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    Can you choose your child's friends? | Choosing friends for our daughters.

    enDecember 15, 2021

    About this Episode

    As a father and a parent, do we have a say in who our daughters become friends with? What if they are not the right fit for them? Can they be lead astray or in the wrong direction? Prashant and Scott tackle this interesting theme of friendship, bullying and letting your child experience the diversity of cultures and attitudes on their own. Please join Prashant and Scott as they share their own experiences with love and laughter.

    Recent Episodes from Aligned Dad

    Choosing a favorite child, Babysitting and Friendships, Nick Cave and Finding Enjoyment in Creativity

    Choosing a favorite child, Babysitting and Friendships, Nick Cave and Finding Enjoyment in Creativity

    00:01:25 "Cartoon series explores wisdom, war, and family dynamics"
    00:07:21 Sibling jealousy and bond strengthening over time.
    00:11:43 Different actions demand attention differently; Violet acts out when ignored.
    00:16:44 Complex family dynamics affect sibling relationships.
    00:19:41 Balancing act of showing love to children.
    00:25:05 Friends babysit, create community for kid-free time.
    00:30:15 Preparations for outing: clothes, food, pram. Logistic improvisation required. Dietary differences discussed.
    00:32:14 Nut-free diet essential for allergic kids.
    00:36:03 Malaysia stopover, snacks on flight to Perth.
    00:40:34 Louis Thoreau explores extreme communities in documentaries. Nick Cave's podcast covers his career and faith.
    00:49:00 Challenging artist goes all-in, opens up.
    00:49:47 Conflict in music career due to film industry. Uncomfortable with creative collaboration. Peaceful, happy with chosen work. Connection with Nick Cave.


    00:53:12 Films, music, a quick chat, intense viewing.On this episode of Aligned Dad, Scott and Prashant dive into the deep and complex world of being a parent. They discuss the importance of expressing love to their children and the challenges of finding the right balance between independence and parental affection. 

    Scott shares a heartwarming personal example of how he expressed his love for his child during a car journey, reducing the music volume just to verbally remind them of how loved they are. They emphasize that these expressions of love come from the heart and are never forced. 

    They also discuss the preparations and flexibility needed for traveling with children, including the importance of packing all the essentials and being open to adjusting plans if necessary. They express curiosity about dietary differences between countries and the challenges they face with nut allergies in various food establishments. 

    In addition to tackling the complexities of parenthood, Scott and Prashant explore the world of film composition and the struggles that come with staying true to their creative vision. They share their decision to be more selective in their projects and not conform to current trends, finding happiness and peace in their authentic approach.

    The conversation then takes a turn towards sibling dynamics and the speaker's experiences of feeling less loved by one parent compared to their sibling. They discuss the cultural context in India and how it leads to conflicts within families. They also touch on the importance of communication and prioritizing quality time with each child, even in the face of work demands.

    Scott talks about the benefits of building a community of support among friends and families, discussing the idea of taking turns babysitting each other's children. They believe that creating such a sense of community can be extremely beneficial, especially for someone like Prashant who has moved away from their homeland.

    Throughout the episode, Scott and Prashant tackle thought-provoking questions about the purpose and impact of art. They explore the viewpoints of musicians like Nick Cave and filmmakers like Louis Thoreau, and wonder whether art should solely be for enjoyment or if it should also provoke thought.

    Tune in to this episode of Aligned Dad for an insightful and heartfelt discussion on parenting, creativity, and the intricacies of maintaining balance in a world full of love and challenges.

    Gabor Mate, Giving Control, Sleep Training, Healing Childhood Trauma, Letting Go of Shame in Parenting

    Gabor Mate, Giving Control, Sleep Training, Healing Childhood Trauma, Letting Go of Shame in Parenting

    "On this episode of Aligned Dad, we dive into the topic of giving control, exploring various aspects of parenting and personal growth. We start by discussing the challenges faced by a speaker who lacked knowledge about handling babies due to the absence of grandparents. They share their experience of dealing with sleep issues with their second child and how they discovered the concept of a sleep coach or consultant. Alongside this, we also explore the speaker's journey of encouraging their child's artistic talents and the importance of fostering creativity. Moving on, we discuss the concept of giving control to children in their learning and the benefits it can bring in terms of skill development and resourcefulness. We provide examples of individuals pursuing their passions with the support of their parents, highlighting the positive outcomes of allowing children to take charge. Additionally, we touch upon the concept of detachment in relationships and the significance of practicing wisdom and personal choice. We explore the ideas of detoxification, embracing imperfections, and the process of self-improvement. Furthermore, we shed light on the experiences of a sleep training program and the positive impact it has had on the speaker's family. Lastly, we delve into the relationship between childhood trauma and its effects on one's physical and mental well-being. Drawing inspiration from Gabor Mate's work, we discuss the importance of understanding and healing trauma to reconnect with one's authentic self. Join us on this episode of Aligned Dad as we explore these diverse aspects of parenting and personal growth."

    Father's Day Founder, Al Pacino a 83-Year-Old Dad, Mike Tyson Knocked Out by His Daughter, Indians Traveling with Babies, Sense of Humor in Parenting

    Father's Day Founder, Al Pacino a 83-Year-Old Dad, Mike Tyson Knocked Out by His Daughter, Indians Traveling with Babies, Sense of Humor in Parenting

    "On this episode of Aligned Dad, we cover a wide variety of topics related to fatherhood, including some interesting news stories such as Al Pacino becoming a father at 83 years old and Mike Tyson getting knocked out by his daughter. We also discuss the challenges of traveling with babies, particularly in Indian culture, and how flight authorities have implemented a personal instructional program for parents. Father's Day is also a key theme, as we reflect on personal memories of childhood and giving gifts to our fathers. Humor in difficult situations is another topic we explore, as we share personal experiences of feeling overwhelmed with parenthood and finding alone time as a couple. Additionally, we delve into cultural differences in showing affection to parents and appropriate gifts for Father's Day in Indian culture. The episode concludes with the inspiring story of Sonora Smart Dodd, who established Father's Day to honor fathers like her own single-parent and civil war veteran father. 

    But that's not all! We also discuss the importance of self-care for dads, and how taking care of ourselves can ultimately benefit our families. We talk about the ups and downs of parenting, sharing personal stories of both the hilarious and frustrating moments that come with raising kids. In addition, we explore the topic of father-daughter relationships, discussing the unique bond between dads and their daughters and how it evolves over time. Finally, we end the episode on a lighter note by sharing some of our favorite dad jokes and puns. 

    Tune in to Aligned Dad for a thoughtful, entertaining, and comprehensive discussion on all things fatherhood."

    --
    [00:00:23] The speaker and family went to Sydney for a friend's birthday, faced challenges with sick children and hectic schedules, but realized they appreciated their own lives more when comparing to their busy friends. They enjoyed exploring Sydney and reconnecting with the city. They are now back home.
    [00:06:35] Indians travel with babies causing annoyance on flights, airlines in India implemented personal instruction for parents on how to ease the discomfort of babies during takeoff and landing.
    [00:08:40] Al Pacino, 83, is expecting a baby with his 29-year-old girlfriend, making him a member of Hollywood's "old dad" club alongside Robert De Niro who recently had his 7th child at 79. Unknown potential effects discussed.
    [00:14:34] A father struggles to keep up with daughter's active friends, worried about disappointing her. He understands the importance of not making excuses and being present for your child. Aging actors in Hollywood also mentioned.
    [00:18:08] The speaker discusses feeling overwhelmed while reading a Dr. Seuss book and finding a passage that resonates with them during a difficult time in parenthood, specifically with two young children. They express a lack of personal time and discuss the daily routine of taking care of their kids. They ultimately reflect on the overall positivity of their life.
    [00:23:16] Parenting is a beautiful journey of connecting with children at their level, allowing for pure and simple understanding.
    [00:26:15] A father shares his perspective on parenting, letting children form their own thoughts and enjoying the journey.
    [00:28:36] Father's Day created by 16-year-old girl to honor her single father. Dodd's campaign started in 1910 and gained support for national holiday, signed by President Nixon in 1972. First Father's Day card designed by Dodd's daughter. Celebrated on third Sunday in June, except in Australia (September).
    [00:35:13] Speaker recalls childhood memories with dad but nothing stands out as a Father's Day gift. They now make him tea in bed. Asks the interviewer if they have any memories of their own dad.
    [00:37:12] Indian kids don't typically express love verbally to their dads; instead, they show affection through warm hugs. Stereotypical gifts include ties, belts, and shaving kits, but the author suggests considering more tender and unique gifts for Father's Day.
    [00:41:39] Cultural influence made saying "I love you" uncommon in middle and upper class families in India, especially for kids who didn't have exposure to international media; now it's different for some.
    [00:44:12] Summary: Cricket match between Australia and India, with Australia currently leading. Discussion transitions to "dad reflexes," showcasing a video of a dad performing a superhuman act.
    [00:46:58] Podcast discusses the reflexes of a father saving his children, and Mike Tyson's playful banter with his daughter, highlighting the importance of having a sense of humor as a parent.
    [00:50:36] The speaker finds humor in everyday situations, including accidentally saying a bad word in front of his daughter.
    [00:54:43] Humor is used as a tool among family members to get things done easily and light-heartedly. They have their own inside jokes, weaknesses and strengths. They prefer using humor rather than force or anger to manipulate each other.
    [00:57:21] Unspecified topics covered; ask for review and feedback; hosts work hard; thank audience and sign off.

    Alex Hormozi's Dad, Parenting Styles, Mobile Addiction, Immigrant Experience and Essentialism Approach to a Healthier Lifestyle

    Alex Hormozi's Dad, Parenting Styles, Mobile Addiction, Immigrant Experience and Essentialism Approach to a Healthier Lifestyle

    On this episode of Aligned Dad, we dive into a heartwarming story of an older woman who won $2 million in the lottery after spending her life savings caring for her daughter with breast cancer. However, the discussion also raises questions about the healthcare system in the US, compared to Australia, where the speaker had a baby in a public hospital, and didn't have to pay anything. The episode also explores mobile addiction, parenting style, and the immigrant experience. Prashant Pillai shares a powerful perspective, comparing mobile phones to cigarettes and how essentialism can help limit stimulation for a healthier lifestyle. Lastly, there's a focus on parenting philosophy with an interesting story about Samir Joshi, who believes in not providing his son with luxury, and instead, letting him experience discomfort.

    --

    [00:00:10] The author reflects on playing with kids at a friend's birthday, the lack of playtime with his own father, and his current personal struggles.
    [00:07:16] Parents take turns picking up their daughter from school, and occasionally they worry about her safety while she plays in a nearby park. They try to teach her to be cautious and avoid potential dangers, but ultimately they have to trust her to make her own decisions and learn from her own mistakes. They also discuss a funny incident involving children urinating under a tree in the park.
    [00:13:43] Are we doing too much to shield our children from hardships, resulting in entitlement and not listening to our advice?
    [00:20:53] A father refuses to buy a luxury car to teach his son the value of hard work and not taking privileges for granted.
    [00:26:33] Mobile phones can be beneficial for therapy only if they are used in moderation and the content is positive. However, most people are addicted to constant stimulation, which can be harmful to their mental health. Limiting exposure to external stimuli can help people make better decisions and respond instead of reacting impulsively. The author believes in living an essentialist lifestyle with limited material possessions and regulated access to technology.
    [00:32:18] Entrepreneur Alex Hormozy faced pressure to please his father and gain approval, which caused anxiety and caused him to do things he didn't like. He had to choose between sacrificing his own desires to please his father or pursuing his own path. He chose to prioritize his own happiness and left home to become successful. The quote highlights the forceful imposition of struggle on immigrant kids by parents who want them to follow specific principles or else their life will end up in disaster.
    [00:36:40] The speaker discusses how upbringing affects parenting, their father's immigration story, and their personal struggle to follow their own path instead of their father's expectations. They also mention learning about their father's past and how it helped them understand him better.
    [00:44:59] An uplifting story about an older woman in Florida winning $2 million after spending her life savings on her daughter's cancer treatment. The undercurrent is the dire US healthcare system, prompting comments on Reddit about why one has to go to such extremes to get proper healthcare. The author discusses the healthcare system in Australia, which provides universal healthcare through taxes.
    [00:50:28] A mother shares a video of her son enjoying a calm moment drinking tea and reading a book before school.

    Living an Unoptimized Life, Dad Reflexes, Teaching Kids to Solve Their Own Problems, Sleepless Nights and Sibling Love

    Living an Unoptimized Life, Dad Reflexes, Teaching Kids to Solve Their Own Problems, Sleepless Nights and Sibling Love

    On this episode of Aligned Dad, the speaker discusses a range of topics from Reddit videos showing extraordinary and amusing feats of fathers to a philosophy of "unoptimized" living. They share stories of adventure and bravery, discussions with fellow parents, and the importance of trusting one's own inner compass rather than obsessing over plans. The podcast delves into various wisdom nuggets shared by medical doctors and the importance of teaching kids to solve their own problems and make their own choices. The speaker shares their personal struggles as a new parent and offers insight into the challenges and joys of parenting, while reminding listeners not to beat themselves up for missed opportunities and to be present in the moment.

    Show Notes :
    [00:00:40] Story about the beauty of living an unoptimized life; experiences of Derek Sivers and his son, and how planning and optimizing too much can lead to missing out on unexpected joyful moments.

    [00:06:22] Trust your intuition and let things unfold naturally, like children who often play with the cardboard box instead of the toy.

    [00:12:12] Living multiple lives in one lifetime is exhausting and confusing, especially when we constantly search for the right path. It can lead to friction in relationships and unresolved issues. The best way to ensure mental strength in kids is to lead by example.

    [00:15:32] Teach kids to solve their own problems, not solve them for them; this is the golden standard of parenting and being a human. Empower children to make their own decisions and find solutions to their problems, as the challenge will make them stronger.

    [00:21:30] Dad admits he has been reckless but likes being adventurous when playing with child. He also has quick reflexes to protect her from falling.

    [00:24:33] Narrator regrets not being able to save his newborn sister, but later redeems himself by saving his sister from a dangerous water heater.

    [00:26:48] A man's sister is found unconscious in the bathroom, and he has to break down the door and perform CPR to save her life.

    [00:30:09] Fathers are discussing the birth of a second child, and one Indian father explains the cultural preference for having a girl. A Canadian father expresses concern over the challenges of raising a daughter, but the Indian father is confident in his parenting abilities. The conversation leads to a funny anecdote about a date with a girl whose father threatened the Canadian father with a gun.

    [00:34:53] Give children freedom to choose and educate them to choose wisely. Communicate with kids to avoid troubles. Don't impose life experiences on them.

    [00:40:58] The podcast will be on YouTube and Instagram with short snippets for comments and questions. The hosts are happy to share their wisdom and experiences with no concern for criticism. The podcast is named "The Aligned" to signify inner alignment.

    How do you become fully present as a parent? How does your daughter bring you into the present moment?

    How do you become fully present as a parent? How does your daughter bring you into the present moment?

    Life exists nowhere else except in the present, but as humans we spend most of our time in stories of the past or expectations and desires of what the future may bring. Our children live their lives through a sequence of continuous present moments, in the here and now. So, what can we learn from them?

    Join Prashant and Scott as they discover how bringing awareness to fatherhood can help to build awareness of the present moment through sharing experiences with your daughter, which in turn helps you to become a more joyful and mindful parent.

    Teaching kids about money | Teaching your daughters the value of money

    Teaching kids about money | Teaching your daughters the value of money

    How do you teach your child about money? What can you say to them to help them understand what money is, and what its uses are? Join Prashant and Scott as they share experiences of teaching their daughters the real value and effects of money through topics such as bartering, where exchanging items can help teach your child about value, why ‘things’ cost money, and how one places a value on items. 

    Managing the Effects of Social Media on Girls, Children and social media, Helping our daughter navigate the world of social media

    Managing the Effects of Social Media on Girls, Children and social media, Helping our daughter navigate the world of social media

    How do you handle social media in your household? How do you navigate the ups and downs of the new age of information from your family’s point of view? Do you empower your daughter to make the best decisions when she uses the internet? Or do you tightly control her time on social media sights? Do you set boundaries? Do you let go of control and fear and let your daughters experience this new part of life for themselves? 
    This episode is extremely important, not just for fathers but for families in this new age of information. Join Scott & Prashant as they discuss their views on how to navigate the impact of social media in the lives of their daughter’s.  

    How can you tell how your daughter feels? How can I understand my child's emotions?

    How can you tell how your daughter feels? How can I understand my child's emotions?

    As Men we have a hard enough time trying to work out our own emotions, so when it comes to trying to decipher what is going on with your daughter and her emotions, mood swings and meltdowns as a father it can become rather elusive. Prashant and Scott chat about what strategies, tactics and problems solving skills they use to tackle the ever-changing landscape of our girl child’s phases of development, from a dad’s perspective. Please join Prashant and Scott as they share their own experiences with love and laughter.

    What was life like before your daughter came into being? Is it normal to miss life before kids?

    What was life like before your daughter came into being? Is it normal to miss life before kids?

    Join Prashant and Scott as they chat about their lives before their daughters came into being. They talk about the relationships with their wives; how they met, how they grew together and when it was time to start a family. They also discuss the challenges each faced in the first few months of the arrival of their baby girls; how Scott & Prashant’s lives transformed and the growth each dad experienced in their new roles as fathers.