Commencement Wisdom

There’s enough criticism in the world without targeting yourself. Jess Glynne’s 2015 song, “Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself” expresses this nicely.

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You might be less anxious if you recalibrate your stress meter and consider some problems as simply “inconveniences.”  

Here’s a non-affiliate link to Robert Fulghum’s book that inspired today’s topic. I also encourage you to support local booksellers and borrow from your public library.

A simple but challenging experiment could produce gratitude in the short term and creativity in the long term.

Aging may be inevitable, but holding a negative stereotype about it is not. Research from Harvard psychologist Ellen J. Langer shows that we can actually turn the clock back in surprising ways through shifts in our expectations. Here’s a non-affiliate link to Langer’s book on mindful health.

It’s normal to worry about others’ opinions of you, but it’s not necessary. Two ways to break free from this are: 1) desensitize yourself by assuming that it’s always going to happen; and 2) recognize that their critiques are directed at your “social self,” not your “essential self.” 

Here’s a non-affiliate Amazon link to Martha Beck’s book that I reference in the episode.

You don’t have to attend a graduation ceremony to benefit from commencement speakers. 

Here’s a link to Anne Lamott’s 2003 address at the University of California, Berkeley that explores mindfulness and compassion with humor and insight. I believe that in 2020, her comments have become even more relevant.

Simplifying our lives can reduce our stress.

Here are three suggestions:

1. Donate stuff.
2. Let go of draining relationships.
3. Act as if you already have more than enough.

This is a non-affiliate link to Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s book, Gift from the Sea.

And here’s a longer passage (pages 17-18) from the 50th anniversary edition:

“I want first of all . . . to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to carry out these obligations and activities as well as I can. I want, in fact—to borrow from the language of the saints—to live "in grace" as much of the time as possible. I am not using this term in a strictly theological sense. By grace I mean an inner harmony, essentially spiritual, which can be translated into outward harmony. I am seeking perhaps what Socrates asked for in the prayer from the Phaedrus when he said, "May the outward and inward man be at one." I would like to achieve a state of inner spiritual grace from which I could function and give as I was meant to in the eye of God.”

—Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

Research on happiness from social psychologist Daniel Gilbert can help us in surprising ways.

Here’s a non-affiliate link to Gilbert's book on happiness. I also encourage you to support your local booksellers and borrow from your library.

And here’s a link to one of Gilbert's TED Talks.

In circumstances that don't require snap decisions, consider three ways of tolerating stress in order to improve your judgment.

For your convenience, here's a non-affiliate link to the Malcom Gladwell book Blink that I mention.

Our beliefs about illness may sometimes help in our healing. These authors share insights on how this occurs:

Rilke's book (Stephen Mitchell translation for Kindle)

Jerome Groopman's Amazon page

Kate Bowler's book

The PLOS ONE study on placebos for IBS