Podcast Summary
The Impact of Social Status Pursuit on Mental Health: Comparing ourselves to others in pursuit of social status can lead to negative mental health outcomes. Becoming aware of the unattainable standards set by society can alleviate pressure and improve well-being.
According to journalist Will Storr and podcast host Dr. Rangan Chatterjee, our pursuit of social status is a key factor in our mental health. We compare ourselves to others and strive to meet an unattainable standard set by culture, media, and celebrities. This leads to social perfectionism and materialistic goal seeking, which is linked to mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, self-harm, and eating disorders. Storr argues that we are not meant to win this status game, just to play it, and becoming aware of this fact can make life easier. The podcast provides a thought-provoking perspective on our pursuit of status and its impact on our well-being.
The Negative Effects of Perfectionism on Mental Health and How Society Plays a Part: The pressure to be perfect created by society and social media can be harmful to mental health. The economic struggle faced by younger generations may also contribute to the rise of perfectionism.
Perfectionism is on the rise, and it can have serious negative effects on mental health, including self-harm, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, depression, and anxiety. Perfectionists have a sensitivity to failure due to the repeated message that surrounds them from society, media, and celebrities that says they are not good enough. The bar for what is considered good enough is set by culture and social media, creating stress, especially for young people. The rise in perfectionism may also be related to the economic struggle faced by millennials and Gen Z, making it harder to feel good enough in an economic sense. The neoliberalism economic theory embraced by Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan in the 80s ramped up individualism and competition, which changed the soul of society in the West.
The Dangers of Perfectionism in a Competitive Society: Society's unrealistic expectations can harm mental health. Recognizing and rejecting perfectionism can lead to a healthier mindset and self-acceptance.
The rules of the game of life have changed since the 1980s, leading to a society that is super competitive and individualistic. This change is intentional on the part of governments and has led to a rise in unrealistic standards of achievement and appearance. The bar for what is considered good enough or high status has been raised to sometimes crazy levels, resulting in a culture of perfectionism. This perfectionism is linked to increasing rates of stress, anxiety, depression, and eating disorders. Understanding that society sets unrealistic expectations can help individuals take steps towards a healthier mindset and learn to accept themselves as they are.
The Dangers of Social Perfectionism: Feeling the need to meet other people's expectations can be toxic and linked to suicide. It's important to recognize that societal constructs, like body image and gender roles, play a big part in this pressure.
Social perfectionism is a toxic form of perfectionism where individuals feel that they are not meeting other people's expectations of them. This type of perfectionism is particularly dangerous as it is often rooted in our imaginations of what other people are thinking about us, which may not even be true. It is linked to suicide and suicidal ideation, especially in middle-aged men who feel that success becomes more of a struggle in middle age. The idea of being a man is a cultural construct, and the pressure to live up to this can be overwhelming. Body image issues and the way our bodies look are also part of the status game, which is constantly being played, often unconsciously.
The Pitfalls of Perfectionism and High-Status Conformity: Pursuing unattainable perfectionism can harm mental health. Balance healthy aspiration with prioritizing well-being. Understand the context of conformity and strive for a healthy balance of growth and self-care.
Perfectionism is a double-edged sword, and while it can lead to positive growth and development, it can also become toxic when the bar for success is set too high. Our instinct to copy, conform, and flatter high-status individuals comes from our evolutionary history when tribal consensus and cooperation were essential for survival. However, in today's world, the abundance of high-status individuals can lead to a harmful pursuit of unattainable perfectionism, which can lead to anxiety, depression, and self-harm. It's important to understand the context and balance between healthy aspiration and damaging perfectionism, allowing for growth while prioritizing mental health and well-being.
Overcoming Perfectionism in the Age of Social Media: Social media shows only the best side of people, leading to feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. Practical steps can be taken to protect ourselves and prevent the negative effects of comparison.
In today's digital age, we are constantly bombarded by images of perfection online, leading us to compare ourselves with others and feel inadequate. Even though we may know rationally that social media presents only the best side of people, our subconscious still perceives it as real. It's important to understand that perfectionism is driven by our need for status, which Will Storr examines in his book. Even successful individuals, like Storr himself, can feel inferior when comparing themselves with others online. Therefore, it is crucial to take practical steps to protect ourselves and examine our insecurities to prevent the negative effects of social media.
Taking Control of Your Mental and Emotional Wellbeing Online.: Mute accounts that make you feel awful or constantly trigger negative emotions for a healthier online experience. Remember, status is about feeling valued, so prioritize your personal wellbeing over societal expectations.
In a world where we spend a lot of time online and constantly compare ourselves to others, it's important to take control of our mental and emotional wellbeing. Muting accounts that make us feel awful or constantly trigger negative emotions is a practical tip to consider. We often feel bad about unfollowing someone, but muting is a less aggressive act and helps us maintain distance when we need it. The concept of status is often associated with material possessions and wealth, but it's really about feeling valued. Connection is important, but once we've connected, we don't want to be at the bottom of the status ladder for long.
The Importance of Status in Human Psychology: Humans are driven by the pursuit of status, which incentivizes us to join groups and become valuable to them. Understanding the importance of status can help us in our personal and professional lives, and aid us in understanding the behaviors of others.
Humans are driven by the need for status in order to be seen as valuable within their tribe. Being virtuous or being good at something are ways to earn status, and those with higher status have access to better food, choice of mates, and safety. The pursuit of status is a fundamental rule of the subconscious human mind, as it incentivizes us to join groups and become valuable to them. There are different status games, including those based on influence, like the Dalai Lama. Understanding the importance of status can help us in our personal and professional lives, and aid us in understanding the motivations and behaviors of those around us.
The Three Main Status Games Humans Play: Dominance, virtue, and success are the three main status games that humans play. While dominance is a violent form of status, virtue and success are all about being valuable to our tribe. However, the flaw in human cognition is that we can never win the game of success since there will always be someone who has more.
Status is a natural aspect of human society and there are three main status games that humans play: dominance, virtue, and success. Dominance is a violent form of status that has been present since animals roamed the earth. The two more recent forms of status games are virtue and success, which are all about being valuable to our tribe. Virtue involves developing a reputation as a good person, doing things where people perceive you as being nice. Success, on the other hand, is driven by the belief that more and more will make us happy. However, the flaw in human cognition is that we can never win the game of success since there will always be someone who has more.
The Pitfalls of Our Obsession with Status: Our constant striving for status can be exhausting and even seeing vulnerability from high-status individuals can reinforce an unhealthy gap. It's important to prioritize personal growth and happiness over just pursuing status.
Life is a game with no end, and this functional lie keeps us striving to be of value again and again. While it may be comforting to know that high-status individuals like Jeff Bezos and Taylor Swift aren't necessarily happy, our constant striving for status can make life exhausting. Even when celebrities show vulnerability and realness online, it may actually reinforce the gap between us and them while also making being sad and anxious high status. It is important to be aware of our obsession with status and to strive for personal growth and happiness rather than just pursuing status.
The Rise of Performative Vulnerability and Authenticity in Social Media: Playing the status game can drive personal growth and fulfillment, but too much focus on it and not enough on recovery can lead to stress and burnout. It's important to recognize and play the status game in a positive way.
The conversation highlights the rise of performative vulnerability and authenticity in social media, where some people may be performing to get validation because vulnerability has become a high status symbol. However, this behavior should not be looked down upon, as it is human nature to play the status game. The status game isn't necessarily bad because it drives individuals to be better and master new skills. But like with any double-edged sword, too much focus on the status game and not enough on recovery can lead to stress and burnout. Therefore, it's important to recognize the status game and play it in a positive way that drives personal growth and fulfillment.
The Hazards of Status Games: Comparing ourselves to others is natural, but finding status in other areas like volunteering or community involvement can compensate for a lack of status in work or other areas of life.
The section discusses the concept of status games and how even people with significant status can get caught up in the game. The example of Paul McCartney shows that none of us are immune to playing this game, as we all have a natural human tendency to compare ourselves to others. The discussion on virtue games highlights the importance of finding status in other areas of our lives, such as volunteering and community involvement. This can be especially beneficial for individuals who may not feel they are getting enough status from their work or other aspects of their lives. Therefore, it is possible to compensate for lack of status in one area by finding it in another.
The Importance of Playing Multiple Status Games for Happiness and Stability: Belonging to multiple groups and playing multiple status games can provide emotional stability and prevent negative effects. It's important to diversify our status sources to avoid feeling lost when one game is no longer available.
Playing multiple status games is important for our overall happiness and emotional stability. Belonging to multiple groups and sources of status signals to our subconscious brain that we are of value to others. Relying on just one game or source of status can leave us vulnerable to negative effects if it fails or has down days. Our status games are intertwined with our identity, which is why it's important to play multiple games to hedge our identity and avoid feeling lost or overwhelmed when one game is no longer available. This can also be seen in empty nest syndrome, where someone's entire identity is tied to parenting, making it difficult when their children leave home.
The Pressure to Succeed: How Parents' Desires Can Harm Children: Parents should question whether they are pushing their children for their own status or for their child's benefit. Pursuing diverse interests outside of academics, like volunteering, can broaden perspectives and lead to more meaningful endeavors.
Parents can become overly invested in their children's success due to societal pressure and their own desire for status. This can lead to toxic behaviors and immense pressure on children. Even well-meaning parents may need to ask themselves if they are pushing their children for their own benefit or for their child's well-being. The pursuit of status is a basic human drive that often influences our decisions, including the prioritization of education or other achievements. In order to avoid becoming vulnerable to this narrow focus, it is important to play multiple games and pursue diverse interests. Volunteering is one way to broaden our perspectives and engage in more meaningful endeavors.
The Unexpected Benefits of Volunteering: Volunteering can provide human connection, a sense of value and help individuals struggling with isolation. It can also offer personal growth and fulfillment, as well as the opportunity to learn and understand a topic better.
Volunteering can have unexpected benefits, such as providing human connection and a sense of value. It can also help individuals struggling with isolation and vulnerability due to personal or professional setbacks. Even if it is not something one initially considers, volunteering can be a way to create a new identity and universe to play the game of life in. Additionally, writers often write books that they need for themselves, and volunteering can provide an opportunity to learn and understand a topic better. Ultimately, volunteering can offer more than just helping others, and it is worth considering as a way to gain personal growth and fulfillment.
The Influence of Social Pressure on Health Habits: The pressure to conform to social norms can make it difficult to adopt healthy habits. Joining new communities can provide support and new sources of status, making it easier to make positive changes.
The struggle to make positive health changes can often be due to the social pressures and status associated with certain behaviors. Will Storr shares his experience of feeling extremely lonely after giving up alcohol, which had been a central part of his social life. Dr Rangan Chatterjee highlights how existing friendships and communities can be a barrier to making positive changes, as the group power is stronger than individual power. However, joining new communities like CrossFit or Weight Watchers can provide a new source of status and support. By tuning workouts to personal abilities, CrossFit has successfully created a cult-like status game, which motivates individuals to push themselves beyond their limits.
CrossFit's Supportive Status Game: CrossFit cultivates a culture of encouragement and camaraderie, where individuals support each other regardless of fitness level or experience. This fosters a sense of belonging and positive support, setting it apart from toxic corporate environments.
CrossFit is not a contest with a focus on individual achievement. Instead, it encourages a culture of massive support for each other, where everyone is pumping each other up with status, no matter how fit or experienced they are. This is a key reason why people become addicted to CrossFit, as it creates a beautifully designed status game where everyone is being maximally generous with the status they're giving to one another. In contrast to toxic status games found in the corporate world, CrossFit promotes a culture where everyone crowds around you, giving you positive support to achieve your best, creating a strong sense of belonging and connection within the community.
The Evolution of Small Status Games and the Overwhelming Impact of Modern Society on Mental Health.: We are not programmed to handle modern society's enormous status games. Our brains are limited to managing social groups of only 150 people. To achieve true happiness, focus on small, positive interactions within our social groups.
Humans evolved to play small status games within their tribal groups, and the size of the group the human brain can effectively manage is limited to 150 people. However, modern society has created enormous status games where individuals are exposed to an overwhelming amount of opinions and competition. This can lead to stress and unhappiness, as humans are not evolved to handle such large-scale status games. Social media and other modern technologies have amplified the competition and can be detrimental to mental health. It is important to remember the limitations of the human brain and focus on small, positive interactions within our social groups to achieve true happiness.
The Importance of Knowing Your Place in a Status Game: In a world that values status, it is crucial to understand our place in society for a sense of belonging and meaning. This goes beyond physical behaviors and can impact aging and overall well-being.
The modern world has turned into a massive status game, where people are constantly playing with those who are much higher up on the ladder of success. Companies have become big players in this game, with 69 out of the 100 biggest economies in the world being companies, not nations. This game has led to diluted status, making it challenging for individuals to feel a sense of belonging and value in their roles. As a result, people are missing the importance of knowing their place in their community and society, which is essential for aging well and finding meaning in their lives. It is crucial to focus on this fundamental idea rather than just physical behaviors.
The Link Between Status and Health: Higher status can lead to better health outcomes, not just due to financial advantages but also the hierarchy itself. Even monkeys showed improved health when hierarchy was changed. Status games and happiness are not necessarily linked to wealth.
A strong relationship exists between status and health, according to studies such as the White Hall studies. The higher a person's position in a hierarchy, the better their health outcomes tend to be. This is not just due to financial advantages like gym memberships, but is actually caused by the hierarchy itself. Even in studies with monkeys, the lowest-ranked animals were more likely to suffer health consequences, and changing their hierarchy improved their health outcomes. However, there are many different status games people play, and it is possible to have a low socioeconomic status but high status within a smaller group. Happiness is also not necessarily linked to wealth, as people tend to measure their status relative to those around them.
Understanding the Unique Status Games We Play: Identifying the status games we play by examining our identities, hobbies, and skills helps us navigate interactions with others. Status games are not good or bad, just ingrained in human nature.
Status is a game we all play, but it's unique to our tribe and culture. Different status games have different rules for measuring status. For example, in Silicon Valley, it's not cool to be flashy, so even the top executives fly economy. Identifying the status games we play can be done by looking at our identities, hobbies and what we think we're good at. It's important to recognize that status games are not good or bad, they're just inherent in human nature. By understanding the status game we're playing, we can better navigate our interactions with others and achieve our goals.
The Importance of Status and How to Attain It: Status is crucial for a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Find your strengths and share them with others locally to cultivate status. It's more important than money.
In his interview with Dr. Rangan Chatterjee, author Will Storr highlights the importance of having sources of status in one's life. Without it, a lack of value and purpose can set in. Storr suggests finding something that you are quite good at and playing local status games rather than competing with the whole world. He also emphasizes that status is more important than money and that it is attainable by identifying one's strengths and finding ways to share them with others. Recognize the vital role status plays in our lives and to focus on cultivating it based on our unique abilities and contributions.
