Honesty is a character quality we look for in others, but do we actually scrutinize ourselves for honesty in the same way? How honest are we with ourselves, when it comes to being honest? Join Julie Harwick as she dives into this subject.
****
Welcome to Women World Leaders podcast. I’m your host, Julie Harwick. Thank you for joining me today as we celebrate God’s grace in our lives, in this ministry and around the world.
A mom questions her 3-year-old who’s mouth is ringed with blue dye. “You’re telling me you didn’t have any candy today?” “I haven’t,” he answers sweetly shaking his head. “You can have one more time to tell me the truth,” she warns. “Really, I haven’t,” he responds as if he can’t imagine why she would ask such a thing. “Then what is all over your face," she asks. With a growing realization he says, as he attempts to look truly puzzled, “Oh, blue?”…”Well…. I forgot that I ate that.”
It’s hard not to chuckle at this type of lying because it’s just further evidence that 3-year-olds are not as smart as they think they are. And they’re still in the process of learning that telling lies is not the way to get out of a sticky situation. But 3-year-olds grow up and unfortunately, lying often continues to be a part of their lives. We were all 3 once and our parents probably took lying very seriously and tried to teach us that it was wrong, but that doesn’t mean we never do it.
While we might not be guilty of telling such a blatant lie as the 3-year-old, we may very well be guilty of misrepresenting, misleading, saying what someone wants to hear whether we actually believe it or not or exaggerating. If you’re not guilty of any of those yourself, you probably know someone who is. It’s not “technically” a lie, but it’s likely to cause the hearer to arrive at a slightly different conclusion than what is the actual truth. And generally, the motive for doing it is to manipulate a desired outcome.
Sometimes, what is not said falls into this category. Many years ago, I had a co-worker who seemed to believe that she was in competition with me and needed to make our employer question my value. She was definitely within earshot when a supervisor asked me to leave the office to get some paperwork he needed. Later, when the owner asked her where I was, she answered, “She didn’t tell me where she was going.” That was a true statement. I hadn’t specifically told her where I was going, but there was no question that she knew. The way she answered made him believe that I had left without letting anyone know and that she didn’t know where I went. The information she gave him accomplished her intent of making me look irresponsible because he had a wrong impression of the situation.
Have you ever confronted an older child about some item around the house being broken and gotten a vague response like, ”I haven’t used it”? In the back of your mind you’re wondering if they’re saying under their breath, “today.” The response might be technically true, but they certainly have more information that is relevant to the question, but it’s not in their best interest to share that. As kids get older, they get a little craftier at getting out of things they don’t want to do without actually telling a lie. “I would do my chores now, but I have a test to study for.” They may very well have a test to study for, but they have no intention of spending all their remaining waking hours studying for it. I once knew a boy who didn’t like to take a shower. He would turn on the shower, retrieve a book he had stashed in the bathroom cabinet and read for 15 minutes. Then he’d wet the washcloth and wipe it across the top of his head so his hair was wet and use it to dampen a towel. If he was specifically questioned about taking a shower, he would say that he had, because days earlier, he actually had. There are all kinds of get-arounds that can enable us to have our own way without drawing attention to what we’re carefully hiding.
Unfortunately, our problems with absolute honesty don’t go away as we age. We just get better at hiding it from others…and even ourselves. Sometimes carelessness is involved but it doesn’t really excuse our behavior. How often have you ended a conversation with someone who’s just shared a burden or concern with you and you threw out an, “I’ll be praying for you.” But do you really mean that, or will you get distracted by a million other concerns and never once remember to pray as you said you would? We say it with good intentions – praying for someone is good, but if there’s no follow through, why say it at all? Do we say it because it’s uncomfortable not to, because it just seems like the right thing to say? Maybe we should take more care to never promise to pray for someone unless we are certain that we actually will. Saying things out of habit or just because we don’t know what else to say can lead to dishonesty too. Have you ever greeted the pastor on a Sunday morning after church with an “I really enjoyed your message,” when in fact, you can’t even recall what it was about? If you actually did enjoy or appreciate it, by all means, be sure to say so, but giving compliments by rote is meaningless and doesn’t create the desired outcome. This is a particular pet peeve of mine. I’ve known someone in leadership at church who is always brimming with superlatives, “That was the best worship ever! That was the best Christmas Eve production ever! You did such a great job with”…you get the picture. I know his intention is to be encouraging, but the lack of authenticity is actually demotivating to me. I can’t really take any praise from him as legitimate because he tosses it around so casually.
Another technique I’ve noticed and may have used a time or two myself is exaggeration. “I wish I could come to your baby shower, but unfortunately my son has lacrosse that day (nevermind that it will end hours before the shower) and I’m going out of town for a week and have so much to do to get ready for it. The more difficulties or concerns you can pile on the list, the better, or so it seems. The truth is that if you wanted to go, lacrosse and the trip wouldn’t stop you. But since you don’t want to go, making them seem like a much bigger obstacle than they actually are is a convenient workaround. While it would be unkind to simply respond with an, “I don’t want to because baby showers are boring.” I could be more honest, but not unkind, by saying, “I won’t be there, but I hope you have a really wonderful time!” Most people will accept that without requiring details, if you are pressed for a reason, you might say, “I have some other things that require my attention.”
I understand that we’re getting into some difficult territory here and I certainly have been guilty of exaggerating some facts to provide a way of escape from something I don’t want to do. So how do we walk the line between brutal, hurtful truths and respectful and kind honesty? Probably the first question we should ask ourselves is “what would Jesus do?”
One of the first things that comes to mind when I think of Jesus and the truth is that He is truth. “I am the way, the truth and the life,” He says in John 14:6. Earlier in John 8:32 He also emphasized the fact that He is truth when He said, “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” Jesus and truth are inseparable, so if we want to know and serve Him, truth needs to be high on our list of priorities. Jesus made it pretty clear that He had real problems with deception. We see it particularly in the way He viewed the Pharisees. He referred to them as whitewashed sepulchers full of dead men’s bones, or in other words, they looked great on the outside, but their insides were detestable. He made a point of saying that we should be what we present to those around us with no attempt to deceive. He called out those same Pharisees for taking oaths and swearing by heaven or their own heads to convince others of their sincerity, when it was, in fact, lacking. In Matthew 5:37 He said, “Let your “no” be no and your “yes,” be yes. Anything beyond this is evil.” A modern paraphrase might be, “say what you mean and mean what you say.”
That’s a tall order in our culture. We have become masters at “spinning” situations to appear as something other than what they are. A common text abbreviation is TBH – to be honest. I see it on social media all the time. When I see it, it makes me question, ”does this mean that rather than your usual lies, you’ve opted to tell me the truth this time?”
As humans, we have a long history of lying…to God, ourselves and each other. It started with Satan, lying to Eve about God holding out on her. When Satan asked Eve, “did God really say not to eat from this tree?” she embellished the command and added her own, saying, “we can’t even touch it!” When God confronted Adam about eating from the tree, he tried to make it sound like Eve just gave it to him without telling him where she got it.
That’s probably why the bible has so much to say about honesty – because humans have a real problem with it. In Proverbs 6 God lists 7 things that are detestable to Him and 3 of the 7 are related to honesty. He hates a lying tongue, a heart that devises wicked schemes and a false witness who pours out lies. In 2 Corinthians 4 the Apostle Paul says, “We do not use deception, nor do we distort the Word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.” The Apostle Peter echoes the sentiment in 1 Peter 3:10 saying, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.”
Truthfulness in God’s sight is a high bar and I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always measure up. He knew we would struggle with this and addressed it in Ephesians 4. He describes how He equips His people for service, so that the Body of Christ can be built up. He points out that it’s all a part of growing into maturity and that as we do mature, we won’t be controlled by false teaching and the craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming, but instead, we will speak the truth in love as we become the mature Body of Christ. Speaking the truth in love is an important caveat when we’re talking about honesty. Truth and love also need to go hand in hand. We won’t hide the truth from those we truly love, but we also won’t wield it as a sword with no thought of the damage it can do. When a child presents you with a flower he’s picked for you from a nearby weed, you could say, “that’s just a weed.” That is the truth, but it wouldn’t show much love. Instead, you could say, “that’s beautiful, thank you.” It may only be a weed, but if you look at it through his eyes, it is beautiful.
Speak the truth in love. It sounds so simple, but we know it’s not. James said in chapter 3 of his letter that anyone who was never at fault in what they said, was perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. While we know we’ll never be perfect this side of heaven, with some extra attention on truthfulness and by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can become more like Jesus in everything we say.
Thanks for listening to Women World Leaders podcast! Join us each week as we explore together God’s extravagant love and your courageous purpose. Visit our website at www.womenworldleaders.com to submit a prayer request, register for an upcoming event, and support the ministry. From His heart to yours, we are Women World Leaders . All content is copyrighted by Women World Leaders and cannot be used without written consent.
Honesty is a character quality we look for in others, but do we actually scrutinize ourselves for honesty in the same way? How honest are we with ourselves, when it comes to being honest? Join Julie Harwick as she dives into this subject.
****
Welcome to Women World Leaders podcast. I’m your host, Julie Harwick. Thank you for joining me today as we celebrate God’s grace in our lives, in this ministry and around the world.
A mom questions her 3-year-old who’s mouth is ringed with blue dye. “You’re telling me you didn’t have any candy today?” “I haven’t,” he answers sweetly shaking his head. “You can have one more time to tell me the truth,” she warns. “Really, I haven’t,” he responds as if he can’t imagine why she would ask such a thing. “Then what is all over your face," she asks. With a growing realization he says, as he attempts to look truly puzzled, “Oh, blue?”…”Well…. I forgot that I ate that.”
It’s hard not to chuckle at this type of lying because it’s just further evidence that 3-year-olds are not as smart as they think they are. And they’re still in the process of learning that telling lies is not the way to get out of a sticky situation. But 3-year-olds grow up and unfortunately, lying often continues to be a part of their lives. We were all 3 once and our parents probably took lying very seriously and tried to teach us that it was wrong, but that doesn’t mean we never do it.
While we might not be guilty of telling such a blatant lie as the 3-year-old, we may very well be guilty of misrepresenting, misleading, saying what someone wants to hear whether we actually believe it or not or exaggerating. If you’re not guilty of any of those yourself, you probably know someone who is. It’s not “technically” a lie, but it’s likely to cause the hearer to arrive at a slightly different conclusion than what is the actual truth. And generally, the motive for doing it is to manipulate a desired outcome.
Sometimes, what is not said falls into this category. Many years ago, I had a co-worker who seemed to believe that she was in competition with me and needed to make our employer question my value. She was definitely within earshot when a supervisor asked me to leave the office to get some paperwork he needed. Later, when the owner asked her where I was, she answered, “She didn’t tell me where she was going.” That was a true statement. I hadn’t specifically told her where I was going, but there was no question that she knew. The way she answered made him believe that I had left without letting anyone know and that she didn’t know where I went. The information she gave him accomplished her intent of making me look irresponsible because he had a wrong impression of the situation.
Have you ever confronted an older child about some item around the house being broken and gotten a vague response like, ”I haven’t used it”? In the back of your mind you’re wondering if they’re saying under their breath, “today.” The response might be technically true, but they certainly have more information that is relevant to the question, but it’s not in their best interest to share that. As kids get older, they get a little craftier at getting out of things they don’t want to do without actually telling a lie. “I would do my chores now, but I have a test to study for.” They may very well have a test to study for, but they have no intention of spending all their remaining waking hours studying for it. I once knew a boy who didn’t like to take a shower. He would turn on the shower, retrieve a book he had stashed in the bathroom cabinet and read for 15 minutes. Then he’d wet the washcloth and wipe it across the top of his head so his hair was wet and use it to dampen a towel. If he was specifically questioned about taking a shower, he would say that he had, because days earlier, he actually had. There are all kinds of get-arounds that can enable us to have our own way without drawing attention to what we’re carefully hiding.
Unfortunately, our problems with absolute honesty don’t go away as we age. We just get better at hiding it from others…and even ourselves. Sometimes carelessness is involved but it doesn’t really excuse our behavior. How often have you ended a conversation with someone who’s just shared a burden or concern with you and you threw out an, “I’ll be praying for you.” But do you really mean that, or will you get distracted by a million other concerns and never once remember to pray as you said you would? We say it with good intentions – praying for someone is good, but if there’s no follow through, why say it at all? Do we say it because it’s uncomfortable not to, because it just seems like the right thing to say? Maybe we should take more care to never promise to pray for someone unless we are certain that we actually will. Saying things out of habit or just because we don’t know what else to say can lead to dishonesty too. Have you ever greeted the pastor on a Sunday morning after church with an “I really enjoyed your message,” when in fact, you can’t even recall what it was about? If you actually did enjoy or appreciate it, by all means, be sure to say so, but giving compliments by rote is meaningless and doesn’t create the desired outcome. This is a particular pet peeve of mine. I’ve known someone in leadership at church who is always brimming with superlatives, “That was the best worship ever! That was the best Christmas Eve production ever! You did such a great job with”…you get the picture. I know his intention is to be encouraging, but the lack of authenticity is actually demotivating to me. I can’t really take any praise from him as legitimate because he tosses it around so casually.
Another technique I’ve noticed and may have used a time or two myself is exaggeration. “I wish I could come to your baby shower, but unfortunately my son has lacrosse that day (nevermind that it will end hours before the shower) and I’m going out of town for a week and have so much to do to get ready for it. The more difficulties or concerns you can pile on the list, the better, or so it seems. The truth is that if you wanted to go, lacrosse and the trip wouldn’t stop you. But since you don’t want to go, making them seem like a much bigger obstacle than they actually are is a convenient workaround. While it would be unkind to simply respond with an, “I don’t want to because baby showers are boring.” I could be more honest, but not unkind, by saying, “I won’t be there, but I hope you have a really wonderful time!” Most people will accept that without requiring details, if you are pressed for a reason, you might say, “I have some other things that require my attention.”
I understand that we’re getting into some difficult territory here and I certainly have been guilty of exaggerating some facts to provide a way of escape from something I don’t want to do. So how do we walk the line between brutal, hurtful truths and respectful and kind honesty? Probably the first question we should ask ourselves is “what would Jesus do?”
One of the first things that comes to mind when I think of Jesus and the truth is that He is truth. “I am the way, the truth and the life,” He says in John 14:6. Earlier in John 8:32 He also emphasized the fact that He is truth when He said, “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” Jesus and truth are inseparable, so if we want to know and serve Him, truth needs to be high on our list of priorities. Jesus made it pretty clear that He had real problems with deception. We see it particularly in the way He viewed the Pharisees. He referred to them as whitewashed sepulchers full of dead men’s bones, or in other words, they looked great on the outside, but their insides were detestable. He made a point of saying that we should be what we present to those around us with no attempt to deceive. He called out those same Pharisees for taking oaths and swearing by heaven or their own heads to convince others of their sincerity, when it was, in fact, lacking. In Matthew 5:37 He said, “Let your “no” be no and your “yes,” be yes. Anything beyond this is evil.” A modern paraphrase might be, “say what you mean and mean what you say.”
That’s a tall order in our culture. We have become masters at “spinning” situations to appear as something other than what they are. A common text abbreviation is TBH – to be honest. I see it on social media all the time. When I see it, it makes me question, ”does this mean that rather than your usual lies, you’ve opted to tell me the truth this time?”
As humans, we have a long history of lying…to God, ourselves and each other. It started with Satan, lying to Eve about God holding out on her. When Satan asked Eve, “did God really say not to eat from this tree?” she embellished the command and added her own, saying, “we can’t even touch it!” When God confronted Adam about eating from the tree, he tried to make it sound like Eve just gave it to him without telling him where she got it.
That’s probably why the bible has so much to say about honesty – because humans have a real problem with it. In Proverbs 6 God lists 7 things that are detestable to Him and 3 of the 7 are related to honesty. He hates a lying tongue, a heart that devises wicked schemes and a false witness who pours out lies. In 2 Corinthians 4 the Apostle Paul says, “We do not use deception, nor do we distort the Word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.” The Apostle Peter echoes the sentiment in 1 Peter 3:10 saying, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.”
Truthfulness in God’s sight is a high bar and I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always measure up. He knew we would struggle with this and addressed it in Ephesians 4. He describes how He equips His people for service, so that the Body of Christ can be built up. He points out that it’s all a part of growing into maturity and that as we do mature, we won’t be controlled by false teaching and the craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming, but instead, we will speak the truth in love as we become the mature Body of Christ. Speaking the truth in love is an important caveat when we’re talking about honesty. Truth and love also need to go hand in hand. We won’t hide the truth from those we truly love, but we also won’t wield it as a sword with no thought of the damage it can do. When a child presents you with a flower he’s picked for you from a nearby weed, you could say, “that’s just a weed.” That is the truth, but it wouldn’t show much love. Instead, you could say, “that’s beautiful, thank you.” It may only be a weed, but if you look at it through his eyes, it is beautiful.
Speak the truth in love. It sounds so simple, but we know it’s not. James said in chapter 3 of his letter that anyone who was never at fault in what they said, was perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. While we know we’ll never be perfect this side of heaven, with some extra attention on truthfulness and by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can become more like Jesus in everything we say.
Thanks for listening to Women World Leaders podcast! Join us each week as we explore together God’s extravagant love and your courageous purpose. Visit our website at www.womenworldleaders.com to submit a prayer request, register for an upcoming event, and support the ministry. From His heart to yours, we are Women World Leaders . All content is copyrighted by Women World Leaders and cannot be used without written consent.
God has a calling for you, and it is better than you can ask or imagine. Will you answer in joy, trusting His wisdom and provision? Join Julie Jenkins as we study together Jesus’ response to the rich, young man as told in Matthew 19:16-30, Mark 10:17-31, and Luke 18:18-30.
****
Thank you for joining for the Women World Leaders podcast! My name is Julie Jenkins, and I have the honor of walking through the Bible with you today as we study scripture and ask God to tell us what He wants us to know!
If you are new to Women World Leaders, we are so glad you have joined us! We are a group of women on mission to share the gospel as we empower each other to walk in our God-given purpose. If you are a Christ-follower, you are called to be a leader for Christ! God has gifted YOU with amazing talents and gifts, and we want to help you discover and use those gifts. So if you enjoy writing, music, art, teaching, encouraging others, or organizing databases, we have a place for you to grow, serve, and thrive. And if you aren’t sure HOW you want to serve, that’s okay – we are excited to meet you where you are! Each month, we host a Leadership Connect Zoom call that is open to the public. On the third Monday of each month at 7 pm et, we have a great time getting to know each other, finding out what is happening in the ministry, and learning different ways to serve others and grow in our leadership skills from a guest speaker. We would LOVE you to join us! To get the Zoom link, simply visit womenworldleaders.com and fill out our connect form so we can email you all the details! If you have any questions about the ministry, feel free to email us at info@womenworldleaders.com, and if you have a prayer request, email us at prayer@womenworldleaders.com.
The scripture we are going to dive into today is the story of Jesus talking to the rich young man. Three of the gospel writers give us their take on what happened that day, so we will be studying Matthew 19:16-30, Mark 10:17-31, and Luke 18:18-30. Before we begin, let’s pray…
Dear Most Holy God…we are honored to come to you today and we ask you to guide us as we open your Word. Father, thank you for providing us with your written instructions and for sending your Holy Spirit to help us understand all you want us to know – may we never take you or your written Word for granted. Bless the listener as you speak directly to her heart, and bless my thoughts and words as I humbly present what it is you would have us know today. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
Let’s begin in Mark, chapter 10, verse 17 from the New Living Translation…
As Jesus was starting out on his way to Jerusalem, a man came running up to him, knelt down, and asked, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
Let’s examine what we know about the man who came and knelt before Jesus. Mark tells us simply that he was a man who called Jesus a teacher. Luke tells us that he was a religious leader, which makes sense as he was obviously eager to do EVERYTHING right, which was the hallmark of the religious leaders of the day – they operated on the idea that they must follow every jot and tittle of God’s Word to get into heaven.
I can relate to this man, can’t you? He wanted to know what HE should do to secure his future. I have a difficult time with control…I always think that if I can just figure out the right combination of food to eat and exercises to do, I will have complete control over my weight and my health. And…by working REALLY hard and being wise with my money, I will be able to ensure a FABULOUS retirement for myself when the time comes.
This man – who we find out later is rich – was used to controlling his own destiny…or at least trying to. He followed all the rules, he did everything right, but he came to Jesus wanting just ONE MORE piece of insurance of his eternity – essentially asking…is there anything I am missing?
I imagine that anyone who was in listening distance would have been all ears. This man seemingly had it all together. If HE needed to do something else to ensure his ultimate destination, I’m betting everyone else wanted the SAME information.
Jesus’ response turns the tables a bit…verse 18
18 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus asked. “Only God is truly good.
In essence, Jesus was saying…hmmm…think about what you are saying…you know that ONLY God is good. So unless you believe that I AM God, you are quite openly doing something against the religion you claim as you flatter me, calling ME “good” – an adjective that can only be attributed to God Himself.
Jesus continues…
19 But to answer your question, you know the commandments: ‘You must not murder. You must not commit adultery. You must not steal. You must not testify falsely. You must not cheat anyone. Honor your father and mother.’[a]”
It’s interesting that Jesus first speaks of those commandments that are relational – those that have to do with people, not God.
20 “Teacher,” the man replied, “I’ve obeyed all these commandments since I was young.”
Isn’t that a telling statement? The man was going through life on a surface level with his eyes half open. If he had taken even a moment to think more deeply, he would surely have remembered at least ONE time when he went against those commandments. Surely he had bloopers in his life…we all do!
Can you imagine how quickly you and I would go down if someone were to play a video across the sky of our life’s bloopers? The first clip of my life would show me stealing lipstick from my mom’s purse – that was the first time I remember willfully doing something wrong. I believe that my mom and God both forgave me for that many years ago…but if we are following the “rules” of doing right versus doing wrong, we must be honest and recognize that we all have sin in our past. No one is blameless.
And yet, in our culture of canceling each other, we often judge the actions of others while we explain, at least in our own minds, our own actions away.
Thankfully, our God is forgiving and loving…I LOVE this next verse…
21 Looking at the man, Jesus felt genuine love for him.
Wow…Jesus LOVED this man who came to Him not knowing who He was and ONLY wanting to know the rules to secure eternal life.
Jesus loved the man and met him where He was. Jesus did indeed guide him, on a very personal and specific level that was meant to teach the man and help him grow…Jesus said…
“There is still one thing you haven’t done,” … “Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
22 At this the man’s face fell, and he went away sad, for he had many possessions.
Matthew records it this way
Jesus told him, “If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
Let’s break this down…Jesus said first…Go
Jesus calls us to action. How wonderful would it be to sit on the mountaintop with Jesus all day long? But we are here on earth for a reason…we each have a job to do…and Jesus tells us to Go!
Second…Jesus told the many to sell his possessions and give to the poor.
The belief at the time was that God blessed those He was pleased with by giving them earthly riches. God DID make a way for that man to have riches, but there was a reason behind those riches! Jesus gifted the young leader by telling him HOW to use what he had been blessed with. How amazing! How often have we gone to God and asked…what should I do? And then when we hear His reply…be still, trust me, or even, do the hard thing…we think…no, I’m going to take control of things and do what I think is best. All we have to do is obey and follow God’s lead…AND like the man…from our actions, we will gain treasure in heaven. What?? The man should have JUMPED at the opportunity to use all he had been given!
And then, Jesus offers the man the most amazing invitation of all…He says, after you have given all you own away…THEN…COME FOLLOW ME!
The man, having sold his possessions and used them for amazing good, would then be unencumbered and able to follow Jesus!
By all rights, the young leader should have walked away from his encounter with Jesus skipping joyfully. His question had been answered…Jesus had told EXACTLY what he needed to know to ensure eternity…he needed to follow Jesus.
But instead…that man went away sad…focused on all he would have to give up rather than on all Jesus was offering him.
I wonder what ever happened to him? Like the video of my lipstick-snatching days, all we see of this guy is his blunder as he sulked away. Reading this…we assume he was doomed…but remember…Jesus loved him. Surely his story was not over. Isn’t there a lesson in that?
God doesn’t give up on us and God doesn’t judge us by our past actions. The key to eternal glory for the man was never his works…it wasn’t that he would sell all his possessions and give to the poor. The key for the man, and for us, is putting God above everything else. On this side of heaven, we will never be perfect, but to GET to heaven, we must FOLLOW Jesus with our hearts…always returning to Him…even when we mess up in our deeds. And when we follow Him, He will continually show and empower us to put God above everything else.
Verse 23…
23 Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the Kingdom of God!” 24 This amazed them. But Jesus said again, “Dear children, it is very hard[b] to enter the Kingdom of God. 25 In fact, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!”
26 The disciples were astounded. “Then who in the world can be saved?” they asked.
27 Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But not with God. Everything is possible with God.”
You and I don’t hold the key to heaven…and we can’t beat down the pearly gates with our good deeds. Without Jesus…it is IMPOSSIBLE to enter heaven. When we walk by his side, however, Jesus will walk us right into eternity…
As if to underscore this point, Peter IMMEDIATELY showcases the sin of pride…
Verse 28…
28 Then Peter began to speak up. “We’ve given up everything to follow you,” he said.
But Jesus doesn’t focus on Peter’s sin of pride…instead Jesus assures Peter of the blessings that come from walking by God’s side…
29 “Yes,” Jesus replied, “and I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property, for my sake and for the Good News, 30 will receive now in return a hundred times as many houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and property—along with persecution. And in the world to come that person will have eternal life. 31 But many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then.[c]”
Aren’t we so blessed to serve a God who loves us THAT much? Sometimes, in the flesh, what He asks us to do is difficult…but all that He asks us is for our own good.
Is God telling you to serve Him in some way? Does it seem too hard? I guarantee that if you listen and obey, YOU will be the one receiving the blessing!
Five years ago, we at Women World Leaders encouraged Christ-followers to write their stories. Any of our authors will tell you that when God called them to write their story, there were bumps and scary places along the way. But the growth they experienced through the process and the lives they impacted with their words are blessings they never would have imagined.
We publish Voice of Truth, a beautiful magazine full of God’s Word, four times a year. We do it because God told us to. You’d better believe the process is difficult! But God always sees us through, and the reward is amazing!
No matter what God is calling you to do…will you let go of the reins of control and allow Him to work in your life as you respond obediently? Skip with joy into your future as you follow Jesus and all that He has for you!
Let’s pray…
Dear Most Holy God…we say YES! Jesus….we know you are more than a good teacher, you are truly the Son of God. And we vow to follow you! Thank you for the gifts and the gifting you have given each one of us…tune our ears to your Words and give us strength and joy to honor you in all we do for your glory. In Jesus’ name, we pray…Amen.
Please join us today as the founder of WWL's, Kimberly Hobbs is interviewed by Tawana Lowery, the founder of MISS OVERCOMER ministry about "Bold Forgiveness."
We live in a culture that is very protective of personal rights. But as believers, how can we find the balance between standing up for ourselves and following Jesus’ example of laying down His life? Join host Julie Harwick as she explores the topic Laying Down and Giving Up.
***
Welcome to Women World Leaders podcast. I’m your host, Julie Harwick. Thank you for joining me today as we celebrate God’s grace in our lives, in this ministry and around the world.
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” If you are an American, these words should be familiar to you as the second paragraph of our nation’s Declaration of Independence. No previous government had ever enumerated such rights and the fact that the United States of America did, set the stage for a government of the people, by the people and for the people.
I am thankful for the rights our Constitution guarantees, although many of them seem to be under attack lately. However, I think it has created in Americans in particular, a heightened focus on protecting our rights that doesn’t always conform to scripture. Our speech is peppered with phrases like, “I know my rights, what gives you the right? I have every right to…” People devote their lives to fighting for animal rights, women’s rights, gay rights…the list goes on. Our culture places a very high value on defending our rights.
From a purely secular perspective, that seems like a good thing. But recently, God has been challenging my perspective about my rights and the lengths to which I’ll go to defend them.
-------------------------------------------------
I had the privilege of teaching about the Persecuted Church at last month’s Leadership Connect and as I was researching, I watched a video produced on behalf of the underground church in Iran that really convicted me. A missionary who was part of the underground church in Iran was describing how he and the members of his church often discuss what they will do if or when the radical Islamists discover them and break into their hidden place of worship. A young woman who had been part of a radical Muslim faction herself, pointed out what she had already given up for her faith. “I have given up my rights. I have given up my position. I have given up everything for Jesus,” she said. These persecuted Christians are prepared to carry out the command of Romans 12:1 which says, “Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship.” In spite of beatings, prison, assault and murder, these people are willing to lay down their rights, rather than deny their Savior.
------------------------------------------------------
The Church in America has had it so good for so long, that it’s hard for us to identify with believers like this woman. We don’t like to think, much less talk, about suffering and being willing to lay down our rights. For many of us the concept of suffering equates to putting up with a miserable job situation, marital difficulties or experiencing financial problems. These are the very type of problems that many spiritual leaders have focused on as issues we can overcome, if only we learn the spiritual principles that lead to success and happiness. After all, we’re the King’s kids and He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, so why wouldn’t He want us to prosper, enjoy good health and the best of everything this world has to offer? That type of prosperity doctrine has encouraged adherents to focus on all the wrong things…in a nutshell, their own selfish, fleshly desires – a far cry from being a living sacrifice.
I heard a teaching on Romans 12:1 years ago that caused me to consider for the first time that the problem with being a living sacrifice is that you have the option of crawling off the altar at any time. Throughout the Old Testament, the animal sacrifices required by God were always slaughtered before they were placed on the altar. But there is one instance of a living sacrifice in the Old Testament. In the story of Abraham sacrificing his only son, Issac, we usually focus on the aspect of God testing Abraham’s faith. That’s the point, after all, even in the book of Hebrews, Abraham is listed as an example of faith we’re meant to emulate because he was willing to obey God even if it cost him the most precious thing God had ever given him. But have you ever thought about this story from Issac’s perspective? He was probably excited to get to go with his father on such an important mission at 13-years-old. But scripture tells us that he noticed the lack of an animal to sacrifice and even asked his father about it. Abraham simply explained that God Himself would provide the sacrifice and evidently that was good enough for Issac. The boy carried the wood for the sacrifice himself while Abraham handled the torch and a knife. At what point did Issac begin to grasp that he was to be the sacrifice? Genesis 22 tells us that Abraham built an altar and placed the wood on it. Then he bound his son Issac and laid him on top of the wood. I’m guessing this is when Issac came face to face with what would seem to be a terrifying realization. But there is no mention of Issac struggling to break free or questioning Abraham. At 13, he may not have had the strength to resist a grown man, but it’s hard to imagine a 13-year-old boy being unable to outrun a 100-year-old man. From the biblical account though, it appears that Issac was fully compliant. How? How could anyone just lay there on an altar looking up at the knife that was about to end his life? There can be only one answer. He trusted his father. If you’re not familiar with this story, you’ll be relieved to know that God stopped Abraham before the knife came down and told him he had passed the test of obedience. Out of nowhere a ram was suddenly caught in a nearby thicket and God instructed Abraham to release Issac and sacrifice the ram He had provided.
In this instance, God only required Abraham and Issac’s willingness to provide a living sacrifice, but there are times when He doesn’t provide any alternatives. The New Testament is full of stories of the sacrifices made by the original followers of Jesus. Many were stoned, sawed in two and killed by the sword according to Hebrews 11.
Ironically, the man responsible for many of those deaths would be called to lay down his life and write the words of Romans 12:1 encouraging others to do the same. Originally known as Saul, this man had a life that would have seemed enviable by any standard of his day. As a Roman citizen and a respected Pharisee, he had wealth, status and a very bright future. He was known throughout the region for leading the most devout Jews to put an end to the heretical followers of Jesus. Scripture tells us that he held the cloaks of those who eagerly sought to please him by carrying out his orders to stone the Christ followers. No need for him to dirty his hands or exert himself – such activity was beneath him. But a very personal encounter with Jesus Himself on the road to Damascus set his life on an entirely different course. With a new God-given name and a new heart wholly dedicated to the One he had so vigorously persecuted, the Apostle Paul did more to advance the church of Jesus Christ than anyone else, but at great personal cost. In Philippians 3 he reminds his readers of his impressive pedigree as a Hebrew of Hebrews – one who faultlessly kept the law. In verse seven he says, “Whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of knowing Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ.”
In 2 Corinthians 11, Paul details some of the ways he was willing to offer himself as a living sacrifice, saying, “Five times I received from the Jews 40 lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea. I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles, in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea and in danger from false believers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked.” This is quite a contrast with the life he had known as Saul and explains perfectly how he could say in Philippians 2 that his life was being poured out like a drink offering.
While the Apostle Paul is an incredible example of laying down rights and offering everything as a living sacrifice, there could be no greater example than Jesus Himself. It’s laid out for us in my favorite passage in all of scripture, Philippians Chapter 2, written by none other than the Apostle Paul. It’ says, “You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though He was God, He did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, He gave up His divine privileges; He took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When He appeared in human form, He humbled Himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.” Think of that! He was God and yet He didn’t think equality with God was something to cling to. He willingly set aside His divine rights and privileges in exchange for the infinitely inferior mind and body of a human being. And it would’ve been more understandable if He had chosen to inhabit the body of a strong young man of wealth and power, but instead He came to this world as a helpless infant, born to the poorest of parents. I love this passage so much because it really encapsulates what He sacrificed for us. Not just in coming to earth and limiting Himself to a human form, but in taking upon Himself the sins of the world when He deserved no punishment at all!
When I consider what Jesus was willing to do for my sake and the examples set by Paul, other apostles and even modern- day members of the Body of Christ, I am so convicted of my unwillingness to freely lay down my rights. When I feel that they’re being violated, even in the smallest of ways, my defenses go up and I’m ready for a fight. There may be instances when that’s an appropriate response, but I think in many cases, God is bringing me to an Abraham and Issac moment. But rather than climbing up on that altar, I’m running from it as far and as fast as possible.
-----------------------------------------------------
I suspect I’m not the only one who may struggle with laying down my rights. No doubt it’s one of the reasons Jesus warned that the gate He wants us to pass through is narrow and very few find it. But we do not struggle alone. 2 Corinthians 12 tells us that God’s power is perfected in our weakness. His grace is sufficient in any area of weakness. Undoubtedly that truth is what the young Iranian woman clings to when she imagines what the consequences of following Jesus may be. Like Issac, she knows her Father can be trusted, no matter what.
---------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for listening to Women World Leaders podcast! Join us each week as we explore together God’s extravagant love and your courageous purpose. Visit our website at www.womenworldleaders.com to submit a prayer request, register for an upcoming event, and support the ministry. From His heart to yours, we are Women World Leaders . All content is copyrighted by Women World Leaders and cannot be used without written consent.
Kimberly Hobbs
Welcome to Empowering Lives with Purpose. And I'm your host, Kimberly Hobbs. I'm the founder of Women World Leaders. It is our privilege to come to you today and ask you to join us as we welcome our guest today, which is Caitlyn Benedik. Welcome, Caitlin. Glad to have you.
Caitlyn Benedik
I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for having me on.
Kimberly Hobbs
Yes, and today we are talking to you ladies about uncommon and that's a word that is very special to Caitlyn. And as we talk a little bit about her story, you're gonna see why and hopefully that word will speak to you today. And it's our our hopes that in you listening today, ladies that this podcast will strengthen you and encourage you to walk in that beautiful purpose that God has just for you. We believe that all of us are created uniquely by our Creator, our Lord, our God. And every believer has received grace gifts, so use them to serve one another as the faithful stewards of the many colored tapestries of God's grace. That's First Peter 4:10. So as we go into our podcast today, I always love to share a little bit about our guests. So today I want to share a little bit about Caitlyn and who she is and where she came from, before we get into her story, so Caitlyn is a graduate of Pensacola Christian cap College where she was part of the Lady Eagles basketball team during her tenure there. And during her time at Pensacola, she discovered her passion for coaching men's basketball, which led her to Maryland. And that's where she's now an assistant coach for the Salisbury men's basketball program. She's also pursuing her master's degree in Health and Human Performance. And when she is in coaching, she loves to read, spend time outside and serve in her church. So today, as we go into this interview about being uncommon, it's something that really resonates with Caitlyn. And I usually ask some of the women who I have the privilege of interviewing what's a word that would describe you in your life and in what you want to share with the world. And in Caitlyn chose the word uncommon. And I said, Okay, that's really interesting. We've never talked about that before. So she's going to explain more on this as we get into today's podcast. But I wanted to start off with a scripture about being unique. And I just always, if any of you are following us, women, world leaders on these podcasts, scripture, scripture, scripture, it's so important because there's power in the Word of God. And I chose Psalm 139 14, which says, I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works, my soul knows it very well. And I love that because each of us are unique. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. That's what the Bible says about us. Caitlin, god, did you with a distinct purpose and a beautiful heart to walk out that purpose? So let's start here by sharing your story because you were sharing with me. As we were discussing, prior to this podcast, some of the struggles you had growing up and wanting to be an athlete. So can you talk about your growing up years?
Caitlyn Benedik
Yep. So when I was a young kid, I was a gymnast. And that sport is very demanding, you have to be in the gym 24 hours a week, you know, and it's a year round sport. So there's never really any time off. And it's it was a perfectionist environment. So you're judged on how perfect you can do a skill or a routine and growing up also, my family was and they had their own struggles and my parents got divorced and they're both remarried and through that, like the environments weren't very, very loving for a while and I just never felt like I was valued or, or I was good enough. And to add that home situation to my gymnastics mentality and perfectionism. I struggled a lot with my worth and knowing who I was and who's I was and My value and I desire to be a college athlete. I you know, I did gymnastics for 12 years, and my Oh, was, I'm gonna do this in college, I'm gonna get a scholarship doing this. And then about my freshman year in high school, I started getting this feeling like, I'm not really sure if I want to do this anymore. And I didn't really vocalize that for a while it was about a year that I felt that way. And then I started getting scared to do skills I've been doing for a long time. And for all that I've seen gymnastics on TV or participate in the sport, you can't have fear in that sport. Because you're flipping around a bar or you're tumbling over a four inch beam, you have to be fearless. If you're if you have any type of scared feeling in you, then it's very dangerous. And so about my sophomore year in high school, early fall, so late July, early August, I decided for good, it was time for me to be done. And that was very challenging for me, because my whole life, I'd been a gymnast, all my friends knew it. Everybody that known me growing up knew it. That's kind of what they labeled me as was you are a gymnast, and you're really good at it. And so when I told people I was done, and I was gonna walk away from the sport, they, they couldn't believe it, and they couldn't comprehend it. But I knew that's what God was, was calling for me to do. It was time for me to let it go a time for me to move forward and, and experience something new. So I had these friends that lived down the street from me, we used to shoot hoops on the outside goal or walk over to to the park and play some games. And they convinced me to try out for the basketball team. They said have you try out and make it we'll come to every game. Well, they never showed up to one game, but I did make the team ever since then I fall in love with the sport. And so I had this crazy idea. Well, I'm not gonna be a college in this I might as well be a college basketball player. And so I just let somebody in my corner know that that was my goal and my dream and he necessarily didn't believe was going to happen, but he was willing to help me get there. And at least open the gym, provide the opportunity open the weight room, helped train me and helped me actually have not accomplished but work towards that goal and the Lord blessing with two opportunities to college programs and I ended up choosing to go to Pensacola Christian College.
Kimberly Hobbs
Yay. Which brings us into our our next little bit about learning about you. Because this is just this young woman of God has truly captured my heart and talking to her outside of this podcast. And so just getting to know her I want you all to know her too, as as I was getting to know her and she went to college at a Christian College, which was Pensacola Christian College. So Caitlin, can you talk to us a little bit about that it was a strict college, you were saying? And you were not used to strict nor were you used to being surrounded by people of faith, such as that. So can you talk about what that meant being around strong believers?
Caitlyn Benedik
Yeah, so PCC is a they call it independent fundamental Baptists. That's the conference that they're a part of. And so they're very conservative, extremely conservative, like I had to wear a skirt to class every day. And that was tough for me, because I'm a tomboy. So I never, you know, wear skirts or dress up and be super girly. And though my parents had had standards and rules that we were required to follow. This environment was extremely different from what I was used to growing up in. Like I grew up with three brothers and a sister. So I was used to being in the crowd of all men and at PCC there is very strict rules on when and where and how you can hang out with guys. So I was surrounded by a bunch of girls and I didn't really know how to, to navigate that as that wasn't really something that I had always been a part of. But through my time there it was the first time I'd been, you know, I grew up in church and I that was a big part of my life. And I always made sure that I was a youth on Wednesdays and church on Sundays and being mentored by some of the older women in my church. If I ever needed anything. I went to counseling there and stuff like that, but I never been surrounded by all Christian environment academically. So to go to a university where like, I have to take Bible class we have chapel attend every day. We have church on Sunday, Sunday school on Sunday evening church on Wednesday and Sunday night so like I'm constantly surrounded by the word. And not only that, I'm a part of a basketball program where all my teammates are Christian. All my teammates study that word. All my teammates profess to live my life on track change. Seeing God and so that was pretty cool because even though I felt very uncomfortable in that environment, the Lord used it to teach me discipline teach me how to respect authority that I didn't necessarily agree with, teach me how to the importance of having a good female community around me, like now that I moved to Maryland, My Dang, I really need some strong Christian women in my life, whether they're my age, whether they're a little bit older than me, because it's important to be able to have those you can relate to that are going through the same circumstances as you to be able to draw wisdom from there and be able to be turned back to the Lord. So that is, that is why I ended up going there. I didn't know the Lord's purpose. At first I just said, Okay, I'm, I'm gonna go there. That's where I feel weird because I went on to campus visits. I said, I feel peace and PGC. I don't know why. But that's how I know God is telling me that's where he needs me to be. So I just followed the peace and follow where he was leading me. And I can see now why he might.
Kimberly Hobbs
Amen. Amen. And, boy, you know, some of the Navy, the moms listening in, that are at that have children that age, you know, trying to guide them into what colleges to look at. That was really, that was really inspiring to you, and a lot of fundamentals taught at that college for your faith life. So Christian colleges are very, very important. And we're just glad that that was a memorable time in your life. Caitlin, so you were on your way to focusing on playing basketball, but you had another struggle in your life. And this is where God had showed up in your life huge, because you had to have knee surgery. And unfortunately, for a whole year, you were kind of taken out. But while you were dealing with that, God called you to the inner city. And so if you can take this moment and describe to us that time, and how it actually, God had a plan and a purpose already set out and how that led you into what you are doing now as your profession, which is unbelievable. It's uncommon.
Caitlyn Benedik
Yeah, so I had a feeling when I went to college that I was going to want to stay around athletics, and I thought I was going to be in a strength and conditioning standpoint, but then I fell in love with basketball. And so by my sophomore year in college, I had seen this AAU team play. And it was a traveling basketball team. And it was based out of Pensacola. And I'm like, Well, I'm going to school in Pensacola. So let me reach out and see if I can sit in some practices or, or learn from some people. And so I got connected with the community center in Pensacola, which is an inner city, and I volunteered my time for a year. And then by the time I had knee surgery, they offered me a job. So I was full time staff there. And because of my knee surgery, I was able to devote a lot of my time to the community center because I wasn't traveling for games. And then there are days like I wouldn't be able to practice so I could go to work instead. And so I really focus my time on that. And the inner city guy just cold call me there. Because like that's my heart is to help love people where they're broken. Because that's what God has done for me. Like no matter how broken I've always felt the Lord has always been right there to love me, right in my brokenness. And so that's kind of why I love the inner cities, I have ability to shine light in a dark place. And to the point of now I get to be transformational in lives of young men and women. And so I wanted to coach and because I grew up with three brothers, I was always around. I have one biological brother, and he's almost exactly your report. So I was grew up being in class with him. And I always watched him play football, he was a wrestler, he played baseball ran track. So I was always heavily involved in all of his sports. And because of that, you know, I was a part of the boys club. And that's kind of how I grew my passion for men's athletics, and then even more so working in the inner city. Those are very hard young men to reach. And a lot of people say there's not a good young man in the world anymore. Well, okay, if that's the problem, how can we present a solution and I want to be a solution. And he kind of gave me that heart for those that are tough to reach and even more so an ability to reach them. It's one thing like a passion but for God's we equip you with the tools you need. It was it's just been cool to see how it unfolded. And right in front of my eyes.
Kimberly Hobbs
Absolutely honey, and here is where you're at uncommon part of why I've started I, it just seems like, you know what, what happened through that year of transition and your knee surgery and God giving you this heart and passion to do something out of the box that isn't the ordinary of what a young woman would be doing. And so he led you to your career right now, which is so beautiful. And the scripture says right here, but now Oh, Lord, You are our Father. We are the clay, and you are our Potter. We are all the work of your hands. That's Isaiah 64, eight. And that's exactly what he was doing. He was molding you. And he was making you the way he had purposed and planned for your life. And it was something along the desires of your heart already, which is so beautiful, Caitlin, so you belong, you started becoming molded in an uncommon way as a woman at a young age. So can you talk about the boundaries, because now all of a sudden, you're working in a man's world? You are coaching men's basketball at a college? So how did God set you up in that place? Each day, you had four uncommon points, you said that you want to share with the listeners today that were special to you. So can you talk about those uncommon points.
Caitlyn Benedik
So for me, the reason why I chose the word uncommon is, you know, the scripture of like, we're supposed to be salt for the world, we're supposed to be set apart from the world and different. And so for me, like that, is summed up in the word uncommon. And, like, that means to me, I want to be uncommon in four areas in my life, and especially in my job in coaching. And the first one is leading people to accountability and coaching all the time, we have to tell kids, hey, you're not doing this right, need to get better at this. How are we working to grow here, and it's hard for them a lot of times to accept it, like they're always in a defensive standpoint. But if I build a relationship, and get them to paint for me a picture what they want it to look like, now I can lead them to accountability lead them to what they said they want it to be. And so it goes from a conflict driven state to now like an ownership driven state. And they're able to accept Oh, coach is telling me this because I said I wanted to be, let's say, an All American, but I'm not working hard enough to get there. And now she's just leading me to that to what I said I want it to be. So that's one way for me to be uncommon. The other one is loving others Well, for me, like loving my guys know that when I say I love you, it's not this romantic, crazy, awkward thing. It's like when I say I love you, they know I'm committed to your well being. So I love you, and I'll see you be successful, no matter what that looks like. And when I say love you, they know that, like I'm committed to their well being. And being able to walk that out through my actions, allows my words to hold a lot of weight in their life. And then I want to serve them like a waiter. We see a restaurant and and we have a waiter, but they don't expect anything in return. They're just here to get us the drink, get us our food, take our order, whatever else we might need for that meal to go well, and for us to have a great experience there. And so that's what I want my life to be like, That's what Jesus was he got down, he washed our feet, you never expect anything in return. And so I just want to serve like a waiter without expecting anything in return. And the last thing is gonna be an elite question asker in coaching, especially in sports, like our guys have to be able to make decisions, and then even raising kids like we want our children to be able to make decisions when they leave our care. But if we're always giving them the right answers, how are they going to ever be able to make their own decision? So I want to ask the questions, I want them the questions I asked to foster a learning environment, and an autonomy of learning. So now they can figure it out. I'm just sparking, thought I'm just sparking the wheels turning so they can come to the conclusion that they need to be successful. And when they do that, it gives them ownership of their learning. Instead of giving them the right directions, I'm asking them the right questions. So that's what I'm common means to me, it's leading them to accountability, serving like a waiter, loving them, well, then asking them only questions.
Kimberly Hobbs
Wow, that is so beautiful, Coach Caitlin, that God has called you to be so unique in an environment that he set up just for you to serve in and it goes along with your personality. Its goes along with how God created you growing up all the experiences that you had experience. And again, all of us are uncommon in different ways, right? We're each created unique like the scripture I opened up, you know, we are fearfully and wonderfully made each and our own purpose. So the women that are listening in are thinking oh my goodness, you know, my daughter needs to listen to this and as we go into our are closing in this is where I kind of wanted to rest a little bit and you to take some time is that listener right now that is just kind of gleaning from what you've learned at a young age and how you've processed this. You value scripture, Caitlin and I asked you what is some of the scripture that God gave to you your favorite scriptures, and one you shared with me was proverbs three, five, and six, which a lot of us love and have claimed, which is trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding, in all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. And then there was another scripture that is special to you. And that's in Jeremiah, where Jeremiah and the potter, there's a, there's a whole story there. So I just want you to take off and inspire these listeners about why this passage is an is so important and how it can help them in their life, too.
Caitlyn Benedik
So one of the biggest struggles for me is just the value piece, like knowing my worth, and being confident in that I'm not looking for outside affirmation, finding it in the Lord. And so this summer, I really been kind of working on healing through that. And God gave me Jeremiah 18, which is, he has Jeremiah to go down to the potter's house, he said, I'll speak to you there. And so when Jeremiah got there, the Potter was working on a vessel. And when he was finished making it, the potter realized it was marred in his hand. So it wasn't made correctly. If he fired it, it probably would have broken so instead of throwing the clay away and getting new clay to make something different, he then crushed it down, remoulded it, reshaped it to where it was as good as him. And then God told Jeremiah like, this is what I can do for Israel, you know, and it really spoke to me because instead of tossing what he thought was broken, the what the potter thought was broken away, he then remoulded it, took it down, tore it down, built it back up, to make it something beautiful for him, and God does the same thing for us. He's really shown me through this scripture that our brokenness is not something to hide. The world wants us to put on this perfect mentality and like, we're fine. There's nothing wrong with us. Not to share our stories, because if we do and show where our imperfections lie, then we're not good enough. But that's not what this scripture is telling us. It's saying that even though we're broken, God will build us back up to where it is good in his eyes, you know, like were created beautifully and wonderfully in his eyes. And he also spoke to me and said, like, we're so busy comparing ourselves to others, that we're now going to be replicas of those people. Instead, why don't we allow the Lord to build us up to shape us to mold us and now we're going to be unique and marvelous, and a masterpiece for the Lord? Why would you want to be a replica when we can be a masterpiece, and we all need to be masterpieces. Because if I'm trying to be a rebel, I'm never going to be 100% When God needs me to be. And so this scripture is really been speaking to me and even more so to the fact that like, there's this ancient Japanese art, and they take broken pottery, and they piece it back together with gold, and it becomes more valuable, broken than it ever was whole. And that's kind of how we are, the more broken we are, the more the Lord can work in our lives, the more we can experience His grace and His strength. And it says in Scripture, where we are weak, then he is strong. So we have to find strength in our weakness, because even though we might be broken, even though we might feel down in the pit, like we have hope in the Lord, because he said that he's going to lift us up and bring us out of it. And even though we can't see the good right now, like eventually, we're going to understand that we needed to weather that storm. So now we can reach other people through that we have a newfound endurance in God.
Kimberly Hobbs
Wow. Wow, I told you ladies like she is just what God has taught her at such a young age. And it's just valuable information and, and we are just so thankful, you know, that you would just come and share from your heart. And it just gives so many hope, you know, just hope of what God can do with a life When you surrender to Him. And you, coach Caitlin are uncommon for Jesus, and it's a beautiful thing. So the Bible tells us that as each of us have received a gift to us to serve one another, as stewards of God's varied grace. And again, that's first Peter 410 and a different version as I opened up with but ladies God has created you each unique and Different in Romans 12 Two says, Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing, you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. And as we learned, just hearing Katelyn share her story, she was tested. And she had to discern about what is the will of God for my life, she had it planned out, she had it mapped out of what she wanted to do. But God gently guided her to where he wanted and what he prepared, which was so unique to who she is and who he created her to be. It's the beauty of God, ladies, when we surrender our hearts and open it up to him and his will for our life. He's never gonna steer you wrong. And Caitlin, if I asked you right now, can I offer you $200,000 to come and dig dirt in my backyard? Because I really need somebody, would you leave what you're doing? No, I don't think so. Because God called you to this, because he knew that he created you with this amazing purpose to pour into these men that are at this college, you know, and that are learning from you. So we are grateful for what you do. And ladies, each of you can do anything that God is calling you to anything, you just need to trust Him and step out of the box and do those uncommon things. With his strength, not yours, just like Caitlin had to rely on God every step through this. And he was giving her all the signs and strengthening her to prepare her for what she's doing. And Philippians 413 says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, which is amazing, because all is all and that's all like we we can do anything and everything. That's powerful. So it was God who set you apart, Caitlin, before you were born to do this uncommon thing. And ladies, another scripture you can read on your own is Galatians 115. And again, nothing is impossible with God. So one more 32nd. Caitlin, what is that shot in the arm that you want to leave for the women listening in that will just empower her today to just walk out there and be uncommon for Jesus? What can you tell her?
Caitlyn Benedik
My life motto is don't discount your value. So just like you buy a shirt, depending on what logo has on it depends its value, or your logo is the Lord and you your value is immense. He loves you so much. And never discount your value because you're the one who gets to set it and everybody else has to follow. So whatever you set it as that is what it is. So find it in the Lord and trust that He will be with you every step of the way.
Kimberly Hobbs
Amen. And you didn't even know I was gonna ask you that question. And that's just huge, just huge. So thank you. Thank you so much Dream Big ladies, because you are extraordinary. And we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. So in closing, I just want to say thank you coach, Caitlin, for being with us today and just you are a breath of air as a young woman out of college coaching men's basketball at another college like yay, go coach Caitlin, and go team Salisbury, Salisbury, what are they called? What are their What's your seagulls, the seagulls, Salisbury seagulls? So go team and ladies, we are just glad you have made your way to women, world leaders to listen to these podcasts. And as we close out today, we want to invite you to be part of this amazing, amazing global ministry for women of all ages. And we believe with all our hearts, there is a place for you here if you want to serve Jesus. Come serve Him with us. There is so many opportunities for you to be part of this ministry. Just as when Caitlin and I were introduced. We didn't know what God had planned for us to meet. But this whole podcast unfolded as we got to know each other and her willing yes to God to say, I'll serve you however you want. Let us to be on this podcast together. So ladies, the same for you. Whatever God is stirring in your heart to serve Him. We have opportunity to do that. Here. You can write your story. We have voice of truth magazine, which is a quarter The publication it's beautiful. There's so many gifts and talents inside of that magazine that are used for Jesus Christ, you can be a part of that we have books that go out into the world with, oh my goodness, such amazing God stories. Maybe God gave you an incredible story that needs to be shared to give others hope, and inspiration, whatever it may be, ladies, we have a place for you. Please reach out to us. You can reach out to me personally at Kimberly at women world leaders.com Send me an email about how I can get in touch with you to see what you can possibly be a part of here in this ministry. And like I said, so many things. So please pray about it. Please join us please just be part of this amazing, amazing mission for God. Thank you, Caitlin Benedick for being our guest today. Thank you ladies for being here and empowering lives with purpose and from his heart to yours. We are women world leaders. Remember every Monday, Wednesday and Friday we bring to you these podcasts for your learning and inspiration and in growth in Jesus. All content is copyrighted by women world leaders and cannot be used without expressed written consent. God bless you all and have a beautiful day.
In today's podcast, host Tawana Lowery shares biblical insight about how to overcome being offended for the sake of the cross. She tells a personal story about how God delivered her from being offended so she could help others experience the love and saving grace of Jesus and shares why the ability to overcome being offended is crucial in preparing for the days ahead.
*****
Hello… and Welcome to Women World Leaders Podcast
I’m your Host… Tawana Lowery
· Women’s Empowerment Coach
· And Executive Director of Miss Overcomer Global
And I’m VERY excited you joined today…
· As we explore what the Father wants us to know about himself and who we are as Powerful Ambassadors…
· So let’s get started…
1. This is the time of year when many of us set goals or resolve to make improvements in our lives.
2. Today I want to share a few thoughts about a resolution you may not have considered… and that is …
How to Overcome being offended.
3. As we see tensions and conflict mounting on a High-Definition Global scale… each of us will be presented with an increased opportunity to be offended.
4. In fact, Jesus instructed in Matthew 24:10 that opportunities to be offended would be on the rise in the last days.
a. That because of the increase of wickedness… many people’s hearts would grow cold.
b. But…. as his ambassadors… we are called to rise above it and live with a pure heart.
Let me share a story from my own experience…
1. Several years ago, I walked continually offended by the Pornography industry…
2. And… yes… what this industry produces is evil…
· Nevertheless… my response to it was NOT the love of God.
3. Finally, I just asked God why I allowed anything Porn related to produce such a visceral response.
4. He told me the issue was my own unbelief.
· I somehow believed the pornography industry was more powerful than the all-sufficient Love of God to save and deliver.
· Also, I had a teenage son at the time… and I was fearful of the effects it could have on him if he encountered it.
· Again…. I was putting all my faith in the power of sin rather than the power of God to save.
5. And so… my first step was to pray about the unbelief and ask God’s forgiveness about the offense.
6. Several weeks later…. I was praying about how to become more available to my community with prayer and counseling.
Share your personal story.
Conclusion
7. We need to see the Provocations as an Invitation…
· For Transformation and Restoration….
8. Had I not prayed about my offense towards those enslaved by pornography… I would have missed a great miracle.
Lessons Learned…
· When I’m offended, I am walking in disobedience because I am walking after the flesh.
· When I’m focused on the offense, I am allowing the enemy to distract my focus Away from the cross.
· When I turn my back on those who offend me, I am turning my back on the opportunity for transformation and restoration (for the other person and myself).
· 1 Corinthians 13 – LOVE is not easily Offended…
· We are Chosen to be offended for the sake of the Cross!
· We have the privilege of allowing the offense to drive us to the Cross so the resurrection power of Jesus might be made manifest.
During this new year, let’s be intentional to go on Offense about being Offended rather than being defensive distant.
Let’s purpose in our hearts to see the Provocations as an Invitation for Restoration, Transformation and Resurrection!
CLOSING REMARKS….
Well… It’s been a pleasure spending time with you today.
Thanks for listening to Women World Leaders podcast!
· Join us each week as we explore together God’s extravagant love and your courageous purpose.
· Visit our website at www.womenworldleaders.com to submit a prayer request, register for an upcoming event, and support the ministry.
· From His heart to yours, we are Women World Leaders.
All content is copyrighted by Tawana Lowery and Women World Leaders and cannot be used without express written consent.
Join host Julie Harwick on today's episode of the Women World Leaders' Podcast. As humans, we have a tendency to view our identity through the lens of what we do. But God is far more concerned with who we are. Could it be that we’ve been focusing on what is entirely the wrong thing?
****
Welcome to Women World Leaders podcast. I’m your host, Julie Harwick. Thank you for joining me today as we celebrate God’s grace in our lives, in this ministry and around the world.
The beginning of another year always forces us to do some serious thinking. We think about the year that has passed: what went wrong and what went well. We evaluate our own performance so we can decide what we want to stick with and what might need to change. For many, this comes in the form of New Years’ resolutions. A 2022 poll by Yougov revealed that 37% of Americans had a goal or resolution they intended to pursue in 2023. While everyone begins with the best of intentions, few follow through. A Forbes Health survey showed that the average resolution lasts just over three months. 65% of the respondents had abandoned their goals after four months and only 1% stuck with it through the entire year. Those statistics aren’t surprising and some sources even refer to January 17th as “Ditch New Year’s Resolutions Day” and others have named the second Friday in January “Quitters Day.”
What these statistics really show is that many of us want to change…want to be better in some way, but we just can’t seem to do it. We talk a lot about willpower, determination and setting ourselves up for success and yet, we fail, again and again. I’ve never been a resolution-making person, but I do want very much to change and not stay the way I am. Of course I want to lose weight and be healthier and handle my money better, but what I really want is to be more like Jesus. And if I could do that, I think everything else would probably fall into place.
I know that’s what God wants for me as well. In Romans I read that He wants me to be “conformed to His image,” and the Apostle Paul instructed us to be imitators of him as he was of Christ. So if I want this and God wants this, why doesn’t it just happen? God has been revealing some answers as I’ve been thinking about this lately, and particularly through some books I’ve been reading. I’ve come to believe the problem has been that my focus is all wrong.
Have you ever noticed how much we focus on what we do in determining our identity? For instance, what do you talk about when you meet someone for the first time at a party, church or work? We give our names and somewhere in the first few exchanges, someone asks, “What do you do for a living?” When we sit down at the dinner table, whether it’s with the family, friends or a significant other, the conversation often begins with, “so what did you do today?” How many teachers have welcomed their class back after a weekend or a holiday or especially summer break with an invitation to share with the class, what they did over the time away from school? And don’t we feel maybe a little bit judged in answering these questions? As a stay-at-home mom for many years, I knew my work was very important, but a part of me would always wonder if the person I was talking with would see it that way. And many of us might feel the need to describe what we do for a living in a way that makes it seem better than it really is. I wasn’t particularly eager to describe my summer break when the only activity I could remember was helping to clean out the basement. It seems our actions rarely live up to expectations and yet, we’re fixated on them.
We’ve carried this kind of thinking into our spiritual lives as well. If we venture into a spiritual conversation with a co-worker, we are likely to begin with, “where do you go to church?” When we meet new people at church, we’re apt to tell them where or how we serve in the local body and may even invite them to attend our small group or bible study. All things we do. It doesn’t necessarily tell them anything about who we are, but we are eager for them to know what we do.
In his book, “Emotionally Healthy Discipleship,” author Peter Scazzero points out that God created us to be “human beings,” not “human doings.” “Being” is not something we give much thought to, but we do think often of “doing.” Doing is easily understood and quantifiable. It’s easy for me to recall and describe all the things I’ve done. But if you ask me to describe who I’ve been and who I am now…how do I answer that? In the last 30 or 40 years it’s almost become cliché for celebrities to travel to some remote location to “find themselves.” What does that even mean? It’s clear to me that we prefer to focus on doing rather than being because it keeps us safely in a world we understand, can easily articulate and doesn’t ask too much of us.
But will doing help us become more like Jesus? It could. Certainly Jesus did things. He traveled around, preaching and healing. He participated in worship at the synagogue, he visited friends, he ate and drank and attended a wedding. But how did He describe Himself? He never made reference to being a carpenter or a teacher. But He did say things like, “I am the way, the truth and the life,” and “I and the Father are One.” In the gospel of John, Jesus made six other “I am” statements. “I am the bread of life.” “I am the light of the world.” “I am the door.” “I am the good shepherd.” “I am the true vine,” and “I am the resurrection and the life.” Jesus continually showed that He knew exactly Who He was and His terminology points back to the Old Testament statement given to Moses at the burning bush when God said, “I am Who I am. Tell them the ‘I am’ sent you.” In all of these “I am” statements, Jesus was making it clear that He was God. And throughout the Old Testament God often describes Himself that way too, saying things like, “I am the Lord and there is no other.” The book of Revelation describes a future when all of heaven will offer praise to Him Who was and is and is to come.” All of these scriptures point to a God Who is worthy of our worship because of Who He is, not what He has done. Another book I recently read and recommend is “Audience of One,” by R.T. Kendall. I was convicted by what I read, that most of my worship of God is concentrated on what He has done for me, rather than Who He is. Being grateful and acknowledging His blessings is important and necessary, but if He never again lifted a finger on my behalf, He would still deserve my worship simply because He is God. That’s not the way I’ve typically approached worship, because again, it’s easier and more comfortable to just recount all that God has done for me. Taking the time and intellectual effort to really contemplate Who He is doesn’t come quite as naturally to me, but it’s an effort I know I need to make.
God keeps showing me that being vs. doing may go against my human nature, but it’s His preferred method for change and growth. If you ever feel the same kind of resistance to it that I do, consider Jesus’ conversation with Martha in Luke 10: 38-42. Three siblings, Martha, Mary and Lazarus had a special relationship with Jesus. John 11:12 tells us specifically that “Jesus loved Martha and her sister, Mary and Lazarus.” On one occasion, Martha had invited Jesus into their home to enjoy a meal and teach all who were gathered there. Throughout the gospels, we see many people following Jesus everywhere He went so they could listen to His teaching. We don’t know how many were present at Martha’s house, but even if it was just Jesus and His 12 disciples, that would be about 16 people. It wouldn’t be surprising if Martha and her siblings invited other family members or friends to hear the teacher that everyone was talking about. Imagine the biggest party you’ve ever hosted and you might have an idea of what Martha was dealing with. Personally, I love hosting a party, but it can also be very stressful. Though I’m hardly a perfectionist, when I’m hosting a gathering, I want my house to be spotless, with everything in its place. I want the food to be ready on time, looking and tasting delicious. No matter how early I begin preparations, it always comes down to the wire. I’m frantically rushing around trying to complete a million details no one else may ever care about or even notice, but they seem critical to me. That’s how I imagine it was for Martha. She couldn’t help but be thrilled to have someone like Jesus as her guest of honor and I’m sure she wanted everything to be absolutely perfect. Scripture says Martha was distracted with all her preparations and she was getting rather perturbed that her sister, Mary, oblivious to her concerns, offered no help at all. I can so relate. There’s nothing worse than rushing around in panic mode before a major event and seeing your loved ones who could be helping you doing something totally unnecessary or possibly nothing at all. From Martha’s perspective, that’s exactly what Mary was doing. When she reached her limit of tolerance for this situation, she didn’t call Mary over and tell her she needed help, instead, she decided to go straight to the top. She walked right up to Jesus and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” It almost seems like she might have been a little bit mad at Him too. She calls Him Lord, but there’s an awful lot of attitude to go with it. But Jesus doesn’t seem put off by her accusatory tone. I’m not sure if He’s chuckling at her ruffled feathers or if there’s a sad compassion in His response, but He says her name twice, maybe to make sure she really hears Him. “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about so many things, but only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen what is best, and it will not be taken away from her.” It was a gentle rebuke, but obviously, it was not what Martha expected. We’re never told how she reacted in the moment, but I suspect His words replayed in her mind over and over. While it may have appeared that Martha was doing all the important work while Mary did nothing, Jesus saw the situation from a totally different perspective. Martha was consumed with doing. She was doing it for Jesus, as faithfully as she knew how, but it wasn’t really needed and it was causing her to miss what He really wanted for her. Mary wasn’t doing nothing. She was doing the only thing that mattered – sitting at Jesus’ feet, just being with Him, listening to His teaching and simply enjoying His presence. Martha was doing. Mary was being.
This had to be a major paradigm shift for Martha. The way she took charge of the preparations and challenged Mary’s inactivity indicates that her identity was probably all wrapped up in successfully completing tasks. She was focused on serving others, which was a great quality, but it also brought her bitterness and irritability and kept her from something so much better. No doubt Martha meditated on what Jesus had said to her because when we meet her again in John 11, she expresses a new maturity in her faith despite a devastating loss. She had sent word to Jesus that her brother, Lazarus, was deathly ill, but He had delayed in coming and her brother had died. When she hears that Jesus has finally arrived, she runs to meet Him while Mary continues weeping in the house. “Lord, if You had been here my brother would not have died,” she begins, sounding a little like the former, accusatory Martha. But she immediately adds, “ but even now I know God will do anything You ask.” Jesus answers, “Everyone who has faith in Me will live, even if they die. And everyone who lives because of faith in Me will never really die. Do you believe this?” Her answer to His question demonstrates that she’s no longer focused on just doing things for Jesus, she’s come to a new revelation of exactly Who He is. “Yes Lord! I believe You are the Christ, the Son of God. You are the One we hoped would come into the world.” Martha’s efforts to shift her focus from doing to being gave her a completely different perspective, grew her faith and led to the most incredible miracle she could’ve ever imagined. Jesus raised her brother from the dead!
What miracles might we experience? What growth and freedom and joy could we find if we could also shift our focus from doing to being? If Jesus says sitting at His feet and just being in His presence is the best thing we can do, then that’s what I want for 2024. It’s a new year and I want a new beginning with my heart set on worshipping Him for Who He is and by His grace, finding my identity in who He created me to be.
Thanks for listening to Women World Leaders podcast! Join us each week as we explore together God’s extravagant love and your courageous purpose. Visit our website at www.womenworldleaders.com to submit a prayer request, register for an upcoming event, and support the ministry. From His heart to yours, we are Women World Leaders . All content is copyrighted by Women World Leaders and cannot be used without written consent.
Stay up to date
For any inquiries, please email us at hello@podcastworld.io