connect on socials @annacusackpostpartum on Instagram and www.facebook.com/annacusackpostpartum
www.anchor.fm/annaasks/

Can you please also reference this in the show notes. I couldn’t recall the name of Dr Petra Bueskens and her work when discussing the example of Revolving Mothers in the episode:
Dr Petra Bueskens.
Modern Motherhood
and Women’s Dual Identity
es: Rewriting the Sexual Contract
Abingdon, Oxon; New York: Routledge, 2018

036 | Gigi Vera Vincent, Postpartum Doula

Gigi Vera Vincent is a postpartum doula, newborn care specialist, lactation educator, mother to three toddlers, including twins, and a wife to my high school sweetheart.

She empowers families, so once baby arrives, they can focus on resting and bonding instead of researching or stressing. She's here to streamline the newborn learning curve and guide birth parents, partners, and other family members. There isn’t ONE way to have and raise a little human. Gigi is here to assist parents as they find THEIR way so that they can thrive in the fourth trimester and beyond.

What is the Dobbs Decision?

Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization, is a landmark decision of the U.S. Supreme Court in which the court held that the Constitution of the United States does not grant a right to abortion. This 2022 decision overturned the 1973 ruling of Roe v. Wade, which granted the right to have an abortion.

The ruling has the potential to undermine so many other cases that protect our right to privacy. Cases pertaining to gay rights, interracial marriage, access to birth control, LGBTQ rights etc. all have the potential to be threatened.

The Facts about Abortion

1/4 women will have an abortion by 45 years old. The majority are between the ages of 20-29, but there is a substantial percentage that are older, most are married and either already have one or multiple children.

92% are happening in the 1st trimester. The 7% happening later, are usually due to medical issue, spontaneous abortion, risk to baby or mother or a nonviable pregnancy, meaning the chance of the pregnancy resulting in a healthy, living baby is not possible. Ectopic pregnancies and failed intrauterine pregnancies are nonviable.

Who does the Dobbs Decision effect?

A lot of people feel that this will only really target those who want an abortion. But as new laws and restrictions on abortion are beginning to arise state-by-state, we are quickly discovering that is far from the truth.

There have already been cases where women have been incarcerated for having a miscarriage. Some states are trying to limit access to birth control. Browsing history, through apps and social media, have shared data with authorities from users who have search history or social posts pertaining to seeking abortion.

This is just the beginning, as we still don't know how this will effect medical emergencies due to miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, or couples seeking fertility treatments like IVF.

"The goal is not to protect life. The goal is to maintain control."

Tips to Prepare & Support

Stocking up on birth control and getting access to abortion pills, if your state allows, is a great way to be prepared for the worst. If your state is restricted, look into other state access. Browsing privacy is important, so researching how you can use the internet safely, as well as any apps pertaining to cycle tracking is another way to make sure your data is safe.

Learn from other communities and organizations that give information on how to respond to discrimination is essential. Look at the corporations and businesses where you spend your money. Do these places have the same values as you? Do they support causes you support? Where we choose to spend your money really has a big impact.

We are fighting each other for our own decisions and our own bodies. We should be fighting for policies that support our decisions, the freedom to live the life that we want.

Topics covered

Who is actually having abortions? (1:46)
What are your options with limited care states? (5:46)
Why data is so important in some states (8:59)
Access to standardized care that women actually need (14:07)
Support after an abortion (20:07)
The Dobbs decision (23:45)
Expanding your knowledge (29:16)
It's important to be prepared (35:00)
Battle between people who are choosing to break the mold (41:26)

Resources

1. Living in a Post-Roe World: What You Can Do
2. Study: 84% of Maternal Deaths are Preventable

Birth control access resources:

1. Planned Parenthood: Birth control prescribed over the phone
2. Nurx: Birth control online with free shipping

Abortion resources:

1. HeyJane: FDA-Approved Abortion Pills Shipped Discreetly
2. FAQ: At-Home Abortion Care

Having a baby changes everything, especially your relationship with your partner. Here's how to save your relationship - and your sanity - once a little one is involved. Plus, Chelsea breaks down her top tips for clear, effective communication that can change everything.

 

Topics Covered:

A roadtrip is like motherhood (2:00)
The massive BUT in your new parent relationship (3:43)
What are the signs of resentment towards your partner (9:35)
Recommit to growing together (15:10)
Ways to stay connected to your partner (16:44)
This isn't gonna work, tips for early postpartum days (22:13)
How tender our relationships are after having a baby (26:01)
Words of encouragement for those in the trenches (27:44)
Final Question (34:05)

A postpartum doula shares the inside scoop on the difference between a birth and postpartum doula, why you should hire one, how they can help support new mothers, and more. It's a must-listen for anyone considering hiring a doula after birth.

034 | Dana Frutos

Dana is a mom and a postpartum doula. She has a background in early childhood education and has worked in professional childcare for over a decade. she has a 3-year-old son who I love to pieces.

Dana has chosen to leave the world of ECE and pursue a career as a postpartum doula because she wants to support, educate, and empower mothers when they come home with their baby. She wants to be there for families when they are tired and often overwhelmed. She wants to nurture mama while she nurtures her new baby. 

What exactly does a postpartum doula do?

a postpartum doula is someone who supports the mom to support her new family. Thier goal is to be intuitive and provide support that the mom needs, whether that is cooking dinner, doing laundry, taking care of the baby while mom takes a nap, an ear to listen and talk with; postpartum doula's are the village every struggling mama needs in postpartum recovery.

Are postpartum doulas worth it?

Everyone needs different levels of support during postpartum. Whether that level is big or small, a postpartum doula is there to support you,  no matter the task. No mama is the same so a doula's job is to get to know you and your needs without overstepping. If that is 3 weeks or 7 months, a postpartum doula will be there to lend a hand in your recovery.

What's the difference between a birth and postpartum doula?

A birth doula is someone who helps you throughout the pregnancy and birth of your baby. They work with the doctors to advocate for you as you are preparing for your new little one to arrive. A postpartum doula is someone who supports you after the baby has arrived.

How to find a postpartum doula

A quick Google search for "postpartum doula + city you live in" is a good start. People may not realize there are multiple resources in or near their hometown. You can also check out Doula Match to browse the doulas listed on that website.

Topics Covered:

What is a postpartum doula? (1:05)

Questions for a postpartum doula (3:26)

Helping moms open up to support (8:17)

Finding a postpartum doula (9:54)

Cost of a doula and how long they can help (11:32)

If you can't afford a doula... (14:24)

Non-judgemental (21:01)

Final question (24:23)

Additional resources:
Chicago Family Doulas: 

My IG is: @mamasareatribe

More resources you might enjoy:
How to Be a Good Support Person During Birth
Tips on How to Really Prepare for Postpartum Recovery
One Critical Reason Moms Need Better Postpartum Support

 

The food we eat is essential, especially in postpartum. Dr. Jennifer Roelands, OB-GYN, dives into just how important nutrition is and how it relates to postpartum depression, anxiety, gut health, and more. She also touches on the importance of self-advocacy and finding the proper care provider for your needs.

033 | Dr. Jennifer Roeland, OB/GYN, Women's Hormonal Health Coach

Jennifer's Journey toward Holistic Health

As a former sufferer of PCOS and hypothyroidism, Jen has been on the hormone roller coaster. From digestion issues to fatigue, to hair loss, to brain fog and infertility.

Even as a doctor, she was blown off by doctors who said my labs were normal. But she knew something was wrong, it had been 18 months and no baby.

Jen spent countless hours diving into nutrition and mind-body medicine. She learned how the gut is connected to hormone health. And medications like the birth control pill can wreak havoc on our bodies by depleting our bodies of nutrients and masking our symptoms but not actually treating the condition.

She found out the CAUSE of her symptoms and used that information to focus on gut health, stress reduction, and the right exercise for my body. She was able to lose weight, clear skin, wake up rested, have more energy, and ultimately get pregnant.

Holistic healing and postpartum

Nutrients and food are keys in postpartum recovery. The benefits extend beyond the health of the mother, but to the child. Supporting the mother in breastfeeding, anxiety and depression, hormonal health, and gut health. All these things are intricately linked in our recovery and the development of your baby, as well as nurturing healthy relationships with those supporting you.

Gut health & the importance of food

Jen explains how there is very little nutritional training for doctors. So much is linked to our diet and gut health. The gut is coined as the second brain, and after pregnancy, can become unbalanced due to all the hormonal changes our bodies have endured.

There isn't just one way to eat or support our gut. Depending on what ailments you are experiencing, adopting a holistic healing approach calls for personalized care. Whether you are looking to support a healthy cycle, skin, or digestion, there are different approaches you can take without needing to resort to a doctor's prescription.

What holistic healing looks like

Holistic healing is not a pill. It is a process of trial and error. There are no quick fixes when it comes to your health. But adopting these changes into your every day life will have long term effects. You will know what you need to support your health and your child's health.

You can't control the changes pregnancy can do to your body, but you can control what you put into your body. Balancing your plate will give you a better understanding of what your body needs and how you can support it in a natural way.

Topics covered

How healing is food? (2:06)
Integrating nutrition into your work as an OB/GYN (6:32)
The timeline of holistic healing (9:48)
Supporting a healthy cycle postpartum (13:43)
Advocating for more postpartum support in the medical community (19:56)
Advice if you feel you are not being heard by your doctor (24:17)
Nutrition & food is key to postpartum (30:51)
Final question (39:48)

Resources

• Dr. Roeland's coaching and courses

Additional resources

• Check out the Hello Postpartum eBook shop for expert-written postpartum recovery guides

The early postpartum days are often associated with little to no sleep. Listen to this episode and learn what you can do to create a solid sleep foundation and support your baby's - and yours! - sleep habits from early on.

Andi Metzler | Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant

Andi Metlzer founded Sleep Consulting to help other parents that struggle with a sleep routine. Inspired by her own life-changing sleep training experience, She had to jump on an airplane to meet Obleman and learn about the successful sleep program which has helped over 57,000 families. Simply put, she wanted to learn from the best. While most sleep coaches are “self-taught” or have taken a cheap online class, Andi invested heavily in my career as a sleep training professional. She's trained under one of the most well-respected experts in the field, and am proud to be a Certified Sleep Sense™ Consultant and founder of Andi Metzler Sleep Consulting.

Top baby sleep tips
One of the most important things to recognize is your babies wake window. A wake window is the time your baby is awake between sleep cycles. This window changes as your baby grows, but being in tune with when your baby needs to sleep early on is a great way for you to not only predict sleep but also help you recognize the signs of when your baby needs to sleep.

How do you help a baby get to sleep?
Babies sleep best on complete darkness, so dark that you can barely see your hand in front of you. Investing in black out blinds is a good start in getting your baby the sleep they need. The opposite goes for when they are awake. You want it to be bright and filled with sound, expose them to sun and playtime (depending on their age) so your baby will recognize what happens during awake time.

The most critical baby sleep tip
Next to your babies awake window, you want to follow the three step rule of eat, play, sleep. Paired with knowing the time your baby needs to be put down, you can regulate feeding, awake time and sleep more efficiently and, in doing so, efficiently regulate your own need for sleep as well.

Listen in as an author, spiritual teacher, and postpartum doula shares the potential power within the postpartum period. She shares tips on harnessing this transformational time and approaching it through a lens of love - even when it feels impossible.

Kelly Van Zandt, Powerful Postpartum

Kelly believes that the early moments of motherhood are some of the most transformational of a woman’s life, and Kelly highlights the spiritual growth of the woman in early motherhood. In her new book, Powerful Postpartum, Kelly presents a fresh and empowering perspective on the postpartum period as one filled with tremendous potential for growth and an opportunity to rediscover the woman’s truest essence.

What is spiritual mothering?

So many ideas of what a mother should be swim in our minds of expecting or new mothers. We experience a sense of selflessness; that motherhood is an act of martyrdom that is expected of us.

Spiritual mothering is about reaching into your self and listening to what is actually there. A tremendous movement of personal growth and development that is caused by this tiny life we are entrusted to nurture and protect.

What is the power of motherhood?

Motherhood can become a constant battle with seeking validation. There is no one who can validate you more, as a mother, than yourself. Taking yourself out away the idea of what it means to be a good mom and getting to the root of the why grants us a way to achieve internal freedom.

It is so rich and brimming with opportunities in acceptance and love. An eternal love that has always been there but only now are we experiencing for the first time. It allows us to see what is really in our hearts and allows us to bridge the gap between what limits our connections.

How motherhood impacts spirituality

Growth is not linear. It is riddled with slopes and bounds that we sometimes don't expect, especially in motherhood. But it also gives us the opportunity to connect with ourselves and understand the reasons why we perceive ourselves as we do.

This kind of opportunity can only strengthen the bond within ourselves and with those we keep closest to us.

 

Topics Covered:

What does spiritual driven motherhood look like? (1:53)
How do you know motherhood is growth (5:23)
Looking for that love (6:58)
The idea of motherhood (9:56)
Being conscious of where your thoughts come from (15:16)
Start here and now (18:57)
Final question (23:17)

Additional resources

Exploring the Spiritual Significance of Early Motherhood
How to Use Your Motherly Intuition to Make Postpartum Easier
Highly Sensitive Mother? What It Means and Tips to Better Cope