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    Episode 25: What's up with denial (part 1)?

    en-usJuly 04, 2023
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    About this Episode

    With your Co-Hostesses:
    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

    Welcome to Season 2:
    At Hope For Wives where we acknowledge the devastation of sexual betrayal and infidelity while offering practical insight and hope for healing, all through a Christian lens. We also hope you’ll find some joy through laughter in spite of our serious subject.
     
    Pam, Lyschel, and I are returning to the recording studio from a 6 month hiatus which was loudly protested by many of our precious listeners. We heard you! and We also want to model for you what excellent self-care and self-containtment boundaries look like.Before we get into the meat of our discussion today, which is around Denial and Betrayal Blindness, we are going to first briefly remind you all of who we are and our mission with this podcast.
     
    Pam – We’ve seen through the last season that our audience includes not only betrayed partners, but husbands in recovery, CSATs, APSATs, marriage and family therapists, and religious leaders.
     
    Lyschel – We commit to continuing to intentionally format this podcast as a “road map to recovery.”
     
    Bonny – As mentioned in the intro, our mission is to acknowledge the devastation of sex betrayal and infidelity while offering practical insight and hope for healing it’s all through a Christian lens and we also hope you’ll find some joy through laughter in spite of our serious subject.

    We will be discussing:

    1. When we talk about a betrayed wife possibly experiencing denial, what do we mean?
    2. Did you ever experience denial or “betrayal blindness?”
    3. What grace/hope we can offer our listeners?

    Catch the rest of this discussion in our next episode. Thanks for joining us for Season 2! If you want to help others find our podcast, please leave a 5 star rating and a positive review. Also, if our discussions have helped you in any way, would you consider donating to the expenses of this podcast, podcast production and syndication all involves fees that we have been paying out of pocket? It would help us tons if you would like to help with production costs.

    Help Us Help Others:

    If you have found our discussions helpful, please consider contributing to the cost of production and syndication. Thank you very much! 

    Click Here to Donate

    Recent Episodes from Hope For Wives

    Episode 55: Divorce Care with Kim Hansen Petroni

    Episode 55: Divorce Care with Kim Hansen Petroni

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

    Listen now:

    Today, Lyschel has a conversation with Kim Hansen Petroni around the question of divorce. Kim is an APSATS certified partner coach and has experienced divorce. She is in the process of becoming a certified divorce coach.

    We Will be Discussing:

    • What should a wife ask herself when she’s struggling around the decision of divorce?
    • What about the tension between the grief/the emotions and the next right thing?
    • What are some free or cost-friendly legal resources?
    • What are some free or cost-friendly resources for women who have already divorced?
    • What is the number one thing a woman needs to heal?
    • What does God really say about divorce?

    Resources mentioned in this show:

    • To find all of Kim’s resources and blog posts, check out her website, Coaching Hope 4 U.

    Help Us Help Others

    Episode 54: How Do I Know I'm Healing? (2/2)

    Episode 54: How Do I Know I'm Healing? (2/2)

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

    Listen now:

    Today, Pam and I are finishing our conversation around “How Do I Know That I’m Healing.” (Lyschel still isn’t with us, but she will be back soon!
     
    We have a practical conversation, about things you can do to assess are you healing or stuck?

    We Will be Discussing:

    1. What can she practically do to help her move forward in her healing and recovery?
    2. What hope can we leave our listeners?

    Resources mentioned in this show:

    Scripture references:

    Episode 53: How Do I Know I'm Healing? (1/2)

    Episode 53: How Do I Know I'm Healing? (1/2)

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

    Listen now:

    Today, Pam and I are discussing, “How Do I Know I’m Healing?” (Lyschel isn’t here because she is taking a very small sabbatical because her plate is very full at the moment. She will be back soon, promise! I know we will all miss her!)
     
    Back to our topic, “How Do I Know I’m healing?” sometimes, in the worst of the pain or when we have a day full of triggers it can feel like we are going to be raw and seeping for the rest of our lives. We want to give you validate your experience and give perspective on how healing happens.

    We Will be Discussing:

    1. What can a woman experience that makes her feel stuck?
    2. What questions can she ask herself to assess if she is in fact stuck?
    3. What hope can we leave our listeners?

    Help Us Help Others

    Episode 52: When He Keeps Lying (2/2)

    Episode 52: When He Keeps Lying (2/2)

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

    Today we are continuing our discussion around, “When Your Husband Keeps Lying,” adding practical tools to care for yourself while navigating continued deception.
     
    So, the scenario is, she keeps discovering his deception (and possibly it is not deception about his acting out behaviors, it can be deception about anything), whether it’s through words or actions.

    We Will be Discussing:

    1. What are some things she should ask herself?
    2. What are some practical strategies to help her stay sane?
    3. What is some hope we can leave her?

    Resources mentioned in this show:

    Help Us Help Others

    Episode 51: When He Keeps Lying (1/2)

    Episode 51: When He Keeps Lying (1/2)

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

     
    Today we discuss, "When Your Husband Keeps Lying."
     
    We understand that experiencing constant deception is not only emotionally exhausting, but can keep us in a state of complex trauma. 
    .

    We Discuss:

    1. Let's talk about what women are desiring when it comes to honesty in their marriage relaitonship.
    2. What is complex trauma and how does continual deception promote it?
    3. What hope can we leave?

    Resources

    Episode 6: Boundaries for Partners of People with Unwanted Problematic Sexual Behavior

    Episode 21: Q&A - Boundaries and Why do I Stay?

    Building True Intimacy by Dan Drake and Matthew & Joanna Raabsmith

    Episode 50: The Betrayed Family with Jessica Eidens (2/2)

    Episode 50: The Betrayed Family with Jessica Eidens (2/2)

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

     

    Today, Bonny continues her conversation with Jessica Eidens, a betrayed families specialist.

    We Discuss:

    1. How does a betrayed partner (wife) navigate when the person with SA has been objectifying their own child (not in a physical manner, just in the brain).
    2. What does a healthy family in recovery look like?
    3. What hope can we leave our friends?

    Resources

    Episode 49: The Betrayed Family with Jessica Eidens (1/2)

    Episode 49: The Betrayed Family with Jessica Eidens (1/2)

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

     

    Our previous episode, “What about the kids?” is one of our most downloaded episodes. This tells us there is a need for more insight and understanding around how problematic sexual behavior affects the family.

    So, today, I’d like to welcome Jessica Eidens, a betrayed families specialist.

    We Discuss:

    1. What are the red flags children exhibit from the dynamics of a marriage in conflict over problematic sexual behavior?
    2. What are some tools for children to learn how to navigate their emotions?
    3. What is a family disclosure and when is it appropriate?

    Resources

    Episode 48: Your Healing is Not Dependent on His Recovery (2/2)

    Episode 48: Your Healing is Not Dependent on His Recovery (2/2)

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

     
    Today, we continue our discussion around how a wife can heal even when her husband is not in good emotional and behavioral health, yet. We will be focusing on practical tools and ideas you can use to care for yourself and move into personal growth in spite of her husband's lag in recovery.

    We Discuss:

    1. Why should a wife focus on herself in this season?
    2. What are some ways a wife can care for herself in this tough season? (Self-assess your safety, get into a support group for validation and education, do your own personal therapy work for childhood trauma, join a boundaries group if boundaries are hard for you)
    3. What hope can we leave our listeners?

    Resources

    Episode 8: Self Care with Practical Ideas

    Episode 33: Why are Cognitive Distortions Important to Understand when Healing from Betrayal Trauma?

    Episode 34: How Do We Navigate or Heal From Cognitive Distortions

    Pam's Clarity and Peace with Boundaries Group

    Lyschel's Hope Redefined Boundaries Group

    Episode 47: Your Healing is Not Dependent on His Recovery (1/2)

    Episode 47: Your Healing is Not Dependent on His Recovery (1/2)

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

     
    In today's episode, we are discussing how your healing is not dependent on your husband's recovery. This conversation has wives in mind that have been on this road for several years now and there is still a good bit of relational conflict in the marriage.  In our next episode, we will talk about practical tools you can consider to care for yourself while he is still moving toward solid emotional health. For today, we are talking about what it means for you, that your healing is not dependent on his recovery.

    We Discuss:

    1. What kind of situations and feelings can come up for a wife when his recovery is slow going?
    2. Let's talk about the concept that a wife's healing is not dependent on his recovery.
    3. What hope can we leave a wife who is in this situation?

    Episode 46: Navigating the Holidays after Betrayal

    Episode 46: Navigating the Holidays after Betrayal

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

     
    With the holidays right around the corner, we talk about how to navigate this season that can be tricky for betrayed wives.

    We Discuss:

    1. What makes the holidays hard to navigate after a recent discovery?
    2. What are some practical tools for finding stability and sanity during a holiday season?
    3. What hope can we leave our listeners?

    Resources mentioned in this show:

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