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    ep014 - Joy-Tender Carol McLeod’s Interview

    enOctober 19, 2018

    About this Episode

    Carol McLeod’s future is happening now. This joy-tender knew from the time she was in second grade that she was made to be an author . . . there was just one problem. She chose to have five beautiful children with the man of her dreams, the delights of her life, but it meant putting her writing dreams on the back burner. 

    According to Carol, Diane Sawyer once said, “In a woman’s life there are three things: career, marriage, and motherhood. And you can do two at once very well, but it’s hard to do all three at once very well.” 

    Carol decided that what was right for her during that season of life was to put her personal dream on hold and give her whole heart to marriage and motherhood. So while her dream of authoring simmered on the back burner, she tended and stirred her dream of marriage and motherhood on the front. She determined to raise world-changing children. But she did not let the flame go out from under her writing dream. 

    While tending her family dreams, Carol was still strategy-minded. She made it a point to learn about writing by reading books: classics, biographies, works by great theologians, even some books by authors she didn’t agree with. She learned how she wanted to approach her dream and how she did not. The diversity of a variety of styles filled her mind and kept her dream alive while she rocked babies and raised kids through school. 

    During her season of simmering, Carol also did something very unique—she interviewed people. She would pick their brains, pick their souls, and pick their hearts, to learn what was going on inside of them, helping her navigate her own life, but also fertilizing her dream with the insights she was gleaning. 

    Once, fascinated by a new news anchor, Carol began the tenacious act of pursuing a connection with her. Finally, she was able to schedule a meeting, and was surprised to find that the news anchor encouraged her, but that Carol was also able to encourage this woman who was on TV. They each learned from the other. 

    Carol, who calls herself an introvert with good social skills, shows us a courageous method any dream tender can learn from. She didn’t wait for a mentor to show up in her life, she was proactive in going out and finding people to learn from. She picked up the phone and made calls. She was intentional in matching her teachable spirit to those who are out there living their dreams successfully, so she could prepare herself for her future. And Carol’s future is happening now, as the author of ten books who keeps cranking out life-enhancing works, helping thousands of people to live enriched, higher quality, more joy-filled lives. 

    While she waited for her time, Carol also discovered that the wait was creating a better dream, that the simmering season was showing her the fullness of her true destiny. She learned the importance of waiting well. If you own your dream, waiting will only increase your determination, strengthen your skills, and enhance your opportunities.

     

    Filling Needs:

    • Are you waiting well? Are you making the most of the time while you are waiting for the opportunity to move full throttle into your dream tending potential?
    • Who could you interview—who are the influencers you could learn from? 
    • Are you reading and learning everything you can about what you are most passionate about?

    Carol knows the pit of depression, but she found the breakthrough as a result of her faith and her absorption of the Bible. Today, she is a force to be reckoned with, because she knows pain, but can share the power from what she’s learned—the perfect fodder for tending great dreams.

     

    This episode’s Dream Planting Tips:

    • Understand the season you’re in—don’t shovel snow when you should be planting flowers.
    • Give yourself fully to the people, circumstances, and breaths you have available right now, understanding that every experience will enrich your dream tending efforts. 
    • Find faith and grip hope. There are countless statistics, studies, and anecdotes proving the power of belief in something or Someone greater than yourself to help make dreams come true.  
    • Remind yourself, you are a force to be reckoned with—made to live boldly and confidently.
    • “Don’t waste your pain,” as Carol says. Let it be fertilizer to help you grow your dreams. 
    • Change someone else’s life in a positive way every single day. Whose life can you change today?
    • Determine to tend your dream very well. If you are juggling too many things, then reduce as you can, until you are able to make dream tending your priority.
    • No matter what season you are in, be strategy-minded. What small things can you plant today that will help your dreams grow and provide a harvest later?
    • Make everyday an tendtalk interview opportunity. Look for people to learn from and then tenaciously pursue every successful tidbit you can. 
    • Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaways and discounts from every episode. Go to tendyourdreams.com/freebie14 for your gift, just for tuning in. Don’t forget our product discount—20% off on all autographed books. Enter the coupon code TYD20 to snatch your deal.

    Discover more about Carol McLeod at justjoyministries.com, Facebook or Instagram. Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com

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    ep050 - One Minute Intervals to Tending Your Health Dreams

    ep050 - One Minute Intervals to Tending Your Health Dreams

    Tending our dreams requires a certain amount of energy and endurance. And for some of us, good physical health is the dream. But whether getting stronger, fitter, and more energetic is the desire, or whether you need those qualities to reinforce your ability to tend another dream, I’ve found some quick tips that have improved my productivity, my relationships, and my health.  

    This process works great for anyone like me, who has a hurried and sometimes harried life. It’s especially effective for increasing efficiency when you need to get more done in a shorter amount of time. It’s also great for improving your marriage, but if having a happier romantic relationship is your dream, we’ll cover those specifics in other episodes. For now, let’s talk about how to tend your health dreams with my One Minute Intervals™ method.  

    Right now, I’m promoting my two latest book releases, writing a new proposal, and getting ready to leave for a big ghostwriting project in another state. I’ll be gone for almost two weeks, and even when I get back, will face long, intensively focused work days. On top of that, I’ve got a messed up thyroid.  

    Hashimoto’s stagnates your metabolism, disrupts your energy, and weakens your endurance. But after reading several books and the latest online research, I’ve developed a natural protocol that is working beautifully to restore and maintain my thyroid health. We’ll talk details on next week’s episode. But for this one, we’re going to concentrate on one particular aspect of my protocol—One Minute Intervals™.  

    Writing, speaking, coaching, and podcasting are the dreams I tend that allow me to fulfill my abundant purpose of educating, inspiring, and encouraging today’s influencers. But unless I tend to my health, I cannot tend those dreams. The same is true for you. I hope this simple and easy-to-implement process helps you tend your dreams, too. 

     

    My Health History 

    Hashimoto’s makes exercise hard, especially long periods of aerobic activity. This is difficult for someone like me to handle, since I’ve been athletic most of my life. As a young girl, I lived in the country, where my siblings and me ran the hills and hollers of Missouri, dodging trees, rocks, and vines. 

    We raced, played hide-and-seek, and tag on a daily basis. Because we live in tornado alley, we even developed our own game where we played “tornado”, twisting and twirling until we fell to the ground, rolling in laughter. My feet were bare-feet tough, allowing me to walk on gravel and rocks without shoes, and my calves and thighs were muscled and lithe. 

    In high school, I played every sport available to me: volleyball, basketball, softball, cross-country, and track. I practiced by running three miles daily, regardless of rain, snow, sleet, or a beating sun. I didn’t have to worry about what I ate, because I burned calories like butter in a hot skillet. And I had the energy for all of it. 

    But as an adult, I began to feel a shift in my body, which meant I soon struggled to do half of what I had easily been able to tackle before. Today, I’m not able to do a quarter of it. When things reached their worst, if I had allowed myself to dwell negatively on my condition, I’d have given up, and relegated myself to a life of inactivity and overwhelming sadness. But I’m a dreamtender, not a quitter. So, I searched until I found a solution that worked for me. That’s where I figured out the One Minute Intervals™ method—the system that with my thyroid protocol, came to my health rescue. 

    One Minute Intervals™ for Health 

    This is the process—it’s crazy in its simplicity. After reading several medical studies that said the accumulation of aerobic activity was as effective as doing it in one continuous routine, I began to think about my exercise options in a new way. After all, some call me Anita Fresh Faith, for my tagline, “It’s never too late for a fresh start with fresh faith.”

    Why couldn’t I exercise for shorter periods throughout the day, allowing my body to recuperate in between, and preventing thyroid burnout? I decided sixty seconds at a time was a great place to start. However, it wasn’t quite that easy.

    When I first began, I walked in place while I brushed my teeth (carefully, of course). But thirty seconds in, I was out of breath. So I gave myself thirty seconds to rest, then did thirty seconds more. Every time I used the restroom, after washing my hands, I did another interval: thirty seconds of walking in place or knee raises, thirty seconds of rest, and thirty more seconds of walking.

    After a couple of days, I added air boxing in the shower for thirty seconds, resting thirty, and then air boxing for thirty seconds more. This allowed me to work on toning my arms. 

    Within three weeks, my endurance improved, and I was able to walk and air box for sixty seconds straight without stopping, although my muscles burned by the end. I was also adding more intervals into my day. But I admit, it did surprise me at how much my heart raised in such a short amount of time. 

    I started dancing for One Minute Intervals™ around the fourth week, and could feel the effects in my core. By this time, I was doing 30-45 intervals on most days, but on others, was motivated to get out and walk for longer consecutive periods. Every week, I felt stronger, had more energy, and my endurance increased. 

    Today, I can walk while air boxing for 30-45 minutes without stopping. I still switch up between focusing my exercise on legs, arms, and my core, but I keep adding new routines for variety and to work different muscle groups. And during periods like the one coming up, where I’ll be sequestered in a room with someone whose book I’m writing, for very long, intense days, I’ll use One Minute Intervals™ to ensure I stay strong and energized. Not only will working out sixty seconds at a time help me complete the projects I need to finish now, but they will ensure I am healthy enough to tackle the other opportunities that come my way. After all, I get to do this, because I am tending my dreams. 

    Filling Needs: 

    1. What health focus do you need to concentrate on?
    2. Are your energy, strength, and endurance optimal for tending your dreams?
    3. Where can you squeeze a few One Minute Intervals™ into your days? 

    When was the last time you saw a doctor to evaluate your health? Are there issues you need to address or problems you need to prevent, that will help protect your dreams for the long-term?

     

    This episode’s Dream Tending Tips:

    • Brainstorm a list of every physical activity you could do for 30-60 second intervals. This will save you time and frustration when a moment of opportunity strikes. 
    • Set a goal for the number of One Minute Intervals™ you will do each day—then make it your mission to achieve it. My minimum is 30. It’s surprising how easy it is to do 30-45 intervals in a single day.
    • Take a weekly Sabbath, where you allow your body to completely rest and recover for one day. 
    • When you start, take a picture of yourself the first day and save it in a special file. Then each week on the same day, take a new photo. Don’t expect to see a marked difference for the first 4-6 weeks, but if you persist, you will soon feel and see results. 
    • Focus on different parts of your body on different days. I do legs one day, arms another, and sometimes my core as a third. 
    • Keep a diary of how you feel. You can write a page, or simply a single line. But the point is to give yourself a measuring system, and an encouragement to review and reflect on. 
    • Resolve to do One Minute Intervals™ six days a week for a minimum of 90 days, in order to give yourself every opportunity to succeed.

    I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.  

    But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.  

    You can also get autographed copies of any of my books from my website.  

    Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:  

    Take courage. 

    Excel daily. 

    Never stop believing. 

    Dare to dream bigger. 

    Host Anita Agers-Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

    ep049 - Seeing Your Own Value

    ep049 - Seeing Your Own Value

    I decided to do something different on my morning walk today. I can’t exactly explain what spurred the thought, but I chose to pay close attention to the flowers. Maybe it’s because I’ve been working extra hard to catch up after losing so much time to a shoulder, neck, and arm injury on my right side that cost me almost three months of real productivity. I’m also getting ready to fly out for 10 days of intensive ghostwriting for a person I cannot name, so there are a lot of loose ends to tie before I leave. Or, it might be due to the especially long winter we had that made me ache for this time of year.  

    But whatever the reason, our Missouri wildflowers are especially appealing to me this year. So on my walk, I made it my mission to stop and admire every variety I saw, and then to take a picture. However, I did not anticipate how this action would remind me of some important facts related to tending dreams.  

    I first spotted a wild rose bush. Though they aren’t as large, full, and aromatic as domesticated roses, they are still gorgeous. I noticed that most have five fragile, flat, pink petals. This rose is not one you would see in a show-case, but when you don’t overlook it, as most of us often do, you see its beauty hidden in plain sight. I think some of our talents are much the same. We and others overlook them, often undervaluing what we have to offer. 

    Next, I stopped to take a photo of a white yucca in bloom. Unlike most blossoms, it’s flowers point upside down along the stem. You have to lift a blossom up to see all of the beauty inside. Many of us fight the parts of ourselves that make us feel especially different from other people. But when we see our differences as ways to stand out, we often find real value beneath. Instead of fighting areas that feel upside down from the norm, we would benefit by putting in effort to lift those differences to the forefront. 

    I saw two species of white and yellow daisies while I walked as well. Some were larger with wide petals and dime-sized gold cores. Others were petite, with white petals so close they looked like fringe dotted with small, pale yellow buttons. No two blooms were exactly alike—though they were of the same family, fulfilling the same purpose. I’ve noted something similar about dreamtenders. Two people can tend identical dreams, but their results will not be exactly the same. Personality, gender, history and experience, as well as current opportunities, will influence outcomes. But this diversity only enhances the results for each. Dreamtenders don’t need to battle against each other, instead, we need to remember that our value increases when we work cooperatively.  

    As I finished my walk, I saw violet bluebells, white Queen’s Lace, black-eyed susans, fuchsia clover blooms, purple echinacea, and some red, yellow, and purple varieties I didn’t recognize. But since I was moving in to look closely with an eye for appreciation, I noticed that every flower I’ve mentioned had two things in common. They each had at least one flaw and they all had a unique value. This brings me to you and me.  

    Every year, I choose a One Word focus. (Or I should say, my One Word chooses me.) Toward the end of the year prior, a particular word will keep cropping up, and after enough times, I know that’s my next year’s emphasis. This year, my word is value.  

    This is also the time of year, around the mid-way point, where I review to make sure I’m still giving my One Word the attention it deserves. Maybe that’s why the flaws and values of each flower stood out to me—or maybe it was because you needed to hear this message.  

    Either way, my walk made me reflect on how we think about ourselves, and in response, how we treat ourselves. I don’t know about you, but too many times, I’ve looked in the mirror and seen nothing but my imperfections.  

    In the past, I’ve only concentrated on my flaws, and therefore, overlooked my own value. I’ve also missed the inner gifts, talents, and abilities that may not be evident on the surface, but like the wild rose, with just a little attention, became something that added value to the world.  

    I’ve seen my differences as negatives, when instead, they gave me character in a way that brought others happiness. For instance, I have a naturally crooked smile, but like the upside down Yucca, my cockeyed smile represents something valuable—my commitment to be a joy-splasher.  

    I used to worry about competition, but now I see that people who are tending the same kinds of dreams as me are kindred spirits. Together, we make a beautiful bouquet. We are similar, yet each of us has distinct inflections that add special value.  

    I actually have lots of flaws and imperfections, like all of the flower varieties I saw as I walked. But, many of my flaws aren’t as obvious as they are to others, and even if they are, not everyone will have appreciation for what I have to offer—and that’s okay. The fact is, my defects don’t discount me as a dreamtender. Instead, they help make me the remarkable, distinctive, and extraordinary person especially able to fulfill my abundant purpose on this earth. The same is true for you.  

    Don’t focus on what you see as shortcomings. Instead, see your differences as valuable. You have things to offer that no one else does in exactly the way you can. You were made for an exceedingly abundant life.  

    But you will only experience it if you do what only you can do. We need your gifts, talents, and abilities. If you need to tend them before they’re ready for the world to see, that’s okay. It’s actually important for you to take the time necessary to tend your dreams fully—so you can give us all the value you were made for. Without your color, our planet will lack luster, and who wants to live in a dull world.  

     

    Filling Needs: 

    1. When you look in the mirror do you see only imperfection, or do you see any value reflected there?
    2. How does nature inspire you in your dreamtending efforts?
    3. Where would we be if life-changing dreamtenders like Mozart, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Florence Nightingale, Mother Teresa, Celine Dion, Henry Ford, or others had focused on their weaknesses more than their strengths? 

    If you were a flower, what variety do you think you’d be?

     

    This episode’s Dream Tending Tips:

    • Make a list of your talents, abilities, and gifts. Dare to review it often, to offset any obsession with perceived defects. 
    • What value might your dreams provide if you achieved them? 
    • Look at your flaws, imperfections, or defects differently than you have before—how might they add uniqueness and character to your dreamtending efforts?
    • Have you ever considered that your perceived weaknesses might be opportunities in disguise? If we’re too perfect, other people can’t relate to us. Your imperfections can actually make you more relevant. 
    • Do you need to catch up or tie up some loose ends to free you up to concentrate on your dreams more fully? If so, take it one step and keep at it. You will get there. 
    • How long has it been since you stopped and admired nature, noticing the details and inflections that offer creative ideas, inspirations, and motivations to help you tend your dreams?
    • What One Word focus or resolutions have you made for this year? Are you staying true to them?

    I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.  

    But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.  

    You can also get autographed copies of any of my books from my website.  

     

    Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:  

    Take courage. 

    Excel daily. 

    Never stop believing. 

    Dare to dream bigger. 

    Host Anita Agers-Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

    ep048 - Making Your Meaningful Difference

    ep048 - Making Your Meaningful Difference

    You were made to make a meaningful difference. Maybe you do it by making people laugh, and helping them escape their problems for a bit. Or perhaps your gift of artistry touches people’s souls through song or paints. Or maybe you simply provide a listening ear, an open heart, a compassionate spirit, or an accepting smile to people. I know some people who make their difference in the privacy of their homes, where only they and God are aware, as they lift people up in prayer, and move spiritual mountains on behalf of the hurting and helpless.  

    It doesn’t matter what you are gifted and drawn to do, what matters is that you actually do it. Otherwise, not only do you miss out, but so does the world. Let me tell you a brief story from my own life, that proved to me once again, that honing my raw talents into something truly usable helped me make a meaningful difference. But as I share, don’t just think about me.  

    Think about you. What are you made to do? Who are you meant to help? What might you be missing out on if you don’t gather your courage and act on that dream whispering into your soul? 

    Just a couple of days ago, I attended a book study group meeting. The group leader, Angela, had invited me to come talk with their growing number of members to discuss how my book, Exceedingly: Spiritual Strategies for Living on Purpose, with Purpose, and for an Abundant Purpose was impacting the them. I arrived a few hours early, so Angela and I could spend some time together first. We had a great time, talking about many aspects of life. Then the group members began to arrive, along with some surprises.  

    I was first shocked at the mix of men and women. For some reason, I did not expect that many men would even read Exceedingly, much less be so actively involved in a discussion of the book. I assumed the group consisted almost exclusively of women—boy was I wrong.  

    Secondly, once we ate our meal (which was amazing), and started talking, I was struck by the level of emotion among most of those in attendance. Women teared up, but actually, even more of the men did. And the stories that unfolded that night! Some of them brought me to tears. Multiple times as I stood in front of the group, I thought about the privilege of touching lives in this way. I was living my own book out—this was exceedingly, abundantly more than I could have ever imagined or thought! 

    When the evening ended, each person lined up and waited patiently for their turn to talk with me. I was again deeply touched, as some spoke in almost a whisper, entrusting their dreams to me, or to tell me how Exceedingly was stirring a renewed desire to discover and live out their purpose. Some even had new stories of recent events that had taken place, because the book had given them the courage to take action in meaningful ways, instead of letting fear hold them back.  

    The entire evening was an author’s dream. To meet people face-to-face whose souls are ignited with passion, and who are fired up to go out and make a difference in the world, because of the influence of words you penned through emotional sweat, tears, and blood? Now that’s an amazing moment.  

    I’ve also received emails from complete strangers, or read their reviews on Amazon, Goodreads, and other online sites, saying things like this line about my book, Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over, “Your book saved my life, I was going to commit suicide, and what you wrote helped me not give up.”  

    Or the person who wrote about Exceedingly, “After reading it, I purchased five more copies to study with friends. I read it quickly the first time, over half in the first day, but now I want to go back and absorb it, while discussing the questions at the end of each chapter with my friends.” 

    Or the lady at the book study group the other night who said, “It really struck me when I was reading Exceedingly, that I need to quit wasting my life. In chapter 4, you asked two questions: ‘How will I feel if your entire life passes and I reach the end wondering, What if?’ And, ‘What’s the worst thing that happens if I try and fail?’ Now I’m committed to fulfilling my purpose before it’s too late.” (Now you see why I was brought to tears more than once at that meeting.) 

    But why do I tell you this?  

    Because I want you to know how close I came to never having made the meaningful difference these people are saying I’m making through my books. I came VERY close to letting fear have its way, so that I never took those early steps to pursuing my dream of being a published author. Even though I had dreamed about seeing my name on a book from the time I was a little girl, when it came to actually doing something, the thought caused the blood to rush to my head, and anxiety seemed to grip my heart with its ice-cold claws. Thankfully, I prayed and persisted through. Otherwise, I would not have the honor of impacting other people today. I get to influence people to live out their dreams, like I hope I’m doing for you today.  

    I want you to experience the amazing feeling of seeing your dreams come true. I want you to know the thrill of making your meaningful difference. I urge you—do not let fear have its way in your life. Do something. Anything. Within the next 24 hours. Toward the pursuit of your dream. I promise it’s true—you WERE made for more. You WERE made to make a meaningful difference. 

     

    Filling Needs: 

    1. When was the last time you did something proactive toward pursuing your dream?
    2. What could you start today that will get you closer to turning your dream into reality?
    3. Why do you think you are holding yourself back? 

    What is one single step you can take to get you started at making your dream come true?

     

    This episode’s Dream Tending Tips:

    • Allow yourself to imagine what it would feel like to accomplish your dream. Where would you go? Who would you see? How would others react in positive ways? 
    • When negative images try to play on your mind—shut them down! This is fear’s greatest weapon in trying to hold you back. 
    • Ask the people around you how you are, or can, make a meaningful difference? 
    • Why do you think we are wired to make a meaningful difference? Why does it matter to you?
    • When do you feel the most alive? Is it making people laugh? Listening? Seeing people’s reactions when you use your talents, giftings, and abilities? 
    • If you work for someone else, where can you make a meaningful difference there? Sometimes our talents and dreams are best used right where we already are. 
    • Give yourself permission to live the life of meaning you were made for. Don’t hold back. You can’t go wrong by making it your mission to make a difference. 

    I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.  

    But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.  

    You can also get autographed copies of any of my books from my website.  

    Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:  

    Take courage. 

    Excel daily. 

    Never stop believing. 

    Dare to dream bigger. 

    Host Anita Agers-Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

    ep047 - Communication is Not Cliche—7 Secrets to Successful Dream Tending

    ep047 - Communication is Not Cliche—7 Secrets to Successful Dream Tending

    We’ve all heard it hundreds of times. To date, it ranks as one of my most requested speaking topics—for professional and inspirational groups. Women and men are hungry for more of the same thing. 

    • What’s the most important requirement and biggest missing element for those wanting to tend a great marriage? 
    • When speaking to both the leadership and the front line people, I’m told organizations who want to tend success are weakest at, and need to focus on, this area. 
    • Parents speaking about their children and children speaking about their parents bring up the same thing. 
    • Professionals at the top and professionals climbing the ladder mention similar pet peeves. 

    And all are speaking about the exact same issue: a need to improve communication. Want to solve the world’s problems? In a nutshell, this covers most of it. Clear and effective communication is truly the answer to many of our conflicts, issues, and confusions. 

    But sadly, I think we hear the word communication brought up so much, we treat it as if it were some worn out cliche. In fact, it is one of the great secrets to living a happier, healthier, and more peace-filled life—at home and and at work.  

    As a business, marriage, and life coach, I spend more of my time and energy on communication in some form than I do anything else. I’ve learned a tremendous amount about effective communication—about what works and what does not.  

    Currently, I’m doing some business coaching that involves family members in top leadership positions. And as I facilitate meetings designed to help them work through unresolved issues, buried resentments and anger, confusion, along with other emotional hot buttons, I continually remind them of the power of clear communication. Words (or lack of them) have the power to harm or to heal, to draw or repel, to bring profit or destruction, depending on how we wield them.  

    There are seven specific secrets that are most often overlooked, and if missed, create the greatest invisible drains, when it comes to undermining our dreams. So let’s unpack them today. 

     

    7 Secrets to Effective Communication for Dream Tenders:

    • Do not dominate or monopolize conversations. You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. I love Proverbs 10:19. In the Message version it says, "The more talk the less truth; the wise measure their words.” Successful dream tending requires that you sharpen your listening skills.
    • Do not interrupt. Let other people finish their thoughts and sentences! And especially don’t cut someone off to tell them what they think or believe. Stop attempting to mind read. Who are you to believe you can tell someone what they are thinking more than what they know themselves? Assuming or projecting your opinions onto other people is a dangerous disruption to any dream tending relationship, professional or personal. There may be more or less to the situation than what you presume. Interrupting and cutting people off when they are talking will not only destroy those relationships—you WILL destroy your dreams with this kind of behavior.
    • Resolve to keep your tone calm, honest, and respectful. Right-fighting only makes you look more wrong. Stripping someone else of their dignity shows others you are a jerk. Raising your voice and throwing your weight around because you can, will not get the results you want. Making patronizing, cutting, or subliminal digs turns people off. And all of these behaviors will make people leave you and your dreams in the dust.
    • Clarify what you thought you heard when responding. Repeat what you thought the speaker said by using statements like these: "If I understood what you meant, you said, '_______________________."  "If I heard you right, you said, '__________________________." 
    • Keep communication professional at all times. You might believe you’ve become close with a professional tie, but don’t kid yourself into getting so comfortable you make a mistake that could cost you your dreams. 
    • Don’t make inappropriate jokes. 
    • Do not gossip or bad mouth others. 
    • Don’t use profanity, even if the other person does. It’s a subconscious trigger signaling that you cannot control yourself and conduct yourself in a professional manner. 
    • And do not call others by pet names—especially if they are older than you or hold a higher position. There’s nothing more sickening than being called hun, babe, or sweetie by a person who doesn’t have the experience, credibility, or relationship to speak to you as if you are a younger family member.
    • Communicate!!! Answer your prospects, clients, customers, vendors, colleagues, or anyone else who is or might be affiliated with your ability to tend your dreams. Silence is far from golden if they have reached out to you and you do not respond. In fact, this kind of silence will lead you to bankruptcy or at least to the abrupt end to your dreams. 
    • Keep your word when you say you will do something. On time—every time. Part of professional communication is being believable when you say something. It won’t take too many let-downs for people to stop giving you a chance, bringing your dreams crashing down with that broken trust. 

    Filling Needs: 

    1. What kind of listener are you—honestly? Do you fight to be heard or do you give others a voice?
    2. Do you communicate clear expectations early and often, to reduce unnecessary confusion and conflict?
    3. Do you talk at people or to them? 

    What are the three weakest areas of communication for you right now that you could focus on improving?

     

    This episode’s Dream Tending Tips:

    • Take a cue from Stephen Covey, in his best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Seek first to understand—then to be understood.  
    • Be open to ideas, solutions, collaborations, feedback, and even critiques others communicate.
    • Become intentional to put yourself in the path of at least one person who is willing to disagree with you. Unpopular counsel can be a great stretching tool. One mistake many dream tenders make is surrounding themselves with those who tell them what their itching ears want to hear. But wise counsel, even if painful to hear, leads to profit and success. 
    • Audit your communication skills on a regular basis—both as a speaker and as a listener. Are you clear, concise, and effective? Are your ears, mind, and heart open? 
    • When you speak, is what you’re saying relevant to the current topic, situation, or issue? Are your words appropriate for the current conversation? 
    • Do you show authentic interest in what others have to say? Are you engaged, intentionally focusing on what they are telling you? 
    • Work on catching any habits you might have to make assumptions, pre-determined opinions, and projections. Then change them. Develop yourself as someone who fully hears what other people have to say, and watch your dream tending efforts expand. 

    I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.  

    But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.  

    You can also get autographed copies of any of my books from my website.  

    Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:  

    Take courage. 

    Excel daily. 

    Never stop believing. 

    Dare to dream bigger. 

    Host Anita Agers-Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.