How do I stop binge eating and not give up my passion for food?

Last night I was at Stoneys Rockin’ Country.

A nice cowboy guy asked me to dance.

We were dancing…and he said ‘oops, I’m sorry, I messed up.’

I said ‘you can’t mess up dancing. You can’t do it wrong as long as you’re having fun!’

I don’t think he agreed lol.

Back when I was first learning to two-step, I would have guys stop me in the middle of the dance floor and tell me I’m doing it wrong.

They were obviously not good at living in the moment.

I’m all for ‘hey, let’s try this, and if you turn this way when my hand goes here, then we can do this cool move and it’s fun!’

But ‘you’re doing it wrong’ or ‘i’m doing it wrong’?

Nah.

We can’t do it ‘wrong.’

What’s the purpose of dancing?

To have fun.

When I like the song, I always have fun dancing.

This podcast episode is NOT for all of you who are like ‘um, Julie, you’re wrong, obviously there’s a right way and a wrong way to dance.’

This episode is for all of you who are like ‘wait a minute…I literally make up the rules for my own life…and as long as I’m having fun dancing, I AM doing it right!’

And learning new things is fun, but I still can’t do it ‘wrong’ as long as I’m having fun! I’ve been practicing doing things that feel good.

Letting go of how things look to other people or what other people’s expectations are of me. At a recent conference there was a live band and one of my formerly ‘dreaded’ things happened. A dance circle. Just so you know where I’m coming from, I never even shook my booty even a little bit before I turned 25. You know the movie footloose?

Yeah. haha. That was me.

So when I first went dancing with some friends, I LOVED the idea of it, but was SO worried about whether or not I was doing it right.

They taught me some moves, but still… a dance circle was a nightmare for me haha.

So I was at this conference we were all dancing to the music and then the crowd parted and the dreaded dance circle started.

This is not a story where I was awesome and went in the middle and crushed it.

This is a story of my friend Cathey who continued to do her own thing outside of the circle.

I was honestly mesmerized by her moves.

She doesn’t drink so everything she did was 100% her normal every day self.

As she danced, one thing became clear to me.

The reason that her moves were so awesome.

She was dancing for herself.

She could not care less about what anyone else was doing…she had the largest most awesome smile and was absolutely crushing it.

And by crushing it, I don’t mean she was doing anything fancy.

She was just being 100% her.

And it was inspiring.

I've been thinking a lot about what I’m put on earth to do.

And I think that one of the things I’m here to do is show you that you can dance YOUR way and you can’t do it wrong.

You can’t do the dance of life wrong.

One of my exes had the moves memorized but he had no rhythm. (no judgment here haha, I didn’t care)

Even though I LOVE dancing and we met while dancing, he NEVER wanted to go out dancing.

But every wedding we went to, he trotted me out and showed off for the crowd, edging the others off the dance floor.

And yes, we DID make quite a spectacle.

I’m talking flips and that move that Baby did in that one movie where she ran and did a headstand off his shoulders as he held her hips… But he didn’t dance for pleasure…he danced to be seen of others.

How many of us are missing the dance of life?…We trott out memorized dance moves to be seen of others.

We learn more moves and train harder, not for pleasure of the moves, but because we want to impress others.

Ew.

It’s so much more fun to ask ourselves ‘what do we want to do?’

This World has so many exciting and amazing things we can do for work.

So many things we can do for pure pleasure.

So many things we can learn.

So many people to meet.

So many cultures to experience.

What would I do if no matter what I chose to do and no matter who I chose to be…everyone who matters thinks I’m awesome? (side note…the only person who needs to think you’re awesome is you…and the rest will happen naturally…)

I had another boyfriend who loved dancing but thought he wasn’t good at it.

(Not enough characters left, listen or check out the full story on my Rhino Julie FB page for this part of the story)

It’s a great journal prompt: What moments in life can we enjoy more fully if we let go of the made up rules of others.

We are all different…we all have ways that we want to show up and things we want to do.

But no one else can make your rules for you.

You have to make your own.

If it feels good to you, check out my private online group at www.rhinojulie.com …

In the private group I make live courses on making your own rules for business, relationships, money, weight loss and life in general. I share things I would NEVER share on the interwebs and enjoy the camaraderie of the like minded souls in the group. We are all learning, growing, and busting out of the pre-programmed lives that were set up for us by others.

My life partner wants kids...I don't...how I handle our breakup.

No, I don't actually talk about painting my walls yellow in the episode, but here is a picture of my Mom and I painting them just a few days after my breakup.

Lol it WAS therapeutic.

How to overcome the fear of failure or quitting...

What if failure didn’t exist? What if the implications of failure are just something we made up as humans?

What if we were put on earth to follow our hearts and our intuition and try lot’s and lot’s of different things?

What if there was no failure, there was only learning and growing?

On a coaching call yesterday, one of my Mastermind Members has finished what I call a season of purpose.

(She was feeling like she had failed, but we reframed it together) She started a new business 3 ½ years ago, went hard, put everything she had into it, and changed lives.

But it was the hardest years of her life and she gave up a LOT personally to keep it going.

There were some tough feelings of regret that surfaced.

But I asked her ‘Why would you want to erase all that learning and growing? You are perfectly set up for your next season of purpose.’

That’s right, we can have different seasons of purpose.

Meaning…there doesn’t have to be just one purpose that we spend our whole lives fulfilling or searching for.

We can have many different seasons of purpose and many different seasons of friendships.

She has had many people try to tell her ‘you’re in the tough part, you can’t quit now, keep going, you’ve got this!’

They mean well.

But what if there is no ‘quitting’?

What if there is just choosing something better?

There are so many made up rules about how we are supposed to live this life.

Really, we are only supposed to try one thing and stick to it no matter what?

We are supposed to finish the degree even if we start hating the subject?

We are supposed to stay with the person when our heart and soul are in agony?

Choosing is not quitting.

It’s okay to change our goals.

It’s okay to decide ‘this or something better.’

It’s okay to decide ‘I don’t want this anymore, I want that.’

And it’s also okay if we feel like we crashed and burned many times along the way.

It’s okay if the thing we were excited about, we are no longer excited about.

What if we were put here to try as many experiences as possible while being nice to our fellow humans and spreading the joy that only comes from following our hearts?

I have an entrepreneur friend whose goal is to make 1 Million a year…in profit.

She’s in her 40’s and has been at the game a while.

She is currently at about $500,000 profit per year and heading towards $750,000.

She was up till 2am the night before we talked, working.

We talked about this subject of ‘choosing isn’t quitting.’

She said ‘I feel like I make goals and then I quit before I achieve them.’

I said ‘choosing to change your goals isn’t quitting.’

‘And…what’s wrong with $500,000 per year?’

She told me about when she was making $300,000 per year…and how she only worked 1 ½ hours a day…and how happy she was…but then she got bored!

I love her story lol.

As entrepreneurs we often get bored with what we are doing.

And that’s okay, too.

But when we are seeking our next season of purpose, it’s important to not let the outside ideas and pressure in.

It’s important to not make our new goals based off of something that other people deem ‘cool.’

What do WE want?

What lights us up?

Currently, what lights me up is helping my entrepreneur friends with their businesses.

I love hearing about their businesses and I LOVE strategy.

But most of all I love listening to their hearts and peeling back the layers of ‘shoulds’ and ‘rules’, just like they do for me. 

I decided to share stuff more openly on social media in 2020. I made a cringy video and edited my spaces and ums out.

I didn’t keep up with it very well.

But little by little it got easier and easier to do.

This blog is about how to get more confidence and where it comes from.

***I would watch the video instead of read the blog…it’s more fun with some extra stuff…but some of you are readers and not watchers or listeners so I honor you with this written version that were just my notes for the video****

Yep, you guessed it, I’m about to share where I am now and then I’m going to share some super cringy examples of where I used to be.

But first…why do we care so gosh darn much about what people think????? Well, it’s because in the ‘olden’ days we would have been thrown out of our wandering tribe into the wilderness to be eaten by a bear if we didn’t fit in. And our thousands of years old brain has us programmed to fit in for survival.

Okay, now that we have that settled, back to the confidence topic.

Where I am now:

“I wish I had your confidence!”

I hear that a lot.

My boyfriend says I’m the most confident person he’s ever met. And he’s a musician. 

Where I was then:

I used to eat lunch in the middle school bathroom because trying to fit in was so agonizing. I knew some nice girls but I always felt like they knew things I didn’t, knew how to act, knew what was cool, knew what to say.

I was so nervous before the first bootcamp I taught in the parks that I couldn’t eat or sleep. 

I agonized over every little thing, replaying how the class went in my head and the things I should have done better.

When I started the first Henderson location, I put fliers on doors and got 12 women to sign up.

This was the first time I was going to have all of them show up at once. Before, I would have one or two trickle in to ‘try it’ but then they would leave so it was mostly my friends and family who weren’t paying.

This was different. They were paying $200 a month.

I was trying to figure out how I should treat them, how I should start the class and how I should end the class.

Mom said her aerobics instructor hugged everyone.

So I started by hugging everyone and being ridiculously cheerful and upbeat.

But that wasn’t me.

I mean, I like hugging people, but this was called ‘BOOTCAMP’ not Hug Camp.

So the next day I left the hugs at home and started the class with a hardcore set of rules for the class. 

And we ended it bringing our sweaty hands in and yelling ‘BOOTCAMP TOUGH’ at the top of our lungs.

Much better.

Now let’s talk about dating.

Before, I would change myself to be more ‘likable’ for whoever I was with.

I would also cook, clean (okay, I’m not much of a cleaner but better than most dudes), and ‘serve’ them like the woman most of us were brought up to be.

I would pride myself on never arguing with them and always taking care of them.

Then I would break up with them because you can’t live that life for very long, you know?

With Denny I am 100% myself at home. 

And it’s funny how often I CHOOSE to do things for him, but he doesn’t expect it.

We cook our own food, we do our own laundry, we are independent of one another but best buds.

And because I’m being myself in my relationship, I am flourishing in all the other parts of my life.

I never think ‘I should do x,y or z so he doesn’t want to leave me.’ 

Which is what I used to think until I got tired of it and then I would leave them.

I have some VERY humbling stories from when I was in pretty bad relationships that I will share with my mastermind if anyone needs to feel better about these things (LOL)

“Okay, okay Rhino, but what do we do to get more confidence?”

Well, you know I’m gonna tell you that it starts with loving yourself. Which is something we work super hard on in my Mastermind. And I have a lot of podcast episodes about it, too.

But don’t worry, there’s another way.

Because for me, loving myself took 33 years LOL. And you might want to go out of your comfort zone and do something cool NOW, not years from now.

The other way to get confidence is through repetition.

It’s by taking a tiny step that is uncomfortable and doing it again and again until it becomes comfortable and then taking a further step.

It’s just like learning to ride a bike or learning to drive or learning a new job. It’s tough at first, but then to quote my Grandpa, ‘Everything is easy when you know how.’

With writing, making podcasts, making videos, speaking, starting a new business…just take the first step knowing that it will get easier and easier.

Meanwhile, know that your subconscious is fighting you the entire way.

Because it’s trying to keep us safe.

Historically, new things could mean danger or death.

So whenever those thoughts come up that try to keep you from your new thing you are trying…ask yourself ‘is that true?’ ‘What is a truer thought?’

For example… you want to start a new business. Or you want to start putting yourself out there and making more content for your current business.

But something keeps stopping you.

Journal out the thoughts that come up.

Thoughts could be:

“I’m afraid my friends will laugh at me”

“I’m afraid I will fail”

“I’m afraid my idea isn’t as good as I think it is”

Then…ask yourself, ‘what’s a truer thought?’

“My friends will support me. “

“The only people whose opinions matter are the ones I’m helping with my new idea/content.”

“I do not fail, I only learn and grow.”

“I will try and learn from what I try so I can try again.”

“I love my idea, and it helped me. I’ll find more people who need my idea.” 

These new thoughts become your ‘mantras’ 

They get written on sticky notes and places on a mirror. 

Maybe you turn them into a little ditty you sing to yourself.

Personally, I just go through my thoughts every morning and make new thoughts. And if the same thoughts keep cropping up, I might make a sticky note or two.

What are your new thoughts?

The reason I don’t ask anyone’s opinion on anything…and the story about yesterdays elevator pitch crashing and burning.

I built my new mastermind and I didn’t ask a single person what they thought about what I was doing.

Because I realized something recently.

If I’m not doing it from my heart, and if what I create isn’t coming fully from me, I’m not going to attract the most aligned members and I’m not going to enjoy myself nearly as much.

I didn’t ask for advice on my personal brand colors (I LOVE them)

I didn’t ask for advice on my landing page (I don’t love it right now, but I think the right women will see past it)

I didn’t ask for advice on what I should provide (I woke up at 4:30 am this morning so freaking excited to work on my mastermind because I’m providing what felt aligned to provide)

I didn’t ask for advice on my ‘elevator pitch.’ 

Right now I’m winging it.

I crashed and burned in an online networking group last night on my ‘elevator pitch’ LOLOL. 

I forgot we were going to do one so I just decided to say what would come to mind.

I thought I had a flash of brilliance…which turned out to be hilarious…

So I said ‘I started a mastermind, it’s like Only Fans for Entrepreneurs and Women who want to work on their mindset. They get to ask questions and I give them an inside peek into what life is really like for me and how I actually got here…from miserable and broke to happy and a million dollar a year business.’

Okay, I don’t REALLY think I crashed and burned. 

That’s impossible.

It’s about the energy, not the words. 

And the women who are drawn to my Mastermind can feel that they want to be in it. 

I can’t say it wrong, can’t do it wrong.

‘You should charge more.’ I’ve been getting this a lot, and it’s such a freaking compliment.

Thanks for telling me I’m valuable.

But I want to charge what I’m charging because it feels good to me.

And I don’t need the money from my mastermind right now.

One day the Mastermind will be $500 a month for new members, but right now it’s, oh, 95% less.

I’m not asking for opinions on what I wear or how I do my hair or what pictures I choose for things.

I do like hearing from my bf but honestly he just tells me I’m beautiful and yes, he does like my hair parted down the middle, but it’s fun the other way too.

I don’t ask people’s opinions on what I’m doing…but I DO love hearing what other people are doing. 

I love getting that little spark that ignites my own flame.

It’s like I’m a candle and I put my candle against their candle and then all of the sudden I’M LIT…but it’s my own flame. It didn’t take from their flame…they still have theirs and it’s theirs alone

Brainstorming is amazing! People are fun!

I didn’t ask anyone if I should go by the name Rhino. 

I just liked it.

What if you could create anything and you couldn’t do it wrong? You couldn’t mess it up? What would you create?

I wish I would have known this 1 year ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago.

We get a little crazy in this episode, but I think the info is important so I'm okay going out on a limb a little bit.

Go to www.rhinojulie.com and join my email list to get the free gift I talk about in this episode.

 I am not sure that I would have heard this before the last couple years. So I'm kind of struggling with sharing this on my YouTube channel and my podcast, because I'm just kind of thinking, like, I don't think past Julie, would've been in a position to hear this, but here's what made me decide to share.

because maybe if you listen to this and you're like, I don't know what this chick is talking about. Like, I am thi this does not make any sense, but you hear it through, it might bounce around in your brain. And then one day  1, 10, 20 years from now. You'll be like, I get it. Like this happened to me. I understand.

Or maybe the reason that I feel compelled to share it is because everyone's just going to. Get it. And everyone's gonna have their own examples of how this is true in their life. And every single one of you is just gonna be like, yeah, Julie, I already knew that and you are late to the party. Okay. However, this shakes down, I'm telling you what we're about to talk about is the best way to lose the weight.

Best way to get the guy. . If that's what you're trying to do best way to build the business best way. To just become happy in our lives. It's the absolute best way. And like I said, you've probably heard it before, but I'm gonna give you some crazy examples of this in my own life. And here's what the big brutal secret is that without love and acceptance now, as we are the weight loss journey, the business journey.

The dating journey. They are all just never ending cycles of not good enough. And there's just this giant chasm, this giant huge chasm between who we are and who we want to be, who we think we should be. And because of that, energetically, we're just not in the place to receive. All of these amazing things and to have the breakthrough.

So basically we need to give ourselves permission to be us exactly as we are right now, people always used to tell me, Julie, you need to love yourself. Or they were talking about loving themselves. And I would be like loving myself. They, the way, the way that my community growing up would talk about it is, you know, it's God first it's everyone else and yourself less.

Julie doesn't matter. Like Julie doesn't fit into the equation. Julie will be okay. Julie can suffer. Like, Julie's fine. Like, that was always how it was. And I think that's, most of the world believes that. And because of that, there's a lot of charitable things done and, and, and, you know, there's other ways, like, I just believe in love.

but if we don't love ourselves, I just remember me really brutally real with you guys. I remember that because I didn't love myself. I was nice to other people, but I was judgemental. I didn't have just this love. I had a care for the world. I deeply cared when people were suffering, when they were wounded, when, when they needed help, I wanted to help them.

But the difference between rhino now and Julie, then , I call myself rhino, is that I feel this love for the world. Most of the time, still human I'll be standing in line at the grocery store. And I'll just look at the person in front of me and I'll be like, oh look, you know, they like how they did their hair, how cute, like just, you know, having love towards them.

And it's because I love myself and. With weight loss. If we don't give ourselves permission to be exactly how we are right now, a hundred percent permission. And then from that space, we choose to be like making choices that, that we want to choose. Like we, you know, we we're in this space of being fully us and fully in love with us.

And then we say what feels good to us? And then all of a sudden, instead of. Making these decisions that are like binging and things like that. All of a sudden we're just supporting our bodies and we don't care about food as much. And we focus on how we want to feel, but it's bigger than that. It's bigger than that.

Have you ever really wanted something really bad? Maybe you wanted kids really bad and you couldn't have them. And then once you just kind of gave up and you're like, you know, Life is fine. Like, I love my significant other. We're fine. And then all of a sudden you got pregnant or you're trying so hard to lose weight.

This was me like in the beginning, when I first started my business, my, uh, my gyms, I was 65 pounds heavier and doctors had told me it'd be really, really hard for me to lose weight. And I was like, oh, this is tough. Right. And I just remember the first four months I didn't lose any weight. And I was like,  the doctors told me that.

And so instead of working out so hard to lose weight, all of a sudden I decided that I just, I kinda liked what we were doing. It felt good to push myself. It felt good to challenge myself. Like I don't like exercising, never did like exercising, but there was something about the challenge that made me feel so good after that, I was like, I'm gonna keep doing.

Just because I, I like the challenge. And then all of a sudden the weight, the weight came off. It's like, what are you kidding? Me? And Carl Rogers, he says, the curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change crazy. Right? Absolutely crazy. It's the same with dating. So with dating before when I was dating, I had all these things.

That I wanted to fix and change about myself and all these ways that I didn't feel like I fit into society or fit into the mold of people's perfect girlfriends. I remember one time I dated this guy and he wanted me to wear heels more often and I broke up with him because even back then, I knew that that was just strange.

Like, and I mean, well, he needed to go find a girl that wore heels all the time. It wasn't strange. He can, he can desire whatever he wants.  but it's like, for me, I'm not gonna go fit into that mold. I'm just not like, and I also had the biological clock ticking. So when you hit your thirties, there's this thing, you're like, you gotta find the guy, you gotta get married, you gotta have the kids.

And there was this big disconnect between who I was and who I thought I should be. And because of that, I wasn't finding the right people. I wasn't with the right people. And. I found my current boyfriend. Who's amazing. We've been together three years. Our home life is just amazing. We have our things like anybody else, but like, but our home life is just so, so good.

And our little doggie is amazing and I got him when I finally didn't care anymore. I decided I didn't wanna have kids. I was just happy. I had my life like figured out. I felt like, and I'd also hired a dating coach that taught me how to practice my flirting. And so when I , when I met him, I was just practicing my flirting.

I wasn't trying, like I was following the dating course and the dating course said, You go out and you practice you're flirting and you find the best looking guy, you know, the most attractive one in the room to you and you go up to him and you practice your flirting and then you walk away like no expectation, just no expectation at all.

So I went and he was touring. He's a musician and he was up on stage and I went up to him after and my pickup line was, Hey, are you here to see the band too? Because he was in the band. So it was like a joke and he just kinda like laughed and, you know, he was just so genuine and he said, no, I'm in the band.

And I said, I know I'm just here to practice my flirting. And then I walked away and then he wouldn't let me walk away. And now we've been together three years that he lives in Vegas now. And he's amazing. So what I'm trying to say is that happened for me when I didn't have any expectation on. And was just living my life and loving myself the way I was crazy stuff.

And then this has also happened in business where during the pandemic. So I have been fighting to keep my business. We've had amazing times. We have had rock bottom, crazy pants times, and I've been fighting to keep my business. Now it's been 18 years, but at the pandemic time, it was like what? That was three years ago.

So 15, 16 years, six yeah, 16 years. And when the pandemic hit, I just had this wash of calm come over me and I realized everything will be fine if I don't have this business. Everything will be fine. There's always a way we could go back to the parks. We could rent. We could rent a high school gymnasium.  oh, no, there's just, there are options.

There are options. And I, I really didn't have any pride about it. No ego about it. Just everything will be fine. And in fact, my truck was also in the shop and my brother used to have this old, old Honda.  where he drilled, like the fender into it and stuff. And our dog Ozzie and my boyfriend and I, we took, we had to borrow the Honda and we were in line at, in and out.

And we didn't have, we forgot our wallets. We had to scrounge and like find money. And all of a sudden I realized that if I was looking at my life, From somewhere else. And I saw that scene of me in the old beat up Honda scrounging for money at 38 years old or however old, I was a few years ago, a couple years ago, but I had Denny, I had Ozzie, I had my family, I had love.

I was like, I'm cool. I'm fine. Everything is fine. And just the, the whole concept of it was absolutely nuts that I would be fine, but I was, I was so fine and I would make this joke about where my worst case scenario as moving back in with my parents and my mom would probably try to do my laundry. I wouldn't let her, but she would try.

And does that sound so bad? No, not at all. And then what happened? And then all of these things, and I talk about it in the mastermind, cuz there's a lot, there's more to it than this, but this is, this is maybe the biggest part of it. I was also doing like a morning routine that I did for a couple years that I shared my mastermind and stuff.

Actually, I think I'm gonna share that for free. I'm gonna do that as a free gift, so watch out for it. But anyways, like for a limited time and then I'm gonna package it in my courses. But anyways, after that we bought a building, we became like as successful or more successful than ever. We, our team was the best, best, best, best that it had ever been.

Our rhinos the best, best, best. We've always had amazing rhinos. If you're a rhino, I love you. If you're not a rhino, I love you too. But. Everything just worked out. It's like really, all I had to do was love myself the way that I was and feel into the feeling of happiness now, just as I am and oh, and going back to the Honda story.

That was the day the gyms were shut down. And so that's what I was talking about. Like, looking back if I had no context, the gyms had been shut down, we were in this beat up condo. We didn't have enough money for in and out, like if I had no context and it was just that, like that I'd be okay. That was a big piece of that story.

But what I'm trying to say is when we rewire our brains, and this is a big thing that we work on in my mastermind too, when we rewire our brains to love ourselves now, And then with curiosity and excitement, like getting curious about things. Hmm. What would happen? Let me feel into this with my intuition.

Let me see how this feels to me. And then I get excited about whatever, like you forge ahead with curiosity and excitement, trying new things, seeing where the new things lead you. And then voila, we release. We released the shame. We released the guilt. We released the unworthiness and yes, we release the extra weight.

Physically and mentally we released the business from the bondage that was us striving and trying, and having a hard time. We release our dating story and we step into a new story.

There's other ways to do this. I, I truly believe you can work yourself to the bone. Lose the weight. I believe you could work yourself to the bone and build your business. I believe you can. I don't know. Dating. I don't know anything about dating. I'm just kidding.  kind of, no, I I'm sure. I never figured out the way, the other way to date besides like, I, I really feel like loving yourself is the only way to have the relationships you.

That opinion is subject to change without notice. But for right now, that's really, and truly how I feel. Cuz if we don't love ourselves, everything is just a box to be checked. The relationships aren't real. If we're not true to ourselves, it's a facade of us that is in the relationship, which can't be a real relationship.

Right. But that could be a subject for another day. Thank you so much. If you're still listening, you are crazy and I appreciate you and I'll be having a free gift coming out. That will be from one of my courses. This one is about business, but I'll probably be making a free gift about getting and a free gift about weight loss too.

Just I feel into these things. So I'll be packaging that it'll be up soon. You can always go. Does, you can always message me and say, Hey, what's the free gift right now. And I can send it to you.  rhino tough. You are limitless. Life is a game that we get to make the rules for. Let's play.

Hey, Hey, Hey Rhino Julie here, who is Rhino Julie? Well, Rhino Julie went from ridiculously broke, sad, overweight to owning a multi-location at gym business and being happy in every area of my life, except when I'm not happy in an area of my life. In which case  I fix it, move on and make that area of my life happy.

And I wanna teach everyone else how to do the same. Okay. This podcast episode is about whenever we feel like we fix one area of our life and then all of the, like another area of our life just falls apart and it's like, ah, how can we juggle all the things? That's what this podcast episode is about. So we're gonna start this podcast episode by starting when I was 12.

Talking about that. We're gonna talk about how I started writing a fiction book, because I felt like in the book I could escape my life and live the one that I was writing instead. And I could build any life for this girl in this book. I could save her from any situation I could make her pretty. I could make her funny.

I could make her super smart. I could make her whatever I wanted to make her. And I started the book with her sitting and looking out the window. She was at the lowest point in her life broke, loveless, I had quite the imagination at 12. Actually when I was 12, I was going through some stuff, the transition from 12 to 13, let's just say I ate lunch in the bathroom at school for a lot of different reasons.

And we had this minister living with us and he was amazing. Okay. He was great.  Anybody who gives their life for something is awesome. And he thought it would be really good for me if he took me around house to house and had me knock on the doors of all of the friends, my friends in my middle school.

Well, I mean, I say friends like loosely, like I definitely, there was a group of really cool girls that I got to hang out with, but I just was not. I was going through a lot of stuff. And then talking to these girls later, like they were going through these things too, and they felt super insecure and awful too.

But I liked to eat lunch in the bathroom because then nobody would take my lunch and I could read my book. Okay. So he would have me go around door to door, knock on the door and say, "Hi, my name is Julie". We're holding bible studies at our house and I was in my dress and stuff. And one time, like this girl answers the door and she was just one of the most popular girls in school that I never really talked to.

And I just like froze. And he nudged me, the minister nudged me. He was 83 years old. He was, he was awesome. He nudged me, and he's like, "Say your thing." And so I would say my thing and I just remember being so, mortified. And I was living in the laundry room because the ministers were staying with us, which is fine.

Mom made it, she put a little caught in there for me. It was fine. Okay. What I'm trying to say is at this time in my life, when I was trying to write this book, I was escaping my current reality. And I was always living in my imagination and I always imagined that one day I was gonna be awesome,  but then in 2004, when that awesomeness was supposed to be happening in my life.

Like I was an adult. Let's go . If I were to rank my life at that time, looking back, number one, being like the worst it's ever been. And then number 10, like being the best, I was miserable in almost every aspect, except the love of my family, cuz my family's awesome. And there's a lot of love there. So my significant other, I ranked that situation.

Oh one. Take full responsibility for that. My social and my friends, I ranked a one. I take full responsibility for that too. There were great people in my life, but I wasn't being true to myself. I was living a very uncomfortable existence, putting up a facade and there was a lot of things underneath that facade, like just thinking that I was supposed to be a certain way, live a certain way.

I'm sure you've gone through this. Like where you're just living the way you feel like you're supposed to live, and all of it is fake. Like all, like you just muster up the positivity and the smiles and you do the thing, but really on the inside, you're miserable, and you're like, "What's wrong with me? I have all of these things to be thankful for.

And here I am, like just not feeling good." But it like when we're not living our truth and we're not true to who we are. It could be very miserable on the inside money. I would've ranked money. Definite one, the brokers I ever was in my life. Well actually that's not true because we were raised pretty poor.

Like my parents are awesome, but they had a lot of bad luck stuff happen to them. And so, I guess I wasn't the brokes I'd ever been, but in my adult set like life, like where I was responsible for everything, I was the brokest. Physical health, I would've ranked it a one. I gained 65 pounds. Just kind of miserable there. Personal growth,

I didn't know what personal growth was. I didn't know that there were cool books and courses and things available to me. My career. I would have you definitely put that as a one because. I had an advertising business that it just wasn't me living my truth. I was doing the things, but I just felt really weird about it because I was promoting companies.

I didn't know if they were good or not trying to get them customers. Just felt really, really weird. And then as far as like love and energy and spirituality and purpose, would've ranked that a one because I was living in fear and not following love. So I don't know if there. If any of you are spiritual out there who might understand that, but I was definitely living my life from the fear side of things.

And then as far as fun goes, well, fun was a one because I had this thing in my head where if you're having fun, you're not like you're not just not supposed to have fun. Like you're supposed to put, and my parents didn't teach me this, but somehow, like we get programmed, right? We get programmed by all kinds of things.

And somehow I thought that, if I'm putting everyone else first, like I'm supposed to, then I'm supposed to be miserable, then that means I'm doing the right thing, and if I'm having fun, well then, I'm doing life on earth, wrong or something. That was like a subconscious thing. It wasn't something I ever would've said back then, but it was definitely a subconscious thing.

And then I would've ranked my home environment a one because of my own misery. I take full responsibility for all that stuff. So then I started my gyms because I was so overweight and couldn't stand myself anymore. I started my gyms and I started it outdoors in the park.  I started with just a little over a hundred dollars and I bought fence posts, buckets of water and I got obsessed, like super duper obsessed.

I wanted join the military and I'm sure you've heard the story. Just to do their bootcamp, and I'm like, I can't do that. Like, I'm just not called into the military.  That's not my calling.  So I ended up starting my own bootcamp's first millions and I was absolutely obsessed with it. So I would've ranked myself at that time, a 10 for purpose and career once I started that, but I was still struggling in all the other areas.

So throughout my life,  even once I got each area of my life, like started to get better and better and better. I still felt like when I fixed one thing,  another would drop and it became this weird subconscious limiting belief of mine that somehow if I had money, something bad would happen to my health or family.

So that's literally, I have a lot of messed up ideas about money that I've been working through, but one of the big ones was that if I had money, something bad would happen to my health and family. I'm reading back through my notes from back in the day, and as of now I forgot that was a limiting belief of mine.

So I have kind of overcome that. So I no longer think that if I get money, I'm gonna have health issues. Although now I have money and now I have a health issue I'm working through, but that's another podcast for another day, and everything's gonna be fine. So the reality that I had built for myself said that I couldn't have at all, and it is crazy how much I have been willing to give up for weird limiting beliefs.

The next couple podcast episodes are going to be about these weird limiting beliefs. And so enter fast forward from 2004 to January, 2022. I had been doing almost two years of meditating, journaling, like being thankful, like feeling into what I wanted, manifesting taking action.

And I could say for the first time, at that time, I could say that I had it all. I was happy in every area of my life. Yes! In the past I would've added like for now, because shouldn't, we be realistic. It's like, no, let's not be realistic. Let's decide we can have it all forever. Right? Forget about being pragmatic or realistic.

If I was being pragmatic or realistic, I would look around for someone else who has done what I'm trying to do to see if I could do it too, but that's ridiculous.  If that's the way I started my life, like tried to live my life, like looking around, "Okay. What is everyone else done?." And then I'll live my life by that.

I never would've started my business because no one else was doing that type of business at that time. I never would've lost weight because I have never met anyone who struggled like I did, who had doctors tell them that it would be really hard for them to lose weight and then actually get the weight off and keep it off.

I'm not gonna be held back by the constraints of what has already been done. I'm gonna keep dreaming. I'm gonna keep putting in the daily work. This is a daily life long work, and it's a fun work. Like once we get to let go of the rules and adopt our own way. And so since, January, well, for the last three years, actually, I've taken a lot of courses.

I've done a lot of different things, learned a lot of different things. Learned a lot about other people's systems. Now I am really, truly deciding that I am going to keep learning. I love learning, but I'm gonna follow my intuition on which part of other people's systems and which parts of other people's advice like fits, like what feels good to me.

And then that's what I'm going to do. And back to our topic about just fixing one part of our life and feeling like another part drops I've been there. I get it I've felt that feeling, but I just want to challenge you to write all your thoughts down that you think about that particular situation. 

Then reframe them, like "What is a better thought?". "What's another thought that you can have?". And what I've been doing is just kind of writing the next chapter of my life. So instead of limiting myself to certain thoughts, I've literally just been writing the next chapter of my life exactly how I want it to be and feeling into that, like feeling those feelings now.

And the thoughts, these thoughts, like even reading from January of 2022.  Right now it's almost August of 2022 I'm not, I don't have those same thoughts. I have shifted and I feel awesome about it. I do have a little slight like health issue that I'm working through. That is gonna be fine. 

And then also, just recently I had, I did have some relationship issues, but I work through things so fast now, like so fast because I've decided to live in my truth and speak my truth and follow my intuition.  It really just helps us get through those things much faster. Before, I would just expect, for parts of my life to be difficult and awful, and then they would be  and now I expect things to be great.

And we're still gonna go through things we're still gonna, we're still gonna have frustrating days in my mastermind. I have a little mastermind for women where we go deeper on everything and I told them, I'm like, "Okay, I had a frustrating day today and I need to share with you how I got through that frustrating day and how I shifted, because we're still gonna have those days." we're still gonna have those things, but it is totally possible to change our beliefs.  

We do that by changing our thoughts, which changes our emotions, which changes our feelings.  Then that changes our identity and our beliefs, and it's totally possible to do it totally possible. 

If you wanna get my emails, go to www.rhinojulie.com, super fun stuff. I would love to email you randomly. Things that I think might help, and I would love to know what limiting beliefs you might have right now, that you might be working through. I think it would be fun to hear from you guys and just see how you're doing and check in. 

Like I said, we're going to be going further on all of these things in upcoming episodes and Rhino Tough.

"You are limitless. Life is a game we get to make up.  Let's play!." My new tagline.

Welcome back to the rhino julie show. Those of you who are on YouTube. Hello. Just know you can also go to Spotify and iTunes if you want to listen in your car or while you're working out or something like that. Today's topic is not about how it's been like a year since I've done a podcast episode. No, it's not about that.

Today is about starting fresh and talking about how in 2004, I started my business, which I have two crossFit boot camp nutrition, personal training gyms. And then I have a ninja warrior gym, and then I have a corporate team building and wellness program. And I have my rhino, Julie mastermind, but I started in 2004 with just over $100, no savings.

I had a few thousand dollars in debt, you know, cuz they give credit cards to people when they start college. And they're like, here's the credit card? And they're like, yeah,  I wanna buy a laptop.  I wanna buy a camera. I had no credit because I had an issue with my social security number. I would go to the banks and try to get credit to start my business.

Cuz people are like, Hey, you need capital in order to start a business. And I'm like, yeah, that sounds smart. Now I'd go to the banks. And they're like, sorry, denied, denied, denied 15 years later. And we can talk about this another time. How one time I borrowed $20,000 from a member because I. Needed to make payroll.

And if all the checks cashed, I would be negative like $24,000 or something. Yeah. Anyways, those were hard times and I had to do 10% interest to the member and four free memberships for him and his band, which I'm very thankful. For him giving us money, but it was just really hard without credit. Okay. And here's what happened in 2004, I bought my first pieces of equipment for my business.

I bought buckets to put water in. I bought cones. I bought a fence post and I went out to the parks. I was also 65 pounds. Overweight, went out to the parks and I set. What I called obstacle courses. Like now we have legit obstacle courses because we have a Ninja Warrior Gym, but back then I did the best I could.

I wore camo. I had a whistle people thought I was really weird. . But I dreamed of building obstacles and playing on them for my exercise. And at this time I was obsessed with my idea. People thought it was dumb because this was before boot camp for fitness. This was before now it's kind of mainstream. You go to a boot camp, you workout, you know what it is back then we'd get calls and people would say, Hey, I have a really bad kid.

I wanna sign them up for your bootcamp. So anyways, 65 pounds overweight wearing camo had my whistle, by the way, I wanted to go to the military just to do their obstacle course. That's how I started this business, but that's a terrible reason to join the military. So I didn't do that. And then I started like my own bootcamp for civilians.

I remember I was so miserable in my body. I was miserable in my relationships. I also had no idea what I was doing. But I was driven by my dream. And 18 years later, I just, a few Sundays ago, I met with Rachel, a photographer from the review journal, and I met with Parker, the awesome manager of my ninja warrior obstacle gym.

And they're doing a story on our rhino ninja gym. And I have conquered my weight loss issues once. And for all, I have built a successful multi-location health and wellness business. We make over a million in revenue between the businesses that I have, but it's not really about that. It's about. Happiness.

like, I love what we do. I love our team. I love our rhinos. People ask me if I have kids. I say, no, but I have 600 rhinos because we call  our gym members rhinos. I'm in love with my relationships. And I have stuff that I want to share about all this. And I will be sharing, like I'm going to be sharing a lot about.

My journey and just how to kind of build yourself up from nothing. And I'll be sharing business things that come to mind, but I share in two different places. So when I share on my podcast and I share on YouTube, like I, I'm very, I'm kind of more methodical about it because I don't like there are some things there's, some people I wanna protect.

There are some. Vulnerable things that I just don't want out there on the interwebs, you know? And so there's gonna be some good stuff. I'm still plenty embarrassing and vulnerable on the interwebs, but I just wanted a safe space to share very personal stuff, personal stuff, about relationships, personal stuff, about building a business personal stuff about.

Getting over the idea that you can't make money, make a lot of money and be a good person. . And I've, I've gotten over that. I mean, I still have some triggers, but just, you know, just, just working on mindset and working on the cool stuff that, that comes to mind. And so what I did is I started a mastermind and it's for women it's for women who wanna learn about manifesting, learn about business, learn about relationships, and even how to be foodies and fit in your jeans.

If you wanna learn about that and. We are a tight bunch already. We have 18 women in the mastermind. I just adore each one of them. And we are going to share deeply. We're gonna play this game of life together. And message me if you want the info. Otherwise I am going to be going when I go live, I usually go live in the mornings on YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook.

So make sure to jump over there. If you want to interact live, I would love to interact with you on those live streams. But I also will be coming on here and doing podcasts and I will also be streaming my podcast on to YouTube. So. We will continue this conversation about how to build yourself up for nothing with no credit, no capital, how to follow a dream, how to be okay with that dream, changing how to manifest the things in your life that you want to manifest, how to.

Just pick yourself up when you feel like the whole world is crashing down around your shoulders. That has happened many, many times to me. And I just really can't wait to share with you about it. And then I can't wait to get in my mastermind. Like this morning, I went in the mastermind. So I'll tell you like how my day goes.

So I wake up, I set my intention for the day I make my coffee. I, I meditate a little bit. I don't meditate very long. It doesn't take me very long to drop into the good feelings. And then I get on my computer and I just start typing stuff, whatever comes to my head. And then some of that goes into a post for the whole wide world.

And then. The more private stuff goes into a post for my mastermind, into a live for my mastermind. And then I went live this morning to the whole wide world. It was super duper fun. I loved it. And I loved interacting with people. And then I went live into my mastermind and holy cow, like the difference between going live to a group of people who want to grow and learn versus going live to Z whole world and all of the.

People and things that come with the whole world, like people who are just like scrolling and don't really care about you at all, then they're like, who's that chick? I don't know.  There's just a big difference. And then I'm gonna be coming on and making my podcasts. And again, If you wanna be in the mastermind, and just be able to really have more support and, you know, just be in on all of this SuperDuper cool private stuff, go to www.rhinojulie.com and you can see that info.

You can also get on my email list as well. If you want at www.Rhinojulie.com, I only send super duper heartfelt emails. And so basically if you want to learn about business manifesting relationships, Any of that good stuff, join me would love to have you otherwise I will be seeing you on the interwebs and it's gonna be fun.

Guys. Life is a game that we make up. Let's play. It's my new tagline. I really, really like it. Subject to change without notice. It's also a Rhino Julie quote. I looked it up and no one else has said it that I could find on the innerweb. So I'm like, yes, my quote. All right. Bye friends.  rhino tough.

I’ll tell you something I quit that has catapulted me into action and daily fun.

And no it’s not sugar. There is nothing wrong with sugar, just like there’s nothing wrong with driving… as long as you stay in your lane and follow some rules meant to keep you healthy and alive.

But I digress.

When I quit this thing, I was able to take more action, get more results in business and on the scale, enjoy my relationship, and foster amazing friendships.

This one thing, if you keep doing it, can consistently make you miserable, sad and anxious.

It’s….

Having expectations.

Of people, of the scale, of our bodies. 

Before you call me crazy and tell me ‘but if I don’t have any expectations, then I’m settling…’ hear me out.

With expectations, you have two outcomes: either you’re happy or you’re sad. 

And when those expectations are placed on other people, on the scale, and on our bodies, we are likely to live our lives constantly being let down.

Instead of expecting anything, ever, stay curious, stay thankful and keep taking action. 

I have 3 doozy examples for you. 

And I fully expect you to disagree with at least 2 of them, but I’m a pretty happy camper and this is how I now live my life. 

And before I was an unhappy camper lol. 

Listen to the episode to hear the examples, let me know if you agree or disagree!

PS: Join me for my next free 5 Day Peppermint Mocha and Holiday Party Weight Loss Challenge where you

Learn the top 3 Secrets to lose weight and keep it off

This episode is a must-listen. Packed with spunky tidbits of empowering info that will make you want to launch into your potential.

If you go to her website, https://vikkilouise.com/, the first words you see are 'F*CK ANXIETY AND GET SH* DONE.' 

She doesn't just preach it, she lives it. 

Vikki is a reformed hustler turned time hacker.

She coaches clients to achieve more in less time, with ease.

She does this by removing time from the success equation.

Her clients stop using time, and start optimizing it.

This leaves them with more time off, more focused time on, and more results.

She also hosts the F*CK Anxiety & Get Sh*t Done podcast