EP 85: Tamara's Story

"That was a moment for me that changed the trajectory of my life, my recovery; changed the connection with my wife, changed how I saw my kids; changed so much of me and who I was…" -Chris

In this short ‘Live Unashamed’ episode, Steve, James and Chris discuss resources that make a difference and how to find them. Good resources can initiate breakthroughs and sustain recovery, but they must have qualities that work for you like giving hope, helping with emotions and encouraging accountability and connection with others and with God. Steve encourages us to apply the “Fail Cheap and Fail Fast” principle to our search for resources and ends with an invitation to leave a comment about resources that have worked for you.

Do you have a story you are willing to share?  Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com. 

Kurt Francom, the Executive Director and Host of 'Leading Saints', returns to discuss the concepts behind his recently released book, "Is God Disappointed in me? Removing Shame from the Gospel of Grace." This episode explores the inspiration behind the book, drawing on Francom's experiences within the Unashamed Unafraid and Warrior Heart Boot Camp communities.

The book's title resonates with those of us navigating journeys marked by brokenness. Satan whispers that God is ashamed and that He surely can't love us. These lies are exposed through reflection on the nature of God and His commandments.  We ask whether God's love and patience flow through adjustable faucets contingent on our performance, or as constant, raging waterfalls. In tackling these and other questions, this episode contributes valuable insights to the process of recovery. 

Do you have a story you are willing to share?  Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com. 

Follow us on Instagram and Facebook @UnashamedUnafraid and subscribe to our Youtube channel @UnashamedUnafraidPod.

“I know where shame lives - and that’s in isolation.”

Breaking anonymity shares how God has changed us and the desire to help one person to change their life is real when we come alive in Christ’s healing. It is reaching out with the most important messages in a shame-filled world - “you are not alone, and you are worth everything.” 

It is easy for us to compare our suffering against others. To think our story is too small compared to others. Regardless of “little t traumas'' or “BIG T TRAUMAS” - we all have our pain. Our ways of dealing with that pain, and the shame and loneliness of trying to do it alone and getting those stories out in the open is how we share the message that “God loves you no matter what, because He loved me no matter what, and there is Hope and Healing through Christ.” 

“It isn’t just my story changing people’s lives - it is the story of God changing people’s lives.”

Do you have a story you are willing to share?  Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com. 

Caitlyn's life could have been shattered when she learned that her father, brother, and then the man she was thinking of marrying all struggled with addictions to pornography. However, steadfast in her faith in God and supported by therapy, she chose to view her loved ones independently of their addictions and to love them unconditionally. She dove into a life seasoned by recovery and hasn't looked back. 

Doing hard things is a defining aspect of Corbin's life. Summoning immense courage, he chose to disclose his addiction to Caitlyn while they were dating and then bravely faced her family. His unwavering commitment to recovery, marked by the promise to "never give up," stands as a testament to this defining trait.

Their relationship faced its toughest test in the initial six months of marriage, marked by slip-ups, avoidance, and feelings of abandonment. Together, they share how God has seen them and their 'secret sauce' for fighting for each other's hearts. Their favorite song reflects their story: "I come just as I am to you, and I know when I need grace, you give it wholehearted."

Do you have a story you are willing to share?  Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com. 

Join us as we dive into stereotypes about addiction that are regularly aired in the shame game of trying to run and hide and act out in secret.

A few mentioned early in this episode: 

1. Everybody who is an addict is non-functional - cannot hold down a job or a family.
2. Don’t let ANYBODY know because it is the worst thing you can be doing - my kids can’t play with other people’s kids anymore.
3. Once an addict, always an addict … 
4. The husband is a villain, the wife is a victim. 

Listen to this episode and leave us comments on what kept (or currently keeps) you in isolation and the cycle of confession and compulsion. 

When Christ healed the leper, he was no longer a leper. When he healed the blind, the blind could see. What’s keeping you from putting down the shackles of addiction and stepping into a new life of recovery? 

Do you have a story you are willing to share?  Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com. 

My name is Hunter and this is my story. From the outside, my life seemed to be on a perfect track for success and happiness. I grew up with two parents in a loving and loyal family. I was a talented young man who especially did well in school. All of the adults around me felt that I had a bright future ahead of me in basically any career that I could want. My peers all saw me as simply another kid who was goofy and got good grades. But on the inside, I had a pain that I couldn't even fully admit to myself.

Eventually I could no longer avoid the pain, and I found myself in the world of addiction recovery. After years of brutal self-honesty and therapy, I discovered that my relationship with my father largely shaped my view of myself. I had learned to push myself to become better using shame and unreasonable expectations: the way that my father had done with me. This shame-rooted relationship with my father then formed a lens that caused me to see God as a God of expectation. A God I couldn’t approach without feeling shame. 

Listen to my story to hear how I began to shed this lens and also see myself in a light of grace and self-worth.

If this episode resonates with you, or if you know someone who needs a reminder of God’s open arms, please share the link to this episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Do you have a story you are willing to share?  Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com. 

“When I watched porn again or relapsed, I felt God was done with me now … but Jesus fully sees me and fully knows my whole story, and still loves me. That is so powerful.” 

Amanda stumbled on pornography at an early age. Thinking she was alone in her addiction she finally decided to share it with a friend - willing to accept rejection - only to discover that her friend Katie struggles too. Along their journey they found other women similarly struggling and so they decided to start an Instagram ministry. They were surprised how viral their posts went and now have a sisterhood of survivors fighting to overcome the addictive behaviors needed to be heard and accepted, letting go of shame. 

Amanda can be contacted through Instagram @the_victory_collective and www.TheVictoryCollective.net/contact. 

If this episode resonates with you, or if you know someone who needs a reminder of God’s open arms, please share the link to this episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Do you have a story you are willing to share?  Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com. 

Matthew and Brooklyn brought both honesty and baggage into their relationship. Brooklyn’s achievement-based upbringing coupled with past mistakes left her wrestling with her sense of self-worth. Matthew's addiction to pornography led to a struggle with comparisons that cast a shadow of pain and darkness over the early years of their marriage.

Despite it all, their story is a heartwarming journey from light to darkness and on to redemption and deepening love. It’s full of God, good advice and good news.

If this episode resonates with you, or if you know someone who needs a reminder of God’s open arms, please share the link to this episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com. 

The UU crew get together to wrap up the year and answer the following questions:

1. What has been your favorite episode this past year and why?
2. What has been an area of growth for you this past year ?
3. If people can pray for you what do you need most?
4. What has been a meaningful worship song for you this past year?

As our gift to you, here is the song list from the UU team of their top 2023 “go to” tune:

Hurt People Hurt People – Tim McGraw

Holy Spirit, Come – Patrick Maybury

Rattle – Elevation Worship 

He Is With You – Adam Agee

Hold Me Together – Jervis Campbell

Your Way – KB

Yet – Ashley Hess & Maverick City Music

Remind Me Who I Am – Jason Grey

Specific – Krista Wells

I Am They – Scars

Hope – NF

Eagle – Elevation Worship

Pacific – Christa Wells 

Do you have a story you are willing to share?  Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com. 

“A relationship with a healer cannot exist without a wound to heal. Telling Jesus to go and heal another because ‘I’m good’ doesn’t allow Christ room to heal your heart and deepen a relationship with Him.”

Kurt shares his story of struggling in constantly seeking validation. He got an early massive dose of feeling good enough when he was called to be a bishop/pastor in church in his twenties and then continued to ascend up in leadership responsibilities. For him, his “lightbulb moment came with the realization that while he did not struggle with an addiction to drugs or lust, he was high on validation and used it as a numbing agent that separated him from Christ and other men.

Uniquely, this episode ends with a Bootcamp style prayer asking God or heal our need for validation. To fill the hole in our hearts we’ve tried to fill with things that are not God. 

You can contact Kurt through his Leading Saints podcast and website. 

If this episode resonates with you, or if you know someone who needs a reminder of God’s open arms, please share the link to this episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Do you have a story you are willing to share?  Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.