Driving; Is it Time I/they Stop?

Many of us are gathering during the holidays for the first time in two years. The stress of the season and such gatherings may be exacerbated when the changing needs and challenges of elder care is put into the equation. It is common for family members to have differing views on an aging loved one’s status, care needs and future planning decisions. The stress of elder care can bring up old conflicts and begin to fracture even the best of families The issues and interactions may find their way io your holiday meal. My guest, Anne deLain Clark, is an interpersonal communication expert and transformative mediator. Anne and I will discuss ways to use conscious communication to mitigate conflict…allowing for productive interactions, planning and conversation. Her experience mediating with families struggling with concerns related to an aging loved one’s needs can improve your family’s ability to offer your loved one the best care and decisions possible.

Many families are enjoying holiday visits after a long separation due to the pandemic. You may have visited recently or have plans to do so soon. Whether you live near or far, when you have not seen an older loved one for many months, you may notice some changes or decline. It may not be easily identified but things seem different now that you are there in person. Loved ones who may be experiencing an age-related decline do not always share their need for assistance. One can cover up problems on the phone that may be more apparent in person. It is not until a visit that we begin to notice signs that changes are occurring that may put your loved one at risk, either physically or financially. Knowing what signs to look for and understanding the impact such changes can have on your family member’s well being are critical to insuring they remain safe in the future. Experienced Life Care Manager, Tina Buchanan, and I will talk about the signs to watch for during your holiday visit that indicate your loved one may be at risk. Tina will offer specific red flags and we will address various ways you might approach the problems you see developing.

In the confusing world of trusts, there is one trust that you will want to know about for your aging loved one and that is the Special Needs Trust. This trust allows your loved one to remain on, or qualify for, Federal, State and other benefits while having funds in trust to assist with approved costs. If you have a sibling or are a parent of an adult with special needs, this is important for you to learn about. If you have a parent under age 65, particularly with limited resources, this will offer an option for funds to be available later while still qualifying for benefits. Also a great tool you can use in your estate plan for a loved one. Join me and two very knowledgeable guests as we talk about the many benefits of using the Special Needs Trust now or for use in future planning.

Learning and Memory are connected to how we engage our senses in the world around us because our brain is beautifully wired to learn through our eyes, our ears, our hands, our taste, and our heart. Our brain learns through our senses because when we see, hear, taste, touch, or smell something, we create neural connections – we tell two brain cells to “connect”, to “talk”. The more these brain cells link together, we create a neural pathway. Soon, these links turn into chains and chains turn into networks and we have created new memories, new habits, and new beliefs. We use our senses to interpret and study the world around us and these sensory experiences become small neural connections that lead to memory and understanding. We have short-term, long-term, and working memory that function differently in our brains to help us focus, remember, and commit to learning new skills. Today, we will take a look at how we can use our senses to learn new things with just a little bit of effort. At first learning can seem hard or challenging, but by simply engaging our senses we create memories that link together new and old memories and soon become crystallized as a neural pathway that learns something new. For instance, if you broke your writing hand, you could learn with your non-dominant hand how to write because our brain’s are neuro plastic. We are learning that neurogenesis means that we “birth” new connections by committing our senses to new experiences. In fact, our thoughts and our emotions determine how important something is and then we create neural connections that lead to networks, that connects to prior knowledge, that creates a new skill. This means that when we label something as important, we are telling our brain to FOCUS, ACTIVATE MY SENSES, LINK MEMORIES, BUILD NEW SKILLS. We will discuss this and more with learning expert Jennifer Price.

Reverse mortgages can offer seniors and those caring for a loved one the opportunity to remain in a home and age in place. Many dismiss the use of a reverse mortgage without a full understanding of the features, benefits and costs associated with this financing instrument. My guest, Millie Garcia, is a reverse mortgage expert. She and I will discuss those instances when a reverse mortgage may make sense for a senior who wants to remain in their home as they age but will need funds to do so. Some seniors use a reverse mortgage to supplement income. We will also discuss the costs and limits of a reverse mortgage; the ways in which it simply may not make sense. Join us and learn the pros and cons, the costs and variety of features for what may be a real option for you or your loved one.

Seniors considering a move to a retirement community or families managing the care and finances for a loved one so often do not look beyond the option of selling the home that has been occupied for many years. The sale of a home brings with it tax consequences and the need to re-invest proceeds. This week we will be exploring keeping the home and using the home as an income producing asset that can supplement you or your loved ones cost of living or care needs. Concerned about the headache of managing a rental? Do not live nearby? I will be talking with a property management expert as well as a certified public accountant about the many benefits of considering this option. We will look at the tax consequences of selling now vs. setting up as a rental. We will also discuss the property management role, the team required and if hiring a property management group, how to find the best one to work with.

The death of a loved one requires the distribution of that person’s property, cash, retirement/investment accounts and real estate. In many instances having a personal representative, or executor, of the estate is necessary and working within the probate court is required. In some States, this can be an expensive and complex process, while in others relatively simple. My guest, Probate Judge Cristy Carbon-Gaul, will talk with us about those instances in which a probate is necessary and discuss ways to avoid it. She will also address such questions as; What if there is no will? What if the proposed executor is not appropriate? Why does it sometimes take so long? What does it mean when there is a pour-over will? How do you handle the personal property?....to name a few. A great show for those considering how they want their own estate handled and/or those named in an older loved ones estate planning documents.

Sharing your medical treatment and end of life wishes and with those you love, about what you want, or what your loved one wants, can be a difficult conversation to have. Most often we believe that because we have seen a lawyer and completed our Advance Directives that there is nothing more to do or say. Such is not the case, says our special guest this week, Joan Gibson. Joan and I will discuss the many “what if’s” that such legal documents don’t cover and why it’s important that all of us have these conversations with those we love. Joan is a pioneer in the world of health care decision-making. This conversation is a must for all of us, regardless of age. For a free download of the “Values History Form”, go to AgingLifeNetwork.com

Are you a Guardian or Conservator for an incapacitated adult? Does what you are reading and hearing in the Britney Spears case concern you? I, your host Nancy Oriola, was introduced to the professional world of Guardianship and Conservatorship as it was developing in the late 1980’s and began working directly as both a corporate Guardian and Conservator a decade later. As a nationally certified master’s level guardian, I have had a front row seat to the growth of the industry and have watched as the system meant to protect incapacitated adults has increasingly come under attack as a result of the abuses by individual bad actors as well as the legal system. The many reforms now underway are a positive result of pushback by advocates and, in my view, a natural part of the maturing of an industry that continues to be needed. There is a reason the need for third party, corporate Guardians and Conservators developed in the first place. Now is not the time to overreact to the media attention of cases like Britney Spears. While on the surface it appears the basic Standards of Practice were not followed in her case, it’s hard to make a full judgement without knowing all the information. This show is about why the need for Guardians and Conservators (both family and corporate) will continue to grow and what those entrusted with the responsibility need to understand about this evolving world.

Join me as I talk with one of my most lively guests! TracyB makes talking about Medicare a more enjoyable experience. When it comes to understanding all things Medicare, she is the person I turn to. She will share with us the 5 biggest Medicare mistakes people make. I guarantee you will gain a better understanding of this often confusing area of healthcare and meet the person you will want to call to help you determine the best course of action for you and your loved ones.