9: How to Make Time

Do you find it hard to say no? Are you a people pleaser?

“If you try to please all, you please none.”  – Aesop.

Caring about how other people feel and having the best intentions at heart when helping them is not an inherently bad thing.

However excessive people pleasing will do more damage than good to yourself.

This episode we look at people pleasing, why we do it, why it is not the best for us in the long run.

More importantly, we dive into tips on how to stop being an excessive people pleaser.

This week’s tips/points include:

1. Know that you cannot please everybody
2. You do not need to like everybody
3. REMEMBER - You DO NOT need everybody to like you (and that is OKAY!)

Stay tuned to Part 2 where you will learn about the other 6 CRUCIAL tips that will help you to stop being an excessive people pleaser.


Sources:
https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-1-4612-4634-3_4 ;
http://read.gov/aesop/136.html

Amazing music from Fesliyan Studios and Harris Heller:
https://www.fesliyanstudios.com ;
https://bit.ly/3e1sCUj

Life is unpredictable, but we cannot let uncertainty take over our lives.

While uncertainty is unpleasant, the good thing is that you can take steps to better cope with uncertainty, and live the life that you want to live.

Here are four actionable tips on how you can better cope with uncertainty:

1. What is going right for you?
2. Don’t clump all your worries together
3. Don’t self isolate
4. Do something that makes you feel like you are in control

Also - regardless of where you are, who you are, what you are doing, what your situation is, why you feel uncertain, I would like you to remember that you are not alone. You will survive, and emerge stronger than before. Sending lots of love and support to you from here in sunny Singapore!

Sources:
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/19/opinion/sunday/why-the-future-is-always-on-your-mind.html
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/willpower-how-to-develop-marathon-runner-andy-murray-tips-advice-a7851421.html

Beautiful music from Fesliyan Studios and Harris Heller:
https://www.fesliyanstudios.com
https://bit.ly/3e1sCUj

Do you feel like you don’t have enough time in your day?

How can you optimise and make the best use of one of your most precious resources - time?

This episode will delve right into that, and equip you with the five following tips to help you make time:

1. Start with why
2. Focus on the physical time, not your psychological time
3. Identify where you are wasting time
4. Focus on a single task at a time
5. Brain dump!

Go on and make the time to do the things that bring you value!

Sources:
https://www.iep.utm.edu/time/
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0360131512002254

Great music by Fesliyan Studios and Harris Heller:
https://www.fesliyanstudios.com
https://bit.ly/3e1sCUj

According to author Tony Crabbe, we are finite humans, living in an “infinite” world. This dissonance makes idling and doing nothing, things that can truly help us to recharge and gain inspiration, incredulously tough.

Here is how you can learn how to do nothing (as strange as it sounds):

1) Find out if you actually struggle to do nothing
2) Figure out when, how much, and why you feel like you cannot do nothing
3) Experience what doing nothing feels like and what it can do for you
4) Ask yourself - “what is my definition of a successful day and life?”

Go forth and find some time to do nothing - even if it is a mere 5 - 10 minutes in your busy day!

Source:
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160909-why-you-feel-busy-all-the-time-when-youre-actually-not

Insane beats by Fesliyan Studios and Harris Heller:
https://www.fesliyanstudios.com
https://bit.ly/3e1sCUj

How often do you react to a situation rashly because you assume that someone else thinks, feels a certain way or has a particular intention behind an action?

A lot of the strong negative emotions that we feel when we interact with other people can stem from the assumptions that we unknowingly make about them.

Yet our assumptions of other people’s responses, thoughts and feelings may not be entirely accurate, even when we actively try to put ourselves in their shoes. 


Here is how you can kill your assumptions and start understanding:

1) Ask yourself - “is this emotion based on an assumption”?
2) If you assume, assume the best 

3) Just ASK
4) How others react speaks more about them than you


We need your support - so follow us on Instagram @alwaysgrowingpodcast, and share this with anyone that you think would benefit from it! Thank you so much and take care!

Sources:
https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037/pspa0000115
http://www.yalescientific.org/2010/09/how-the-brain-saves-energy-the-neural-thermostat/

Thank you Fesliyan Studios and Harris Heller for the amazing music:
https://www.fesliyanstudios.com
https://bit.ly/3e1sCUj

A Gallup study in 2018 of around 7,500 full-time employees found that about two-thirds of full-time workers experience burnout on the job.

Refraining from tasks and thoughts related to your job (or work week) during non-work hours can reduce how much your job (or study) stress affects your overall well being.

Here are five actionable tips for you in hitting the reset button over the weekend: 


1) Don’t pressurise yourself to be too productive
2) Get enough sleep in the night 

3) Do something indulgent for yourself

4) Prioritise situations and tasks

5) Take one small step towards reflexivity 


ALSO... We have a new Instagram account: @alwaysgrowingpodcast
Do give us a follow and we would love to chat with you there!


Sources:
https://www.gallup.com/workplace/237059/employee-burnout-part-main-causes.aspx ;
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/job.1924 ;
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1087079200901382


Thank you Fesliyan Studios and Harris Heller for the crazy euphoric beats:
https://www.fesliyanstudios.com
https://bit.ly/3e1sCUj

Do you feel very self critical of yourself at times? Are there moments where you just can’t find the means to love yourself?

I definitely encounter my fair share of these moments, and I found that these things help me when I am in such a mental state:

1) Stop looking at the things that trigger you
2) Stop thinking of the things that trigger you; don’t feed negative thoughts
3) What are you proud of?
4) Reframe!
5) What can you work on?

Hang in there; you can do it! You deserve all the love you give to other people!

Connect with us at @alwaysgrowingpodcast on Instagram

Insanely beautiful music:
Royalty free music from https://www.fesliyanstudios.com

How different are you from your parents? Perhaps the most sobering thing is that our parents are just like us. We are not too different from our parents.

Do listen to Part 1 first if you haven’t!

Here is part two of my humble learnings regarding approaching our parents as adults:

4) Our parents are not that different from us
5) Our parents have made sacrifices
6) We can connect and be vulnerable over grown up topics
7) Our parents are great teachers

I hope you enjoyed this episode, and look forward to speaking with you in the next one!

Connect with us at @alwaysgrowingpodcast on Instagram

Euphonic music:
1. Intro - Royalty free music from https://www.fesliyanstudios.com

2. Gymnopedie No. 1 by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3837-gymnopedie-no-1
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

3. Prelude in C (BWV 846) by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4237-prelude-in-c-bwv-846-
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Bearing the weight of the world, parents often try not to wear the heaviness they feel on their faces. Hopeful that we will see light, even when they are staring into the dark.

Here is Part 1 of my humble learnings regarding approaching our parents as adults:

1) The time to connect is now
2) Our parents are human
3) Our parents have feelings that we as children overlook
(More important ones in the next episode!)

Stay tuned for Part 2 of this, where we will look at the other precious learnings about approaching our parents as adults.

Do let me know if any of this resonates with you!

Connect with us at @alwaysgrowingpodcast on Instagram

Beautiful music:
1. Intro - Royalty free music from https://www.fesliyanstudios.com

2. Gymnopedie No. 1 by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3837-gymnopedie-no-1
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

3. Prelude in C (BWV 846) by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4237-prelude-in-c-bwv-846-
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

One of the most powerful things that you can do for yourself is to learn how to cope when you feel stressed.

This episode is to help you deal with stress in the moments that you feel stressed.

Here are the seven tips that may help you:

1) Stress is a reminder of what is important to you
2) Recognise what stress feels like to you
3) Breathe
4) Take alone time if needed
5) Gain a sense of control
6) Remind yourself you will feel better soon
7) It is all about growth

You’ve got this!

Connect with us at @alwaysgrowingpodcast on Instagram

Sources:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S016815919900088X
https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/66eb/726591a441e379264fea515b19865efc9868.pdf

Beautiful music:
Royalty free music from https://www.fesliyanstudios.com