Going to Battle and Becoming Deerheart

This has been... Obstacle Course! Thank you for listening, friends.

Andrew's song lyrics: "Every new beginning is some other new beginning's, end."

This final episode isn't a memorial, it's a celebration. 

If you've listened to every episode, you've spent over 7500 hrs with us. 

Check ya later folks.

Union Pacific Coffee Shop has great atmosphere and delicious coffee/home-made food.

"Ironically Wim doesn't respond well to cold calls." Gold. 

"This podcast has never been one to make us money but we don't want it to cost us a lot either." haha. 

The episode where John learned to be present.

Hosting Stories of Resilience.

Jesse Roper's incredible episode.

"Screw it up, just go for it, hang it out there. People will love you more for hanging it out there then trying to be something you're not." - Jesse Roper

When you're ok with who you are, you'll stop making everything about you.

Our guests were people willing to take action!!

It's not about being fearless but fearing less.

Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

The power of vulnerability is it draws people near.

Shoutout to our Decaf Bengal Spice tea that prevented our mouths from drying up while recording.

"We know this has been a success if it inspires people to make a small act of courage."

Numbers are only one story of the experience.

John learned to how to make space for other people.

Andrew learned he is best when he asks the questions. 

"Never let our ambitions confuse us from who we really are." Jim Collins.

"Why not just be yourself?"

"You will never say something worth remembering if you can't say it from the depths of who you truly are." 

The three principles that guided all of our guest choices and conversations.

1. Authenticity
2. Vulnerability
3. Good Story Telling Ability

Brene Browne! 

It's impossible to tell a great story story without being authentic and vulnerable.

"So clearly, this is well rehearsed." It always was...n't .... 

Obstacles are opportunities we can learn and grow from.

Obstacle Course is a mindset, a decision and a life long habit. That's why it never ends.

Often, obstacles start as a feeling. 

"I will always look back and remember that we hosted a show that encouraged people to not be overtaken by the tough things in life but to allow the tough things to toughen them up so they could move forward and do what's truly meaningful and great in the world." 

Thank you Judy!!! Your peanut butter cookies will never be be bested.

Thank you Andy Robertson for getting us going. 

Thank you Angie and Sarah for your unending support, belief and for speaking truth.

Thank you guests for sharing your souls. You will forever be in our hearts.

Last but not least, thank you for listening. We love you. Check ya later :) 

You are not alone! 

We love you and keep pushing through those obstacles. Thanks folks.

For our final Obstacle Course interview, we're excited/sad to share the second part of our conversation with Josh Dueck. In this episode, Josh shares his current obstacles and dreams for the future. 

For our final guest episode we let the music play us off… 

There is a Part One  to this conversation which you should listen before this. Because it's Part One. And that's what you do. 

Everything comes to an end. Like this Podcast. And Andrew and I. What can never end is our shared journey on the Obstacle Course as every day brings new challenges and opportunities for growth. 

Our final episode will air February 24, 3 years after we began. 

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The death of our identity can often feel fatal. What we learn is this rock bottom can be a solid place to rise up and begin again.

Discipline creates freedom!

A space to just be. Meditation in Motion. 

Josh's family motto: Listen, Be kind and Have fun! (Feel free to steal this)

Terry Fox, the greatest Canadian! This is a great book as is the series (little John grew up on this series as a kid). 

Grief, like exercise, is something we do every day. We never finish or arrive. We begin anew every day. It's a process.

New T-shirt Idea? “I'm 40 and I can feel. And that's fucking awesome.”

"Retiring from sport was harder than breaking my back."

“It's not going to be easy. But! It'll be ok.”

To connect with and keep track of what Josh is doing, follow him on social media. 

Discipline is Freedom. 

“One of our favourite expressions is the obstacle course never ends - because we don't get through all our obstacles until it's all over and then maybe by then we're the better for all the obstacles that we did end up participating in. It's what brought meaning to our lives.” Andrew

“The challenges and traumas in our life remove the grit so we can see life more clearly.” Josh

“Sport can create hope where once there was only despair.” Nelson Mandela

 Josh Dueck is the quintessential obstacle course guest including a stunning story, professionally told and is now changing the world through his work. This is Part One of our conversation. 

Here's the word John nearly hurt himself trying to pronounce. 

Despite John's weird analogy, this episode really does have everything and is the essence of Obstacle Course. 

Andrew practiced for weeks to say  Chef De Mission.

For the record, Josh is a 3 time paralympic medalist, including gold! He's also won an X games gold medal and the world championships.

John's finger has healed nicely. His ego continues to be a work in process.

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Josh is the first person in history to perform a backflip on a sit ski!!!  Here's the iconic jump!

"We're going to go make an effort today." It turns out that's all any of us can ever do. Wake up. Do the work. Rinse and Repeat. 

When we're in the middle of doing our best work and aren't distracted by ego or fear, serenity will guide the way. 

The Freedom Chair is a beautifully filmed award winning documentary about Josh's iconic jump. It can be watched on Apple TV for the low low price of $3. 

Josh's TED talk is raw, honest and incredibly inspiring. A must watch! 

Josh was only 23 at the time of his accident. In the moment before the jump, he remembers disregarding the warnings to impress a bunch of young kids.

"What is my why in this moment?" Fear may sometimes be a red flag from the body. It's important to use wisdom and meditation to decipher normal fear from a legitimate warning from our higher self. 

We love you Ellen!! Just keep filming. Just keep filming. 

Here's Josh's excellent appearance on Ellen.

Josh's Three Life Mantras

1. Everything happens for a reason

2. Nothing happens we're not strong enough to deal with

3. Everything in my life has prepared me for this moment

The ambulance ride/rock bottom can feel like an eternity. But like every moment, this too shall pass.

"Things don't happen to us, they happen for us." Tony Robbins

The life affirming words from the Josh's Doctor, "Gab," were transformative and they are still close friends and neighbours to this day. At rock bottom, hope remains and becomes the light that sees us through.

Join us for Part Two of this epic conversation.

We are joined today by Jeff Sorensen, founder of the Breath Army.

We changed the intro. Deal with it. Also, Happy 2021!! :) 

If you are interested in learning more about The 75HARD Challenge, listen to this informative and inspirational episode by the creator.

Andrew and Sarah's Hard mantra: 

 "We can do hard things. We choose to do hard things. We become better by doing hard things. We see out hard things to do."

Everybody breathes. Not everybody connects with their breath. Breathwork 

Breathing is a behaviour. 

We need to up our breath game. 

As humans, we have a tendency to seek out what we know. This can get us into trouble. 

At rock bottom, Jeff choice life over death. He mentioned a "sense of something that was left undone." 

Yes, you heard correctly. Jeff worked for the Sinaloa Mexican Cartel!

From the Cartel, Jeff went to Wim Hof. Here's Tim's great conversation with The Iceman!

Go here to join Jeff's Breath Army or be notified when his book is released.

Welcome to the Podcast! Today we speak with the remarkable Kara Robinson Chamberlain. When Kara was only 15 years old, she was kidnapped in broad daylight by a serial killer who stuffed her into a rubber maid container and took her back to his apartment where she was sexually assaulted over an 18 hour period. We talk to Kara about where she found the courage and resourcefulness to not only escape her restraints but help the police track down her captor. We also talk about the importance of sharing your story and how social media platforms like Tik Tok can actually make you happy. This! Is Obstacle Course.

Choose Your Reaction Wisely

Tik Tok Can Make You Happy

How Strong We Truly Are.

Have we mentioned that Andrew is an English major? 

Kara's Tik Tok. She can make you happy!

Here's the excellent episode from the wildly popular My Favourite Murder Podcast. It starts at the 32 min mark. 

For more information on Kara's story and to connect with Kara, definitely go to her website.

Check out The Social Dilemma on Netflix. Incredible documentary about the power and toxicity of social media.

We also spoke about disassociation as a form of protection in our fantastic episode 42 with Suzanne Venuta.

The Body Keeps The Score is THE landmark mark on how the body reacts to traumatic stress. It's a must read.

How did Kara escape?

1. Strong Will to Survive. "I will escape."
2. Plan of Action
3. Projected Positivty 
4. Looked for her opportunity - Resourefulness
5. Stubbornness. "I refuse to be a victim."

"When suffering post traumatic stress and anxiety, remember, you've already done the hard part. You've survived. So you can do this because it's not as hard. You get to choose your reaction." 

Kara relies on her daily gratitude journal.

You can't outthink trauma response. 

The Headspace App is a fantastic and convenient way to practice daily meditation. It also has dozens of helpful one minute videos that bring calm and perspective. John is on Day 85! And if he can do it, anybody can. :)  

For more information on repressed trauma, check out the landmark and mind blowing book, "It Didn't Start With You."

"It's always been cathartic for me to just talk about what happened." 

Kara's media appearances including her excellent interview with Elizabeth Smart.

Kara points to exercise as key in her healing and recovery. Disassociation is NOT being in your body and exercise brings you back. 

You are literally stronger than you think. You already have the ability to get through whatever is coming.

Andrew has been a beast the past few months and is in the final days of the incredible online challenge 75 Hard. 

"Your body is listening and is already preparing for whatever your mindset is. Both positive and negative."

"I'm very mindful of treating my kids like the adults I want them to be."

If your kids never see you struggle they might wonder, what's wrong with me?? Why do I struggle??

For episode 80, we're excited to welcome Chris Wilkinson into the studio. 

Chris Wilkinson is the owner/GM for Nurse Next Door Home Care Services for Cowichan and central Vancouver Island. For more info visit www.NurseNextDoor.com or for questions or a free in-home Caring Consult call 250-748-4357, or email Chris.Wilkinson@NurseNextDoor.com

Chris is also a columnist for the Cowichan Citizen and the article he wrote about the death of his father, inspired this episode. 

On Today's episode...

- Fathers and Sons

- Stiff Upper Lips 

- Know Better, Do Better

We talked about our death denying culture way back in episode 19!

If you can't sleep, listen to our fantastic episode on it.

Heather's episode is a master class in vulnerability and one of the best conversations we've ever had. It's a must listen for anyone who has loved and lost.

The Pixar movie Coco explores the connection between loss, grief and death.

"I got this," may be a signal that you are repressing your thoughts and feelings.

Repression is at the heart of toxic masculinity.

Anger is almost an emotion that boys are encouraged to have.

Emotional diversity: It’s important to experience a range of emotions, not just pure happiness but pride, excitement, calm and negative ones as well.

Boys grow up in a world inhabited by a narrower range of emotions, one in which their experiences of anger are noticed, inferred, and potentially even cultivated. This leaves other emotions—particularly the more vulnerable emotions—sorely ignored or missing in their growing minds.

Harvard Medical School shows that boys are in fact more emotionally expressive than girls, but our culture actively negates the expression, or focuses on emotions like anger and aggression

The byproduct of this repression: Psychologists have found that children who deny emotional vulnerability are also more likely to become adolescents who engage in health-risk behaviors, such as substance use. Later in development, men suppress (i.e., do not openly express) their emotions more than women; and men in turn experience greater depressive symptoms and resort more often to physical violence.

Men may be at greater risk for stress-related cardiovascular problems in the long run.

5 Common Ways to regulate emotions

1. Avoid situations that may trigger certain emotions

2. Modify situation to enhance your chance of experiencing positive emotions

3. Focus attention elsewhere, rather than letting emotions control

4. Try to see situation from different perspectives

5. Suppress emotion (this is generally the worst option)

From NY Times Article “Teaching Men to be Emotionally Honest”:

“Last semester, a student in the masculinity course I teach showed a video clip she had found online of a toddler getting what appeared to be his first vaccinations. Off camera, we hear his father’s voice. “I’ll hold your hand, O.K.?” Then, as his son becomes increasingly agitated: “Don’t cry!... Aw, big boy! High five, high five! Say you’re a man: ‘I’m a man!’” The video ends with the whimpering toddler screwing up his face in anger and pounding his chest. “I’m a man!” he barks through tears and gritted teeth. rather than negative

● Studies have shown that suppressing emotions increases blood pressure and impairs memory

● Study showed that 25% of Brits believe that expressing emotion is a sign of weakness

Male to female suicide rate: 3 x 1 in Canada, 4 x1 in US, 5 x 1 in Russia, Mexico and Brazil

Is our toxic masculinity the path of least resistance? Bad habits?

The phrase, "don't be a pussy," is deeply offensive to all people. It means, "don't show emotion," - which is a sign of weakness, not strength. 

Ice Guardians!

Vulnerability is not about blunt and random honesty but rather sharing our true emotions.

Don't use Facebook as therapy. 

Our sons watch us more than they listen. May they see something worth imitating. 

Today, we continue our trend of discussing politics! We'd like to officially welcome Dr. Valerie D'Erman,  Instructor of Political Science at the University of Victoria, on the Podcast. 

Mcgill University!

Why do we do the thing we say we'll never do? Pattern recognition? Habits?

Introverts rejoice! You don't have to call restaurants anymore. :)

Speaking of introverts, this important book is currently helping John understand everyone around him :) 

Not to disagree with Valerie, but I assure you, she meant to say, Britain is officially and legally out of the EU! :) 

Thanks for listening Giuseppe! :) 

For more information on Brexit and all things news, BBC is generally a great source of reliable information!

"Obstinate Euro Scepticism." This doesn't sound good...

Populism is a common and potentially dangerous reality that pervades all sides of modern politics. 

Has Trump thought it through?

Neutral Analytics is a practice we all need to learn. What a less angry and better connected world we could be. Well done Valerie!

GWYNNE DYER has worked as a freelance journalist, columnist, broadcaster and lecturer on international affairs for more than 20 years, but he was originally trained as an historian.

Trump is not the cause but the result of a deep seeded problem that already existed and exists in modern politics. 

Freud: “Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.”

Fact Check: The United States is NOT the worst country for income disparity. But, it's still not great.

For the record, we hope Alberta doesn't separate from Canada. Besides their important industries and great people, who would Andrew and I cheer for? 

UBI (Universal Basic Income) might sound like a disease but it has its proponents and it's definitely not a black or white issue. Here's some articles for further reading. 

CERB has been a life saver and business saver for many but people are people and there are those who have taken advantage of the benefit. 

Mandatory Public Service (Conscription) is a controversial approach but could be helpful for engaging and equipping people for life skills. 

"Democracy is not a birthright. It's fragile." 

We all need to learn how to discuss controversial topics with kindness, humility and grace. We need to acknowledge our ignorance with a sense of humor and listen to other people's points of view. We're thankful to Valerie for showing us how.

We're thrilled to welcome Sonia Furstenau back to the Podcast. If you missed Part 1 of our conversation, we have remastered it and you can listen to it here! 

Let's vote! 

Maeve's not a day over.... for......t...something... You can catch our amazing episode with Maeve here! It's our first ever Obstacle Course interview! 

We were FIRST!!! Suck it CNN. 

When in doubt, blame Maeve. #liferules

"I'm so inspired by the platform that we have. I look at it and I feel hopeful about the future. It's platform of solutions oriented on what matters most -taking care of people."

"It goes to something that is very core and has always been part of me, which is this idea that we can be better, we can do better, we can treat each other better and we can be kinder, more compassionate and empathetic."

"I really do think we need to do politics differently. We don't have to be terrible to the people we are debating with."

You can catch our conversation with Olympian, Jason Dorland, right here! 

The root of the word competition means, "to strive together."

"It's so much better when we're actually listening to each other. We should be striving together."

"Things don't happen to us. They happen for us." Tony Robbins

We aren't able to be fearful and empathetic at the same time. In fact, we aren't able to be fearful and anything at the same time. 

Fear is the mind killer! 

Collaboration starts in your neighbourhood. 

I make the choice. Every day. Every moment. 

Chocolate Pearl sells premium, delicious, hand-made  chocolates in Downtown Duncan! 

Sharp, frank, and fearless, that’s Buddhist sex therapist, psychologist, author, and speaker Dr. Cheryl Fraser. With a rare combination of academic credibility, humor, straight-talk, and life-changing advice, she has helped thousands of couples jumpstart their love life and create passion that lasts a lifetime. She has taught for Tony Robbins and Jack Canfield, appears on countless podcasts, and writes about love and sex for magazines. 

And chocolate nipples! 

John's at 45 days in a row now on  Headspace.

Great sex begins in your head!

Buddha in the Bedroom is a fantastic book! The link between mindfulness and being a good lover is real. 

You. Are. Normal. 

Long term couples include anyone in a relationship for 12-18 months or longer. 

The bio-chemistry of falling in love is the same as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Come As You Are. Another excellent book to check out.

You are not broken. You are in process. 

"Reaearch indicates the greatest predictor of mental well being, longevity and life satisfaction is having a quality romantic relationship." Dr Fraser.

Marriage Inc. Are you comfortably miserable?

Libido means life force.

The average male orgasm lasts 7 seconds and the average female orgasm lasts 21 seconds. Get out the stopwatches people. Actually don't. 

"Siri, please give me the route to her orgasm." haha. 

Shame is a massive obstacle to healthy sexuality. 

"Nipple Nipple Crotch Goodnight," can be indicative of a sexual slump or being a lazy lover.

When's the last time you licked the back of your partner's knees?

Sex isn't necessarily the place where you should be efficient. 

It's time we ACTUALLY got naked. 

No wet exits. Nice one Andrew. 

Maybe don't eat fish chilli.

The Passion Triangle. Take the quiz here!

LOVE SKILL: Rate Your Passion Triangle: The 3 Keys to Passion.

Do you want to know where your relationship is currently strong, and where is it weak?

Rate yourself on Thrill, Intimacy, and Sensuality by taking the free Passion Quiz. You will receive scores and feedback to help you re-ignite great love, romance, and passion.

Click here to take the quiz

Andrew prefers nipples to chocolate. You heard it here first. 

The brain assumes the chocolate is already in your mouth.

Chocolate Covered Nipples. Who doesn't like the sound of this??

Don't wait for a wakeup call to decide to make thrill a priority again. 

Sign up for Dr. Cheryl's Masterclass right here!

Sign up for Dr. Cheryl's Passion program here! 

We're super excited to welcome local rock star, Jesse Roper, to the podcast. What a great guy. And super talented! You can check out everything Jesse, here! Jesse's also very active on Instagram and Facebook!

23 years baby! Love you Ang. 

I feel like my and Andrew's live music stories could have been reversed. No wonder we get along. :) 

The Golden Hinde is the tallest mountain on Vancouver Island. Jesse's a beast. If you're not ready for this 3-5 day hike, start with Mount Benson or Mount Arrowsmith.

To our Saskatchewan listeners.... we feel for you... kisses.

Resilience is often an artist's most important tool.

The notion of an artist being in the "transportation," business, is a topic we also discussed in our fantastic conversation with Coco Jones.

Here's the American Idol story!!

Jesse's song, "Anytime of Night is his most personal. Here's his hair (and mind) blowing video.

"People will love you more for hanging it all out there than trying to be something you're not." Jesse 

"If you can capture the best parts of yourself and give them to people over and over again, you're probably a pretty good musician." 

Here's the music video for Jesse's latest song, Right Now.

The 27 Club. 

Living a comfortably miserable life is all too common. We all have the ability to live better. 

Here's the music video for Jesse's song, Cherry.

Anton Wilson is an up and comer in Victoria's music scene (and more importantly, he treats my daughter great!!) You can connect with him here. Anton is currently working on a new project to be release 2021.