Game On – 34

The Martini Shot
It's the last episode of I Shouldn't Have Had Kids and we're taking a minute to look back at how things started and how they're going now—with parenting, pandemicing, and podcasting!

• How it started and how it's going with kids: From baby blowouts to graduating seniors who remind us how incredible the journey of parenting really is.
• How it started and how it's going with the pandemic: From total lockdown to kids at home 24/7 trying to make remote learning palatable in any way shape or form. 
• How it started and how it's going with podcasting: From pillow talk with each other to our weekly rendezvous with each of you.

It's somehow fitting that we are toasting our last episode AND our one-year podcasting anniversary on the same night! We do it with oodles of affection and gratitude for all of you. You made this happen and are the real fiber of I Shouldn't Have Had Kids. Thank you.

We may be closing the first chapter in the podcast story we're writing, but know this. After a short hiatus—and once the kids are back to in-person school—we'll begin working on Chapter 2 of the Bombcast Studio story. So, don't go too far because we'll be back soon enough, and we want you by our side when it happens. We think you're going to like what we have planned.

Now, about that martini...

Cheers and all the love!
Bonnie and Ellen
Tigger, Lola and Shy Guy

If you miss us, email! We'd love to hear from you.  :)
ishouldnthavehadkids@gmail.com

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Trying to make magic and create memorable holiday traditions—especially for a newly blended family—is a pretty tall order. It takes intention, patience, and a willingness by everyone to embrace the idea that families come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes, it also takes a lot of wine.

This week we'll take you behind the scenes of our first Thanksgiving celebration as a new blended family — complete with exes, in-laws, and a raw turkey. The fun just keeps coming through the holidays and the years, however, with memories that are woven into the fabric of our blended family's story. Exploding pipes, speeding tickets, and a last-minute wedding ceremony on the steps of the county courthouse punctuate our holidays throughout the years. So get comfortable, press "play," and let us tell you the stories of who we are.

PS
In the links below, you'll find a website with the best sweet potato dish you'll ever taste. It's a 1971 Sunset Magazine recipe that has been a part of our Thanksgiving table for years. Go ahead. Try it. Guaranteed to blow your mind.

Links
Shutterbean Blog: Pecan-Topped Sweet Potato Recipe
YouTube: Baby, It's Cold Outside
YouTube: Miracle on 34th Street—Santa in the Parade!
Wikipedia: What's a Martini Shot?

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This week's episode is inspired by a POTUS unwilling or unable to accept the facts. Indeed, you can probably currently find him prone on the floor of the Oval Office, pounding his feet and fists, screaming, "I won't go! I won't! I won't go, and you can't make me!!"

If you've ever parented a 2- or 3-year-old, you know exactly what's happening. It's a temper tantrum, and they are the bane of every parent's experience. Full-body sweats, tears, pleading, and begging are the hallmark signs of a temper tantrum—and that's just the parental response!

The pre-schooler, however, is awash in unrequited desires: staying up longer, buying a toy at the store or being picked up and carried 24/7. Then there are the crazier things that make kids crack: imagined slights, wanting the impossible, or preventing a sibling from existing in the world as we know it.

This week we jump into the temper tantrum mire and find out how to stop the little demons from hurting themselves or our sanity. As far as Donald J. Trump is concerned, however, we're out of ideas. Maybe a nice, long time out is in order.

Links
The President Show on YouTube: Donny Goes to School (temper tantrum at 4:04!)
Parenting Power Up on YouTube: What To Do When Your Child Throws a Temper Tantrum

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Millennials are so... special. Believe us. We have one. In the Millennial generation, everybody gets a ribbon and everything gets a sticker. They even have a word for growing up. It's called "adulting." In fact, there's a book and about a million articles all about the subject.  

There's really nothing new about growing up or adulting, but there is certainly enough to talk about! Especially since we have one "adult-ish" son, another who is in full-fledge adulting mode, and a third boy on the precipice of the whole thing. 

What does adulting entail, you ask? Well, if you want to know whether or not your teen is adulting, here are a few questions to ask:

• Do you regularly have the oil in your car changed?
• Can you neatly wrap a gift?
• Do you know how to write a cover letter?
• Do you know how to sew a button back on?
• Do you make your own doctor's appointments?

That's just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. It is possible that you read that list of questions and admitted to yourself that perhaps — at 35, 45 or 55 —  you're not adulting so well yourself. Uh-huh. That's right. It's not EASY growing up, so cut your burgeoning adult some slack.

If you want to take some of the pain out of nudging your teen toward independence, and realize you're not alone in the struggle, this week's episode of I Shouldn't Have Had Kids should help. Well, at least it will make you laugh. That's because our boys have faced or are facing all of the adulting challenges and they've made plenty of mistakes along the way. And believe us, so have we. The silver lining is that it makes for some damn funny stories, and we're bringing them to you on the show this week.

So pour yourself a glass of wine, put in your earbuds, and take a break with us as we podcast for parental sanity—ours and yours.

Links
YouTube: Trailer of the 2019 movie, Judy
Q13 News Website: Story and Video  About the Capture of Asian Murder Hornets
UK's Metro News Website: 10 Tips You Need to Learn About Being A Grown-Up from the Adulting Manual

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Imaginary friends and freaky role in the family

Uh, honey? Who are you talking to? Cue Twilight Zone music as your son or daughter turns around slowly, looks at you, cocks their head and asks, "Can't you see him, mommy?"

What does it mean when a child has an imaginary friend? One with whom they spend the bulk of their time. One that plays the role of confident, family member, and trouble maker all at once. "But Mommy, Wiggy doesn't WANT to nap, so I have to stay awake with him.."

Is it a sign of brilliance? Mental instability? Creative genius? Is it freaking you out just a wee bit?

Truth is, you don't have anything to worry about. In fact, some studies have found that nearly 65% of kids have an imaginary friend at one time or another. It looks like the experience is nearly as common as finding a Trump supporter in the state of Idaho. Poor Idaho. Good potatoes, though.

Anyway, back to the invisible. We look at imaginary friends through the filter of Tigger's experience with his own BFF, Wiggy. And until this show, neither of us ever asked Tigger about that invisible friend. His answers blew our collective minds!

Join us for the story, and as an added bonus, Bonnie is bringing a handful of stories about supernatural invisible friends kids have claimed they saw. By the time we're done with you, the hair on the back of your neck will be standing straight up—and that somehow seems totally appropriate for election week 2020!

Show Links
YouTube video: Can I pet that dog?
The Washington Post opinion piere: Kavanaugh has wild ideas about voting
Bored Panda Website: 50 of the Creepiest Things Kids Have Ever Said to Their Parents

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A woman runs down a dark street screaming in terror.  She races up the steps to her best friend's house and pounds on the door. As the door creaks opens, the woman pulls out her (hot glue) gun and trains it on her friend.

"Hot toddy. Stat!" she pants. "Oh, and I need to borrow some orange felt. I just ran out."

The joy that many parents get in the planning, buying, cutting, and placating that goes into one night of tricks and treats has always been a head–scratcher to us. Halloween gives our kids two hours of joy, sure, but by the time it's all said and done, we're exhausted and they have cavities. Don't get us wrong. We know that some people literally L-I-V-E for Halloween. We just would not be those people.

We played along for years, however, all in the name of good parenting. And we've got the stories to prove it. We cover it all on this week's Halloween edition of I Shouldn't Have Had Kids, along with a little Halloween trivia and a whole host of characters. They include:

• Steve Jobs
• King Boo 
• Giant Dinos 
• Holly Hobbie
• The Blues Brothers
• And, a Freudian slip

So, grab a handful of your favorite Halloween candy and let us get you in the mood for Halloween 2020. Let's face it; between the pandemic, the Republicans, and the addition of Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court, 2020 is about to go down as the most terrifying Halloween on record. No costume needed.

Show Links
YouTube Video: Movie Clip from Nightmare Before Christmas
YouTube Video: Dave Niehaus, Voice of the Mariners—Get Out the Rye Bread Grandma!

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On episode 47: Chores and allowance are on our minds

Is it a bad idea to pay kids to help around the house?

A house they live, eat and sleep in?

A house where their parents work, on their behalf, from sun up to sun down?

This week, we unpack the ins and outs of rewarding kids for what is the simple act of "pitching in." In this episode, more than most,  we invite you to learn from our (massive) mistakes! Total case of "Do what we say, not what we do"!

Now, if a son or daughter offers to repave the driveway or till the garden beds, then we can talk cash. Just sayin'...

Links
Mike Horn's Instagram Account: Two Explorers on an Iceberg We'll Call "2020"
Company Website: Greenlight Card—The Debit Card for Kids, Managed by Parents

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On episode 46: Grandparents steal the show!

Oh, baking pies with grandma or building birdhouses with grandpa might sound like a quintessentially grandparental moment, but let's not forget the somewhat more interesting tidbits about the role of these important family members. For instance:

• Grandma glued to her police scanner to stay in-the-know about all of those "no-goods" out there. Her investigative bent taught the grandkids good research skills.
• Grandpa taking off his hollow, wooden leg to show off the treasures he'd tucked inside. Hey, it beat the mattress—and inspired in his grandkids a healthy distrust of banks!
• Grandma staying with her 2-year-old grandson for a week and introducing him to all the different kinds of candy in the bulk section of the grocery store. From her, he learned to question authority. His parents'.

Grandparents are precious. Sure, they're a little crazy-making sometimes, but aren't we all? Whenever you're tempted to lose your patience with granddaddy and maw-maw, grandmom and granddad, nana and gramps, or whatever your kids call your parents, just remember this: They are parents, too. Our guess is that there were probably plenty of times when they slapped a palm to their forehead and muttered to themselves, "I Shouldn't Have Had Kids." So, cut them some slack. 

Better yet, pick up the phone and give them a call. Tell them Bonnie and Ellen sent you.

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This week we tackle the thing on everyone's mind: How can we protect the mental health of our children during the dark months of winter? Yes it's going to be H-A-R-D. But you are absolutely capable of weathering the storm that's brewing.

We've collected sage advice from experts—because god knows that's not us—and are bringing that advice to you this week, couched in our own irreverent look at life with kids. One thing is crystal clear. Flight attendants know what they're talking about. When it feels like the plane is about to fall out of the sky, the first thing we parents have to do is put on our own oxygen masks. Only then can we help our kids cope with the pandemic winter that's ahead.

*Recorded four days before Donald Trump was diagnosed with COVID-19

Links
The Oatmeal: Giant Asian Hornets and a Nice, Tall Glass of "Nope"
Time Magazine: The Coronavirus Seems to Spare Most Kids From Illness, but Its Effect on Their Mental Health Is Deepening
NPR Story: How We Can Mentally Prepare for a Pandemic Winter
Child Mind Institute: How Mindfulness Can Help During COVID-19

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Exercise. They need it. We know it. But how to make it happen?

Why does Minecraft win out over biking, Super Smash Bros beat a neighborhood run, or the promise of Among Us lure our kids back early from a summer swim? We know exercise is good for them, but what's the magical spoon full of sugar that will make the medicine go down? 

Little kids exercise without thinking – chasing each other, splashing in the shallows all day, or sledding until they can't lift their legs to climb the hill again. Somewhere near middle school, however, it all changes. That's where we come in. Parents, start your engines, because in the words of Madagascar's King Julien, it's time to move it, move it!

Dance party, everybody!!

Links
From Show Biz Cheat Sheet: Dan Levy's next big thing!
YouTube delivers: Regina King's Emmy acceptance and shout out to Notorious RBD

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