BANG! Season 2 Episode 4: Man O' Man

Sex positivity is the idea that all sex, provided it's healthy and explicitly consensual, is good. But what happens when a complicated theoretical idea like sex positivity gets packaged up for the mainstream? And which voices are missing from the conversation?

What you think of as kinky and what I think of as kinky might be two different things, but it generally means behaviours and fantasies outside of the sexual 'norm'. In this episode, Melody talks with a bunch of kinky people about what gets them off and why, learns some great lessons about consent and asks the question - is it best we brought these practices out in the open, or are they best left behind closed doors?

It's a BANG! takeover! RNZ Nights host Bryan Crump is joined in the studio by Melody Thomas and father-daughter sex advice duo Nic and Lena Beets, to answer questions from the audience and talk about common difficulties faced by people in long term relationships.

Recorded at Bats Theatre in Wellington as part of the NZ Fringe Festival, this is BANG! Live. Featuring Tawa mum and sex toy expert Abby Lund, Morgana Watson on menstruation in Te Ao Maori prior to colonisation plus how to use your cycle to your advantage, and father-daughter sex and relationship advice duo Nic and Lena Beets answer audience questions.

Ethical non monogamy is nothing new - but an increasing number of people are giving it a go. Research from the US reports that 4-5% of people identify as polyamorous, and 20% have tried a version of ethical non monogamy at some point in their lives. Here in NZ, memberships in polyamory Facebook groups and on websites like nzswingers.co.nz continue to grow. Melody Thomas speaks with ethically non-monogamous kiwis about how they manage their relationships, and experts offer some advice.

In Sex At Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality, co-authors Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha take what they call the "standard narrative" of human sexual evolution and re-examine it through a different lens: suggesting that sexual exclusivity was not a part of our ancestor's expectations around relationships. Highlighting research in the fields of primatology, anthropology, evolutionary psychology and biology, Christopher Ryan tells Melody Thomas that monogamy is far from "natural" for our species, and that we'd have a much easier time with it if we went in informed.

We all know how it goes - two people meet, they fall in love, they decide to get married and live happily ever after. We've heard different versions of this story so many times, many of us never stop to ask if it's what we want for ourselves, or whether there are other options. In this episode, author of Sex at Dawn Christopher Ryan explains what we can learn about monogamy from our hunter-gatherer ancestors, kiwi couples share some of the ups and downs of decades together, and sex therapist Nic Beets provides valuable advice

Research shows that putting a name to a feeling helps manage it. In this episode, three BANG! listeners talk about things they've struggled with and the steps they've taken to deal with them, plus father-daughter sex advice duo Nic and Lena Beets step in with practical advice. Today's topics: vaginismus, erectile dysfunction and period sex.

Didn't you know? It's 20-bi-teen! What better time to get schooled on the ins and outs of bisexuality. In this ep, a couple from season 2 return to talk about the difference between being bi and pansexual, and what it's like when everyone around them assumes they're straight. Plus queer author and columnist Emily Writes comes out in her 30s and we ask some bi and pan teens if biphobia is something they're familiar with.

Live from the Bread and Circus Festival in Christchurch, Melody Thomas puts your sex and relationship questions to father-daughter sex advice duo Nic and Lena beets, plus Gemma Syme talks about coming out in her thirties, Tara from Peaches and Cream shares her better work stories and Audrey pops in with one of the best sex toy stories ever told.