#51 The Exchange Principle

Another Reddit Story/Question. What was dating in recovery like for you?

Another Reddit Story for you. This one is AITA for refusing to forgive my drug addict BIL. 

I share my perspective on how to cope with a loved one's addiction, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries.

What happens when mothers and daughters have to “adult” together? In this episode, My mom, Lynn Carnes and myself, along with another mother Christine Dickson and her daughter Lauren Martinson got together and talked about the challenges, the experiences, the memories, and some hard conversations we've experienced and how we navigated them, as well as the healing journey we've taken to mend, repair, grow, and thrive in our relationship with one another.

We did something different with this podcast and invited people to listen in LIVE. So we put together a 2 hour event to really be able to dive deep into this conversation. 

Are you willing to dive into some of the things that are coming up for you in order to be the support person that your loved one needs?

Caroline Holke works with Type A, high performing women who drink more than they intend to sometimes. It wouldn't be classified as a drinking problem, but they have a problem with using it as a crutch and want to get their control back. 

They hire her to get rid of the shitty parts of drinking (and this doesn't necessarily mean all drinking) and this enables them to build a life that they enjoy so much that they don't want to numb out of it. 

Most people focus on what to DO to cut back on their drinking, Caroline helps her clients tease out what is "driving them to drink" in the first place. Addressing these underlying, root causes helps her clients create sustainable change in their relationship with drinking.

Chelsea is a Narcotics Unit Paralegal Specialist with the U.S. Attorney's Office for the Eastern District of Virginia, and a member of Silent No More. Addiction has rattled just about every one of her family members, ultimately claiming the lives of her two oldest brothers Steven and Scott. Steven passed away from a heroin overdose in 2009 and Scott passed away from an overdose attributed to a mixture of Fentanyl and a new synthetic opioid called Isotonitrazene. Her stepdad passed away from cirrhosis of the liver caused by his decades long alcohol addiction. Chelsea's birth mother has been an addict for years, falling victim to heroin, crack, and other drugs. 

Her youngest brother has been on opiates since he was about 13 or 14 and is now 30. She wants to share her story and have these uncomfortable conversations to end the stigma associated with addiction.   Chelsea wants to keep Steven and Scott's stories alive, and she wants to be an example that your circumstances today do not warrant your path tomorrow. She wants her story to spread hope to those personally battling addiction and those affected by watching their loved one’s battle addiction. Together, we can fight this.

Topics:

• The power of sharing from the heart and the power of stories.
• What was the turning point in your life?
• My mom’s overdose in front of me.
• Was there a significant change in the way you saw your mom in that moment?
• Growing up in foster care and the military 
• Why did you never go down the drug abuse road?
• Never felt the need to escape from addiction.
• Bobby’s brother dies from addiction.
• You have a choice to see the negative or the positive in life.
• Mental health isn’t going to get fixed overnight.

Michel has lived through absolute hell and can smile on the other side of the abyss.

Her life's work is to facilitate healing and to guide people back to the knowingness of their own inner strength and to not just survive, but to live their lives fully.

Outline:

• What does it mean to live in absolute hell?
• At the time that you are experiencing this, what were some of the beliefs that you had about your life and why?
• The day she met her son’s father.
• Looking at the problem from different angles and different ways.
• What were some of the layers that came up when she was looking at it from different angles?
• What is body talk? What does it mean?
• What is EMDR? How does it work?
• Six sessions is a good time to feel like you’re getting a sense of who you are working with.

Website: https://www.bodytalkwithmichel.com/

Email: Michel@bodytalkwithmichel.com

Tanya D. is a Certified meditation instructor (C.MI™), Usui/Holy Fire® III Karuna Reiki® Master, Sound Vibrational Reiki Healing Practitioner, Animal Reiki practitioner, Certified spiritual life coach, and Yoga4Sobriety Teacher Ambassador / Student Liason.

She uses her experience, strength, hope, intuition, and teacher trainings to help people find peace and serenity in recovery from addiction. 

In recovery herself, she offers a unique holistic approach to finding freedom in recovery through trauma-sensitive chakra/12-step focused meditation, chakra energy healing, and spiritual life coaching.

Know Hope North Carolina's mission is to remember those we have lost, support those in recovery and give hope to those still struggling.  Create memorial banner and billboards with faces of those lost to addiction in NC.  Refer clients to detox and treatment centers.  Facilitate grief groups.

Outline of Podcast Topics
·      The power of creating a space to honor your feelings in a safe way. 8:17

·      Grief doesn’t always have to be a direct result of a loss. 15:24

·      Don’t go down the road of “enabling”. 21:53

·      “They weren’t my answers to find.”. 24:11

·      What are some of the regrets that you have? 33:40

·      Life goes on, we don’t move on. 37:07

·      Don’t quit! Find your something! 43:11

·      What would you tell your loved ones that are still going through this?

 Website: https://www.knowhopenorthcarolina.com/

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/4283060278435570