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    HAPPINESS with Stephanie Harrison: Feeling our feelings, the achievement paradox, and the new happy

    enJanuary 25, 2023

    About this Episode

    Julie and Casey sit down with happiness expert Stephanie Harrison to talk the science, the soft, and the squishy of how we think about happiness . . . including where we get it wrong, and what to do about that.

     

    Thank you to our Season 4 sponsor, Armoire! If you're ready to try a new look, Armoire's high-end clothing rental service (full of amazing women-owned brands) will hook you up! For 50% off your first month's rental + a free item, go to http://armoire.style/voiceis and use VOICEIS in the referral box!

     

    TOP TAKEAWAYS

    • We’ve been sold a bill of goods that if you're good enough and successful enough, you’ll be happy; however, trying to achieve ourselves out of being human actually hinders our happiness.
    • Discomfort and challenges are NOT proof that you’re not worthy of happiness — they are part of the human experience. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS.
    • The old model of "achievement leads to happiness" actually leads to burnout. Burnout is not your fault. It is a collective problem that ultimately needs a collective solution
     
    www.thenewhappy.com
    www.instagram.com/newhappyco 
     
    An expert in well-being, Stephanie Harrison founded The New Happy based on her Masters thesis in Applied Positive Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania.

    She has spent the last ten years studying happiness from an interdisciplinary perspective, incorporating perspectives from art, science, philosophy, religious/contemplative studies, and the humanities.

    Her book, THE NEW HAPPY, is forthcoming from Penguin Random House.

    Stephanie’s expertise has been featured in Architectural Digest, Brit+Co, Bustle, Design Milk, FastCompany, Forbes, Greatist, The Huffington Post, Paper, Shondaland, Tatler, Well+Good, and Verywell.

    A regular keynote speaker, her past engagements have included Microsoft, LinkedIn, Degreed, Zendesk, Capital One, Juniper, Eventbrite, Create & Cultivate, and ServiceNow.

    Prior to starting The New Happy, Stephanie led the well-being program and learning platform for Thrive Global, built a product marketing team that led launches for LinkedIn’s $4B human resources business, and consulted to Fortune 100 companies on their people and HR challenges at Deloitte. She also returned to teach as an instructor at Penn following her graduation.

     

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    • Hear how Dahlia navigates the responsibility of journalists to thread the needle between not normalizing the unthinkable and not dialing everything up to 12 so nothing gets heard.
    • There is enormous frustration and possible marginalization for anyone in the law outside of the “white male norm” . . . AND Dahlia sees that ability to constantly codeswitch as a gift. “It’s actually the power to be in two places at once.”
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    Dahlia Lithwick is a senior editor at Slate, and in that capacity, has been writing their "Supreme Court Dispatches" and "Jurisprudence" columns since 1999Her work has appeared in the New York TimesHarper’sThe New Yorker, The Washington PostThe New Republic, and Commentary, among other places. She is host of Amicus, Slate’s award-winning biweekly podcast about the law and the Supreme Court. Her 2022 book, Lady Justice, was a New York Times bestseller. In 2018, Lithwick the Hillman Prize for Opinion and Analysis. She was inducted into the American Academy of Arts and Sciences in October, 2018. 

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    • This year, Jenn’s artist coop has been exploring the theme of “contact surface” . . . what happens when things touch. Especially in an AI-consumed world, color us OBSESSED with this concept!
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    • In a tough, tough world, prioritizing fantasy, imagination, art, pleasure, charm, and delight is just plain revolutionary.
    • LESSON: Better options than “fake it ’til you make it.”

    Jennifer Salvemini is at heart a producer, bringing elements from her personal passions into cohesive creations, ranging from living spaces to curated events. As a student of anthropology and philosophy, her academic interests evolved into an obsession for aesthetic expression in all areas of culture. She developed an intense appreciation for deep sensory experiences and finds great satisfaction in creating sensational experiences for others. Jennifer is an interior designer living and practicing in the Catskills and is the founder of Hinterland. Hinterland is an unfurling dream. It's a playground, a sanctuary, and a home – an evolving concept to bridge disciplines, build community and generate joy. You're invited! Jennifer is also a member of the Kingston Design Connection strategy team, the organization which produces the annual Kingston Design Show House, as well as a participant designer.

    https://www.jenniferlsalvemini.com/

    https://www.thisishinterlandny.com/

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    TOP TAKEAWAYS:

    • There is enormous subversive power in characters who for too long have played the “suffer beautifully and die pitifully” roles stepping center stage, gaining love, sexual pleasure, and personal triumph. 
    • The ability to take space — with our voices, bodies, and ideas — often comes down to our own feeling of worthiness. As someone who spent her life being “a little bit too much”, the heroines of romance novels being loved for exactly who they were gave Sarah a path to imagine a world where no one said “couldn’t you just be a bit less.”
    • Writing romance is all about creativity within structure — the contract Sarah has with her readers is “happily ever after”, and she has a treasure trove of tropes to pull from. Finding her own voice and perspective within that structure while accomplishing “reader care and feeding”, is an incredibly applicable lesson for all of us who create. What does your audience want, need, and expect, and how can you deliver that for them with your unique spin? 
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    A life-long romance reader, Sarah MacLean wrote her first romance novel on a dare, and never looked back. She is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of romances translated into more than twenty-five languages, a romance columnist and the co-host of the weekly romance novel podcast, Fated Mates. A graduate of Smith College & Harvard University, she lives in New York City. Her new book, Knockout, will be released in August.

    Website: https://www.sarahmaclean.net/

    Instagram: @sarahmaclean

    Twitter: @sarahmaclean

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    About Cyndie:

    Cyndie Spiegel is a born storyteller–turned–writer; she’s an aspirational voice and an igniter of powerful conversation around self-acceptance, integrity, and joy. She is a former fashion executive, adjunct professor at Parsons School of Design and Fashion Institute of Technology, and holds a masters of professional studies. She is also a TEDx speaker and a certified yoga and meditation teacher. Her honest storytelling, vulnerable self-inquiry, and penchant for swear words have made her a sought-after speaker for conferences, brands, and organizations, and she has been featured in publications such as Forbes, Glamour, Teen Vogue, and HuffPost. She currently lives in New Jersey with her (very handsome) photographer husband, two cats, way too many patterns, and an excessive number of houseplants. She is the founder of Dear Grown Ass Women, an inclusive and highly relatable social community for women 35+, and she is also the author of A Year of Positive Thinking.  (Photo credit: Ira James) 

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    TOP TAKEAWAYS:

    • Play is a powerful tool for presence, connection, creativity, divergent thinking, and more . . . and we have to protect the vibes. Trying to commodify it, make play “efficient”, or give it a necessary goal to hit kinda kills it.
    • The Ghost of Should distracts us from our true journeys — and “being taken seriously” wasn’t the right goal for Piera. 
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    • LESSON: A few ways to get out of your head and find the FUN of communication

     

    Piera Gelardi is a creative director, entrepreneur, and speaker passionate about bringing out the creativity in everyone. She co-founded the iconic women’s media brand Refinery29, the experiential property 29Rooms, and recently launched the new play company Wild Things World. She is on a mission to bring more play to every space she enters — starting with yours!

    Her work has won accolades like Ad Age's "50 Most Creative People of the Year" Entrepreneur magazine’s "50 Most Daring Entrepreneurs and spots keynoting events like SxSW, Create & Cultivate, and Inbound.

    Outside of her work, she loves performing in storytelling shows, teaching cathartic dance, and making up songs with her 4 year old.

     

     

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    Thank you to our Season 4 sponsor, Armoire! If you're ready to try a new look, Armoire's high-end clothing rental service (full of amazing women-owned brands) will hook you up! For 50% off your first month's rental + a free item, go to http://armoire.style/voiceis and use VOICEIS in the referral box!

    CONNECTION with Susan McPherson: On building relationships and community, making people feel seen and heard, and enacting corporate change

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    Thank you to our Season 4 sponsor, Armoire! If you're ready to try a new look, Armoire's high-end clothing rental service (full of amazing women-owned brands) will hook you up! For 50% off your first month's rental + a free item, go to http://armoire.style/voiceis and use VOICEIS in the referral box!

     

    TOP TAKEAWAYS:

    • Relationship building is a lifetime process, and builds on itself. Changing environments doesn’t mean we leave old relationships behind. Keep nurturing those long standing friendships as much as you grow and nurture new connections.

    • Susan mentions the concept of hosting in her book “The Lost Art of Connecting”. What this means is, you don’t need to be the person in charge of a space in order to host other people in it. Hosting can be a secret super power that allows you to get your grounding in a new situation, as well as a vehicle for making connections from a place of generosity. To quote Susan: “Bringing people together, you're making that magic happen and you are helping people feel seen, heard, and listened to. And I fervently believe that the greatest gift we can give one another is exactly that.”

    • If we can understand the peoples greatest wish is to be seen and heard, and incorporate that into how we interact with them, we build much more fruitful and satisfying connections. It’s extremely disarming without being manipulative.  

    • We often think people like us because of what we say, but it turns out talking less and asking questions makes us more likeable. Use that curiosity: understanding other people's perspective grows our empathy and helps us understand both the world and ourselves a little better.  

    • LESSON: You can’t “hack” body language.

     

    Connect with Susan: 

    Twitter and Instagram: @Susanmcp1

    Company: www.mcsptrategies.com

    Book: TheLostArtofConnecting.com

    LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/susanmcpherson/

    Susan McPherson is a serial connector, angel investor, and corporate responsibility expert. She is the founder and CEO of McPherson Strategies, a B-corp certified communications consultancy focused on social impact. She is the author of The Lost Art of Connecting: The Gather, Ask, Do Method for Building Meaningful Relationships (McGraw-Hill). Susan has 30+ years of experience in marketing, public relations, and sustainability communications, speaking regularly at industry events including Massachusetts Conference for Women, Worth Women and Techonomy, and contributing to the Harvard Business ReviewFast Company, and Forbes. She has appeared on NPR, CNN, USA TodayThe New YorkerNew York Magazine and the Los Angeles Times.

    Susan is the recipient of Forbes magazine’s 50 over 50—Impact 2021 award and Worth Media’s Worthy100 award. She has also won numerous accolades for her voice on social media platforms from Fortune MagazineFast Company and Elle Magazine. Currently, Susan invests in and advises women-led start-ups, including: iFundWomen,Inc., Messy.fmOur PlaceThe RiveterPark Place PaymentsHint WaterApolitical and The Muse. She serves on the boards of USA for UNHCRThe 19th News, and serves on the advisory boards of The ListApolitical FoundationJust Capital and Alltruists. Additionally, she is a member of the MIT Solve Women and Technology Leadership Group and serves as an adviser to several nonprofits including She’s The First and The OpEd Project. Susan is a Vital Voices global corporate ambassador and a member of the New York Women’s Forum and Extraordinary Women on Boards. She resides in Brooklyn.