095 Women, Politics, Patriarchy and Weight Loss – A walk in the park with Alison Cork

In this episode I talk with Michaela Hyde from Marriage Foundation. It's more of a personal chat and debrief of 2022 really in which we cover empty nest syndrome, long term relationships, living with chronic pain, Michaela's menopause journey and my return to education. We also talk about HRT and also other techniques for resilience that help us survive the ups and downs of life.

As promised, here are the menopause-specific episodes:

• 104 To HRT or Not with Sharon Hartmann (this is an edited-down version of 91, Menopause HRT and your GP)
• 103 - Diane Danzebrink talks about her surgical menopause and how it resulted in her reaching breaking point and then becoming an activist for menopause awareness.
• 92 - Food, mood and hormones - how we can use what we eat to help navigate hormone change
• 91 - the full episode with Sharon Hartmann on making an informed decision re HRT and how to approach your GP
• 79 - Beyond The Bleed is with the menopause Psychologist Dr Becky Quicke about navigating anxiety and mental health through peri-menopause
• 78 - Knowing and Navigating the Smptoms of Menopause with the wonderful Diane Danzebrink

Sex therapist Emma Waring joins me for part 2, following on from episode 107, ‘Is Your Sex Life Dutiful or Beautiful?’ to discuss the more intimate side of pleasure and our sexual relationships. We discuss orgasms, how the clitoris works, how vibrators can improve our sex lives and she reveals the all-important location of the not-so-elusive G-Spot. (Did you know that 96% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm? Hollywood might have us think otherwise).

Emma shows various vibrators during this episode which we describe for audio-only purposes, however we did also film the conversation which you can see on www.womenwhatwhistle.com

We also cover sex in menopause and how vaginal atrophy can cause bacterial vaginosis and recurrent thrush - lubrication can be answered prayer for that.

Emma’s website is emmawaring.com and she mentioned various resources including Pillow Talk which is currently discounted on Amazon.

The other two episodes Emma has done with us are: 107 ‘Is Your Sex Life Dutiful or Beautiful?’, and also episode 94, ‘What Is Good Sex?’

Enjoy

In this episode we talk about equality in sex and relationships. We delve into the roots of cultural and religious writings that have informed a male superiority over the centuries, where women's shame around sex, nakedness and physical desire comes from, how we can recognise if our sexual script is skewed/damaged, and what to do about it. 

NB trigger warning at 15 minutes where Emma describes the action of rape, it is no more than one minute long.

Once again, Emma is fantastic and gives us lots to think about. If you've not heard the first episode she did, Episode 94 'What is Good Sex?' is well worth a listen as well, it is currently one of our most downloaded podcasts.

To get in touch with Emma Waring, here's her website

Emma's book is Seasons of Sex and Intimacy

She also mentioned Becoming Cliterate by Dr Laurie Mintz and Fairplay by Eve Rodsky

10 years ago, Helena Croft founded Streetlight UK. Prostitution and trafficking is a very real issue. It’s quite of the moment to suggest that sex work is empowering, but Helena has a very different and experienced take on this narrative which is currently being pushed about.

This episode is a conversation of two halves. First is about how Helena overcame terrible shyness and uncontrollable blushing that often held her back in life. And then how her faith helped her find her voice, which began her transition into politics. 10 years ago, she then founded Streetlight UK which gives support to women involved in prostitution.

You can read more about the charity on their website Spotlight UK  and the book Helena mentioned was Trafficked

Please get in touch if you have a story or know someone else who would love to share theirs. You can email me pipa.gordon@icloud.com or find me on social media.

In this podcast episode, author Cary J Hansson talks to me about her epic midlife adventure in which she went back to university, already as a mum of twins, and having also navigated divorce. She accidentally fell in love and decided to relocate to Sweden once she graduated… and then found out she was carrying more than suitcases!

I’m not so sure she set out for it to be an adventure but it really was, and then, of course, hormones began to change so she had some more navigating to do. During that time, she’s raising twins, a new baby, paddleboarding, cold water swimming and writing short stories and novels which you can find here and all of which deal wonderfully with all the true ups and downs of ‘midlife’.

Cary is a fabulous example of taking life by the horns and not being held back by fear of the just in case. It’s a wonderful conversation and reminder that life is for living, at every stage!

This is an edited-down version of podcast episode 91 in which Menopause specialist Sharon Hartmann discusses hormone change with me and how we can best navigate it.

She covers things like when hormone change begins, what can instigate it outside of the natural rhythm of life, and then she covers various symptoms, some more unknown than others.

We also discuss natural v HRT (spoiler: topically applied HRT IS a natural product), the difference between gel, patches and spray; the importance of how you apply, testosterone, the Mirena coil, and also the length of time to take HRT and if it's ever too late to get on board (spoiler: forever, and not usually) 

Sharon is an NHS nurse practitioner and runs a private practice to support women going through menopause. You can find her online here.

Please do subscribe to the podcast, you can find it on all platforms and if you'd like to subscribe to the blog as well, head over to Women What Whistle website.

This week we talk with Diane Danzebrink, campaigner, psychotherapist and menopause expert about her experience of menopause which was brought on by surgery for a hysterectomy, after discovering she had ovarian cysts, endometriosis, adenomyosis and a large fibroid. So severe were the psychological effects of menopause that it almost resulted in Diane ending her life. She tells the story in this episode.

Her website is www.menopausesupport.co.uk and you can sign the petition (please do because it’s getting very close to the all-important 200k) here. There are also extensive resources available on her website, she also records a podcast called The Good The Bad and The Downright Sweaty

Other episodes we have done on the menopause are:

78 Knowing and Navigating the Symptoms of menopause with Diane Danzebrink

79 Beyond the Bleed with psychologist Dr Becky Quicke

91 Sharon Hartmann – how to approach your GP

92 Food mood and hormones – Emma Ellice Flint

93 Testosterone is not just for boys, another great campaigner Dr Zoe Hodson

Please do come and join our Facebook group, and if you’d like to subscribe so you receive the podcast into your inbox, then please do on womenwhatwhistle.com

Finally, just a quick reminder - menopause itself is one day. It’s one year after your last period, however, it takes approximately 10 years of hormone change to get to that point, and it’s those years that we refer to when we say perimenopause. A LOT happens in that time – far from hot flushes!! Estrogen receptors are scattered throughout our bodies and so when our estrogen levels drop, it can affect us dramatically – the list of symptoms is long!

Physical:

• Hair loss
• Weight gain
• Brittle nails
• Vaginal dryness
• Sleep disorders
• Dizziness
• Incontinence
• Allergies
• Breast pain
• Headaches
• Joint pain
• Itchy skin
• Irregular periods
• Irregular heartbeat/palpitations
• Osteoporosis
• Burning tongue
• Tingling
• Gum problems
• Night sweats
• Hot flushes
• Changes in body odour
• Digestive problems

There can also be profound Psychological symptoms too, as we hear in this episode

• Mood swings
• Fatigue
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Irritability
• Difficulty concentrating
• Memory lapses
• Loss of libido

Remember, everyone's journey will be different. Please do not suffer in silence, there are many support groups and a wealth of information available. Reach out and connect, please don't hold back. Pipa x 

Grief is something that we’ve all found ourselves talking about with the loss of Queen Elizabeth. It has a profound impact on us and during this collective time, many of us have experienced the pain of other losses rise to the surface. In this episode, we talk to Jo Moseley, who found herself feeling at the end of herself after her own journey of grief and in the midst of menopause. Almost accidentally she turned it around and literally paddled her way out. She’s now a filmmaker, podcaster and writer, and the first woman to stand up paddleboard the 162 coast-to-coast trail from the west to the east coast of England. She says she’s just an ordinary person, which of course we all are – so it just goes to show, that if we are brave enough, we can do anything.

You can connect with Jo on social media @healthyhappy50 or you can find out more about her on her website, you can download her film Brave Enough, and find her podcast, The Joy of SUP here as well as on all the usual platforms.

You can also get in touch with me @PipaGordon on social media or via the website where you can subscribe so that you don't miss a podcast or a post.

Here we go, the first episode of Women What Whistle, renamed and revamped and very much about not falling in line or fading away. It’s about finding our brave through the stories of other women who’ve had to find theirs. 

We start this week with a conversation laying out the concept that challenges our perception of normal. We so often berate ourselves for not being like someone else, but ultimately, normal is most beneficial when measured against ourselves. Dr Sarah Chaney, historian of nursing and emotions, joins me for a conversation in which we talk about how this concept of normal came about, and just how flawed it is.

Sarah touches on her own experience growing up, of trauma, living with grief, being bullied, self-harm and feeling immensely anxious on a daily basis. She’s a wonderful example of being shaped by her experience of life so far, allowing the process to mould her into who she is today and embracing her past in order to shape her future – surely that is the perfect example of finding true personal fulfilment.

Culturally we have become obsessed with happiness, but I think contentment and fulfilment is perhaps a more valuable aspiration. But, those things don’t come from what we have or what others see, they come from allowing ourselves to embark on our own journey, by owning our past and allowing it to shape who we are today and carry us into tomorrow.

Sarah has written 2 books, Psyche on the Skin – a history of Self Harm, and Am I Normal – the 200 year search for normal people (and why they don’t exist). She’s also co-hosted a fascinating podcast series called Living With Feeling and if you can follow her on Twitter @kentishscribble

It's so great to be back and thanks for listening! Each new episode will be published every other Tuesday across all podcast platforms. You can also subscribe for free on womenwhatwhistle.com which means you will get it delivered to your inbox, and you'll also receive my fortnightly newsletter/chat on non podcast weeks. If you would like to support with £4 per month, you will also get access to the undedited video conversation – it won’t be polished like the podcast is, and won’t have my chat at the beginning and the end, but will give you the opportunity to see how the interview actually went in real time, warts and all. It will also help keep the podcast going without the need for random ads!

Please note that if you’re a free subscriber, you don’t miss anything, you still get all the best bits in the podcast itself.

THE STORY SO FAR: Welcome to our final episode from inside the wardrobe. We are relaunching with a slightly new focus in the Autumn which I explain about in this episode

The previous episodes I signpost are:

Menopause: 72, 78, 79, 91, 92, 93

The 5 love languages: 25

What is good sex: 94

Eating disorders or food related: 29 76 92 95

Grief and depression: 49 84 85

The link to my website is here

The link for subscribing to Women What Whistle is here

And the link to our Facebook group page is here

As ever, thank you so much for listening – much love all round!!