Podcast Summary
Saving Money on Healthy Foods with Thrive Market: Join Thrive Market for wholesale prices, save $30 on average per order, and donate a free membership to a low-income family. Try it with up to $20 in shopping credit and get free supplements with first subscription purchase.
Thrive Market is a membership-based online store offering healthy and affordable options for various dietary needs. The speaker shared his personal experience of saving money on Primal Kitchen mayonnaise, Justin's almond butter, Rows homemade marinara sauce, and more, totaling $39 in savings on one order. Thrive Market members can earn wholesale prices every day and save an average of $30 on each order. Additionally, for every paid membership, Thrive Market donates a free membership to a low-income family in need. Consumers can try Thrive Market with up to $20 in shopping credit by joining through the link provided. The speaker also recommended Athletic Greens, a supplement containing approximately 75 vitamins, minerals, and whole food-sourced ingredients, which he has used for over a decade and endorsed in his book, "The 4-Hour Body," before it was monetarily beneficial to him. Athletic Greens is offering a free 20-count travel pack for first-time buyers, and a special offer of a free vitamin D supplement and five free travel packs with the first subscription purchase.
Discover new things each week with Five Bullet Friday newsletter: Stay informed and discover new apps, books, documentaries, and exclusive opportunities with a free, weekly newsletter curated by Elizabeth Gilbert
The value of Elizabeth Gilbert's Five Bullet Friday newsletter. This simple, free, and action-packed email newsletter has become a popular way for Tim Ferriss's podcast listeners and book readers to discover new and interesting things each week. It's a great way to learn about apps, books, documentaries, and other cool finds, as well as get access to exclusive opportunities and early access to limited offers. Elizabeth Gilbert herself is a testament to the newsletter's reach and impact, as she met Tim through it and has become a beloved and iconic writer. So, if you're looking for a short, yet impactful way to stay informed and discover new things, consider subscribing to Five Bullet Friday. You can learn more and subscribe at tim.blog/friday.
A Powerful and Extraordinary Person's Battle with Terminal Illness: Love transcends boundaries and the strongest people defy expectations, even in the face of terminal illness.
Love knows no boundaries and the strongest people are those who have faced their struggles head-on. Rhea Elias, a Detroit-raised, Syrian, lesbian, rock and roll hairdresser, filmmaker, author, and musician, was the most powerful and extraordinary person the speaker had ever met. Despite her past as a speedball heroin junkie, Raya spent 19 years clean and sober when the speaker met her. She was a beacon of safety and strength, always ensuring everyone around her felt secure. When Raya was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic and liver cancer, the speaker's love for her could no longer be hidden. She had a conversation with her husband and left him to be with Raya until the end. In preparing for a talk about Raya at The Moth, the speaker aimed to convey who Raya was - an epic human being who defied expectations until the very end. Instead of becoming helpless, Raya remained the alpha, refusing to conform to the speaker's preconceived notions of dying. Her truth had legs, and she died as fiercely and unrelentingly as she had lived. The conversation with her husband and preparing for the talk were both natural and difficult, guided by Raya's teachings to always tell the truth.
Embrace the truth and skip the drama: Life's constant truths require acceptance, and embracing them sets us free. Grief is a natural force that cannot be managed, only ridden out.
The truth is the only constant in life, and it's essential to confront it, even if it's painful. Raya, a character in the text, lived her life by this principle, urging people to put their truth on the table and skip the drama. When the speaker finally revealed her truth to the man she loved, it set them both free. The speaker also learned that no matter how much we plan, life has a way of refusing to cooperate. This was evident in her attempts to manage Raya's death and her own grief. Ultimately, she realized that grief is a force of nature that cannot be managed or mastered, and the only way to survive it is to let it take you and ride the waves of emotion, even the rage, as they come.
Unexpected forms of grief: anger and humor: Grief can bring about intense anger and unexpected humor as coping mechanisms. Allow yourself to feel and express these emotions to fully experience your loss.
Grief can manifest in unexpected ways, including intense anger. The speaker, Liz, was initially enraged at her wife Rhea for dying, leaving her with responsibilities, and not dying in a way she wanted. She was also angry at God, family, and friends. However, she eventually realized that her anger was a part of her grief and needed to be felt to fully experience her loss. Humor and lightness can also emerge during the grieving process, acting as a coping mechanism. The speaker shared an example of laughter among herself, Rhea's ex-wife, and ex-girlfriend during Rhea's dying days. The hospice nurse's perspective that "if you can't laugh at death, get out of show business" highlights the importance of finding levity even in the most difficult situations.
Finding humor and peace through writing: Writing can provide humor and inner peace, immersing oneself in the creative process can lead to mental quietude, and staying committed to passions can bring resilience.
Humor and writing serve as sources of resilience and inner peace in the face of life's challenges. The speaker shares an experience of finding humor even in the midst of grief and the importance of being fully committed to one's passion, such as writing. The speaker also highlights the paradoxical role of writing in achieving a state of mental quietude, or "wordless oneness," often associated with meditation. By immersing oneself in the creative process, one can temporarily silence the incessant chatter of the mind and find moments of serenity and connection to the world around them.
Creativity as a form of self-care and spiritual practice: Creativity can provide calm, stillness, and a sense of resilience through intuitive, natural abilities, offering comfort and insight during difficult times.
Creativity, particularly writing, can serve as a form of self-soothing and spiritual practice, providing a sense of calm and stillness that can be harder to find in other areas of life. This is because creativity allows us to tap into our intuitive, natural abilities, and can be a slower, gentler way to avoid the negative consequences often associated with other methods of numbing ourselves, such as substance use or workaholism. Great art, whether it's writing, poetry, or another form, has the power to surprise and be inevitable, leaving us feeling rearranged and unable to be the same. The poem "East Coker" by T.S. Eliot is an example of this, offering comfort and insight during difficult times by encouraging us to wait without hope or love for the wrong things. Creativity, then, can be a source of strength and resilience, helping us navigate the challenges of life and reminding us of the beauty and complexity of the human experience.
Finding meaning in stillness and darkness: Waiting without hope can lead to new perspectives and appreciation for life's beauty. Engage fully with life while maintaining a detached perspective.
Waiting without hope, love, or thought can lead to faith and new perspectives. The poet's words encourage us to find meaning in the darkness and stillness, and to appreciate the beauty of life even during difficult times. Another author, Walt Whitman, teaches us to engage fully with life while maintaining a detached perspective. And in fiction, Hillary Mantell's ability to transport readers into historical worlds with intimate detail is truly awe-inspiring. As a writer, the ability to blend readability with memorable sentences is a rare and valuable skill, as exemplified by Kurt Vonnegut and the speaker themselves. Ultimately, the arts serve as reminders that life is not just about paying bills and dying, but also about experiencing wonder, awe, and excitement.
The depths of human imagination compared to the universe: Recognizing the 'interestingness' of grief and the curiosity that drives us to live can help manage it. Use an index card system for effective organization in the writing process.
The human imagination is infinite and capable of creating new worlds and stories, making life an exciting and unending exploration. The speaker expresses admiration for authors who can weave such intricate prose, likening the depths of human imagination to the vastness of the universe. The speaker also shares how dealing with grief can be made more manageable by recognizing its "interestingness" and the curiosity that drives us to continue living and discovering new things. The speaker's research process, as an example, involves using an index card system to organize facts and information for writing, a method learned from a ninth-grade teacher. This simple yet effective method demonstrates the importance of both creativity and organization in the face of the infinite possibilities of human imagination.
Creating a 'book in a box' for research and inspiration: Using index cards for research and character details can help writers overcome writer's block and add depth to their stories, creating a connection with their future self.
The author uses extensive research and meticulous organization to enrich her writing process, creating a "book in a box" filled with index cards containing character details, historical facts, and other research findings. This system, which began as a research tool for her novel-writing, helps her overcome writer's block and adds depth to her stories. By treating her future self as a recipient of her present efforts, she creates a sense of connection and support across time. The author's approach demonstrates a balance between the egoic planning side of writing and the wordless, oneness aspect, with the former serving to support and enhance the latter.
The Writer's Creative Process and Marcus Aurelius' Philosophy: To create timeless works, embrace a servant's mindset, fully engage in life, and maintain a sense of detachment and perspective.
The creative process involves generating a large amount of material, with only a fifth making it into the final product. This requires a servant's mindset, where the writer sees themselves as a vessel for the ideas that come from an external source. The research process also requires humility and a sense of service to the ideas, which can be compared to the philosophy of Marcus Aurelius, who saw himself as a servant to the eternal questions of the human condition. Both the writer and Marcus Aurelius recognize the importance of being fully engaged in life while maintaining a sense of detachment and perspective. This approach allows for the creation of timeless works that resonate with readers.
Acknowledging Fears for Inner Wisdom: Recognizing and acknowledging fears leads to inner wisdom and resilience. Eastern philosophy calls this the karmic dilemma, and Stoics practice this through introspection. Martha Beck suggests inviting fear to express itself and making way for wisdom to guide.
Recognizing and acknowledging our fears and anxieties is an essential step towards finding inner wisdom and resilience. Eastern philosophy refers to this as the karmic dilemma, and Marcus Aurelius, a renowned Roman emperor and philosopher, practiced this through his introspective journals. Martha Beck, a life coach and writer, suggests a similar technique of inviting fear to express itself and then making way for wisdom to provide guidance. Both Marcus Aurelius and Martha Beck's teachings remind us that we are not just defined by our fears but also by our inner wisdom and grace. Additionally, both Stoic philosophy, which underpins cognitive behavioral therapy and Internal Family Systems (IFS), have roots in the ancient practice of acknowledging and addressing emotions to find inner peace and growth.
Living Authentically with Intuition and Trust: Check in every 30 minutes for truthfulness, navigate life with intuition, and step away from cultural and traumatic influences for authentic living
Martha, a woman who helped guide the speaker through a difficult time, taught the importance of trusting one's intuition and living authentically. She emphasized the need to step away from cultural and traumatic influences to truly listen to one's body. Martha's radical approach to life involved an "integrity cleanse," where she checked every 30 minutes to ensure she was being truthful in all interactions. This extreme honesty helped her navigate her own serious health issues and ultimately led her to live a more authentic life. The speaker was deeply moved by Martha's wild, intuitive nature and the transformative impact she had on their lives.
Embrace Bonfire Moments with Integrity and Courage: Making difficult decisions requires integrity and courage, especially in relationships. Embrace bonfire moments to live an authentic and fulfilling life.
Sometimes in life, we may face difficult decisions that require us to let go of our past and jump into the unknown. Martha Beck, an influential figure in the speaker's life, encourages us to embrace these "bonfire moments" with integrity and courage. This means being true to ourselves and respecting others, even when it's hard. When making decisions, especially regarding relationships, it's essential to check in with our integrity and prioritize our well-being. It's not an easy process, and the closer the relationship, the more challenging it can be. But as Martha Beck says, we may either find that the bonfire wasn't as scary as we thought, or we'll be incinerated and reborn anew. Ultimately, living with integrity and taking bold steps can lead to a fulfilling and authentic life.
Saying a simple 'no' is a powerful tool for managing time and energy: Saying a straightforward 'no' leaves no room for further argument or manipulation. Start with 'thank you' and use 'and' instead of 'but' when saying no to effectively manage your time and interactions.
Asserting your boundaries and saying a simple "no" without explanation can be a powerful tool for managing your time and energy. According to the speaker, this approach is effective even when dealing with manipulative individuals, as a straightforward "no" leaves no room for further argument or manipulation. The speaker learned this from her teacher Byron Katie, who is known for her ability to give honest and unapologetic yeses and nos. Byron Katie also emphasizes the importance of starting with "thank you" and using "and" instead of "but" when saying no. In essence, a simple "no" is a respectful and effective way to manage your time and interactions with others.
Learning to say 'no' with clarity and conviction: Effectively saying 'no' with reasons prevents misunderstandings and strengthens relationships. Trust your inner compass and body's reactions for better decisions.
Learning to say "no" with clarity and conviction, even to loved ones or in professional relationships, is essential for personal growth and maintaining healthy boundaries. The speaker's experience shows that providing specific reasons for declining requests can prevent misunderstandings and potential conflicts. Moreover, trusting your inner compass and body's reactions can lead to better decisions and stronger relationships. As Martha Beck puts it, our bodies hold ancient wisdom that has been honed by millions of years of evolution. Saying "no" can be a clarifying exercise that reveals the true character of people and situations.
Trusting our bodies' intuition: Our bodies have inherent wisdom that can guide us through life. Ignoring intuition can lead to poor decisions, but addiction clouds judgment and is not the same as intuition. Trusting intuition leads to better decisions and a more fulfilling life, while some find psychedelic experiences deepen the connection to intuition.
Our bodies, with their innate wisdom, are often overlooked and undervalued in favor of our minds. The mind, though a recent development in human evolution, can be flawed and prone to mistakes. Our bodies, on the other hand, have an inherent knowledge of what is right and wrong for us. This wisdom, often referred to as intuition, is a powerful tool that can guide us through life. However, many of us have been conditioned to ignore our intuition, especially those who have struggled with addiction. It's important to remember that intuition and addiction are not the same thing. Intuition is a reliable guide that can help us avoid disastrous decisions, while addiction is a disease that can cloud our judgment. By learning to trust our intuition, we can make better decisions and live more fulfilling lives. Additionally, some people find that psychedelic experiences can help deepen our connection to our intuition and expand our consciousness.
Profound insights and transformative moments from psychedelic experiences: Approach psychedelic experiences with caution, considering intent, accountability, and trusted guides. Benefits include profound insights, but risks include deception and potential harm.
Psychedelic experiences, such as those facilitated by ayahuasca, can provide profound insights and transformative moments. However, they also come with risks and uncertainties. The individual's intent and accountability are crucial in determining whether the experience leads to growth or escapism. The Western mindset can pose challenges when trying to fully embrace traditional spiritual practices. It's essential to approach these experiences with caution, considering the potential for deception and the importance of finding trusted guides. The decision to engage in psychedelic use is a personal one, and individuals should carefully consider their motivations and readiness before embarking on such a journey. The potential benefits are significant, but so are the risks.
Exploring creativity and self-discovery: The Artist's Way practices of morning pages and artist's dates help uncover hidden talents and desires, leading to personal growth and unexpected adventures.
Nurturing creativity and self-discovery can lead to unexpected but fulfilling experiences. The Artist's Way, a self-guided course created by Julia Cameron, is a valuable tool for recovering creativity from past traumas. Morning pages, a daily writing practice, and artist's dates, weekly solo outings, are key components of the Artist's Way. Through these practices, individuals can uncover hidden desires and talents, leading to new opportunities and personal growth. The mind often hides our deepest desires, and engaging in practices like the Artist's Way can help bring them to the surface. For instance, the speaker discovered her passion for learning Italian through her morning pages, which ultimately led her to travel to Italy and embark on a transformative journey. Overall, investing time and energy in creativity and self-exploration can lead to profound personal growth and unexpected adventures.
Exploring the unknown leads to personal growth: Embrace curiosity, try new experiences, and engage in artist dates to discover hidden passions and enrich your life.
Embracing curiosity and engaging in new experiences, no matter how seemingly insignificant, can lead to personal growth and enrichment. The Artist's Way Morning Pages and artist dates are effective tools for exploring the unknown and discovering hidden passions. As the speaker shared, her most memorable artist date was an adventure to discover the beginnings of the High Line in New York City before it was transformed into a pedestrian walkway. This experience was not tied to a specific project or goal, but rather a simple curiosity that led to a memorable and fulfilling day. The artist state, which involves fully engaging in creative pursuits, is also important for mental and spiritual health. City of Girls, the speaker's latest novel, showcases her versatility as a writer and highlights the importance of following one's passions, even if they don't have an immediate practical application.
Finding the Perfect Title for 'Eat, Pray, Love': Elizabeth Gilbert struggled to find a title for her book, enlisted friends for help, and ultimately found success with a friend's suggestion. The book explores themes of personal freedom, passion, and living without consequences.
Elizabeth Gilbert's journey to write "Eat, Pray, Love" was filled with uncertainty and the title was a major challenge. The book proposal closely matched the final product, but the title was the last thing she came up with after a long and laborious process. She had to enlist friends for help and ultimately, a friend suggested the title that became iconic. Despite the challenges, Gilbert's personal email proposal to her editor was successful, allowing her to embark on a year-long journey to find pleasure, meditation, and balance in Italy, India, and Bali. In the book, Gilbert explores the theme of leading a free and open sexual life as a woman without suffering consequences, challenging the trope of the ruined woman in literature. She wanted to tell a different story, one where a woman makes a choice based on passion and doesn't face dire consequences.
Recognizing and Celebrating Women's Resilience: Women possess the strength to survive and thrive despite societal pressures and expectations, as shown in the character Vivian Morris. Self-acceptance and rejecting societal norms are key to overcoming challenges.
The importance of recognizing and celebrating the resilience of women, as portrayed in the character Vivian Morris from Nancy Meyers' book "City of Girls." Despite societal pressures and expectations, women have the capacity to survive and thrive, even when faced with challenges and consequences related to their sexuality. The author emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and not being defined by societal norms or expectations of being a "good girl." Additionally, readers may be surprised to find that they interpret and remember elements of a book differently than intended, highlighting the subjective nature of reading experiences. The author encourages readers to pay attention to the full scope of the book, beyond its marketing or initial impressions.
Exploring the theme of female friendship and chosen families: The importance of deep connections with women and self-compassion for mental and spiritual well-being
The book "The God of Small Things" explores the theme of female friendship and the importance of chosen families over biological ones. The protagonist, Vivian, leaves behind her culture and trauma to find herself and forms deep connections with women who shape her into the person she becomes. The author emphasizes the significance of these relationships in her own life and encourages the practice of universal human compassion, starting with self-mercy. Mercy, she believes, is crucial for mental and spiritual well-being and requires accepting life as it is, with all its difficulties and imperfections. The author's personal experience with mercy and the importance of self-compassion inspires her to remind listeners that true compassion extends to oneself as well.
The importance of self-mercy and compassion for universal kindness: By practicing self-mercy and compassion towards ourselves, we can extend the same kindness to others, creating a more compassionate world.
Practicing self-mercy and compassion is essential for universal human compassion and kindness towards others. Author and speaker Elizabeth Gilbert emphasizes that the hardest person to show mercy to is oneself. By learning to be gentle and gracious towards ourselves, we can extend that same kindness to others, including those who may be difficult to handle. George Saunders, a practicing Buddhist and writer, also shares this perspective, viewing challenging individuals as "me on a different day." Mercy and compassion towards ourselves are crucial for creating a more compassionate world. Gilbert's work, including her latest novel "City of Girls," shares important messages about self-care and the power of kindness. To receive a weekly dose of inspiration and recommendations, sign up for Five Bullet Fridays at fourhourworkweek.com. This episode is brought to you by Athletic Greens, an all-in-one nutritional insurance supplement.
Exclusive deals and savings from Athletic Greens and Thrive Market: New customers at Athletic Greens get a free $79 travel pack and Thrive Market saves customers an average of $30 per order with membership, offering up to 50% off retail prices.
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