Fueling Real Change In Your Relationship

144  If you’ve ever been frustrated by slow or no change in your relationship–either on partner's end or your own, and you want to stop falling into those same old painful dynamics with your partner again and again, and instead SEE things actually getting better over time…

… you’ve got to understand how change works.

Because it really is a process, with 4 distinct stages. And before you even get to them, there is a pre-stage, which is where most people (you?) tend to get stuck.

When you understand these 4 stages you will be so much better equipped to make the real change you want actually happen.

In this episode, we dive into them, as well as into a bit of the science of what is really going on to make new ways of being with each other stick.

So many people don't understand how change really works, and therefore don’t persevere with the process… and end up getting nowhere. 

Now, because of this episode, that will not be you anymore!

With personal and client stories, and well as one very important metaphor to help you understand how the brain really changes (and the brain IS your  #1 agent of change), you will leave this episode so much more empowered and so much more hopeful and encouraged that you, too, can make those changes you've been wanting in your marriage.  Dive in!

SHOW NOTES:

Submit your question to be answered on the show by hopping on my email list HERE (you’ll soon get instructions on how to submit.)

Learn about or enroll in Treasured, Hannah's marriage coaching program for highly sensitive women, here. 

ENJOYING THE SHOW? 

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143   If you are like many other women,  deep down you probably LOVE your partner, but it can feel like you DON’T LIKE him very much sometimes, yeah?

I’ve been there, too, and it doesn't feel great… because who wants to not like the person they’re planning to spend their whole life with? By now, it shouldn't come as a surprise that this can be even more common of an experience as an highly sensitive Person unfortunately.

That’s why I want to share with you 6 primary things I've learned from my own experience with re-enlivening my LIKE for my husband.

So listen in to hear my story of going from feeling rather annoyed often with my husband, and wondering if I even liked him and what it means if I didn't, to realizing one day how MUCH I now truly enjoy him! 

Just like I do, you CAN laugh, be playful, flirt with, and simply enjoy your partner again, when you really implement the 6 steps I share in this episode. 

Don’t get stuck in the myth that there’s nothing you can do from your side of the street to change things for the SO much better.  It simply isn't true.

Listen in and follow my lead, and you WILL start feeling closer and happier with your partner–and even start really LIKING him again. 

SHOW NOTES:

Learn about or enroll now in Treasured, Hannah's marriage coaching program for highly sensitive women, here. 

ENJOYING THE SHOW? 

• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

142   Developing Self-Compassion is one of the key ingredients to building a truly thriving marriage as an HSP. It is embedded in everything I teach and will be forever, because it is just so essential. 

So I invited Lori Cangilla, a psychologist and HSP specialist, to have a conversation about it with me, share stories and some laughs, and dive deeper into what self-compassion is all about in this episode. 

Although self-compassion is often misunderstood, it is a source of so much goodness between you and your partner–and even if you haven’t been the most self-compassionate person up until now, you can totally develop it! And it will send powerful healing ripples throughout your whole life and marriage.

So listen in to discover: 

• what self compassion really is (and what it isn’t!) 
• how it relates to compassion and connection
• The common misunderstandings about it that may be preventing you from accessing the deep benefits of it, 
• the 4 main pieces that compose self compassion, 
• why you would bother spending a bit of energy to become a more self-compassionate person as a highly sensitive person
• what the benefits of it are in our intimate relationships
• why being self-compassionate can be challenging at first for HSPs 
• the two types of self-compassion and how they work together to help you lead a life that is empowered, and self-honoring, as well as compassionate to others,  
• and tips to begin developing more self compassion starting today
  
  

No HSP should live life without this vital way of relating to yourself.  As you grow your self-compassion, you will open doors to richer and deeper connection and intimacy with your own self and with your significant other, and reap the rich benefits of it in all areas of your life for all your years to come.

SHOW NOTES:
Find Lori at singularlysensitive.com  and her book, Wander and Delve here.

Learn about or enroll now in Treasured, Hannah's marriage coaching program for highly sensitive women, here. 

141  This episode should be required listening for anyone in an intimate relationship! With many years under my belt as a marriage coach, one of the biggest and most common problem-causer I’ve noticed again and again that causes disrespect, pain, and discord in marriages (and more so in HSP marriages) is the tendency to not know the difference between one’s own side of the court and one’s partner's side of the court–and therefore not tend well to your own, and over-tend to theirs. 

This episode will shed light on why this is so damaging, help you identify if you are doing this–even just a little bit–and help you put an end to it, so you can re-develop or strengthen the mutual respect in your relationship that is so essential for it to thrive.

We dive into the 3 types of “business” there are when it comes to relationships, and clarify what is your domain and what is your spouses–and what is beyond everyone's control.

Then you will get very specific and practical advice on  how you can stop wasting your energy where you have no power or control, and instead put your energy where it is truly effective to drive REAL positive change in yourself and in your marriage…and you and your significant other are freed up to both able to genuinely enjoy each other a whole lot more

For some of you, when you take this episode to heart, it will be the magic bullet that begins a cascade of healing in your marriage–and that perhaps even lets you see once again in your partner that person who you originally fell in love with, but haven’t seen in a while!

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Become A Podcast Supporter and Get the Podcast Map!

Learn about how to get more of Hannah's  Support, Courses ,and Coaching HERE.

140   We all want a life full of what is most important to us, full of “Wealth” of the emotional, relational, and also financial, kind–or what my guest, Mark Yegge, a “wealth architect” and money manager, calls “balanced abundance”.

In other words, we want the wealth of feeling good, feeling secure, feeling healthy, feeling connected, loved, and fulfilled in this life. There is solid research that proves this.

Even Einstein, the most brilliant scientific mind of his time, was super clear about what actually makes humans feel most alive and abundant. (In this episode we share the most beautiful secret letter he wrote to his daughter—it will truly just melt your heart!!)

Unfortunately, because of the culture we live in, it’s easy to end up (almost by accident) over-focusing on things that don't actually lead us to that happiness and fulfillment. That lead, instead, to what I call Emotional Poverty. Mark and I have both seen all too many people lose track of what most matters to them by over-focusing on the pursuit of a successful career and financial abundance (or what we think is just financial security), while under-focusing on the things that actually bring them Emotional wealth and TRUE security.

Since you're here, you have a pretty good sense that relationships are a prime way to the happiness and meaning you want in this life. But you're likely (even to just a small degree) to fall under the influence of cultural programming that, by no fault of our own, distracts you from being able to make your important relationships the truly fulfilling and life-giving ones you know they are meant to be.

Luckily, it’s not so hard to re-align with what matters most to you, which is HOW you will be able to bring more TRUE WEALTH, the kind that matters most to YOU,  into your life, starting today. It can just take a bit of remembering –and intention.

So listen to this fun, laughter-filled, not-to-be-missed  conversation,  where Mark and I dive straight into the heart of all of this. You’ll come away with your heart energized and a surge of motivation to bring what most matters to YOU alive in your life, so you can feel genuinely happier and more fulfilled --and wealthy in all ways--as an HSP.
 
ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
Find Mark at www.lightcircle.org/yourgreatestyear or  https://markyegge.com/
Get your seat at Freedom From Hurt Week with Hannah here.

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

139  It's time for FREEDOM FROM HURT WEEK.  Learn more and join us here.  There are 2 categories of emotional pain in our relationships, and although neither of them is “wrong”, one of them tends to push us apart, making our marriages HARDER  (if we don't know how to work with it)…

…and the other, if we let it, can actually fuel the love and connection we want in our relationships.

You WANT to know the difference between these types of pain, because one of them you want to tune deeper into, the other you want to quickly dissolve…

Listen in to this episode, peppered with plenty of personal stories and examples, to discover:

• the difference between “clean pain” and “dirty pain”, 
• the negative impact on your relationships of falling prey to dirty pain and not tending to your clean pain, 
• why clean pain is so healing and powerful, 
• the different ways you want to address each of them to move out of pain and discord in your relationship and into a deeper place of peace, love, and connection than ever 
• and what gets in the way of easily doing this, so YOU can do it well.

 Pain is inevitable in life, but hurt isn't. When you know how to work with these 2 types of pain, you will free yourself from so much unnecessary pain in love and life,  be so much more empowered to effectively make real changes in your marriage that feel so much better, get the best treatment from your significant other, and make the best impact in this world in general. Listen in.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
Learn all about FREEDOM FROM HURT WEEK, a special event where you get live virtual time with Hannah over the course of a week,  to leave hurt in the dust.

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

138   One of the underlying causes of my first marriage ending was because of what I call Care Distortion. It wrecked me, leading me to feel like my husband didn't care about me enough, and took a huge toll on how good my then hubby and I felt with each other.  

Today, I tell you all about my story with it, and how it is very possibly affecting your relationship too, as it does so many highly sensitive women. If you ever feel like your partner doesn't care enough about you, or you’re not so important to him, or he doesn't value you enough, this episode is especially for you. 

I know how painful it can feel. It not only hurts, but, at least for me and many of the women I work with, it tends to lead to real frustration, anger, and resentment… And all of these feelings can end up making the whole relationship much more difficult and fraught with tension, arguments, and cold wars…

But in most cases, this is totally something YOU can change, just like I did. It has everything to do with Care Distortion. 

Listen in to learn: 

• what Care Distortion is, 
• where it comes from in the first place, 
• why it's more common for HSPs than non-HSPs, 
• why it causes so much pain and discord, 
• and what you can do to put an end to it.
  
  

When care distortion is no longer happening in your marriage, you will feel so much lighter, more peaceful and loved– and you’ll be free to start having a whole lot more laughter, fun, and all the good stuff that you most want in your marriage.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
Learn all about FREEDOM FROM HURT WEEK, a special event where you get live virtual time with Hannah over the course of a week.

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

If you are at all discouraged in your relationship, you must listen to this episode. (I’m calling it a bonus episode simply because I’m giving it to you today as it contains time-sensitive info and I’m going to be on a short podcast break –talk to you again in several weeks!)

If:

• you feel like there’s not much chance for growth in your marriage,
• your spouse is resistant to working on your relationship with you, 
• you feel unmotivated to put much more effort in because it feels a bit hopeless,
• or you just aren't sure it’s worth it to try too much with your spouse with everything you have on your plate and how little difference it seems to make

….I’m here to give you hope that the mutually supportive, deeply connected and loving marriage you want IS POSSIBLE.

Because the reason you are discouraged isn't just because of your significant other or the dynamics between you.

It’s because of something much more sneaky and less obvious: some very toxic cultural messaging that TRULY undermines the relationships we want in our hearts.

In this episode, I will expose 3 of these toxic myths most likely playin gout in you and your relationship,  and help you do away with them so you feel empowered and hopeful again, and so you are best set up to finally get some real traction on making your marriage the lighthearted, deeply loving, and team-feel one you want.

Get ready to finally see the changes you want when you no longer buy into these 3 toxic myths and instead understand the 3 truths about making true lasting change in your marriage. 

And if you have a partner who’s not doing much to make your marriage better, make sure to listen all the way through this one, as the golden key to change that comes toward the end. 

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
Click to learn about and enroll in TREASURED. Sign up by November 4th to get the Bonus course free: the Foundations of Emotional Well-Being for HSPs. Ready to join? Click here to get started. 

136   Today I bring you some scientific researched- backed HOPE for you and your marriage. If you are an HSP, this is essential knowledge about yourself and what’s possible for you. 

Did you know that being an HSP makes it more likely for you to arrive at the happiness you want in your marriage, when you put certain conditions in place? 

Because you have a special advantage as an HSP in this area. It’s true! In this episode, I will tell you all about it and some of the science that proves it.

There is something special about us HSPs: our sensitivity, which can make it either easier (it can BOOST you) or harder to be WELL (it can PLUMMET you) in this life, depending on some things. 

Learn what those things are–and how to BEST take advantage of this special aspect of your sensitivity in this episode.  

When you know this, you will be best positioned ( and I mean better positioned than most ALL other humans) to make your marriage  come alive with the mutual love, support and connection you want, and to feel deeply WELL as a human being.  Listen in.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
Click to learn about and enroll in TREASURED.
Sign up by November 4th to get a full Bonus course: the Foundations of Emotional Well-Being for HSPs. Ready to join? Click here to get started. 

135  Last chance to sign up for the free workshop below!  Even if you aren’t feeling happy now in your relationship, and all the joy and love of those early days of the relationship feels faded, there is hope for your marriage yet! In fact, you can have something even better:

An even more genuine, more sustainable, deeper love and connection than ever with your spouse, where you know how to work with each other as a team to navigate the ups and downs of life, while feeling the ease, love and joy you have together continue to increase over time. This is what I call Re-enchantment.

In this updated and re-released episode, I spill the beans on how to take your marriage there. Listen in to learn:

• What it will be like when you get there, 
• What it takes: the 3 simple things you must get good at to guide your own marriage there
• What someone who is on the way there–or who is already there– is DOING on the regular (this is also a list of what’s required!)
• A specific real life example to illustrate these things from a client 
• The next steps to learning these things
• And why you, as an HSP, are best suited to shift your marriage into Re-enchantment.  
  
  

It’s so important to have an idea of what it looks like in real life to make your marriage into the loving, lighthearted, connected one you want. This episode provides that, and gives you the next tangible steps to take to make this come alive in your own relationship as a highly sensitive woman.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:

Click to sign up for Sunday’s Free Workshop: 3 Invisible Steps To Deeper Love Than Ever Between You And Your Significant Other 

Click to learn about and enroll in Treasured.