Healing Through Kink with Sex Therapist, Katherine Friedman

Today's topic is one that a lot of people find intimidating, yet so many are curious about. We're talking all things KINK and I can't wait to share this expansive conversation with all of you. 

 

Here's a bit about my guest:

 

Katherine Friedman (she/her) is a psychotherapist and intimacy consultant living and working in New York City and the Hudson Valley.  She is a New York Licensed Mental Health Counselor, an Oregon Licensed Professional Counselor, and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist.  She uses her mindful, embodied approach to assist people in all areas of sex therapy and exploration, with a particular enthusiasm for working with people from marginalized communities and those pursuing alternative sexualities and relationship styles to meet their unique desires.  As a teacher, Katherine provides classes on mindfulness, embodiment, kink, empowerment, and trauma in an array of venues. As a provider, she provides both long-term therapy and short-term consulting based on the needs and locations of clients.

 

Katherine also happens to be OG Nothing Confidential Alum! And I am SO EXCITED to welcome her back on the show! You can listen to our first conversation here:

 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/nothing-confidential-the-podcast/id1490318058?i=1000472980657

 

In THIS sit-down, we're venturing into the world of kink and exploring:

 

• The evolution of Katherine's trauma adaptations
• Healing trauma through kink
• Bondage & Why you need to know what a Non-collapsing single column tie is ;)

• Why everyone is confused about kink 

• What NOT to do when getting into kink

• What NOT to do when getting into kink 

• The biggest problem with the 50 shades franchise 

• Tips for getting better at dirty talk 

• And Katherine's Car Wash Kink (trust, you do not want to miss it!)

 

 

Resources/Links

 

Work with Katherine!

www.articulatedesire.com 

 

E-mail Katherine: 

hello@articulatedesire.com 

 

Read Katherine's Writings & Follow Her on IG:

https://www.instagram.com/articulatedesire/

 

Kink Books:

The New Bottoming Book

The New Topping Book

Playing Well with Others

 

Educators:

https://www.avgisaketopoulou.com/ 

https://www.instagram.com/mollena_lee_williams_haas/

https://www.instagram.com/stellaharriserotica/?hl=en

https://planetmidori.com/

 

 

Former party boy turned podcast host, Dustin Rybka hosts Sex Party, a show where he talks about all things sex and relationships with a different guest each and every Wednesday. As with any good party though, sometimes things get messy...

Like this 2-part conversation you're about to hear! 

In today's episode(s), my pal Dustin and I will be taking you on a journey through the many twists and turns of his reluctant quest for self-betterment. 

 

I went in with some expectations (which almost got me in trouble)... But when I dropped those (20-30 minutes in), what got to happen instead was an incredibly layered, multi-dimensional, textured conversation that wreaks with humanity, honesty, and innate goodness. 

 

A few things we're excavating are:

 

• Exploring the pain threshold: Self-punishing or healing?

• How terrifying vulnerability can be+Vulnerability with boundaries.

• Trusting the consistency/predictability of painful experiences over the vulnerability of hopefulness...

• What happens when we believe that our pain and struggle are the most interesting things about us...

• How scary/painful that moment before choosing healing/transformation can be.

• AND ALL KINDS OF THINGS YOU NEVER SAW COMING!

This is one of those conversations that will leave you with more questions than answers and I LOVE THAT. It takes courage to examine the parts of you that are incongruent. It takes courage to be in messy process. It takes courage to keep asking the hard questions of ourselves and those around us in order to gain clarity about where we're going and who we ultimately want to be. 

 

We hope this conversation gives you permission to be messy. Be curious. Be human. 

 

XO,

Christin & Dustin 

 

Connect with Dustin

 

IG:

https://www.instagram.com/dustinrybka 

Listen to My Interview with Dustin on Sex Party!

(And check out the other steamy episodes on ALL THE THINGS!)

IG:

https://www.instagram.com/sexpartyfm   

 

Referenced Material

Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott

 

 

**PART 2**

 

Former party boy turned podcast host, Dustin Rybka hosts Sex Party, a show where he talks about all things sex and relationships with a different guest each and every Wednesday. As with any good party though, sometimes things get messy...

Like this 2-part conversation you're about to hear! 

In today's episode(s), my pal Dustin and I will be taking you on a journey through the many twists and turns of his reluctant quest for self-betterment. 

 

I went in with some expectations (which almost got me in trouble)... But when I dropped those (20-30 minutes in), what got to happen instead was an incredibly layered, multi-dimensional, textured conversation that wreaks with humanity, honesty, and innate goodness. 

 

A few things we're excavating are:

 

• Exploring the pain threshold: Self-punishing or healing?

• How terrifying vulnerability can be+Vulnerability with boundaries.

• Trusting the consistency/predictability of painful experiences over the vulnerability of hopefulness...

• What happens when we believe that our pain and struggle are the most interesting things about us...

• How scary/painful that moment before choosing healing/transformation can be.

• AND ALL KINDS OF THINGS YOU NEVER SAW COMING!

This is one of those conversations that will leave you with more questions than answers and I LOVE THAT. It takes courage to examine the parts of you that are incongruent. It takes courage to be in messy process. It takes courage to keep asking the hard questions of ourselves and those around us in order to gain clarity about where we're going and who we ultimately want to be. 

 

We hope this conversation gives you permission to be messy. Be curious. Be human. 

 

XO,

Christin & Dustin 

 

Connect with Dustin

 

IG:

https://www.instagram.com/dustinrybka 

Listen to My Interview with Dustin on Sex Party!

(And check out the other steamy episodes on ALL THE THINGS!)

IG:

https://www.instagram.com/sexpartyfm   

 

Referenced Material

Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott

 

 

AAAAAANNNDDDDD I've got something BRAND NEW for you! Again!

 

For the first time EVER, I'm sharing a client tell-all. In this episode, my former client, Natasha, gives you an intimate behind-the-scenes on the 6-month somatic sex coaching we did together. 

 

This conversation is filled with juicy tidbits of wisdom, reflection, and heart-opening honesty. 

 

But first, here's a bit more about this phenomenal Woman:

 

Natasha Rankin is a Business Mentor & Wealth Expander for spiritual women. She’s a wife, mama, yogi, and real estate investor. Natasha is the creator of The Sensitive Business Academy which helps coaches and healers package their magic into a signature group program and turn it into a 6-figure revenue stream. In all of her offerings, Natasha combines intuitive marketing & sales strategy with deep mindset and healing work to create the greatest transformation for her clients.

 

Post our time together in a private coaching container, Natasha has also become a friend and beautiful presence in my life. I am so grateful for her willingness to demystify the process of healing (and stepping into) Her relationship to authentic sexual expression. 

 

Here's what we're unpacking: 

• The belief that Sexual brokenness was “fixed”; That She was fundamentally broken and “not a sexual person”.

• How our work together was the “deepest edge” she had ever lived into on her personal growth journey.

• The key differences between her experience of traditional therapy and the somatic work that we did together.

• The state of disconnect between knowing in the head and feeling in the body.

• SAFETY. The vital, non-negotiable role of safety in healing the tenderest parts of ourselves.

• Tash’s journey from turtleneck lady to cleavage Queen!

• The inner conflict of being turned off by objectification and a deep need to be seen and desired.

• Sexuality as a facet of wholeness and wellness.

• What changed when she started having and enjoying more sex.

   

  AND. SO. MUCH. MORE.

   

   

I truly loved this conversation. My desire is that it support and nourish you on your own quest for deeper healing, alignment, and authentic expression. 

 

XO,

 

Christin 

 

 

Connect & Work with Natasha!

 

Visit Her Website: https://www.natasharankin.co/ 

 

Follow Her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/thenatasharankin 

 

I'm back from Hiatus and feeling GIDDY to reconnect with YOU, my amazing listeners, and bring you FRESH conversations that ooze beauty, humor, and VITALITY. 

In my rambling 20-minute intro, I'm updating you on where I've been (my head) and what's been going on behind the scenes. 

When I finally wrap up the hemming and hawing (I'm a little rusty after a few months off), I introduce you to award-winning novelist, a former client, and my friend, Mrs. Brooke Adams Law. 

 

About Brooke:

 

Brooke Adams Law is an award-winning author, book coach, and CEO of Writing Brave Publishing.

She helps creative, intuitive women who have always wanted to be writers step into their author identity and start, finish and publish brave, dazzling books. 

Brooke's debut novel Catchlight was chosen as the winner of the Fairfield Book Prize, named a Best Indie Book of 2020 by Kirkus Reviews and featured on Good Morning America’s blog. 

She's famous for teaching a juicy, Divine-Feminine-inspired creative process that makes the journey of writing a pleasure, inspiring her clients to write and finish books they love, find new layers of richness in the stories they want to share, and express their most empowered creative selves.

 

In this Episode: 

We explore...

• Honoring our multi-faceted humanity 

  by normalizing sex through story

• Character development as a practice in deep empathy

• Prioritizing the process over the result and permission to not know where things are going

• The evolution of Brooke's own sex life post shifting away from being so goal-oriented (and how this approach also changed the way She shows up to create art)

• Reconnecting with “turn on” in order to deepen both sexual and creative expression

• Pleasure as fuel for our Activism 

 

Links:

Work with Brooke!

Connect with her on Instagram

Publish Your Book

Purchase & Read Her Juicy Novel!

Protect Women's Rights to Health Care & Bodily Autonomy

Purchase & Read 'Pleasure Activism' By Adrienne Maree Brown 

Join the Fight to End Gun Violence

 

 

This episode is by far the most vulnerable (for me personally) I've ever released.

 

When I asked Victoria Washington back for round 2 (check out Ep. #45 for our first conversation!), I knew we were going to go DEEP...I just assumed it would be around conscious leadership, building a multi-million dollar empire, Her life-changing embodiment work, and the fact that this QUEEN released a documentary at the beginning of the year to reveal her new name/identity to the thousands of humans in her global community...

And we kind of did touch on all of that. The first 40ish minutes of the conversation unpack:

• The exhale that comes when we tap into the currency of peace
• What happens when we shift from HAVING a big vision to being held by our vision
• The difference between originality and our original assignment
• How to stop judging our dissatisfaction and allow it to fuel our creativity
• Difference between alignment and momentum 
• Jealousy and celebrating other's wins as our own
• + A whole HOLY host of other stuff that may end the podcast...we shall see.

You can join the embodied wealth revolution and follow Victoria's breathtaking artistry on Instagram.

https://www.instagram.com/iamvictoriawashington/ 

 

NEW WEBSITE and Offerings coming SOON!

 

XO,

Christin 

This Month's conversation isn't an easy one and it comes with a *TRIGGER WARNING*.

 

3 courageous, beautiful women, who are also my close personal friends, agreed to sit down with me and speak candidly about their miscarriages. 

 

1 in 4 women will experience the loss of a pregnancy in their lifetime...and yet, this topic is still extremely closeted. It can feel awkward, uncomfortable, shameful, or even unsafe to share. Because of this, we as a society do not understand how to support ourselves or those we love as we navigate one of life's most tender and impactful events. 

 

-We discuss the differences and commonalities in each of their experiences

 

-The most supportive thing a friend can do for a friend who has miscarried

 

-What no one tells you about miscarriage

 

-How the health system fails women going through pregnancy loss

 

-What it's like to be pregnant after losing a pregnancy 

 

My hope in holding space for this conversation is to see and honor those who have miscarried and equip those who haven't with increased awareness that may help them offer deeper support and compassion in the future. 

 

DISCLAIMER: These are the lived experiences of individuals. This conversation should not be treated as medical or professional advice.

 

Deep gratitude to Liza Witonis, Lesley Gordon-Malone, and Erica Ballard Nelson for sharing their stories with us. I hope you have found healing in them. 

 

XO,

Christin  

This Month's conversation isn't an easy one and it comes with a *TRIGGER WARNING*.

 

In part one of this 2-part episode, 3 courageous, beautiful women, who are also my close personal friends, agreed to sit down with me and speak candidly about their miscarriages. 

In part 2, my close friend Erica (who you met in part 1) and I go deeper into the conversation. 

 

-Erica shares openly about the things no one tells you about miscarriage

-The mind-fuck of being in a post-pregnancy loss body

-What awareness she gained from going through the experience 

-Things you're "not allowed" to say about miscarriage 

-How partners can be more supportive

 

I'm so grateful to Erica for her raw, unfiltered sharing. Our hope is that you leave this conversation feeling seen and loved. 

 

DISCLAIMER: These are the lived experiences of individuals. This conversation should not be treated as medical or professional advice.

 

XO,

Christin  

WELCOME BACK, Y'ALL!!!

Season 3 of Nothing Confidential has undergone a bit of a "glow up" and I'm so excited to share deep, intentional, soul-shifting conversations with you on a monthly basis.

 

Our first 2-part Episode titled "Dearly Departed" features two breathtaking humans who were gracious in sharing their sacred experiences with me. 

We'll be exploring the dying process-How we feel, think, speak about it, and interact with it. There's so much here in honoring life, allowing ourselves to feel love and grief in the same measure.

I told you we were going deep this year and baby, I'm swimming in the depths. Feeling it all. Noticing the urge to "hurry up and get to something happier". 

I hope that you will listen and allow yourselves to be impacted, softened, and perhaps cracked open just a smidge wider-letting more love and life in. 

 

In Part 1 of this tender conversation, I am honored to talk with Michele D'Ercole. 

 

Michele’s professional career in the Holistic healing arts has been constant since 1982 but the healing of Her body trauma of cancer, car accidents, autoimmune dis-ease, and emergency surgery is where She really began putting the teachings into practice.  Herbal Medicine, extensive Massage Therapy modalities, Energy medicine, Yoga, and a deep spiritual practice are all pieces of the healing journey incorporated in working with Her.

 

In this conversation, Michele shares the powerful story of how she came to support both her Mother and Father in their end-of-life transitions. Her warmth, candor, and wisdom can be felt throughout.

 

Learn more about Michele and her work here:

https://www.facebook.com/michelelouiseLLC 

https://instagram.com/michelelouise_thevitalitycoach 

 

In the second half of this 2-part conversation, "Dearly Departed", Kiana shares one of the most profoundly impactful experiences of her life-Singing her Grandmother to the other side. 

 

Kiana Reeves is a Somatic Sex Educator, sexological bodyworker, pelvic health practitioner, full-spectrum doula, mother of 2, and Chief Brand Officer at Foria. With over a decade in the field of sexual wellness, Kiana's work brings together teachings from the fields of birth, sex, pleasure, intimacy, and embodiment. 

 

Some of the topics we gently probe in this conversation:

 

Experiencing a more natural integration of loss...

 

The similarities between the process of being born and the process of dying...

 

Allowing the depth of our grief to open us to the amount of love that is present in the same measure...

 

Allowing our children to witness the process of dying.

 

Viewing death as our final invitation to deeply know someone and be known.

 

You can lightly (and respectfully) stalk Kiana on Instagram!

https://www.instagram.com/kiana.reeves/