Episode 73: Death by Suicide
Today is a different take on the question “What is Possible?” Warning…don’t listen if you want to avoid growth in the area of death by suicide. Yesterday I was asked to do another episode because it has been a couple weeks. I know this beautiful human was not expecting such a heavy subject, especially knowing that suicide has affected her in such an intimate way. What I didn’t tell her is that 6 days ago a friend of mine on the other side of the country died by suicide. While I’m recording this, he is being buried. This is for you Joe and anyone else who has died by suicide. I’m offering this episode as a way for him to live on, positively influencing as many people who listen to this…
· Most of us walk around with masks on. Some are more elaborate and cover more than others, but we all do it. Ex. anxiety about work, relationship pain, feeling inadequate as a parent, fearing being a burden, etc.
· Why do we do it? (safety, acceptance, and love)
· What if we were seen for who we really are?
o Our bodies are just our vehicles.
· It is so easy to ask why people do suicide…We are all accomplices in every death by suicide…we are not creating an environment were people feel safe to explore and express themselves fully. They cannot trust that they will be accepted for being a little different than what they were told to be (generations). They cannot trust that they will be loved beyond their problematic vehicles. That’s on me, you, all of us. NO ONE PERSON, ALL OF US!
· It is so hard to hear, but the most religious and spiritual groups tend to the biggest culprits.
· Every time we look down at someone for the way they look or dress, judge them for a tattoo, piercing, hairstyle, judge them for the way their vehicle is not properly working, criticize them for how they “should” be doing things, find fault in how they are coping with their pain
· Faulty vehicles (emotional brain). We can see the world as bunch of broken vehicles or see the infinite souls that reside in the bodies.
· We know why we do it. We don’t feel safe. When we don’t feel safe, we try to control everything around us or just avoid an distract ourselves so we can create a sense of safety/security within us.
· I’m not asking you to start a non-profit, join a group, or volunteer every Saturday. It starts with the way you treat yourself. I may not have shown it today, but I have a lot of empathy for us because I know those who are the most judgement and critical with the world are the worst to themselves. For the group that avoids facing those inner shadows and thinks they are loving others…hear me, listening and understanding communicates love more than telling them what to do or how to do their lives. Again, this is just a reflection of your fears…you fear not being enough for the person in front of you. Again, you feel unsafe. You don’t have to make this about you. Make it truly about them. Genuinely listen, understand, and ask what they need. Most times, by the time you get to the question of “what do you need?” you have already give it to them. You were the gift.
· So this is my ask for Joe and all the others who have died by suicide. Treat yourself well enough to where you don’t have to judge others to feel safe. Create a safe, accepting, and loving environment within yourself for yourself so that everyone around you can take off the masks. Otherwise, we may never see who is really beneath the mask.
· If you need help understanding how to create this type of environment for yourself or others, find a guide. LLT is a self-guided option.