An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 35

This episode is either my most audacious or obnoxious effort yet. Perhaps both. YOU DECIDE! I respond to those who say I should quit "this charade," help a client not worry about Biden's age by explaining he is not actually driving the nation's bus and make an elaborate and calming Star Wars analogy as to which of that movie's characters Biden represents, and somehow Bill Clinton, interns, the Communications act of 1996, how FOX became a thing, unintended consequences that drove down our national IQ, Lent and chocolate, Trump's character, an artificial intelligence TV commercial with Jesus Christ endorsing a presidential candidate and more all gets packed into a SFX laden mashup that's over in just 17 minutes. You don't have much to lose. SUBSCRIBE and THRIVE!!!!!

You've heard of the Emergency Broadcast Sytem?  The FCC has chosen my podcast to be part of the Emergency Podcast System and I am very pleased to help out.  A client wants to sue after getting into an accident after reading one of those funny road signs some cities and states put up. I give advice. A mother wanted help getting their son's teacher to give him a better grade and I respond. A new client has a morality question about one of the most unique problems I've ever heard concerning playing online poker against an unaware neighbor and binoculars. Ever see an old lady have to crawl away from the communion rail because she couldn't stand up? Is it wrong to find it funny? What would Jesus do? Did Jesus ever make body noise? Would it be funny? What was the worst introduction I was ever given as a comedian? And I use more SFX in this episode than any other. Subscribe and THRIVE!!! 

Did you know the Boy Scout Motto is one of my life's guiding concepts but not the Boy Scout Oath?  What does trying to save a drowning person and talking to a Trump Supporter have in common?  An angry wife whose husband called her an "old bag" on vacation asks for some quick help to save that vacation.  I have a solution.  What does the Pony Express have to do with the phrase "old bag?"  Is it ever good to return a hurtful comment with a hurtful comment?  A listenr wonders why their doctor doesn't check his prostate anymore and I try to help explain it.  Do you have a prostate exam joke ready to go at your yearly check up?  I do.  How does your voting history affect whether you get a prostrate exam?  Can you raise a moral person without religion?  What is the only downside to having raised my daughter without any awareness of God?  An evangelical Christian with bowel issues asks if there is any situation where it is OK to lie.  Is lying to a spouse the same sin as lying to a stranger on a bus?  Does Ohio have a problem?  You've got questions.  I've got answers.  Subscribe and THRIVE!

Wouldn't it be nice to know what the future holds?  Well, now you can.  In this episode I give my annual "They will all come true or your money back, totally guaranteed" predictions for 2024.  Find out who will be President, the new changes in baseball, what new crypto currencies to avoid, the next steps in climate change, will Aaron Rodgers ever shut up, will there be a gay float in the Macy's Day Parade and many more bankable prognostications for the next twelve months.  I know the future.  Now you can, too.  Did you ever think I'd find a religion I could recommend?  I have and my support for this religion hinges on a friend who played hockey without a cup and how that relates to Deuteronomy 23:1.  All this in just 15 minutes.  So much to gain, nothing to lose--Subscribe and THRIVE!   

In episode 106 I respond to negative feedback about episode 105 and just let me say, to the Uber Left, if you're all about protecting the oppressed... protect me because now I am the oppressed... by you.  Also, is religion 'a' or 'the' problem in the world?  What is the true meaning of Christmas for Americans?  I have audio of my then 6 year old daughter describing exactly what Christmas means and it's adorable.  Can a whole ethnicity ever be said to be bad drivers and it not be racist?  Does emotion mess up your perception of reality?  And would an AI remake of "It's A Wonderful Life" into "It's A Wonderful Lust" starring Donna Reed and Jimmy Stewart as you've never seen them before be immoral or the best Christmas movie ever?  This is 16 minutes you won't mind wasting.  Subscribe and THRIVE!!!!

A client has asked his Life Coach/Spiritual Guru (me) to answer the most most provocative question I've ever been asked-"Is today's Uber Left too liberal to be critical of Muslims?"  In this episode I take the bait and skate out onto super thin ice to discuss the Left and Right, Muslims and Jews and Christians, Palestine and Israel, hot dogs vs. kabobs, Jesus vs. Muhammed, "The Blues Brothers" movie and the ACLU, the Immaculate Conception, kudzu vines, who owns the moon, maintaining your spot on the coach by saying "saved," why Catholics celebrate the day Jesus was born but not conceived, the funniest thing my daughter has ever said and more in an attempt to answer that question.  I sincerely apologize in advance if you hate my answer or for even having attempted one.  And all that happens in just 17 minutes.  Subscribe and THRIVE!!!!  

In episode #104 I respond to ongoing blowback from younger generations who want me to just "Die Baby Boomer, die."  If you hate disco is it because you're racist or homophobic?  Or just have good taste?  A new client has a dilemma over her daughter's unique name and that name being mocked by a former friend, I try to help by revisting the story of Udo Whonall.  Should a woman who stole a man from another woman attend that man's funeral if the woman who had him first insists the home wrecker not be there?  Why are Beatles records and funerals inextricably linked in my mind? Another new client wonders if the evil internet is spying on him or is he just being paranoid and what does all that have to do with enlarged prostates and self-examination?  All this happens in under 18 minutes. Subscribe and THRIVE!  Enlightenment is just a click away.

In episode 103 I answer continuing questions from you listeners about my recent memory failings and credibility as a Life Coach and Spiritual Guru. My memory is fine. Can you recall with certainty what you wore to your High School Prom? I can. My pants were the color of Trix breakfast cereal and I have pictures to prove it. Although, I am pretty sure I never opened for the Great Raspini. So, yes, some past memories of mine might be... unfounded. Some of you were offended by my blaming disco for turning America to Reagan-- I explain the connection. And Baby Boomers--are we to blame for the world's ills? Younger generations think so and I set out to prove they are wrong... at least about a lot of us Boomers being the problem as well as which ones are to blame. But, if it's true we Boomers saw the the world's doors as always open to us I think I know why. All that in under 15 minutes. With Sound Effects galore. Subscribe and THRIVE!!! 

A shocking new revelation about the past has led me to seriously question my own memory and thus abilities to be a Life Coach. I'm asking myself questions like-Who am I? Do I really exist? Did I really get an archery merit badge while tripping on mescaline? Did I ever open for a magician named The Great Raspini? Can we even marginally trust the jury system and eye witness accounts? And why being a music snob and disc jockey helped me see how disco and the current state of the Republican Party are inextricably linked. Also, if you're dumping on Biden you're a knob. All in 16:16 of snappy paced banter. Subscribe and THRIVE!

In this episode I respond to conservatives who believe liberals want to give sex toys to kindergartners, warn them they are going to Hell (if it exists) because of this lie, the what you win/what you lose equation for Drag Queen Story Hour performers reading to kids in libraries, I help a woman whose husband treats her like a verbal punching bag by targeting her with jokes and how to stop it, discuss the traits of resilient people and offer a newsletter tip sheet for unresilient people having trouble living in troubled times and reveal why a great uncle working for the Irish Mob in Chicago may have helped me become a Life Coach, all in under 17 minutes. Subscribe and THRIVE!!!!!!