EPISODE 28: Just EFFing Stop Beating Yourself Up!

In this episode we speak with Erin Patten, a madre to a little boy, whose world was turned upside by her ex-partner who accused her of not taking care of their son, who had been suffering from a digestive condition that didn’t allow for him to keep much of anything that was given to him down.  So, just to be vindictive because of their split up, he called CPS (Child Protective Services) on her accusing her of malnourishment, and her son was taken away from her for 30 agonizing days. She had to go through hell and back through this situation, and once she was able to get her son back because her ex had no evidence to stand on, she said EFF IT and decided to get out of where she was in her life, and start a whole new timeline, in a whole new place and in a whole new, beautiful home.  This has been one of the hardest experiences she has gone through, especially as someone with a prolific corporate career and as a Harvard graduate,  but it has helped guide her onto the path of helping others by becoming a Metaphysical Master by integrating data-driven tools with ancient metaphysical principles to businesses and corporations.  You just have to EFFing know who you are.  And, as Erin put it so powerfully, “The more you know you, the better you can be you!” To follow Erin and her journey, please give her a follow on Instagram at @iamerinpatten, check out her website at www.erinpatten.com, and listen to her podcast, The MetaBusiness Millennial Podcast on all the popular podcast platforms. 

In this episode, we speak with Angie Guerrero, a madre of a 13 year girl, a guardian to her niece and nephew, and a stepmom to her son.  She decided to say EFF IT when a financial opportunity presented itself by becoming a surrogate, and she decided to move forward with the decision because it would help her and her family. What it also did was allow her to help someone else in need in a very significant way.  So, although it initially started out as a financial decision, she realized that she was providing so much impact to someone by carrying their child and bringing it into this world.  Sometimes, you have to make big EFFing decisions for the sake of your family, and whatever it is that you need to do is what is best for you.  And, a lot of those decisions start out being for one reason, and then you realize the magnitude of what making that decision does for others. In Angie’s case, it affected someone’s life in a very positive way, aside from her own.  As much as it is important to be selfish sometimes, you can EFFing be selfless sometimes too, and impact people in a big way with the decisions that you make.  To learn more about becoming a surrogate, you can google “Surrogacy Companies” in your local area. 

In this episode, we share some exciting news about things that are happening to grow the podcast.  Signing with a management group, to our next photoshoot and Madre event.  We also talk about how we’ve learned so much about our own strengths, and weaknesses that when combined create this great dynamic.  And, lastly, we discuss how this podcast is something we feel called to do everyday.  Women empowerment runs through our veins, and we share our goals of what we want this podcast to be for moms and women out there.  We want to share our journey of building this movement with you, through the good times and the bad. And, it would really help us out if you did all the things: like, subscribe, share, and leave a review if you feel called to do so! We are so grateful for all your support, and love having you come on this wild ride with us!

In this episode, we speak with Starlyn Cafferata, a madre of 5, who decided to say EFF IT to all the expectations that she had placed on herself before having kids about what kind of mom she was going to be.  And, she REALLY let those expectations go when they found out that they were pregnant for the second time with quadruplets! That’s right….4 babies at the same time!  She realized that there was no way of holding on to any of that and be a happy mom.  So, once she let all those expectations go, she became a lot more happy, and laid back and could find humor in all the chaos that come with having 5 kids.  You just have to EFFing do what works for you and your family and not listen to all the outside noise. You can’t and will not please everyone.  And, the only people that matter are your loved ones who are the closest to you..  Everyone EFF off! To keep up with Starlyn and her family’s journey, go to Instagram and Tiktok and follow her at @caffsquad.    

In this episode, we speak with Mackenzie Gray, a madre of two, who had her first child in Italy, and then right before the pandemic hit, had moved back to the states.  However, the EFF IT moment was a little different. First, she said EFF IT and had it in her mind that they were going to move back, and everyday was wanting to make it happen.  However, the reality of their situation just wasn’t going to allow that to happen, at least not at the time that she was really itching to go back.  So, she said EFF IT again, but this time, surrendered to what the reality was going to be, which was staying here because of her husband’s stable job.  So, even though her original EFF IT moment of wanting to move back didn’t work out when she wanted it to, that mental shift to surrendering to what they current circumstances were got her to start taking care of herself physically and mentally with joining a gym and finding a community of like-minded moms who are able to support each other.  Whether your EFF IT moment works out or not, it’s about the mindset shift that happens that makes you start doing, thinking and seeing things differently.  You just have to EFFing find your peace in whatever situation you find yourself in because the only thing that you can control is you and how you react to things.  To check out Mackenzie and help her grow her following for her fashion brand that helps inspire moms through fashion, go to Instagram and give @mackenzie_gray.

In this episode, we speak with Whitney Runyon, an adoption madre of 3, who said EFF IT and decided to get on antidepressants after pushing back on the idea for about a year, when her therapist recommended them to her. Her introduction to motherhood was especially hard,  since the kids she and her husband adopted were a little older. So, there was a lot of emotional complexities and traumas (her kids’s and her own) to deal with.  She finally came to the decision that if she didn’t do this, she may not live another day.   A big reason people hold off on doing things that might actually help them is because of  the stigma surrounding whatever it is they are wanting to do or explore. We say EFF that! EFFing do what is best for you and your family. And also, be kind to others and treat them the way we want to be treated because we  just don’t know their journeys, just like they might not know ours. So, we need to try not to judge, and just be kind! To follow Whitney, please give her a follow on Instagram @whitruyon, check out the services she offers at www.whitrunyon.com

In this episode, we speak with Allison Hardman, a single madre of two, who said EFF IT and left a marriage of 14 years behind her because of how toxic it was to her and her kids.  She took a sign from the universe to get out of what she had intuitively felt was not right for her and her kids to stay in any longer.  And, once she got out, she did things that she never would have done had she stayed in something that wasn’t serving her. It’s through these EFF IT moments where we build resilience, and you should be damn proud of taking those steps in finding what works and doesn’t work for you.  Just EFFing trust your gut, do what you love, and choose joy in everything that you do.  To follow Allison’s journey, please follow her on Instagram at @alliinwanderlust.  And, if you’re in Austin, go check out one of her yoga classes at @blackswanyogaaustin.

In this episode, we speak with Food Network star, Penny Davidi, a madre of 2, who said EFF IT and got divorced at a time when divorce was taboo. On top of that, coming from a Persian Jewish upbringing, it was very frowned upon. But, she knew it was not what she wanted anymore, and once she left,  an onslaught of EFF IT moments followed: she bought pizza joints even though she knew nothing about it; manifested herself onto the Food Network; and found the love of her life. It just goes to show that you have to make things EFFing happen for you by putting yourself into different environments and take advantage of the opportunities that are all around you because they always are. You just have to be willing and open to accepting them. To check out all the projects Penny is involved in, go to Instagram and give her a follow at @pennydavidi. Also, check out her book, “It’s my Thyme,” on Amazon.

In this episode, we thought it would be fun to check in with each other since Romi’s birthday was this past week, and Carla’s is in a few weeks, and is also turning 42.  We were both at such different spots since this time last year, so we wanted to see what we’ve learned, want to leave behind, and what we want to see and achieve in 2024. We talk about growth, realize that we can change our identities whenever we want, and that our EFF IT moment really has pushed us forward in so many ways.  As messy as it has been, we are both super grateful that we said EFF IT and started this podcast.  It literally has opened us both up to new perspectives, new opportunities, learning new things, and different ways of being. A big reason why we continue showing up to record more episodes is because we hope to inspire madres out there to say EFF IT so that they can reap the benefits that these big life changes bring. Don’t get us wrong, there will definitely be some shitty ass parts, but what you learn along the way supersedes the bad. So, if you’re at that point and want to say EFF IT, all we can say is just effing doing. It may suck at times, but it will be worth it in the end.

In this episode, we speak with Romi’s Aunt, Mary Nabers,, a madre of two, who decided to say EFF IT, and go back to school in her 40’s. When she was younger, she had dropped out high school, and ever since then carried around this narrative that she wasn’t smart enough for school. But, she always wanted to go back. So, when that opportunity arose, she went back to school and  broke that narrative by really applying herself, and ended up on the Dean’s List and graduating with honors.  It just goes to show that you can rewrite your EFFing story, and know that you aren’t the narratives that you have told yourself for so long.  You have the power to break through them and become a fresh, new version of you.  If you are interested in going back to school, know that you have tons of resources available to you. All you have to do is research your local community colleges in your area, and either call admissions or go in and speak with someone. Remember, where there’s a will, there’s a way!