Ep. #10 | Adulting Is Destroying My Life, When You Realize You Are Toxic and Your Toxic Traits & Recognizing Duality

Saying goodbye is never an easy thing, and saying goodbye to something that was created by my own hands, for my own survival and growth is even more difficult. But it's time to let go and move on to newer and better things. This will be the last episode of the Blunt and No Not Weed Podcast. In this episode, I explain why I've decided to close this chapter, what's coming next (Yes, I am not done with podcasting yet), and where my mindset is in 2022. A huge thank you to all my guests (Natale, Ndamu, Tshima, Manzi, Wendy, Mo & Kemi) for making this podcast pleasurable, authentic and so enlightening, and insightful. Thank you for your stories, your wisdom, your inspirations, and your intellect. Thank you to Sarah, for being my first fan, for believing in this podcast, and for your constant feedback and support. Thank you to me, Mutondwa Murendeni Nemurangoni, for leaping and biting fear, anxiety, and the chatter of what will people say. Thank you to me for being willing to be vulnerable about the things and thoughts that scare & haunt me, about my dreams and aspirations, and my journey towards self. I'm so proud of you Mutondwa, you did well. Last but certainly not least, thank you to my 988 downloaders (I checked today), thank you for giving me your ear and compassion, thank you for spending your valuable time with me and my guests, and thank you for your support, it means the world.

It's the start of the booktober series! This October I'll be sharing some of the life lessons that literature and words have imparted upon me. Books are my safe space, they make sense to me in a world that so often makes little sense. They bring me moments of quiet, reflection, and questioning. Books are my safe space, the cheapest and arguably the healthiest form of "escapism" out there. Books speak to me, they open small windows of insights inside my mind, which then seeps into my soul. I'm grateful to books, I'm also deeply indebted to books. In this episode, I'll be sharing some of the lessons I've learned from Eat Pray Love. To say this book saved my life would be a complete understatement, it was a devastating, enlightening, and simultaneously chaotic read. It challenged my beliefs, made me accountable for my own life, and answered questions about prayer, God, and spirituality at a time when questions were all I had. There is a reason its a best-seller and was turned into a movie (Lol still haven't watched the movie, probably never will) 833 downloads! Thank you so much 😍 Road to 1000 downloads! 🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♀️ For more engagement and content Please follow us on Instagram at @blunt_notweed_podcast or on my personal account @msworthmylife and on Facebook at Blunt and No Not Weed Podcast 👩🏾👱🏾‍♀️💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾

It's the start of the booktober series! This October I'll be sharing some of the life lessons that literature and words have imparted upon me. Books are my safe space, they make sense to me in a world that so often makes little sense. They bring me moments of quiet, reflection, and questioning. Books are my safe space, the cheapest and arguably the healthiest form of "escapism" out there. Books speak to me, they open small windows of insights inside my mind, which then seeps into my soul. I'm grateful to books, I'm also deeply indebted to books. In this episode, I'll be sharing some of the lessons I've learned from Dr Jordan B Peterson's best-seller 12 Rules For Life. This book is untamed in its brilliance and unashamedly affecting in its dissection of our world. 805 downloads! Thank you so much 😍 Road to 1000 downloads! 🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♀️ For more engagement and content Please follow us on Instagram at @blunt_notweed or on my personal account @msworthmylife Follow our guest @kem_does_it_again 👩🏾👱🏾‍♀️💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾 755 downloads! Thank you so much 😍 Road to 1000 downloads! 🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♀️ For more engagement and content Please follow us on Instagram at @blunt_notweed or on my personal account @msworthmylife Follow our guest @kem_does_it_again 👩🏾👱🏾‍♀️💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾

As a woman, perhaps my biggest fear is having something sexual or violent been done to my body without my consent, on the backdrops of the #metoo movement, the continuous degradation and disregard for women's bodies and rights running rampant throughout a plethora of legal systems, South Africa's very real and scary femicide in the form of gender-based violence, sexual violence, and murder; a clear message is being sent to women, and it's not one of protection, freedom, safety, accountability, and liberation. Sex is sometimes not sexy, in this episode I sit down with Kemelo “Kemi” Sehlapelo and discuss her journey of navigating the muddy waters of reconstructing a sexual identity after sexual assault and how she has channeled self-healing & self-efficacy amidst the echoes of societal imposed stigma, shame, guilt. She comes in blunt, honest, and very real. 755 downloads! Thank you so much 😍 Road to 1000 downloads! 🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♀️ For more engagement and content Please follow us on Instagram at @blunt_notweed or on my personal account @msworthmylife Follow our guest @kem_does_it_again 👩🏾👱🏾‍♀️💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾

Growing up between two worlds with clear-cut and distinguishable differences in values, cultural norms and expectations can be a jarring game of navigation and simultaneous assimilation. This is true for this week's guest Wendy Weng, who was born to traditional conservative Chinese parents and raised in the U.S. The values she learned at home and the ones found within the society she was living in couldn't have been more day and night. This theme and clash would continue throughout her life as she navigated puberty, her sexuality and ultimately becoming a woman. In this episode, she talks about her experiences growing up as an Asian girl in the US and then later on returning back to Beijing, China. She shares about how the "sex talk" went down in the Weng household and how she feels navigating the world in her body and skin. Let's talk about sexy things! PS: We have a lot of inside jokes 😂😎😅 739 downloads! Thank you so much 😍 Road to 1000 downloads! 🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♀️ For more engagement and content Please follow us on Instagram at @blunt_notweed or on my personal account @msworthmylife

There is something powerful, beautiful, and scary about finding more of who you are as life progresses and all the pieces collected over time start to make sense. One key area of human identity; one that can cause contention both within us and outside of us, lies within our sexual identity. For women, black women, women with disabilities, LGBTQ individuals this can be an extremely difficult journey towards sexual discovery and freedom. In this episode, I sat down to talk to Mo, aka Queen Cunnilinga, a young South African queer woman who is discovering and exploring her sexuality through her own gaze, however, being constantly confronted by the unavoidable gaze of society and the backdrops of her environment. In Part two of our two-part conversations (check out last week's episode if you haven't yet), we talk about sexual freedom, the desire to be liberated in one's sexuality without it always being a statement or form of activism but rather as a natural part of human existence. Mo brings light to the nuances and complexities necessary for a holistic sex-positivity conversation. Let's get physical! For more engagement and content Please follow us on Instagram at @blunt_notweed You can also follow our guest @queen_cunnilinga

There is something powerful, beautiful, and scary about finding more of who you are as life progresses and all the pieces collected over time start to make sense. One key area of human identity; one that can cause contention both within us and outside of us, lies within our sexual identity. For women, black women, women with disabilities, LGBTQ individuals this can be an extremely difficult journey towards sexual discovery and freedom. In this episode, I sat down to talk to Mo, aka Queen Cunnilinga, a young South African queer woman who is discovering and exploring her sexuality through her own gaze, however, being constantly confronted by the unavoidable gaze of society and the backdrops of her environment. In Part One of our two-part conversations, we talk about her journey of discovering her sexual identity against the backdrops of religion & African conservativism, and the role that self-reflection and retrospection played in her building her identity. Let's talk about sexual identity and freedom!

Growing up my mum used to always tell us that "you never taste the penis, if you do you won't be able to stop because it's so good". Random right? She instilled both fear and desire at the same time. BUT what I do appreciate from her quirky expression was that she never lied to my sisters and me about how good sex is, that it is a GOOD thing. Of course, she also qualified this expression with "only in the grips of marriage". It's no wonder I developed a sex complex, with religion telling me one thing, on one hand, the conservative African traditionalistic way of women's existence on the other and society requiring me to publicly bargain my sexuality, sexual desires, and desirability as a black woman with a visual impairment on the other. The "good girl" trope and archetype was the light that illuminated my path, hypocritically so, as I battled between religious doctrine and my innate desire for freedom. Let's talk about SEX!

Perfection is truly the disease of our society and like Queen, B said "it's the soul that needs a surgery". In today's episode I talk about worth and value, where does my worth and value come from? Can worth be taken away, is it a movable asset? When all the arbitrary things we attach to our worth and value, having money, being a parent, being coupled, having a certain degree or status, the religions we follow, the car we drive, the job title we have, when all of that is stripped away what is left? Who is left? As Beyonce asks in her masterful and societal commentary song "pretty hurts" - When you're alone all by yourself When you're lying in your bed, Reflection stares right into you, Are you happy with yourself? Stripped away the masquerade The illusion has been shed, Are you happy with yourself? Are you happy with yourself? These are questions that I've been asking myself and I think I'm starting to see the answers. Let's talk about worth and value in a society obsessed with perfection.

There is a beauty I have come to find in suffering. The other day I sat on my toilet seat 🤣😎 (TMI) but whatever), reminiscing, and found myself being actually appreciative and grateful for the very difficult year of suffering and loss I've been thrown into. There is a power in watching everything go wrong and then realizing you are still here, alive, breathing with the sands of time still in your favor. One of the reasons for this dawn came through exploring mental health and really diving into my inner-self and starting to address all the things that I have left to fester. I'm approaching 30 and I sure as hell don't want to be dealing with the same shit then. Let's talk about mental health, suffering, healing, and addressing and understanding the ego. Please follow the podcast on the socials to engage and grow with us. Instagram: @bluntnotweedpodcast My Personal Instagram: @msworthmylife Facebook: @blunt_notweed ROAD TO A THOUSAND DOWNLOADS!!! 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️💃