A Life of Listening with Leighton Ford-CMAW096

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ken Barun, Senior Vice President of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association was recently announced as one of the newest members to the Board of Directors at Gravity Jack. Ken is a distinguished leader with extensive corporate and philanthropic experience, including his role as President/CEO of Ronald McDonald House Charities Worldwide and Director of Projects and Policy on the White House staff to First Lady, Nancy Reagan. His commitment to making a positive impact is evident in his founding of the charity, and his dedication to charitable work and corporate social responsibility reflects his passion for making a difference in the world.

Get and Give Feedback

Surveys from Lowe’s to just about everywhere online

Why? Because it’s so important to not just work efficiently but to make sure you’re pursuing the right objective and in the right manner

I manage projects and critical aspect of my job is defining early and accurately what my customer or stakeholder needs and wants as project deliverables

Making assumptions or rushing to the execution phase are two big errors which lead to poor results and damaged business relationships

On this topic I recommend recent episode of the Emotionally Healthy Podcast called The Life Changing Skill of Clarifying expectations”

This is what emotionally mature individuals do, and one of the axioms on that podcast is that you can’t be spiritually mature unless you’re emotionally mature

Asking for feedback

Talking too loud

Too harsh in a meeting

Give feedback (solicited and unsolicited)

I've worked where we receive emails from managers asking me to give feedback to their direct reports soon after working with them.  I try to always give that feedback and to make it meaningful not just vanilla and predictable

How is very important

" Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up." - James 4:10

"Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, But he who hates correction is stupid." - Proverbs 12:1

So provide feedback through surveys when you can as a gift to others, but also seek feedback about yourself and never be afraid to face the music of truth when it comes to our behavior and how our behavior is received by others.

An overused phrase is to give 110% effort.

What does that mean when we think of living out our faith through our work

Well, I can't spell that out in a cookie cutter fashion that applies to everyone in all circumstances, but I know it when I see it

This morning I saw it.

I’ll use a different name, Bob. Bob took my biometrics, all good except high blood pressure . I told him I had a lot of stress. He went on for about 10 minutes sharing with me his philosophy. Like extending your arm holding glass of water. Water is like stress. Talk to yourself, love yourself, if you hold

Onto feelings and tell yourself you’re feeling something like sadness it helps no one.

It certainly doesn’t help you and it also doesn’t affect the person who you’re thinking about.

I thanked him and gave him a hug when I left. On my way back to my desk I was light in my feet. When I grabbed my coffee I saw someone who asked me how

My morning was. I said I had gotten the biometrics and he asked what they did . I told him that the worker had given me some great tips on managing stress. My friend asked me what they were so I shared and he then told me a story about a 90

Yr old woman who was his neighbor across the street. She used to say to him if something isn’t going to matter in 100 years

Then don’t worry about it.

I share this story with you for two reasons. One is I hope you benefit front the advice related to worry and stress because at some level I know we all need that advice.  Specifically I want to talk about the advice to love yourself. There was a time when I would have embraced that advice without a faith or biblical context, ie I was all about myself and my goals and was not humbly seeking Gods will. There was also a time in my life when I would reacted

To that advice in knee jerk, holier than though fashion, ie I would have said “that’s wrong I should not love myself, I should be humble and repentant”.

I believe I’m at a place now where I’m closer to the truth than either of those previous versions of myself.

Loving yourself is a command found in both the Old Testament and New Testament, the Torah and the Apostolic Scriptures.

You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord" - Lev 19:18

Jesus quoted this in 3 of the 4 Gospels, saying this was the 2nd greatest commandment.

Paul quoted this in the book of Galatians and Romans, and James quoted it as well.;

In fact, I don't know this for sure, but this could be the most quoted command in the Bible.

This command shows that God wants us to love our neighbor, but it also shows He wants us to love ourselves, and you can argue, it shows that we cannot love our neighbor if we don't first love ourselves.

My second reason for sharing this story is to provide an example of what giving 110% might look like in your work, though at the same time I think it would be better to think of this as 110% relative to what is the norm, but should be the normal behavior for those of us who are believers

My third reason is to encourage you to pass along something good that you year, as I did with my friend when I was getting coffee, and be ready to shut up and let the person share their thoughts once you've brought up something of moral significance.

Phil 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things"

During my self-help days, I often heard "You are what you think about all day long"

or as it says in proverbs 23:7 "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he"

What should we think about, or focus on, in this life?

Our highest priority should be the unseen holy, set apart things, namely God and the things of God. The word for holy spirit or set apart in Hebrew is Kadosh

Col 3:2 says "Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth."

Joshua 1:8 says "This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night"

Psalm 119:97 "Oh, how I love Your law!
It is my meditation all the day"

I used to think that when the Bible talked about meditating, or thinking, about His Word all day long, it didn’t literally mean all day, but now I’m not so sure. I’m finding the more I focus on God the more I’m truly living.

In the Torah it encourages us to think about His word throughout our day

In Deut 6:6-9 says "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

Number 15:39-41says "And you shall have the tassel, that you may look upon it and remember all the commandments of the Lord and do them, and that you may not follow the harlotry to which your own heart and your own eyes are inclined, 40 and that you may remember and do all My commandments, and be holy for your God. 41 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: I am the Lord your God.”

Lesser in value than the set apart kadosh things that are unseen but still having great value are those things that are seen but also set apart. What we experience with our 5 senses. You could say our natural reality.

Traditions in Judaism include saying prayers the moment you wake, when you walk to the bathroom, etc

By doing so we are making our natural world set apart or kadosh, not totally of course, since we are in a fallen world.

Gnosticism was a set of beliefs focused on knowledge and considered things natural to be avoided.

I believe by coming to earth and taking on flesh, in addition to the important work of providing the necessary sinless sacrifice, Jesus also demonstrated the importance of us living in our natural reality.

Also God wanted the tabernacle and then the temple to be made by human hands, and for us to it holy, even though they were types of the temple in the unseen realm.

There a number of Songs with the theme “this is not my home” or "this world is not my home" which capture this idea. I've also heard of the hotel analogy.  Our life here is like staying in a hotel room but our true home will come after our death.

That hotel room still has a purpose for us and is to be used and appreciated.

If you want to go deeper on the concept of the unseen realm check out the book "The unseen realm" by Michael Heiser who died last last year. Also the Naked Truth podcast.

So what are lesser thoughts or things we should avoid focusing on?

Things of this world that do not honor God, that Satan has twisted and perverted. This can include things we might consider wholesome and good and G rated, but if focus on them too much, relying on them or making an idol of them, they become unholy and forbidden.

There is another category of things to avoid, in my opinion even worse than the things of this world.

Those are the unseen things that are not holy, set apart, that do not glorify God.

This of course includes overtly evil practices like witchcraft, divination, going to a palm reader, playing with a ouige board, but it also includes things that most believers dont' think are a big deal but are also wicked and to avoided strongly. I’m talking about using your imagination to take you to a place that does not glorify God. This can include pornography as well as imagining images and activities that do not glorify God.

Jesus raised the bar when it came to what is considered sin when he said that looking with lust and hating someone was the same as committing adultery and murdering someone.

God cares about what we do but He seems to really care about what we think about or more specifically what is in our heart.

1 Samuel 16:7 says "For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

If you have taken solace with your hands being clean but your mind being dirty, you are at risk of being hypocrites like the scribes and Pharisees who in Matt 23:27 Jesus said were "like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness."

The line can blur between the seen and unseen both with things that are holy and things that are unholy.

Just take this one verse as an example

So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.

1Pet.2.1ESV

In that one sentence is a mixture of unholy things that are tangible actions as well as our thoughts.

I used to freak out over this idea of controlling my thoughts, thinking I could not control them. I now know enough about God to know He would not ask me to do something I could not do, and in His love gives me the Holy Spirit to help me.

2 Cor 10:5 says "casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,"

1 Cor 10:13 says "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it"

John 14:16 Jesus says "And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever"

Martin Luther said, “You cannot keep birds from flying over your head but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.”

I think of my thoughts as I do all of the commandments, they are ways for me to show my love for my heavenly Father, not a bunch of don’t’s I have to avoid out of fear.

On the other side of obedience is a closer relationship with my Crestor and a life of joy and shalom.

So to summarize, two things to focus on are both holy, one is unseen and perfectly holy, the other is seen and a type or foreshadow of holiness, or you could say a little slice of heaven.

This is similar to the two commandments which is a summary of the law and prophets, to love God (unseen) and to love our neighbor as ourselves (seen). Note the second one has two parts to love our neighbor and ourselves.

The two things to avoid, or to put more strongly to rebuke, hate and reject, are the unholy things, both seen and unseen.

Another verse which captures this is Rom 12:2 "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

This is part of our human existence and Gods plan for us, at least as I’m beginning to understand and appreciate though will never fully comprehend since His ways are greater than my ways

if you're looking for an application for your work, remember that you spend so much of your waking hours at your job, if you're going to focus on holy things all the day, you have to do so at work.  Your work is a great example of where the unseen and seen come together in a beautiful way.

52 minutes.  One measure of a man and his life.

 

Red was the name he went by, from the color of his hair, but his name was Roger.

 

I met Red early on in my current job.

 

Our paths crossed due to our work, but we connected and enjoyed our time together based on our common love for God, for family, and for conservative politics.

While my shift away from focusing on politics change in recent years and I haven't been assigned jobs that had me working with Red as often, we still had a bond and I always enjoyed seeing him and even more so talking with him.

Red worked for a contracting firm that did work at the factory where I work.  Because of the constant need for repairs, maintenance and new equipments installations, Red was what was considered a resident contractor, meaning he wasn't an employee of the company but was there every day just as if he was one.  Just about everyone who knew him at work though of him as not just an employee but as family to some degree.

That's partly because of what he did, but more because of who he was.

What he did was do mechanical work at a level of excellence I haven't seen with anyone else I've worked with.  Red combined a high work ethic with skill, dedication, patience and a gentle spirit.  He never blamed anyone.  He took responsibility and he focused on what needed to get done not who got the credit.

He worked for his company for over 50 years and worked at our plant for over 20 years.  He was committed to his wife for life and to his kids and grandkids.

Red was a constant in a changing world.  He was often being assigned a partner with much less experience than him. With each one, I saw him intentionally try to pass along his knowledge to the less skilled person, along with patience and kindness.

Red recently died tragically.  The visitation and funeral were not far from the plant where I work so I decided to at least attend the funeral and pay my respects.

As I entered the funeral home I instantly heard the quiet buzz of chatter and hushed tones.  Then I saw the line.  I stretched throughout multiple hallways and was the path to meet and greet Red's family.  While in line I enjoyed sharing stories with others who appreciated Red.  No-one was there out of obligation.  They were there because they loved, at some level, the man everyone knew as Red.

52 minutes I waited in line to share with Red's wife, brother and children how much Red meant to me.

Red more than anyone else exemplified glorifying God through his work, while also cherishing his family.  He also demonstrated having convictions while not being divisive more than perhaps anyone I know.

The world and my workplace is not the same, and won't be the same, without Red.  I look forward to being with him in the glory that is to come, and cant' wait to see the great work the Father has in store for Him there.

And he said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return there. The Lord  gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Job 1:21

If we recognize the Father is the filter between us and any blessings in our lives, whether material or otherwise, we will have the proper perspective.

In Ecc Solomon talks about how our material things will pass on to others and not go with us when we die. We are truly stewards not owners of the things in our lives. As my Pastor says if we think we own our house and there’s no mortgage try not paying your taxes and see how long you own that house. I’m going through a separation process with the potential for a divorce and one of the many lessons I’ve learned through that process is how quickly material things can change and be taken from us as well as how unimportant they are compared to our relationships.

Recognizing our Father as a filter between us and the material things in our lives will help us have a better perspective on these things and prevent us from making idols of them or seeking our security in them.

 If we’re feeling thankful for our job, direct that thanks to Him. If we have a complaint about our job, complain to Him and ask Him to show You how you should properly think about that issue and how He may be working things for good through that issue.

 

And Jesus answered and said to him, “Get behind Me, Satan!  For it is written,  ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’  ”

Luke 4:8

Yeshua says to Satan here that we should only serve Yah, and yet Yeshua demonstrated serving others and called us to do the same.

Friend when serving wife says it’s for Him not her

Don’t have to keep score who’s giving more if we’re filtering our service through the Father, if we’re considering all of our service being for Him not others, though others may benefit from that service

My challenge for you in your work this week is to check in with yourself at lunchtime each day and think about the ways you served over the last 24 hours through your work, think about who you served.  Was it an individual, your employer?  If you can't honestly say you were primarily serving your Father, think about how your heart would have been different and how your service might have been different if you had.  Commit to Father Filtering over the next 24 hours.

 

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit “ Prov 18:21

“a fool’s voice is known by his many words.”

Ecclesiastes 5:3

“In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise” - Prov 10:19

James 1:19 says " let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;"

In corporate prayer my Pastor Julio Calderon challenged us to make sure that anything we say that day be more beautiful than silence

I've talked in the past many times about the power of our speech, particularly in our work.

One thing I don't I have discussed, however, is the power of the Father Filter in reverse.  Not only should we filter what we are about to say, we should also filter what we hear.

If someone speaks something to you and your instinct, your fleshly response, it to be offended by it, try to instead filter what they've said through Your Father and His Word.

If what someone is saying is true based on what God has to say about, even if it's paintful your correct response very well may be to say "I'm sorry, please forgive me, please pray for me, I'll try not to do that again".

if what someone has said is NOT true, or only half a truth, filter out the portion that is not true and, if possibly try not to let it bother.  Don't defend yourself or react negatively, just let it roll off your back.  I realize that it's easier said than done especially when you've conditioned to react to certain negative things spoke over you, but I believe this is so important that it's worth us trying to intentionally change the way we filter what we hear about ourselves and others.
Here are my three challenges I have for you this week in your work to apply Father Filtering with your speech, and if you want you can simplify by just picking one of the 3 to make it easier to apply:

1. Try to apply active listening technique with at least one person, specifically do not interrupt the person who's talking, and if you do, only repeat back to them what you think you heard they just said to you and them to confirm it's correct.   Resist the urge to share your wisdom, limit your speech to questions

2. Check in with your self lunch time every day and ask your self, did I speak more life or death with my words that morning?  Was what I said more beautiful than silence?

3. Next time someone says something to you at work our outside of work that is painful and that you want to react to defending yourself, ask the Father to show you what is true and what is not true.  If it's true, apologize, if it's not true don't react and let it go.  You may need some time in-between when you hear these words and your response and that may be best.