Cut the strings!

• Welcome
• Questions of the day: In honor of Mari and Kenny’s super real, not at all fake and staged wedding with none of their friends and family and full of absolute strangers…What is your all time favorite fake television wedding?
• We made it. The end of another season of Bachelor in Paradise.
  • This was a freaking THREE HOUR EPISODE. No thank you
  • Mari/Kenny Wedding-was Wells your favorite part too?
    • Conspiracy-do you think the producers told them if they did a fake ceremony on the show, their actual wedding with people they love and care about would be paid for by the franchise?
    • Oh look…Blake is back…
  • Couples not making it through the first 5 min: Jess and Tanner
  • Couples not making it past the wedding: Mercedes and that guy who nobody knows…aka…Jordan
  • Final Five Couples-Jess says they have to make a decision. Almost everyone panics.
    • Kylee and Aven
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    • Sam and Peter
• Olivia and MIchael
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• Eliza and Aaron are heading to fantasy suites
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• Kat and John Henry are heading to fantasy suites
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• A montage of the last ten weeks using one of my favorite songs happens next. (Waiting for a Star to Fall) and then recaps. The Aven/Kylee one is awkward…better than the entire season-they also make fun of Blake’s obsession with being in the franchise-
  • Aaron and Eliza have hit a speedbump-no more details
  • Kat and JH are happily engaged
  • Jesse Palmer and his wife are expecting
• Lessons Learned? 
•  City Shout Out - Sovereign Nation of Bachelor
• Farewell

• Welcome
• Questions of the day: What is your most awkward meeting family story?
• Golden Bachelor:
  • Leslie
    • She shows up to the “Meet the family” pretty confident and seems to really wow them. Thoughts about the interaction? What advice would you give to someone when meeting the family?
    • The daughters seemed worried Leslie isn’t ready to accept a proposal…did you get that vibe?
    • They go to the last chance date and Gerry is off..,which we later find out is because he has decided she is not the one.
      • How do you think he handled this?
      • It seemed like he said some stuff in the fantasy suite that really made her think she had it in the bag?
      • Their AfFR convo was amicable, but she still seemed hurt. How do you think she will rebound? Will she be the first women’s GB
  • Thereasa 
    • Turns out Gary is really into her! This was a real topsy turvy.
    • She got along great with the family, he proposed, she said yes…
      • Are we surprised? 
    • At the AtFR they say they are getting married in January. 
      • What is the pre-mortem on this?
        • Why will they work out?
        • Why wont they work out?
• BiP
  • We pick up with Jess&Blake melting down (I have thoughts)
    • I feel like Blake wanted out and basically put in on her for not being totally into their relationship?
      • Does she have to be? 
      • Do you think Blake would have been all in if she didn’t?
  • Mercedes and Tyler
    • Everyone knows Tyler isn’t into our girl Mercedes. So she confronts him and he says as much, but also is like “I want to stay in paradise a bit longer, so can we just like hangout?” She says no and Tyler leaves. 
      • Any last thoughts for Tyler?
  • Rachel Nicole seems locked on Jordan, he isn’t that into her (hint he is into Mercedes)....
  • So we got a level five cluster “F” and everyone is scrambling for a date.
    • Brayden and Tanner hit up Jess
    • Taylor hits up Mercedes
    • Thoughts on the musical chairs?
  • Rose ceremony…
    • All the other couples give roses as we would expect
    • Jess goes with Tanner, which sends Brayden home and even more embarrassingly Taylor thinks he got call…is this the most embarrassing thing that can happen in paradise?
      • Thoughts on this pairing?
    • Mercedes goes with Jordan…which takes Rachel Nicoles man…
      • Thoughts on Mercedes and Jordan’s connection?
    • Rachel Nicole goes home crying again…is this the last we see of her on the Bachelor franchises?
  • Lessons Learned? 
  •  City Shout OUt - Amsterdam
  • Farewell

1. Welcome
2. Question of the day: What is your favorite euphemism for sex?
3. Golden Bachelor:
   1. Fantasy Suites-Jesse is super uncomfortable-Is it weird to think about your parents having sex
   2. Leslee and Gerry-adventure date with rappelling. 
      1. Gerry asks Leslee why she hasn’t asked any hard questions so she asks when was the last night they had sex. But it’s clear he wants to actually have a discussion 
      2. Gerry tells Leslee that he thinks she’s the one, so if he ends up not picking her, it’s going to be really bad
      3. Thoughts on their time together?
   3. Teresa and Gerry-horseback riding in silence
      1. Teresa tells Gerry that she is in love and he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings but he can’t stop thinking about Leslee and what she’s doing
      2. We find out that Teresa is a boss ass bitch and she says she’ll retire if this works out with Gerry-And Gerry seems pretty turned on by her career m
      3. We had found out that Gerry retired at 55-how is this even possible? And what did he do for the last fifteen years?
      4. Gerry is now back in. Thoughts on their time together?
   4. Is Gerry going to have a breakdown? He has told both of them that he loves them. But he also says he has made his decision. Is it going to be awful for who he did pick to watch this episode?
4. BiP
   1.  We start with Olivia getting ready to go on her 1:1 date with the new guy, Michael, the new guy who’s name she doesn’t know 🙂 and we find out John Henry likes heavy metal but Kat wouldn’t never go to a mosh pit because ‘people die’ and we’re ready to rock and roll on Bachelor in Paradise
   2. New guys on the beach-Jordan and Taylor. No idea who either of these guys are? What is the point of new people at this stage? Jordan was Rachel Nicole’s first 1:1 on her season but she sent him home-she’s excited to see him now. What are our thoughts on second chances? 
      1. Their date is group couples tantric yoga and producers…are you kidding me with this?
      2. Tanner is sad that RN is on the date-there is a miscommunication in which Tanner is about to be friendzoned, but they actually talk it out, and it’s not looking good for our new guy Jordan.
   3. Eliza and Aaron are officially going steady now and they’re boring. Brayden pierces Tyler’s ear and Mercedes’ face says ‘I hate this’. 
   4. Truth box-Is Tyler actually interested in Mercedes? 
   5. Katie shows up
      1. Blake panics. Another 2nd chance possibility? Do you think it’s appropriate to end an engagement over the phone?
   6. Katie is actually there to hold a roast. I hate roasts. Thoughts on the roast?
      1. Roasts suck. The Kat stuff was funny. The Jess stuff was mean. Tanner roasts RN just after they finally got their relationship going? Dumb boy. Blake and Jess are probably not long for this world. 
5. Lessons learned
6. City Shout out
7. Goodbye 

1. Welcome
2. Question of the day: What was cool when you were young but isn’t cool now?
3. Golden Bachelor:
   1. Overall vibe differences?
   2. Kathy talks about her interactions. She said she could have been more delicate. The women really seem to like her. Are you moved? Did your opinion change?
   3. Joan talks about her feeling of leaving early due to her daughter's pregnancy complications. Thoughts? I kind of thought she wanted out…
   4. Faith goes home!!!!! I am actually shocked, what happened? 
   5. Who is Gerry picking?
4. BiP
   1. Charity and tells Eliza Aaron is a dog and seems to not really hold Aaron to account. First did you think she should have been more honest with Aaron about what she told Eliza? 
      1. Aaron and Eliza seem to be good…thoughts?
   2. Kat goes after John Henry. Olivia tells John she really likes him. John says aww shucks and sucks face with Kat…it’s on.
      1. First who wins in a fight Kat or Olivia?
      2. I don’t think John Henry is really bright, maybe him and Kat are great for each other? What matches well between them?
      3. What did you think of John’s apology?
   3. Blake and Jess are back together…I agree with Kim…Black a dog.
   4. Cocktail party goes as planned, except Brayden gives Olivia (because Beca flakes) his rose and Davia goes home (Tanner became the “it” boy). Any Shockers?
   5. Michael…who the hell is Michael? Will he pick Olivia? 
5. Lessons learned
6. City Shout out
7. Goodbye

1. Welcome
2. Question of the day: What TV show dad would you most like to become a bonus grandparent?
3. Golden Bachelor
   1. Theresa’s HT
      1. What do we think about his interaction with the kids? I felt like it was awkward?
      2. Gerry said he was in-love with Theresa...bombshell is she the only one?
   2. Faith’s HT
      1. She loves horses and Gerry seemed OK with them…is this a stumbling block? Horse people are weird…do you have to like all of the same things your partner does?
      2. They kind of whispered I love to each other…is Gerry telling  everyone he loves them?
   3. Leslie’s HT
      1. Leslie’s brother Stuart seemed to be the person to convince. Do you think that should be the family’s role? Especially with older contestants?
      2. He called her wife material…we got a pickle
   4. Gerry runs off crying…what is going to happen?
4. BiP
   1. Tanner comes back and Kat is mad! Tanner had a great time with Davia and basically is like thanks but no thanks Kat…Kat says she doesn’t care
      1. Do you think Tanner handled this right? Could you date Kat?
      2. Kat has like a 20second regeneration period and is makin’ do me eyes at John Henery. John H is like “awww shucks” which makes Kat want him more. But also Olivia wants him…trouble in paradise
      3. Thoughts on the Olivia vs Kat situation? Who is JH better suited for?
   2. Blake and Jess are at a crossroads. Basically, Jess isn’t sold and Blake doesn’t want to commit unless it is a sure thing. 
      1. Enter Genevie. Blake says Jess isn’t sure so he “has” to go on the date, which makes Jess fore lorn. Is Blake following the “rules” of paradise?Thoughts?
      2. But…Tyler takes the opportunity to lay the mack down of Jess and she is with it! Is this an OK move? Jess is totally cool with it, but Mercedes doesn’t seem to know about it. We got a love pentagon! 
      3. How do they sort this out? How is Mercedes doing in all this?
   3. Brayden gets pulled by Becca and because Brayden is a golden retriever he loves Becca…Rachel Nicole is sad. 
      1. Who is a better fit for the Brayden-retriver? Of course he freestyle raps…of course…
   4. Kat is still stirring up shit and tells Eliza that Aaron a dog and she is concerned. Aaron says he is not a dog and lets Kat know that too. But, then Charity come in!!!!
      1. What do you think Charity will say? 
5. Lessons learned?
6. City Shoutout
7. Goodbye

It's another ladies episode! Elaine, Kim and Kelsey discuss birthdays, areas of interest, and body glitter. 

1. Welcome!
2. Question of the day: Have you ever faked an injury or illness to either get out of something or spend time with someone?
3. Golden Bachelor
   1. Trista shows up, no idea what this added to the show?
   2. Pickleball - faking an injury, deviously brilliant or dirty pool?
      1. I appreciated this date! Seemed like they all had fun and managed to not get snippy. No surprise Ellen (pickleball co-captain) prevailed.Thoughts?
   3. Theresa and Kathy continue to snipe at each other. Who is the villain here? (I kind feel like Kathy could be on real grandmothers of New Jersey)
      1. What did you think about Kathy saying she heard Gerry was going to cut Theresa?
      2. Thoughts on Gerry’s handling of the situation?
   4. Leslie gets an ATV date:
      1. Gerry loves to drive fast and Leslie is not a fan. Kim-would this be a date you would like?
      2. Gerry has a tattoo?
      3. How are they vibing?
   5. Never have I ever?
   6. Cocktail party
      1. Nancy Self eliminates…I thought this was well played by all.
      2. Kathy and April go home. I am bummed Kathy didn’t stay longer.
4. BiP
   1. Sam can’t poop, I don’t mind toilet talk so let’s get this out of our system ;-)
   2. John Henry shows up and takes Olivia on a date.
      1. Thoughts on Olivia having a sidebar with Peter?
      2. Thoughts on the date? Do they have the juice?
   3. John B shows up and takes Eliza on a date….Aaron B is shooketh.
      1. Tyler explains this isn’t tennis and people need to not just go on dates to get back at others…what?
      2. Thoughts on John B and Eliza?
   4. Thoughts on the truth box?
      1. Peter seems to have had a mental break and smashes the box?
   5. Brayden gonna Brayden and puts Sean in a bind…
      1. Is Brayden stirring shit? Does Sean have a right to be mad? They seem not to care about Rachel’s opinion
   6. Kat just loses her mind because she did not blindside Brayden…thoughts on Kat?
5. Lessons Learned?
6. City Shout out
7. Sign off

Golden Bachelor in Paradise S11E3

• Welcome
• Introductions of our guest co-hosts Elaine (welcome back!) and Kelsey (welcome!)
• Question of the Week: Have you ever participated in a talent show and what was your talent. And if you haven’t, what would your talent be?
• Golden Bachelor
  • Featured Ladies This Week are Joan, Ellen, and Chaos Queen Kathy (+ Theresa)
  • Boomers gonna Boomer - Kathy-is she caring or manipulative? Teresa-clueless or devious?
  • Rose Ceremony: Goodbye Edith and blonde lady who I have zero memory of named Christina
  • Who do you think are looking the strongest right now? Will next week’s Pickleball tournament be an orthopedic surgeon’s dream?
• Bachelor in Paradise
  • Two new guys on the island: Tanner and Tyler. Who immediately pull Kat and Mercedes. Will and Brayden are broken. Do they…not understand how the show works? Mercedes is Dead Eyed no more :) 
  • Tanner and Kat go for a horse ride on the beach. Mercedes and Tyler get fireworks.
  • Chaos Creators of the Week: Sam’s intestines. Girl-from me to you- get someone to send you a bottle of magnesium citrate. You are welcome. Also Aaron gets lots of boyfriend points from me.
  • Wells advice of the week: Stop going out with girls who like other guys
  • No rose ceremony this week, but the ladies are in control
• Are Jess and Sam’s bathroom issues the most relatable vacation bummer power through situation ever?
• Lessons Learned 

• Welcome
• Question of the Week: if you could be in a dance montage, what song would you want to dance in a group to?
• Golden Bachelor
  • Featured Ladies This Week
  • Franco’s back! 
  • Things we have in common: hearing aids and dead spouses. Shouldn’t there be…other stuff?
  • I already miss Marina and Natasha
• Bachelor in Paradise
  • Aven and Kylee date-bottle opener: 1, Aven: 0
  • Producers…what the hell? Hannah, really? There’s only one Hurricane Hanna and she is me.
  • Chaos Creators of the Week: Hannah B and the boring white guy dancing in the background
  • Best Wells Moment
  • Mercedes Dead Eye but rose secured
  • Adios blondes
• Lessons Learned 
• City Shout out Tokyo—

• Welcome
• Questions of the day: What is your halloween costume this year?
• Let’s get down to business
  • Golden Bachelor: do we still love him?
  • What is he looking for? Totally different sitch, he has met “the love of his life” grieved her and has family from that relationship.
  • What do we think about the ladies?
  • Is it more or less cringe when they do the weird gimmicks?
  • Predictions?
• Bachelor in Paradise
  • Who were we excited to see?
  • Who do we still want to see?
  • I thought it was interesting that everyone knows Rachel/Nicole and she keeps talking bout her “previous experience.” Then there was the other lady that no one knew. What is more of an advantage?
  • We should talk about the lady that was mad the guy she kissed went on a date with the other girl (I don’t have a prompt question in case anyone wants to add thoughts or a question)-she acted like he was already cheating on her, but isn’t that the entire point of BiP? Also…toes…fetishes…coming out strong on a ‘first date’...
  • What do we make of Brayden?
  • Predictions? 
• Lessons Learned 

City Shout out -- La Vista, Nebraska