Brené on FFTs

Podcast Summary

• Exploring new experiences for growth: New experiences, whether with Apple Card, Juntos, or a podcast, can be uncomfortable but lead to personal and financial growth

  Embracing new experiences, whether big or small, can be vulnerable and uncomfortable, but necessary for growth. Apple Card offers daily cashback and a high annual percentage yield on savings, encouraging financial growth. Meanwhile, Juntos celebrates Latin culture and offers a variety of content on Prime. Unlocking Us, a new podcast by Brené Brown, explores the vulnerability of being new, emphasizing that pushing through the discomfort is essential for personal development. Whether it's a new job, a new Peloton bike, or a new podcast, the journey may be tough, but the rewards are worth it.

• Embrace discomfort as foundation of courage: By trying new things and being willing to feel uncomfortable, we can continue to grow and live a vibrant life.

  Being new and learning something new can be challenging and uncomfortable, but it's important for growth and living a fulfilling life. The speaker shared personal experiences of struggling with clipping into a bike and getting bangs again after many years, and how these experiences brought up feelings of vulnerability and fear of judgment. However, she emphasized that giving up on new experiences and avoiding discomfort can lead to stagnation and decline. The speaker encouraged embracing the discomfort of being a beginner and learning to normalize it as the foundation of courage. By trying new things and being willing to feel uncomfortable, we can continue to grow and live a vibrant life. The quote "get busy living or get busy dying" from Shawshank Redemption highlights this idea.

• Navigating uncomfortable experiences with the FFT strategy: Identifying and naming uncomfortable experiences as FFTs can help normalize discomfort, put things in perspective, and give us the power to overcome them

  Embracing new experiences, even the uncomfortable and vulnerable ones, can lead to growth and resilience. The FFT strategy, or "Fucking First Times," is a helpful tool for navigating these moments. By identifying and naming the experience as an FFT, we can normalize the discomfort, put it in perspective, and reality check our expectations. This process gives us the power to affect change and achieve purpose, rather than letting the experience control us. Remember, when we name and own hard things, it doesn't give them power, it gives us the power to overcome them. So the next time you're facing a new and intimidating situation, try using the FFT strategy to help you get through it. And if you're teaching your kids this strategy, you can call it TFT, or "Terrible First Times," to make it more kid-friendly.

• Navigating First-Time Experiences: Acknowledging and Normalizing Feelings: Recognizing and accepting the natural ups and downs of first-time experiences is crucial for managing emotions and staying motivated as we navigate new situations. Initial reactions may be negative and it's normal to feel unsure or uncomfortable.

  First-time experiences (FTTs) can often be met with unrealistic expectations, leading to disappointment and negative emotions. This phenomenon was discussed using the example of being new to a 12-step program and attending meetings. The speaker explained that initial reactions to new experiences can involve feelings of superiority, frustration, and discomfort. However, by acknowledging and normalizing these feelings, we can put things in perspective and start to make progress. Another example given was the speaker's own experience with podcasting, which she had tried over a decade ago but gave up due to technical difficulties. Now, she's trying again, and although she's encountering new challenges, she's reframing them as part of the learning process. In essence, recognizing and accepting the natural ups and downs of first-time experiences is crucial for managing our emotions and staying motivated as we navigate new situations. Whether it's attending a gymnastics class, starting a new job, or embarking on a creative project, understanding that initial reactions may be negative and that it's normal to feel unsure or uncomfortable can help us stay resilient and open to growth.

• Stay true to yourself and embrace uncertainty when starting a new project: Starting a new project? Stay authentic, acknowledge fear, and learn from mistakes to navigate uncertainty successfully

  Starting a new project, especially during uncertain times, can be challenging and may require us to adapt and be flexible. Brene Brown, in sharing her experience of starting a podcast, highlights the importance of staying true to oneself and not trying to mimic others. She also emphasizes the value of acknowledging and normalizing the fear and uncertainty that comes with new experiences, and encourages perspective-taking to help navigate through the challenges. Despite the initial hiccups and setbacks, Brene reminds us that it's okay to make mistakes and learn along the way. Ultimately, the key is to embrace the uncertainty and keep moving forward.

• Navigating the challenges of a first-time experience: First-time experiences can be harder and more challenging than anticipated, but they're essential for growth and learning. Embrace the discomfort and unexpected obstacles as valuable lessons for the future.

  The First-Time Experience (FTE or FFT) can be much harder and more challenging than initially anticipated, whether it's in personal life or professional endeavors. The reality check involves recognizing that it will take longer and require more resources than expected, and embracing the emotional and physical heaviness that comes with it. Additionally, unexpected obstacles, such as setting up a podcast room or dealing with advertising, can add to the challenge. Despite the initial discomfort, these experiences are essential for growth and learning, and serve as valuable lessons for the future. Remember, it's okay to feel overwhelmed and even "wobbly" during the FTE, as vulnerability and uncertainty are natural parts of the process.

• The Importance of Authenticity and Setting Expectations in Advertising: Be truthful about your feelings towards ads and only promote what you genuinely love. Authenticity and transparency build trust with your community and set realistic expectations for external partners.

  Authenticity and setting realistic expectations are key in effective communication, especially in advertising. The speaker shares personal memories of influential women in her life who were persuasive advertisers, but expresses anxiety about her own advertising role due to fear of embarrassment and shame. Her team encouraged her to normalize the experience and set expectations, both for herself and for external partners. In the end, she decided to be truthful about her feelings towards the ads and only promote what she genuinely loves, using her own stories to connect with her community. The speaker's experience highlights the importance of authenticity and transparency in advertising, as well as the power of setting and managing expectations.

• Normalizing uncertainty and fear: During uncertain times, normalize the situation, adjust expectations, name and feel emotions, and stay connected through regular check-ins

  During times of uncertainty and fear, it's essential to normalize the situation, put it in perspective, check expectations, and name and feel our emotions. The current COVID-19 pandemic is a collective experience of the unknown, and it's okay not to have all the answers. We're all learning and adapting together. Expectations can lead to resentment, so it's crucial to acknowledge and adjust them. Naming our emotions and sharing them with others can provide a sense of safety and security, even during uncertain times. We don't have to hide our feelings or try to make everything certain for our kids to make them feel safe. Instead, we can model uncertainty and help them understand that it's a natural part of life. Regular check-ins with ourselves and others can also help us stay connected and support each other through this collective FFT.

• Expressing emotions during uncertain times: Validate emotions, reality check, set expectations, be cautious of false promises, and take care of self

  During uncertain times, expressing and acknowledging our emotions is essential for making meaning and building connection. It's natural to feel a range of emotions, from anxious to disappointed, and it's important to remember that perspective is a function of experience. Parents should validate their children's feelings rather than diminishing them, as this lack of perspective is not a sign of selfishness but a normal part of growing up. Reality checking and setting realistic expectations are crucial for maintaining patience and understanding with ourselves and others. In times of vulnerability, it's important to be cautious of those who promise certainty and to seek out reliable sources of information. Lastly, taking care of ourselves through exercise, sleep, and connection with others can help us navigate through difficult conversations and tough times.

• The importance of connection and community during challenging times: Listen to 'Unlocking Us' podcast for insights on love, relationships, and what it means to be human with special guests Tarana Burke and Glennon Doyle.

  Learning from this podcast discussion is the importance of connection and community, even in challenging times. The hosts emphasized their commitment to continuing their podcast every Wednesday, and even adding extra episodes the following week with special guests Tarana Burke and Glennon Doyle. Tarana Burke, the founder of the Me Too movement, shares insights on love and relationships, while Glennon Doyle discusses her new book "Untamed," which is a must-read for these times according to the hosts. These conversations aim to help listeners learn, get braver, and understand what it means to be human in this complex world. The podcast "Unlocking Us" is produced by Brene Brown Education and Research Group, and listeners can follow it on their favorite podcast apps to get new episodes as soon as they're published. This podcast is part of the Vox Media Podcast Network and features music by Carrie Rodriguez and Gina Chavez.