America’s First Nuclear Accident in 1961 | Episode 1

You ever wish you could just take all your worries and bury them away? Well have we got the episode for you…

On this episode: we’ll see what the loudest possible way to wake up is; we’ll learn how rocks can actually work better than scissors; and we’ll learn the three most powerful ways to eradicate evidence of, well, anything.

This is the first episode we’ve done where the site of the catastrophe later became an annual sporting event recreating the event. The Frank Rockslide Disaster of 1903 stands as one of the most devastating and tragic events in the history of Alberta and was claimed to be the worst disaster that has even befallen any community in Western Canada.

Celebrity guests include: miracle surfing baby, Gladys Ennis; billionaire playboy, C. Montgomery Burns; former Alberta Premier, Fred Haultain; torture marathoner, Sid Choquette; business magnate and former mayor of Butte Montana, Henry L. Frank; and his partner Samuel Wilford Gebo; Royal charter enthusiast, King Charles II of England; explorer and historical murder victim, Hudson; the 9th Duke of Argyll, John Campbell; doorag pioneer, Queen Victoria, and her daughter Princess Louise Caroline Alberta.

And if you had been listening on Patreon, you would have enjoyed an additional 15 minutes where we discussed:

• lawyers vs British bands

• we talked about how I used to write idiot letters to companies and the time I successfully conned an Industrial Spring company

• also the time it resulted in my being investigated as a possible threat to Canadian aviation

• the oldest companies in history

• the most powerful earthquake in Canadian history

• we spent some time on the Appalachian Trail hurting ourselves on the Mahoosic Notch

• looked at a town that will be on fire for the next few centuries

• and what happens when disaster tourism meets shotguns


If the idea of getting episodes a little early and ad-free with ridiculously interesting extra material strikes you as a good thing, you can find out more at:

www.patreon.com/funeralkazoo


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What I’m about to tell you in this episode will sound like nonsense – shocking, highly flammable nonsense – unless you’re from California.

On this episode: we’ll learn all about what it’s like to work at what I’m hoping is the worst utility company anywhere in the Americas, we’ll take a look at some of the most backwards and evil business accounting of all time, and we’ll learn what happens when a sidewalk explodes beneath your feet.

There is so much to be frustrated about while listening to today’s episode My heart goes out to the simple tax payers of California, whose backs must bear the lashes of being reliant on one of America’s very worst companies for their life-sustaining electricity – without whom this episode could not be possible.

Celebrity guests include: gas pipe bomber Monserrate Shirley, lightbulb dunce Thomas Edison, groundwater crusader Erin Brockovich, not-Santa, and King Henry the First of England.

And if you had been listening on Patreon, you would have enjoyed an additional 10 minutes where we discussed:

• the incredible medical weaponry known as the electric eel

• how a fruit company ruled entire countries with an iron fist

• the unlikely corporate-destroying legal Vunderkind Erin Brokovich

• an explanation on why you’re worth more to your employer dead than alive

• we debate the ethics of working on the Death Star

• and we also climbed into a Hellmouth

If the idea of getting episodes a little early and ad-free with ridiculously interesting extra material strikes you as a good thing, you can find out more at:

www.patreon.com/funeralkazoo

All older episodes can be found on any of your favorite channels

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We’re going back to Italy! But it’ll be hard to enjoy all the flavours and sites with your eyes and tongue swelling out of your head!

On today’s episode: we’ll learn all about Russia’s almost cartoonish fascination with murder, we’ll learn the best way to get that full-body boil-look, and we’ll learn all the ways your cleaning products can make you not make think so good

The last time we were in Italy we had a Tetraology of Terror, our very first interactive disastersode, and hundreds of thousands died in every way imaginable. We don’t know how many people died from the complications of this episode, but it’s nice to do a bloodless story where no one was turned inside-out every now and then.

And if you had been listening on Patreon, you would have enjoyed an additional 13 minutes!

• We discussed the cartoonish cloak and dagger world of Russian assassination tactics • the lifesaving and bowel cleaning properties of Olestra

• We discussed whether Catherine the Great had sex with horses

• We covered how disturbingly little vacation time North America gets compared to, well, the rest of the planet really

• We discussed the radiance of American superfund sites, including my semi-local favourite, Love Canal

• And I included a minisode within the episode telling the unbelievable tale of Times Beach, Missouri and their impossibly poisonous road spraying technique


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If you like the idea of your podcast hosts wearing more than duct tape and bits of old Halloween costumes for clothes and can spare a buck or two, you can now buy me a coffee at www.buymeacoffee.com/doomsday or join the patreon at www.funeralkazoo.com/doomsday

In this quick Hail Mary of an update, I'm going to convince each and every one of you to support this show through our shared love of history, and horror, and the comedy that is trauma + time. We'll recap all the tooth-loosening adventures we've shared over the past year, and take a look at a medley of content from the past few months of PATREON EXCLUSIVE content. If this doesn't win you over ... I'll just have to try harder.

If you like the idea of this show continuing without the sound of my family and traffic noises in the background, you can join us at www.funeralkazoo.com/doomsday any time.

If you have commitment issues, you can also buy me a coffee at www.buymeacoffee.com/doomsday

To quickly recap 2023:

• We took a rocket to the face
• We climbed the Empire State Building
• We fell down one of the world’s longest escalators
• We went to prison – until it burned down
• We went camping – until it burned down
• We drove off a bridge
• We fell through the roof of a factory while illegally watching a football game
• We surfed on toxic waste
• We blew up sewers
• And roller coasters
• And airplanes
• And one hell of a cannon
• We finally visited the Middle East, which wasn’t as much fun as we’d hoped
• We sank a boat
• We nearly choked to death on pollen of all things
• We even experienced an interactive tetraology of terror in 4D – a first in podcasting history

Not to mention all the mailbagging and minisoding

...


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What hops downstairs, alone or in pairs, enough to block out the sun? Nothing good, I promise. I hope you brought your appetite for destruction – because this episode is going to bug you.
On this episode: you’ll learn the horror of insect biomass, we’ll learn that some problems can only be solved with a knife and a fork, and you’ll need them because we are facing our very first extinction level event.

And if you had been listening to this on Patreon, we alsowould have discussed whether Aesop was a thieving jerk, we found out Maury Povich never loved you, we met the loneliest/most extreme insects in the world, we found out if having grasshopper superpowers would kill you, we looked at the weirdest historical plague ever, we discussed the most disturbing regional delicacies in the world, and we shared a recipe for cricket protein energy balls.

I never preach about environmental issues on the show, but you are going to hear about a kind of insect apocalypse that plays the weather the way my dad used to play the ponies. How big an issue will we be talking about? To this day, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, our story remains the largest concentration of living creatures, ever.

Celebrity cameos include the God of the Old Testament; biblical prophet Moses; the Angel of Death, Pharoah Ramesses II of Egypt; Aesop the Greek fable man; Frau Troffea, queen of the Strasbourg plague dance, and human guinea pig John Stapp.

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If you like the idea of your podcast hosts wearing more than duct tape and bits of old Halloween costumes for clothes and can spare a buck or two, you can now buy me a coffee at www.buymeacoffee.com/doomsday or join the patreon at www.funeralkazoo.com/doomsday

It’s been a while since we did an episode with such cartoonish levels of bloodshed and awful behaviour. No joke. This is next level inhumane nonsense here, folks.

On today’s episode: We’ll see what happens to the body after spinning around an ocean-going paddle wheel, we’ll see how much woman and children were worth in a disaster before the 1900s, and you’ll find out how bizarre it feels to be stabbed while presumedly waiting to sexually assault drowning victims.

And if you were listening on Patreon, you’d also learn how not to become a scurvy-riddled corpse, you’ll hear about the drunk driving death of the most isolated tree on Earth, we’ll see how many maggots or worms it would take to press into a porterhouse steak, we’ll discuss the worst, most blood-soaked maritime shipboard punishments, and we’ll even cover the tragicomic clown show that was the Costa Concordia crash of 2005.

I’ve said more than a thing or two here that might give you pause - but let me also tell you, by the time this thing is done, there’s gonna be a parade! Also, I shout out a bunch of new Patreon supporters, but I want to remind you all that there is more than enough room in my heart for all of you. I love and appreciate you all. Enjoy!


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If you are a regular listener, consider becoming a supporter. It would really help fulfill my dream of doing this full time. If you and a few thousand of your friends could spare a buck or two, you would really help keep the show alive. I think getting episodes a little early with no sponsor interruptions and with additional, ridiculously interesting material in each new episode is worth it.

If you agree, you can find out more at patreon.com/funeralkazoo

You can also buy me a coffee at www.buymeacoffee.com/doomsday

This episode contains fart jokes about radiation victims. Viewer discretion is advised.

On today’s episode: we’ll watch POWs compete for food in a House Hunters International style format, we’ll visit some of the more irradiated places in eastern Europe, and we’ll learn the difference between a burp and a fart explosion-wise.

I’d also like to point out that if you were listening to this episode as a PATREON member, not only would you have heard it sooner and add-free, but this episode would be almost 10 minutes longer as we looked into dead cold war spies, the Instagrammers of the Siberian Maldives, the British sci-fi show lifted directly from this disaster and placed on the moon - Space 1999, the awful reality of nuclear dirty bombs, we visited the single most nuked place on earth, we learn why meteors pretty much have no choice but to kill us, and I gave you a chance to get in on the ground floor of my bullet ant stinging business

The 1957 Kyshtym Disaster is recognized as the world's first truly major nuclear disaster, ranking third in severity behind only Chernobyl and Fukushima Daiichi. And yet, despite its incredible pedigree and importance, knowledge of it has faded or slipped purposefully into history’s dustbin, largely unknown to the rest of the world


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If you like the idea of your podcast hosts wearing more than duct tape and bits of old Halloween costumes for clothes and can spare a buck or two, you can now buy me a coffee at www.buymeacoffee.com/doomsday or join the patreon at www.funeralkazoo.com/doomsday

This episode contains fart jokes about radiation victims. Viewer discretion is advised.

On today’s episode: we’ll watch POWs compete for food in a House Hunters International style format, we’ll visit some of the more irradiated places in eastern Europe, and we’ll learn the difference between a burp and a fart explosion-wise.

I’d also like to point out that if you were listening to this episode as a PATREON member, not only would you have heard it sooner and add-free, but this episode would be almost 10 minutes longer as we looked into dead cold war spies, the Instagrammers of the Siberian Maldives, the British sci-fi show lifted directly from this disaster and placed on the moon - Space 1999, the awful reality of nuclear dirty bombs, we visited the single most nuked place on earth, we learn why meteors pretty much have no choice but to kill us, and I gave you a chance to get in on the ground floor of my bullet ant stinging business

The 1957 Kyshtym Disaster is recognized as the world's first truly major nuclear disaster, ranking third in severity behind only Chernobyl and Fukushima Daiichi. And yet, despite its incredible pedigree and importance, knowledge of it has faded or slipped purposefully into history’s dustbin, largely unknown to the rest of the world




Find us on any of your favorite channels

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If you like the idea of your podcast hosts wearing more than duct tape and bits of old Halloween costumes for clothes and can spare a buck or two, you can now buy me a coffee at www.buymeacoffee.com/doomsday or join the patreon at www.funeralkazoo.com/doomsday

You’ve flown on planes that were late. You’ve flown on planes that experienced turbulence. You’ve even flown on planes with unruly passengers, but I’m willing to be you’ve never flown on a plane that melted.

On today’s episode: we’ll do our best not to end up headless in prison, you’ll learn the most disturbing thing to ever unintentionally fall from an airplane in aeronautic history, and we’ll find out if Canadians are actually evil. I’d also like to point out that if you were listening to this episode as a Patreon member, not only would you have heard it sooner and add-free, but this episode would be almost 15 minutes longer as we looked into why your maps suck, the death of flat earthers, the world-changing power of informercials, the Great Oman Cyclone of 1970, oh - I taught you how to become rich, and we touch on about a half dozen other ways people have died terribly in the east.

So if you had visited Mecca at any point in the last 220+ years, there is a chance you might have seen anything from a cartoonishly flattened foot to a stack of bodies too tall to see over. But thankfully, a very slim mathematical chance. And what don’t we take on this show? Slim mathematical chances. Doomsday has the safest, most well-prepared listenership in the world. Has your second favourite podcast ever tried to save your life?


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If you like the idea of your podcast hosts wearing more than duct tape and bits of old Halloween costumes for clothes and can spare a buck or two, you can now buy me a coffee at www.buymeacoffee.com/doomsday or join the patreon at www.funeralkazoo.com/doomsday

By popular demand, we are staying in the Depression Era and doubling down on the disaster. We’ve done blended and mixed disasters before, but welcome to our very first two-fer plane and elevator episode.

On today’s episode: you’ll hear about the highest stakes game of keep-away ever, the worst kind of airline fuel to use as shampoo, and you’ll hear about a woman who broke a table in half with her face before setting a world record for not dying. And speaking of tid bits and tangents, I’d like to point out that if you were listening to this episode as a Patreon member, not only would you have heard it sooner and add-free, but this episode would be almost 10 MINUTES longer as we looked into the most unusual “self-guided tours” off the Empire State Building, how easy it was to score free smack in 1945, the legend of Killdozer, and a conspiracy-free take on how cheap real estate contributed to 9/11

By the end of this episode, you won’t believe how many people have flown into NYC - literally. The B-25 crash was so intense and bizarre, it actually pushed actual World War II off the front pages of newspapers – for about a minute. But, as does happen throughout history, it was all but immediately purged from the public memory by the bombing of Hiroshima just a week later


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I want to thank my Patreon listeners. I appreciate you,, and I thank you for your support. And if you are a regular listener, consider becoming a supporter. It would really help fulfill my dream of doing this full time. If you and a few thousand of your friends could spare a buck or two, you would really help keep the show alive.

I think getting episodes a little early with no sponsor interruptions and with additional, ridiculously interesting material in each new episode is worth it. If you agree, you can find out more at patreon.com/funeralkazoo