E137: What's Your Escape Plan? 11 lessons from my solo ADHD mom self care vacation

It’s here again… that awful feeling: I’m behind.

You swore this year you’d print those adorable Christmas cards with your family’s smiling faces in front of a glowing tree, but it’s December and you haven’t even started. 

Your friends are sending you theirs, and just seeing them makes you feel guilty. 

You’re scrambling to shop for presents online, wondering how you’re going to fit it into your budget. 

And that damn elf on the shelf?

Hasn’t moved for days. 

Mama, the holidays are a stressful time for most people. 

But the truth is, it doesn’t have to be quite this bad. 

If you’re feeling behind, and like you can’t rest because there just.isn’t.time… this episode is for you. 

We talk about:

• How to clean up after the holidays without feeling overwhelmed

• Why you feel “behind” and what to do about it

• Relearning how to rest, when adulting made you forget

• How to make time to recharge when there just isn’t any time

There’s no law that says holidays have to be hard. Join me in choosing calm over chaos this year. 

Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-218-holiday-self-care.

The cure to your holiday hangover: quick & easy steps to get your home back to its normal level of chaos after the holidays!

https://www.patriciasung.com/holiday-hangover

 

Looking for a quiet fidget to help keep you and your kids peaceful when life feels uncomfortable?

Calm Strips are the way to go! Touch, scratch or trace the textured surface to regulate restless energy, increase focus, and remind yourself to breathe.

Head over to CalmStrips.com and use the code MOTHERHOOD20 for 20% off orders of $20 or more.

Ever feel like making friends is a puzzle you can't quite solve? 

You're not alone, mama! 

In this episode of Motherhood in ADHD, we unpack the nuances of friendship with our guest Caroline Maguire. 

Caroline is a leader in social skills development and the author of the book, “Why Will No One Play With Me?” – a handbook on how to communicate social skills training for your kids… and yourself!

If you’ve ever felt like your ADHD impacts how you make and keep friends, this episode is for you. 

We're talking about those oops-did-I-say-too-much moments and the I-have-no-idea-what-to-say ones. 

Caroline answers questions from listeners like:

• What do I do when I’ve been ghosted?

• How do I reach out when I’ve been distant due to my ADHD?

• How should I approach talking to my friends, co-workers or bosses about how my ADHD affects my communication style?

• How do I help my kids have successful friendships without pushing them too hard?

Our relationships shape our lives – but they’re not easy when you have ADHD. So let’s dig in and figure it out together. 

Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-217-adhd-and-friendships-with-social-skills-expert-caroline-maguire

What’s your ADHD Parenting Style?  Find out at patriciasung.com/quiz because you’re not your average mama bear!

Looking for a quiet fidget to help keep you and your kids peaceful when life feels uncomfortable?

Calm Strips are the way to go! Touch, scratch or trace the textured surface to regulate restless energy, increase focus, and remind yourself to breathe.

Head over to CalmStrips.com and use the code MOTHERHOOD20 for 20% off orders of $20 or more.

How do you feel when you think about taking ADHD medication?

Nervous?

Hopeful?

Overwhelmed?

The process of obtaining and finding the right medication can feel like A LOT.

First, you have to approach the subject with your doctor (who may or may not be well-informed about ADHD) -- and then there is finding the right type and dosing of medication, dealing with potential side effects, and the whole process of trial and error.

It never goes perfectly. But it can go more smoothly -- when you take a few steps to plan and prepare for it.

On this episode of Motherhood in ADHD, I share all my best tips and strategies for starting ADHD medication that I learned the hard way -- from tackling that first conversation with your doc, to riding out your first few months.

You'll learn:

• Tips for remembering to take your medication daily (No more, "Ugh, did I actually take that today?" moments)

• How to take your medication for maximum effectiveness

• How to work with your doctor to start and stop medication safely

• Tips for finding the right dosing

• What to do if you can't afford your ADHD medication

• Tips for approaching the topic of ADHD medication with your doctor (No, you're not a "drug seeker"!)

• And so much more!

Your first go-round with ADHD medication doesn't have to be a disaster. You deserve to feel confident, informed and fear-free while you find a treatment plan that works for you.

**This material is not intended as medical advice. Please consult your doctor or a trained medical professional to find the treatment plan that best fits your personal situation.**

This episode is part of our Best Of Series by your requests and originally aired in June 2022.

Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-216-what-i-wish-i-knew-before-taking-adhd-stimulants-best-of-series 

What if you could feel productive and accomplished, knowing you showed up for the people and things you love most? What if you could look back at your day, and know you did what was on your to-do list? 

It’s possible with the Daily Planning for Moms with ADHD course, where I teach you how to keep a calendar and organize your to-do lists in a way that makes sense for your ADHD brain. 

Join today at: bit.ly/adhdplan

“I’ve tried everything!” 

When you’re dealing with a particularly frustrating problem that’s gone on for years, like parenting your exasperating child, looking for relief from a chronic health issue, or advocating for your child struggling at school, you start to run out of energy AND optimism.

When you’ve got a situation that feels hopeless…

When you’ve run out of ideas…

When you’ve looked under every rock and barked up every tree…

Should you just give up? 

Sigh.

Except you REALLY want to find a solution. You’re not ready to give up on your kid, your health, the things that truly matter to you.

What’s a mom to do? 

My kindergartener surprised me with his fresh take on counting last week, and it made me think twice about how I look at the same-old-same-old. 

In today’s episode, I’m sharing five valuable ways to find a fresh perspective when you feel overwhelmed or stuck. Let’s look outside the box and past the same advice you’ve heard 37 times to find what you actually need or could use. 

These are the kinds of problems that are worth another go. You’re worth it, too.

 

Get some cheerleaders in your corner and join our free Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/motherhoodinadhd

 

After our first session together, you’ll know how to stay cool when your Uncle Roger starts with his political BS at the next holiday party. It won’t ruin the day for you.

Early Bird Registration of my next round of Lighthouse Group ADHD Coaching ends today! Registration reopens in January.

The group starts in 2024, so put your name on the waitlist now to get signup details, so you’ll know that after the holidays are over and the kids are back in school, you are ready to get your life together and your emotions in control.

You’ll learn the skills you wish you knew growing up to make adulting easier as someone with ADHD and you’ll be able to teach your kids how to live well with ADHD. 

 

Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-215-dont-know-what-else-to-do-how-to-solve-hopeless-problems-feel-stuck

 

Thank you to our sponsor, Skylight Calendars, whose support allows me to share this podcast with you for free! I only partner with brands I know and love, so I bet you’ll love this amazing digital calendar as much as I do - it will help keep your family coordinated and less stressed. Use the coupon code PATRICIA to get 10% off your family calendar at SkylightCal.com

What’s your story of working under an unqualified or unsupportive boss? I’m sharing a few of my terrible boss experiences. 

But today’s episode is not just about the bad bosses in the workplace. As a parent, we often feel underqualified. You don’t want to be a “bad boss”, but no one handed you an instruction manual when your children arrived! 

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

When you don’t feel sure of your choices, it starts to seep into your confidence level. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) shows up to make you doubt your parenting decisions, increasing the guilt around what you should have done, and layering in the shame on how you’re ruining your kids forever with your mess ups.Yikes!

RSD also taints how we relate to our partners, which can stir up the same conflict over and over again. It influences how we react to the slightest eyebrow raise and every “what if” scenario. It makes you scared to bring up important conversations. 

Knowing it’s not just you is half the battle. Let’s dive into how we can better support and care for our families and partners, by starting with ourselves.

 

Stop Medusa Mom in her tracks with these 10 tips to calm down before you lose your cool! Watch (or read) the free video here: https://www.patriciasung.com/calm

 

Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here:  https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-214-parenting-lessons-from-bad-bosses-when-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-adhd-rsd-affects-parenting-partners 

 

When you know how to stay calm, your child’s meltdown over leaving the holiday party won’t ruin your day. You can respond firmly and lovingly because you’re in control of your emotions.

Next week, Early Bird Registration of my next round of Lighthouse Group ADHD Coaching is open to the waitlist for 3 days only.

The group starts in 2024, so put your name on the waitlist now so you’ll know that after the holidays are over and the kids are back in school, you are ready to get your life together and your emotions in control.

You’ll learn the skills you wish you knew growing up to make adulting easier as someone with ADHD and you’ll be able to teach your kids how to live well with ADHD.

 

Thank you to our sponsor, Skylight Calendars, whose support allows me to share this podcast with you for free! I only partner with brands I know and love, so I bet you’ll love this amazing digital calendar as much as I do - it will help keep your family coordinated and less stressed. Use the coupon code PATRICIA to get 10% off your family calendar at SkylightCal.com

What does the inside of your kitchen junk drawer look like?  

And why is it always in the kitchen? 

We all have a random smattering of ideas laying around and today I’m sharing a few that wouldn’t necessarily make a whole episode in and of themselves, so I’m combining these random thoughts rattling around my brain into one Junk Drawer episode. 

First, we cover a few questions around ADHD medications with some crowdsourced helpful tips on how to find medicine with shortages happening everywhere, as well as what it feels like when I forget to take my medicine (a clear indicator towards it not being addictive when you use it as prescribed).

We’re also talking about emotions surrounding a late ADHD diagnosis, exploring feelings of frustration and grief while questioning if things would have been different had we known earlier? Shout-out to listener Sara, who suggested this topic!

Then, I’m celebrating our amazing sponsors: Skylight Calendars, Calm Strips, and Time Timers, who believe in our mission and help keep this podcast free for you. I’m so thankful to be working with great companies who are amplifying our goal of sharing quality ADHD info in the world. You’ll only hear recommendations for great products that I love and use myself. 

Finally, I’m wrapping up by courageously reading some of my bad reviews (yikes!), an experience that can be both daunting and enlightening. Here’s how I deal with negative feedback and RSD, and still choose to share so much of myself online.

Let's dive into this "ADHD Junk Drawer" together!

Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-213-late-diagnosis-grief-find-forget-to-take-adhd-medicine

Curious how ADHD shows up frequently in women? Download this free checklist of ADHD symptoms to help you feel confident at your diagnosis assignment or in your own knowledge of ADHD.

Thank you to our sponsor, Skylight Calendars, whose support allows me to share this podcast with you for free! I only partner with brands I know and love, so I bet you’ll love this amazing digital calendar as much as I do - it will help keep your family coordinated and less stressed. Use the coupon code PATRICIA to get 10% off your family calendar at SkylightCal.com.

 

“Should I become a mom if I have ADHD?”

Here’s an episode you’ve been asking for - pregnancy and ADHD! You ask me so many questions around pregnancy friendly symptoms management, ADHD medication while pregnant, and the big question of should I even have kids if I can’t take care of myself??? 

It’s been almost 6 years since I was pregnant, so I called in a friend who’s in the thick of it. 

Today’s guest is Candin Phillips of Humanity Hive. Candin is a licensed therapist with over ten years of experience working with people with ADHD. While her little one just arrived, she was pregnant with her second child during the recording of this conversation.

Candin and I recount some of the struggles that come with being pregnant with ADHD and share what’s working for us and our clients. We discuss how pregnancy can affect your ADHD (spoiler alert: it’s different for everyone!) and answer YOUR questions submitted through Instagram and my free facebook group.

Neither Candin nor I are licensed medical doctors, so please take all of our advice as advice you got from friends and talk with your medical team to find the best decision for you.

Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-212-pregnant-with-adhd-should-I-become-a-mom-if-I-have-adhd-pregnancy-with-candin-phillips 

 

Looking for support on how to treat your ADHD beyond medicine? Grab my free list of strategies and ADHD treatments at patriciasung.com/beyond-meds

 

Thank you to our sponsor, Skylight Calendars, whose support allows me to share this podcast with you for free!

I only partner with brands I know and love, so I bet you’ll love this amazing digital calendar frame as much as I do - it will help keep your family coordinated and less stressed.

Use the coupon code PATRICIA to get 10% off your family calendar at SkylightCal.com

When you’re dreaming about taking time for yourself, does that nudge (or wave) of guilt make you pause? 

Today, I’m reflecting on 5 things I learned this weekend while I hung out with many of you. 

This past weekend was my ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat and we had a blast!  It was soo soo good and I didn’t want it to end! We rested, we ate hot food, and we focused on ourselves. 

One of the things we all discussed was how refreshing it was to be the most important person on the agenda, and the moms wished they could stay another day (or 3, lol!). Next year’s retreat will also be a weekend, but I’m certainly dreaming of longer trips in the future!

Listen in as I discuss what you all told me are the challenges of being an ADHD mom and the importance of embracing our unique strengths and abilities. We need self-care and the incredible impact it can have on ourselves and our families, so you can feel strong about prioritizing your well-being and break free from mom guilt. 

Want to join us next year?  Join the waitlist for the 2024 retreat here: https://www.patriciasung.com/retreat-waitlist

Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-211-power-of-community-5-things-i-learned-from-hanging-out-with-adhd-moms

Make your life easier as a mom with ADHD. All of my free resources are in one place! Download my ADHD Mama Toolkit for support and strategies to create a life fit you and your family.

 

Appointments, birthdays, permission slips, library books, names, the one thing you went into the store for…

In today's episode, I delve into one of the most frustrating features of ADHD: forgetting important things. 

From my personal experiences of forgetting to pick up THE ONE THING that my husband had requested while I went backpacking through Spain to missing my child's swim lesson due to a mix-up in scheduling, we’ll explore the guilt and shame that often accompany these forgetful moments. 

But it's important to remember that having ADHD is not an excuse for forgetfulness, but rather an explanation. But how do you clearly make the distinction in your intention so everyone’s not mad at you for forgetting the thing for the 300th time???

In this episode, we explore the delicate balance between understanding the role of ADHD and taking personal accountability for our actions. Join me as we uncover strategies and insights to navigate through forgetfulness and rewrite our stories from shame spiral to success story. 

Get ready for a powerful (and uncomfortable) discussion on forgetfulness in motherhood and ADHD.

Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here:  

https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-210-sorry-i-forgot-excuse-explanation-adhd

Time blindness. YES. It's a very real thing and it can be a challenge for lots of people with ADHD. 

I'm here to tell you there IS HOPE! 

I created a resource for mamas like you so you can stop waiting until the last minute to complete the project, send in the forms, or do the shopping. 

Stop stressing about time. It doesn't have to be that way. 

Grab my Secrets for Overcoming Time Blindness, a free resource on my website here:

https://www.patriciasung.com/monthahead

Oh, the lies you’ve been told about your brain…

Today’s guest challenges the traditional description of ADHD, viewing it not as a disorder, but as a unique collection of traits that showcase different ways of thinking and experiencing emotions. 

Dr. Caroline Leaf is a communication pathologist, audiologist, and clinical and cognitive neuroscientist specializing in psychoneurobiology and metacognitive neuropsychology. Her passion is to help people see the power of the mind to change the brain, control chaotic thinking, and find mental peace. She shares her profound knowledge and insights on how the mind can shape and transform the brain, offering hope and practical strategies for finding mental peace in our daily lives.

We dove into everything from habit formation, ADHD brain scans, the difference between the mind and the brain, self-reflection and self-management, and tools to manage our messy minds. This episode is a beautiful blast of science sprinkled with well-earned mothering experience.

Her latest book, How to Help Your Child Clean Up Their Mental Mess: A Guide to Building Resilience and Managing Mental Health, is available now. 

Learn more about Dr. Leaf at:

Her website –  https://drleaf.com/

Instagram – @​​drcarolineleaf

Facebook – Dr. Caroline Leaf

Twitter – @DrCarolineLeaf

Let’s dive into our messy minds, mama.

Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-209-adhd-lies-cleaning-up-you-and-your-childs-mental-mess-building-habits-neurocycle-caroline-leaf

Stop Medusa Mom in her tracks with these 10 tips to calm down before you lose your cool! Watch (or read) the free video here: https://www.patriciasung.com/calm