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    E774 Going Deeper with Jess Vestal

    enJuly 10, 2024
    What challenges did the guest face in childhood?
    How did her childhood experiences shape her resilience?
    What commitment did the speaker make with her ex-partner?
    Why is clear communication important in relationships under scrutiny?
    What approach does the speaker suggest for personal growth?

    Podcast Summary

    • Childhood challengesDespite a challenging childhood marked by instability and parental drug addiction, a reality TV personality has found resilience and uses her experiences to connect with her audience.

      The guest, who is a reality TV personality, discussed her challenging childhood experiences, including growing up in foster care and dealing with parents who suffered from drug addiction. She shared that she went through an ongoing cycle of being in and out of different homes, which left her feeling unstable and longing for stability and acceptance. Despite these experiences, she now recognizes that they equipped her with resilience and prepared her for the public eye. She expressed her desire to use her newfound platform to share more about herself and her past to connect with her audience. Additionally, she mentioned her brief absence from social media and her struggle to navigate the online world while maintaining her privacy.

    • Childhood experiences impacting relationshipsChildhood experiences, especially those involving trauma and rejection, can significantly impact an individual's relationships and sense of self in adulthood. Hope can be a double-edged sword, leading to pursuing unlikely relationships in the quest for love.

      Childhood experiences, particularly those involving trauma and feelings of rejection, can significantly impact an individual's relationships and sense of self in adulthood. The speaker's desire to feel chosen and loved, rooted in her experiences with her biological mother and foster families, has influenced her relationships with men. Hope, while generally seen as a positive force, can also be a double-edged sword, leading the speaker to pursue seemingly unlikely relationships in her quest for a successful love story. The complexities of these dynamics are not always easy to understand from the outside, and navigating them requires a delicate balance between maturity, practicality, and the persistent desire for growth and improvement.

    • Adversity and human connectionsPeople who have faced adversity and trauma can form deeper connections due to shared experiences, but everyone's healing journey is unique and ongoing self-work is necessary.

      People's experiences shape their perspectives and abilities to connect. The speaker shares her belief that those who have faced adversity and trauma can form deeper connections due to their shared experiences. However, it's essential to recognize that everyone's healing journey is unique, and it's not practical to label someone as "healed" or "unhealed." The speaker emphasizes the importance of ongoing self-work and the use of tools to emotionally regulate when triggered. She also stresses the significance of vulnerability in relationships and the potential risks and rewards that come with it. Ultimately, the speaker's reflections highlight the complexities of human connections and the importance of empathy, understanding, and self-awareness.

    • Etsy shopping experienceConnecting with Etsy sellers adds personal value to items and taking time to connect with others can lead to surprising and rewarding relationships

      Shopping on Etsy connects you with human beings who put thought and care into their creations. Whether it's a baby book, a handcrafted picture frame, or a unique gift, the personal touch of an Etsy seller adds value beyond the item itself. The speaker's experience on a reality show also highlighted the importance of getting to know someone beyond their public persona. In the context of dating, she found that taking the time to connect with someone genuinely can lead to surprising and rewarding relationships. While not all encounters may result in marriage or even romance, the human connection made can still be valuable and memorable.

    • Complex emotions in relationshipsRelationships can involve complex emotions and people are not always who they seem. It's important to trust your instincts and be discerning to avoid investing time and energy in manipulative and inconsistent individuals.

      Relationships involve complex emotions and people are not always who they seem. The speaker shares her experience of being involved with someone who she believed had the potential to be a good partner for her and her daughter, but ultimately proved to be a manipulative and inconsistent person. She reflects on the time and energy she invested in this relationship, and the struggle between wanting to believe in the genuine moments and acknowledging the deceit. The speaker also touches upon the unique challenges of reality TV dating shows, which can isolate individuals and make it difficult to maintain a strong support system. Overall, this experience has taught her to be more discerning and to trust her instincts when it comes to relationships.

    • Contestant's change of heartA contestant's sudden change of heart towards a partner on a reality dating show may not seem sudden to the audience if they have seen the contestant's less serious side before. The bond between the couple may not be solely based on the show experience, but rather from their shared traumas and open communication.

      The switch in a contestant's behavior on a reality dating show may not appear abrupt to the audience if they have seen the contestant's less serious side before. The contestant in question, who had reservations about her partner's past, ultimately decided to trust him based on his actions and their strong connection during the show. She believed their bond was not from the show experience itself, but rather from their shared traumas and open communication. Despite his past, she saw potential in their relationship and was willing to give it a chance outside the show.

    • Communication and respectClear and honest communication is crucial in maintaining respectful relationships, especially under public scrutiny, as misrepresentations and gaslighting can lead to misunderstandings and harm.

      Communication and respect are key in navigating complex relationships, especially when under public scrutiny. The speaker in this conversation had made a commitment with her ex-partner to maintain respectful communication, but felt betrayed when he continued to post content online that she found hurtful and misrepresented their relationship. Despite her initial commitment to openness and trust, she ultimately felt that she did not truly know him and the experience left her questioning the authenticity of their interactions. This situation highlights the importance of clear and honest communication, as well as the potential harm that can come from misrepresentations and gaslighting in relationships.

    • Reconciliation after wrongdoingSincere apologies and making amends are essential for forgiveness and rebuilding trust in relationships, but individuals must also respect each other's boundaries and communicate consensually.

      Communication and acknowledgement of wrongdoing are crucial in mending relationships. The speaker believed in the sincerity of the man she was involved with, but his failure to remove a hurtful post despite her request led her to question his priorities. She wanted him to consider her feelings over public perception, but it seemed his reputation and audience reaction mattered more. When they reconciled, he took responsibility for his mistakes and made amends, which allowed her to forgive him and trust him again. However, the speaker was uncomfortable with his methods of reaching out and gaining her room information without her consent.

    • Reconnecting with an exReconnecting with an ex requires careful consideration and communication, but past feelings may still linger and make the decision to move forward difficult

      Relationships, especially those formed under unique circumstances like reality TV shows, can be complex and require time and effort to navigate. The speaker shared an experience of reconnecting with an ex after a grand gesture, but ultimately realized that the feelings of the past still lingered despite apologies and attempts to move forward. The decision to give the relationship another chance was not an easy one, and involved careful consideration and communication. However, the truth of the situation came to light, which changed everything and led to the decision to end the relationship once and for all. While it's not ideal to go through the experience of heartbreak multiple times, it's important to remember that everyone has a threshold and it's not always possible to know if a relationship will work until given a chance.

    • Communication and honesty in relationshipsClear communication and honesty are crucial in maintaining a healthy relationship, even when faced with unexpected challenges or attention from the outside world.

      Communication and honesty are key in any relationship, even outside the context of a reality TV show. The speaker shared an experience of rekindling a relationship with an ex, only for it to end quickly due to a lack of commitment and dishonesty. They also discussed the unexpected attention they received from the paparazzi during their time in Mexico, which further strained their relationship. While the details of their relationship are specific to their personal experiences, the lessons learned about the importance of clear communication and being true to one's words and actions can apply to anyone.

    • Relationship transparencyCommunication and transparency are crucial in maintaining a private relationship, and addressing potential issues together can prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

      Communication and transparency are key in any relationship, especially when keeping it private. The speaker was supportive of her partner's participation in a reality TV show, but felt betrayed when rumors of their relationship emerged and he chose to publicly announce it before discussing it with her. She emphasized the importance of addressing potential issues and involving all parties involved to prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Additionally, the speaker's experience highlights the potential challenges and complexities of modern relationships, particularly those that require secrecy.

    • Trust and Second ChancesBelieving in people and giving them a second chance can be a sign of strength, even if the outcome isn't what you hoped for. Forgiveness and extending grace are crucial parts of healing and growth.

      Putting yourself out there and trusting someone can be a vulnerable and scary experience, especially when you've had past hurt. It's not easy to open up and believe in someone again, especially when they let you down. However, it's important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and has the capacity for change. Believing in people and giving them a second chance can be a sign of strength, even if the outcome isn't what you hoped for. The journey towards healing and growth can be painful, but it's also an opportunity to learn and inspire others. Ultimately, forgiving yourself and extending grace to others is a crucial part of moving forward.

    • Relationship enduranceEveryone has a limit to what they can endure in a relationship, focusing on personal growth and learning from past mistakes is essential, and empathy and compassion are key to understanding and helping others.

      Everyone has a limit to what they can endure in a relationship, and it's important to give ourselves and others the grace to learn and grow from past experiences. The speaker acknowledges the difficulty of watching someone she cares about go through pain and the temptation to judge, but emphasizes the importance of focusing on personal growth and learning from past mistakes rather than dwelling on the past. The speaker also addresses the use of labels like "narcissist" and encourages empathy and understanding for all parties involved. Ultimately, the speaker encourages compassion and self-reflection, emphasizing that everyone deserves the opportunity to learn and grow.

    • Online criticismTreating others with kindness and respect is crucial, even during online criticism. Good comments have a positive impact, and being mindful of their influence is important.

      Vulnerability is a difficult but necessary aspect of being a public figure. The speaker shares her experiences with handling hate and criticism online, emphasizing the importance of treating others with kindness and respect, even when it's challenging. She also highlights the impact of good comments and the need to be mindful of their influence. Looking forward, the speaker plans to use her platform for positive change, focusing on foster care advocacy and impactful projects. She encourages treating others with empathy and kindness, both online and offline. Despite the challenges, she remains committed to using her influence for good and making a difference in the world.

    • Crohn's disease awarenessJess, a reality show contestant with Crohn's disease, is using her platform to raise awareness and support for those affected by this autoimmune condition, emphasizing the importance of early detection and community support.

      Jess, a contestant from a reality dating show, is open to the idea of fostering older children and raising awareness for Crohn's disease, an autoimmune disease she lives with. She is passionate about investing time and effort into her community and her 11-year-old sister, who she cherishes. Despite a difficult past, she is focusing on personal growth and being open to love when she's ready. Crohn's disease is an autoimmune condition that affects the small intestine, causing inflammation and potential removal of affected sections. It can go undetected or misdiagnosed, making awareness and early detection crucial. Jess has a large online community of people with Crohn's disease, and she aims to make a difference by raising awareness and supporting them. She is currently focusing on her sister and personal growth, but is open to love when the time is right.

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    03:38 - Love Island
    26:09 - TikTok Love Triangle
    34:39 - It Ends With Us
    38:42 - Disney
    42:06 - Bethenny Frankel
    44:30 - Chappell Roan
    55:08 - Caroline Interview
    01:24:05 - Welcome Loren
    01:32:21 - New Movie
    01:37:51 - Reality and Love Is Blind UK
    01:44:45 - Bachelorette Thoughts
    01:54:38 - Dating
    02:02:03 - Hometowns Recap
    02:09:05 - Outro

    The Viall Files
    enAugust 22, 2024

    E796 Going Deeper with Love Island’s Nicole Jacky

    E796 Going Deeper with Love Island’s Nicole Jacky

    Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper, with Love Island USA’s Nicole Jacky!

    Today we have a bonus episode, and boy is it a good one! The reunion just aired and Nicole is ready to set the record straight. How was the reunion? What did Kendall lie about? Can she trust him moving forward?

    “I really don't trust anything that comes out of your mouth now.”

    Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ 

    Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes.

    Listen To Disrespectfully now!
    Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrespectfully/id1516710301
    Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0J6DW1KeDX6SpoVEuQpl7z?si=c35995a56b8d4038

    Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCh8MqSsiGkfJcWhkan0D0w

    To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com 

    If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line!

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    00:59 - Where to start
    02:03 - The Past
    10:54 - Signing Up
    19:50 - The Situation
    38:38 - Confrontation
    48:04 - Working it out
    50:54 - Feeling love
    54:52 - What now
    59:24 - Answers
    01:07:10 - Outro

    The Viall Files
    enAugust 21, 2024

    E795 - Love Island Special w/ Aaron & Rob Post Reunion - Blake vs Justin, Who’s Actually More Problematic?

    E795 - Love Island Special w/ Aaron & Rob Post Reunion - Blake vs Justin, Who’s Actually More Problematic?

    Welcome back to The Viall Files: Reality Recap! The Love Island Reunion was filmed in NYC this weekend, and we’re EXCITED. Join us for a sit down with Aaron and Rob Post Reunion. Meanwhile, Deb Chubb helps us talk all things pop culture, Blake Lively vs Justin Baldoni, Husband Calling Competitions, and Ariana Madix’s brother being arrested. 

    “I should've just said everything to her, there and then.”

    Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ 

    Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes.

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    Listen To Disrespectfully now!

    Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrespectfully/id1516710301

    Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0J6DW1KeDX6SpoVEuQpl7z?si=c35995a56b8d4038

    Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCh8MqSsiGkfJcWhkan0D0w

    To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com 

    If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line!

    To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles 

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    Brooklinen - Start and end your summer days with the reviving comfort of Brooklinen. Visit in-store or online at https://www.Brooklinen.com and get 15% off of your first order!

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    10:42 - Blake v Justin
    30:03 - Golden Bachelorette
    35:15 - Iowa State Fair
    42:52 - Demure
    46:44 - Vanderpump
    54:39 - Molly Mae and Tommy Fury
    58:54 - Love Island Cast
    01:13:47 - Aaron Interview
    01:39:53 - Rob Interview
    02:05:51 - Outro

    The Viall Files
    enAugust 20, 2024

    E794 Ask Nick - Guys Think I’m Intense

    E794 Ask Nick -  Guys Think I’m Intense

    Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! We start off the episode with a Written Ask Nick. Then we get to our callers… 

    Our first caller found out her boyfriend cheated on her a year ago, and doesn't know what to do. Our second caller’s boyfriend shaves his face for work, and she doesn’t like it. And, our third caller wants more from a guy who went no contact.  

    "Do you think he’s still lying to you?"

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    Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes. 

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    If you would like to get some texting advice, send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! 

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    The Viall Files
    enAugust 19, 2024