Podcast Summary
Discussing inner child healing and Bumble's new features: Bumble introduces new features for easier dating and safer chats, while addressing our inner child promotes healing and self-love
Bumble, a dating app, recognizes the exhaustion people feel with the dating scene and is introducing new features to make compatibility easier, chats more engaging, and dating safer. Meanwhile, on The Open House Podcast, host Louise Rumble welcomes psychotherapist Tasha Bailey, who specializes in trauma, self-love, and creativity in therapy. They discuss the concept of the inner child, which is the young, childlike part of us that holds our memories and emotions. Our inner child never goes away, and it can be wounded. Tasha, who has worked with both children and adults, emphasizes the importance of addressing our inner child to promote healing and self-love. Bumble's new features aim to make dating easier, while working on our inner child can lead to personal growth and happiness.
Childhood wounds and their impact on adulthood: Everyone carries childhood wounds, and play, joy, and creativity aid in healing. Balance is key in engaging in hobbies and social environments.
Everyone carries some form of unprocessed childhood wounds into adulthood, regardless of the perfection of their upbringing. These wounds can stem from various sources, including family dynamics, school, friends, and societal influences. Play, joy, and creativity are crucial elements in the healing journey, helping to balance the focus on wounds and pain. Hobbies and social environments can also contribute to childhood wounds through pressure, criticism, or cultural messaging. It's essential to recognize the multilayered nature of these wounds and strive for balance, allowing ourselves to engage in hobbies and fun activities without the constant need for validation or monetization.
Rediscovering Childhood Joys as Adults: Embrace new experiences, overcome fears, and find joy in hobbies for personal growth and happiness.
It's important to make time for hobbies and activities that bring us joy, not just those that are productive or profitable. The speaker shares her experience with pottery and the desire to sell it, but recognizes the value in creating for the sake of personal enjoyment. She also encourages reflection on past hobbies and considering reconnecting with them as an adult. The fear of embarrassment or the belief that hobbies are unimportant can hold us back, but embracing new experiences and being authentic to ourselves can lead to great rewards. The speaker's own examples include rediscovering dance and overcoming her fear of roller skating. So, take some time to think about what brought you joy as a child and consider how you might reconnect with those activities as an adult.
Understanding the connection between inner child and shadow: Acknowledging and addressing the contents of our shadow can prevent emotional outbreaks and negative behaviors.
Our inner child and shadow are two separate concepts, but they can be connected. The inner child refers to experiences and lessons from our past that have left us feeling unloved or unable to be cared for. The shadow, on the other hand, is a metaphorical cupboard or basement where we store things we don't want to acknowledge about ourselves. These unwanted aspects can include fears, mistakes, and imperfections. However, if we don't deal with the contents of our shadow, it can eventually overflow and spill out in ways we can't control, leading to emotional outbreaks or other negative behaviors. As we age, if we haven't learned to process our emotions effectively, the shadow can become increasingly full, leading to a breaking point where it spills out and causes disruption in our lives. It's essential to acknowledge and address the contents of our shadow to prevent it from overspilling and causing harm.
Healing from past traumas: Connecting with inner child and understanding core beliefs aids healing process, healing is about acknowledging and addressing past wounds to build a stronger foundation for growth.
Entering a healthy relationship or creating a safe environment for oneself can lead to a period of healing, but it's not always an easy or enjoyable process. The traumas and wounds we've been carrying for years may surface, and it's essential to face them to move forward. This can be done with or without a relationship or a therapist, but connecting with the inner child and understanding core beliefs can be helpful in the healing journey. The inner child, which holds emotions like joy, authenticity, and play, may be locked away in our shadow, and reconnecting with it is crucial for accessing these emotions and being our true selves. Healing is not about making an identity out of our wounds, but rather acknowledging and addressing them to build a stronger foundation for growth.
Childhood experiences shape our beliefs and behaviors as adults: Identifying and healing childhood wounds, such as the guilt and trust wounds, can lead to greater self-awareness and personal growth.
Understanding and addressing the narratives and wounds from our childhood experiences is essential for personal growth as an adult. Our first seven years of life shape our brain significantly, and the lessons we learn during this period can influence our beliefs and behaviors as adults. Two common childhood wounds discussed are the guilt wound and the trust wound. The guilt wound stems from a childhood where one's needs were not met or were met with guilt, leading to an adult feeling guilty when asking for help or meeting their own needs. The trust wound, on the other hand, results from a lack of emotional attunement or a consistent lack of trust in one's own decisions and abilities, leading to a reliance on others for validation and guidance. Both wounds can be challenging to identify but are crucial in understanding one's healing journey. The inner child, wounded or not, and the inner critic are interconnected concepts, and addressing these aspects of ourselves can lead to greater self-awareness and personal growth.
The connection between inner critic and childhood wounds: Understanding and healing childhood wounds can help us quiet our inner critic and live more fulfilling lives
Our inner critic and wounds from childhood are interconnected. The inner critic, which develops around the age of 7, can be influenced by the critical experiences and relationships we have during our formative years. These experiences can shape our inner critic into a harsh and judgmental voice within our thoughts. Unfinished business from our inner child refers to the wounds we experienced as children that we didn't get the care and validation we needed after they happened. As adults, it's essential to revisit these wounds and process them to heal and give our inner child the care they didn't receive. This concept is similar to the idea of reparenting ourselves as adults. Age regressions, which can occur as a result of unresolved childhood wounds, can be intense and overwhelming experiences that feel like they're not a part of who we are as adults. Understanding the connection between our inner critic, childhood wounds, and the need for healing can help us navigate our emotional experiences and grow as individuals.
Recognizing regression moments as opportunities for healing: Regression is a natural response to unmet needs from our inner child. Acknowledge and heal these moments for emotional resilience.
Intense emotional reactions can be linked to feelings of regression, where we revert back to a younger version of ourselves. This can happen when unmet needs from our inner child resurface, leading to feelings of anger, sadness, or overwhelm. Regression is a common experience and can be triggered by various situations, such as family gatherings or unmet needs in our current relationships. It's important to recognize these moments as opportunities for healing rather than judgments. By acknowledging and compassionately addressing the hurt parts of ourselves, we can begin to heal the wounds of our inner child and move forward with greater emotional resilience.
Understanding and addressing emotions for personal growth: Recognize emotions, prioritize self-care, practice self-compassion, and address underlying feelings to promote personal growth and healthier emotional responses.
Recognizing and addressing our emotions, especially when they lead to intense reactions, is crucial for personal growth. This process involves understanding that it's okay to prioritize ourselves, such as removing ourselves from stressful situations or calling a friend for support. Additionally, it's essential to practice self-compassion and not hold shame over past emotional experiences. Many of us were not taught healthy ways to process emotions as children, leading to emotional baggage that can build up and eventually explode. By acknowledging and addressing these feelings, we can begin the process of reparenting ourselves and learning to respond to our emotions in healthier, more compassionate ways. When intense emotions like anger pass, it's essential to ask ourselves what we're truly feeling beneath the surface. Anger often serves as a protective barrier against more vulnerable emotions, and addressing these underlying feelings can lead to deeper connections with ourselves and others.
Reparenting yourself: Being a better parent to your inner child: Explore the roots of intense emotions, practice self-compassion, and nurture your inner child for improved well-being.
Anger and other intense emotions often hide deeper feelings, particularly for the inner child. Reparenting involves being a better parent to yourself by providing both love and guidance, as well as setting boundaries and educating yourself. However, some people may struggle with setting boundaries due to their inner child's desire for instant gratification or as a form of revenge for past neglect. To effectively reparent yourself, it's important to investigate and understand the root causes of your emotions, practice self-compassion, and take steps to nurture and educate your inner child. This can lead to a healthier, more balanced relationship with yourself and improved overall well-being.
Believing in self-worth is crucial for maintaining boundaries: To maintain boundaries effectively, believe in self-worth, embrace discomfort, find balance between love and discipline, and make the process enjoyable.
Maintaining our boundaries and following through with our goals requires believing in our self-worth. When we let go of our resolutions or intentions, it may be due to a lack of faith in our ability to achieve them. Our brains prefer familiarity, even if it's detrimental to our growth. To overcome this, we must learn that unfamiliarity isn't always bad and embrace discomfort. This ties back to the idea that if we don't think we are worthy, we won't make the effort. Additionally, some people struggle to find balance between nurturing themselves and setting boundaries, leading to either excessive self-criticism or a lack of discipline. To maintain boundaries effectively, it's essential to find a balance between love and discipline, and to make the process enjoyable. By weaving play and work together, we can make the journey towards growth more enjoyable and sustainable. So remember, keep the joy in your healing journey, and don't forget to reward yourself after setting boundaries. You can find the author's book on Amazon, Kindle, or at Waterstones.
A viable alternative for those unable to access therapy: This book offers valuable information and acts as a substitute for professional help for those seeking sobriety but unable to access therapy.
The book "The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober" by Catherine Gray serves as an accessible and comprehensive resource for those seeking guidance on sobriety but unable to access therapy. Gray's book, which is filled with valuable information, can act as a substitute for professional help. Its availability in various bookstores and online platforms makes it a convenient option for those on a journey to sobriety. Despite the sad reality that not everyone has access to therapy, this book offers a viable alternative. So, if you're looking to embark on a sober journey but can't currently access professional help, consider picking up a copy of "The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober."
