1.7 - Deathly Hallow Testies Part 1

The gang is back with the final stand alone Jason Voorhees film before the 2009 remake. GC, Jen & J all watch as Jason gets cryogenically frozen at the Crystal Lake Research Facility, brought aboard a space craft 400 years in the future with plans to be sold on Earth 2. Tale as old as time. This film is a Canadian mess, it's not hard to see why it had been shelved for a couple of years before finally getting its theatrical release. This movie a warning for the future that awaits our planet, and the game of hockey. A futuristic field trip, the Microsoft Wars, and Uber Jason will have you begging for a glimpse of Earth 2 in the sequel that never was.                          instagram.com/franchiseguides               twitter.com/FG_HarryPodder            thefranchiseguides.buzzsprout.com                  franchiseguides@gmail.com

Josh Gets Shaved! Would've been a far more apt title for this movie. Join GC, Jen & J as they power through this franchise and watch 1993s "Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday". All 3 are rather underwhelmed and Jen & GC had a few moments where this movie felt unwatchable. This is gross-out 90s horror at it's peak and Jason Voorhees takes a backseat for almost the entire movie. If you thought Jason X stole from Alien, wait until you see the little demonic worm in this movie! We talk about just how the franchise got here, Tony the Wonder Llama, and all kinds of Crystal Lake townies. After disappointing those looking forward to seeing Jason walk the streets of Manhattan, fans of hell are going to be rather upset as well.
                                                                     
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Ahoy! Start spreading the news, Jason is heading to New York and as they say; it ain't the destination, it's the journey! Join the gang as they experience roughly 20 mins of what Jason Voorhees in New York looks like and it's safe to say everyone was having a better time on the way there. This is a heartless cheesy mess, unfortunately with none of the campy fun that we got in Part 5: A New Beginning. This movie also leaves GC, Jen & J scratching their heads as to just what year this is supposed to be if this high school senior experienced a young Jason trying to drown her in Crystal Lake? That toxic sewer sludge couldn't come soon enough, this movie made the guides sea sick.            

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The gang returns to Crystal Lake and it seems many years have passed? No one told the wardrobe dept though. We join telekinetic Tina Sheppard and her exploitive therapist, "Weekend at Bernie's" Terry Kiser as they bring Jason back from his resting place, deep within the waters of Crystal Lake. This is such a strange movie, wherein the writer's had to use a "Carrie" type to give Jason a foe, in place of Freddy Krueger. We talk about Mike's surprise party that no one seems to mind he doesn't show up for, a toxic mean girl who has one of the funniest death's in the series, and the infamous sleeping-bag-against-a-tree death. Head on over to Crystal Lake while you still can, after this instalment Jason Takes Manhattan! 
like the muppets.


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Join the gang as they head to a quaint little town called Forest Green. It's definitely far away from that death trap, Crystal Lake. Roy Burns is never to be heard from again, and as long as no one digs up the body during a thunderstorm, Jason has been neutralized. GC, Jen & J have a blast talking about the steamy relationship between a grown Tommy Jarvis and the Forest Green Sheriff's daughter, Meghan. Along the way we discuss officer handsome's fur-hooded jacket, soupy sound effects, and whether or not you void your bowels when you die. Jason Lives!


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Come along on a trip to the Pinehurst Halfway House in Crystal Lake (?) as we're brought into a world (by a porn director) where Jason Voorhees is no longer and someone else has decided to dawn the iconic hockey mask; albeit with a slight modification via blue triangle decals. The 5th instalment of the Friday the 13th franchise is so gloriously 80s, full of shallow characters, sex scenes and inventive deaths, you may not even mind that this is the only movie in the franchise that forgets to include Jason Voorhees. On a weekend outside of his Goonies schedule, Corey Feldman even makes an appearance. Do yourself a favour and watch this strange one-off that may be one of the worst of the series, but possibly also the most entertaining.

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Special Guest Alert!! Franchise Guides is joined by our good friend Suzy to dish on this deliciously 80s, horny, horror movie. It's 1984 and Friday the 13th knows exactly what it's about as we watch a hulking man stalking through the woods and tossing teenagers through windows while a young Corey Feldman plays video games and makes creepy masks. Crispin Glover displays the most interesting of dances before looking for a corkscrew...Join GC, Jen, J & Suzy as they tackle the 4th instalment in the saga of Jason Voorhees!


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Friday the 13th 3-D! Coming at ya! The gang is ready to get back in the water on what we believe to be a Saturday the 14th? Sunday the 15th? Somewhere in that ball park as we pick up right where Part 2 left us. This is such a strange movie with a bright vibrant colour palate, a new crew of mostly hateable dead meats, Jason finally gets his iconic goalie mask, and for some reason, what 80s Hollywood thought a gang was. Also a man gets chopped in the crotch while doing a hand stand. This movie has everything! Check it out and listen in as we discuss Shelly's Demise!


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The gang makes like adult Jason and returns to Crystal Lake to hang with a new crop of dead meat camp counsellors! Jason has taken over where his mother left off. Now a grown man, he's living off the land and hunting down anyone that dares to visit the lake. We get into just what the plumbing situation is in Jason's scrap shack and see all sorts of sexy hijinks from the Dirty Newsies and creepy Scott. Thankfully child psychologist "Ginny" (she is referred to as Jenny the entire episode) is there to impersonate Jason's mom and trick him long enough to get the upper hand! GC gives this episode 10 skiddies and needs to re-up his subscription of Fresh'Undies.  Join us won't you?


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Ki! Ki! Ki! GC rocks an epic undie skid through this one after we watch Kevin Bacon and friends meet their maker in the form of one pissed off mother. The gang storms into Camp Crystal Lake to play a little strip Monopoly and talk extensively about just what Kevin Bacon was up to with that tightly wrapped erection. GC, Jen & J prepare themselves to walk through the 1980s with a franchise so infamous, the killer was already spoiled for GC when watching Scream....also Snape kills Dumbledore. 


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