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    #467 BITESIZE | 3 Ways We Self-Sabotage and How to Stop | Dr Ramani Durvasula

    enJuly 04, 2024

    Podcast Summary

    • Perfectionism and Social ComparisonFocusing on personal values, self-compassion, and accepting imperfection can improve wellbeing and break the cycle of dissatisfaction caused by perfectionism and social comparison.

      Striving for perfectionism and constantly comparing ourselves to others can be detrimental to our wellbeing and lead to self-sabotage. Perfectionism sets an unattainable standard, leading to exhaustion and a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction. Social comparison, fueled by societal expectations, can create an unhealthy focus on external standards rather than internal values. To overcome these challenges, Dr. Romani Diversola suggests focusing on living in alignment with our personal values, practicing self-compassion, and recognizing that imperfection is a natural part of life. AG1, a nutrient-dense whole food supplement, can support overall health and wellbeing, providing essential vitamins, minerals, probiotics, prebiotics, and digestive enzymes. To help get started, AG1 is offering a special offer to Feel Better Live More listeners: a free one-year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first order. Visit drinkagone.com/livemore for more information.

    • PerfectionismPerfectionism can hinder progress by causing anxiety and preventing action. Practice tolerating discomfort and imperfection to build resilience and make progress.

      Perfectionism can hinder our ability to stay present and engage in meaningful actions towards our goals, leading to self-sabotage. It's easy to get caught up in researching the best gear or the perfect workout plan, rather than just starting with small, manageable steps. This can cause anxiety and prevent us from making progress. To overcome perfectionism, it's important to practice tolerating discomfort and imperfection. One approach is using exposure therapy techniques, such as deliberately putting ourselves in imperfect situations and learning to accept the resulting feelings. This can help us build resilience and make progress towards our goals, rather than being held back by the pursuit of unattainable ideals.

    • Embracing Imperfection, DiscomfortExposing ourselves to discomfort and imperfection can lead to personal growth and the realization that nothing terrible will happen, even for individuals with OCD during exposure therapy. Remembering that everyone experiences discomfort and learning to tolerate it can lead to resilience and growth.

      Exposing ourselves to discomfort and imperfection, even during anxious moments, can lead to personal growth and the realization that nothing terrible will happen. This concept is particularly relevant for individuals with OCD, who engage in exposure therapy to face their fears without performing compulsive behaviors. The experience may be uncomfortable, but the understanding that the world won't come crashing down when things don't go perfectly is a valuable lesson. Moreover, in a world where people often present idealized versions of their lives, it's essential to remember that everyone experiences discomfort and imperfection. Hearing the truth from others can provide perspective and help us tolerate our own discomfort more effectively. Ultimately, embracing imperfection and learning to tolerate discomfort can lead to resilience and growth.

    • Imperfections and vulnerabilityEmbracing our imperfections and sharing vulnerabilities can foster authentic connections and self-compassion, while challenging the dangerous trope of the perfect therapist or seemingly put-together individuals.

      Transparency about our imperfections and struggles is essential for building authentic connections and fostering self-compassion. The idea of the perfect therapist or seemingly put-together individuals being idolized is a dangerous trope that can lead to feelings of inadequacy and isolation. Sharing our vulnerabilities and recognizing that nobody truly has it all together can humanize our experiences and create a sense of common humanity. Social media often reinforces this false perception, but it's crucial to remember that everyone faces challenges and struggles, no matter how polished their exterior may appear. By embracing our imperfections and being open about our experiences, we can help normalize vulnerability and create a more compassionate and connected world.

    • Social media comparisonSocial media intensifies social comparison, leading to increased feelings of inadequacy and perfectionism, potentially harming self-esteem and overall well-being

      Social media has intensified the issue of social comparison, leading to increased feelings of inadequacy and perfectionism in individuals. Before social media, people compared themselves to those in their immediate circles, but now, with the access to countless curated lives online, the comparison becomes more frequent and unrealistic. This can negatively impact self-esteem and overall well-being. The therapist in the discussion emphasizes that everyone has their struggles and imperfections, and it's essential to remember that social media often presents a skewed perspective. Comparing oneself to others on social media can lead to an unhealthy obsession with perfection, which was a problem before social media but has worsened significantly since. It's crucial to recognize the potential harm of social comparison on social media and strive for self-compassion and understanding that everyone, including ourselves, has flaws and challenges.

    • Social comparisonExcessive social comparison can distort reality, cause anxiety, and lead to self-sabotage. Focus on defining your own version of success and happiness.

      Excessive social comparison can lead to self-sabotage and anxiety. When we compare ourselves to others, especially those we perceive as similar to us, we can distort our perception of reality and live in service to external expectations. This can result in feelings of failure and the belief that we don't measure up. The problem is magnified in today's digital age, where social media allows us to compare ourselves to people all over the world. It's important to remember that everyone's situation is unique, and what works for one family may not work for another. The ability to separate our self-identity from external demands and focus on what works best for us and our families is a tall order, but essential for avoiding self-sabotage and living authentically. Instead of trying to live up to the world's expectations, we should strive to define our own version of success and happiness.

    • Comparison TrapConstantly comparing ourselves to others can lead to distress and loss of valuable time. Focus on personal identity and values instead for authentic and fulfilling life.

      Constantly comparing ourselves to others, often fueled by social media, can lead to a significant loss of valuable restorative time and cause distress. Instead of focusing on external validation, it's essential to take time each day to reflect on our personal identity and values. By asking ourselves simple yet powerful questions like "Who am I?" and "What matters to me?", we can gain clarity on our priorities and ultimately, live more authentic and fulfilling lives. It's not about striving for the extraordinary or ordinary; it's about understanding what makes us unique individuals. So, the next time you find yourself falling into the comparison trap, take a moment to reflect on your personal values and remember that true happiness comes from within.

    • Professional AuthenticityReflect on personal goals and values instead of comparing yourself to others, live in alignment with your authentic self, and prioritize what truly matters.

      It's essential to reflect on who you are and what you're about in your professional life, rather than getting pulled into comparing yourself to others and trying to conform to external expectations. The speaker shares her personal experience of feeling anxious about being told she wasn't doing enough, but after some introspection, she realized she was already doing what she had set out to do. While it's natural to want more money or notoriety, it's crucial to consider whether those things align with your personal goals and values. By focusing on your unique path, you can create a sense of distance from social media and comparisons, allowing you to feel content with your choices and even support others in theirs. The speaker also suggests practicing guided imagery to help clarify your goals and intentions. Ultimately, the key is to live in alignment with your authentic self and prioritize what truly matters to you.

    • Life prioritiesReflect on personal values and become your own reference point to make decisions aligned with them, rather than being overly focused on external factors.

      It's essential to reflect on our priorities and what truly matters to us in life, rather than being overly focused on external factors such as notoriety or material possessions. By asking ourselves what we're about and becoming our own reference point, we can gain a clearer perspective and make decisions that align with our values. Additionally, engaging in mental exercises like this can help us navigate social media and other external influences in a healthier way. To receive weekly doses of positivity and inspiration, sign up for DrChasci.com/Friday5.

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    Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/466

    DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.



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    #467 BITESIZE | 3 Ways We Self-Sabotage and How to Stop | Dr Ramani Durvasula

    #467 BITESIZE | 3 Ways We Self-Sabotage and How to Stop | Dr Ramani Durvasula

    We often seem to be our own worst enemies and there are some common ways that many of us self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is a spectrum of feelings, beliefs, and behaviours, but they all set us up to fail.


    Feel Better Live More Bitesize is my weekly podcast for your mind, body, and heart. Each week I’ll be featuring inspirational stories and practical tips from some of my former guests.


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    Thanks to our sponsor https://www.drinkag1.com/livemore


    Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com.


    Show notes and the full podcast are available at drchatterjee.com/332


    DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.



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    Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/466

    DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.



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    Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/464


    DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


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    Thanks to our sponsor https://www.drinkag1.com/livemore


    Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com.


    Show notes and the full podcast are available at drchatterjee.com/260


    DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


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    Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com.

    Buy tickets for my stage tour https://drchatterjee.com/tour


    Thanks to our sponsors:

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    Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/462

    DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.




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    #461 BITESIZE | 3 Simple Habits to Manage Stress and Build Resilience | Dr Tara Swart

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    Thanks to our sponsor https://www.drinkag1.com/livemore


    Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com.


    Show notes and the full podcast are available at drchatterjee.com/416


    DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.



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    #460 Finding Your Purpose at Any Age: Life Lessons from 103-Year-Old Dr Gladys McGarey

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    We explore how to avoid living with regrets, the importance of parents truly listening to and supporting their children and finding your unique purpose that ‘feeds your soul’. We also look at how we can bring a more positive attitude to negative experiences and how Gladys lives by what she calls her "5 Ls" - life, love, laughter, labour and listening.

    Still thriving at 103, she embodies staying curious, adaptable and active. During our conversation, she shares her views on ageing, believing in ‘ageing into health’ rather than ‘anti-ageing.’ She also stresses the importance of doctors listening to - and loving - their patients but that it’s ultimately us who are responsible for our own healing.

    Gladys’s century of life experiences has something to offer everyone. Her wisdom will inspire you to reflect on your own purpose, face life's challenges with resilience and make the most of the years ahead.

    It was an honour to speak to Gladys again and have such a deep and honest conversation with her. I hope you enjoy listening to her as much as I did. Her playfulness, humour, and can-do attitude remind us that it's never too late to learn, grow and make a positive impact on the world around us. 

    Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com.

    Thanks to our sponsors:

    https://vivobarefoot.com/livemore

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    Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/460

    DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.



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    #459 BITESIZE | A Monk’s Guide To Happiness & How To Thrive in Hard Times | Gelong Thubten

    #459 BITESIZE | A Monk’s Guide To Happiness & How To Thrive in Hard Times | Gelong Thubten

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    In this clip he explains that when we distract ourselves by scrolling, overeating, or drinking for example, we’re pushing away emotional pain or discomfort – even if we may not realise it. But the discomfort is really in the pushing. If we can learn instead to sit with what’s making us uncomfortable, those emotions start to transform.


    Thanks to our sponsor https://www.drinkag1.com/livemore


    Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com.


    Show notes and the full podcast are available at drchatterjee.com/387


    DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.