How I Became The New York Times Cover Story

Exactly how you can end the never good enough cycle right now, for real + for-ever. Plus WHY what you've tried before didn't work +  why this will work FOR you. PERIOD. 

Why settle for good enough when you could be empowered? If you want the only tools designed specifically for perfectionists to move beyond never enough,  skills that make you stronger, happier, braver, more resilient and want in-depth personalized support rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies, Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 coaching is for you! Get your stress-free start today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Ep. 210 Timestamps

00:00-Never Good Enough No Matter How Hard You Try
01:19-Am I Good Enough
03:30-Moving Beyond Inadequacy Fallacy
05:12-When is enough is enough
06:07-No Wonder You Feel Not Good Enough
07:11-The Game Is Rigged So You Feel Inadequate
08:20-How Affirmations Erode Self-Trust
09:52-Playing a Better Game: Empowered Perfectionism
10:55-How to Be Present + Relaxed in a Purpose Driven Life

Truth + Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:

• Daniilidou, A. (2023). Understanding the relationship between the multidimensional perfectionism and self-compassion in adults: The effect of age. Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 19(4), 371–386. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.11981
• Pannhausen, S., Klug, K., & Rohrmann, S. (2020). Never good enough: The relation between the impostor phenomenon and multidimensional perfectionism. Current Psychology, 41(2), 888–901. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-020-00613-7
• Sinek, Simon (2020) The Infinite Game. London, England: Portfolio Penguin.

The MOST productive + positive way to quit people-pleasing, ruminating, catastrophizing, overthinking, second guessing yourself, constantly seeking reassurance, answering work emails on vacation, over-apologizing. The real reason WHY you haven’t been able to stop despite knowing harmful side effects. Awesome acronym to identity your own perfectionistic landmines + step-by-step how to get relief that elevates you instead of keeps you stuck spinning out. 

You don't have to white knuckle your perfectionism. And if you feel like you are, I invite you to come coach with me 1-on-1 inside Perfectionism Optimized, where you'll learn how to take charge of your perfectionistic tendencies, which means you'll finally feel as awesome as your life looks and stop trying to control everyone in your orbit. Get your stress-free start today at courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Fear of failure holding you back? Can't stop obsessing over what you should've done better? I'm telling you exactly how to stop being judgmental, drop the fear of failure and always know if you're doing a good job with a way that's more useful, feels better + helps you progress wayyyy faster  Listen to liberate yo self from the cycle of fear and self-consciousness. 

If you’re committed to being stronger, happier, braver, more resilient and want in-depth personalized support rewiring your perfectionism, Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 coaching is for you! Get your stress-free start today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Listen to the full episode to learn:

• How being judgmental is the silent killer of your relationships (esp. with people you love the most)
• Where sneaky judgment is lurking in your own life
• Why you’re stuck + how mistakes are the solution
• EXACTLY how to legit enjoy failure

Ep. 208 Timestamps

00:00-How Judgment Holds Perfectionists Back
02:20-Fear of Failure + Its Dangerous Consequences
03:51-Why Am I So Hard On Myself
05:26-Being Judgmental is a Protection Mechanism
06:33-What Lies Beneath Your Judgment
07:30-From Judging Yourself to Joyful Winning
09:27-Exactly how to drop judgmental
12:22-Trading Contempt for Curiosity + Experimentation
14:42-How To 13x Building Your Resilience
15:53-Rewiring Your Perfectionistic Patterns From The Inside Out

Truth + Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:

• Daniilidou, A. (2023). Understanding the relationship between the multidimensional perfectionism and self-compassion in adults: The effect of age. Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 19(4), 371–386. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.11981
• Hitchcock, P. F., Britton, W. B., Mehta, K. P., & Frank, M. J. (2022). Self-judgment dissected: A computational modeling analysis of self-referential processing and its relationship to trait mindfulness facets and depression symptoms. Cognitive, Affective, & Behavioral Neuroscience, 23(1), 171–189. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-022-01033-9
• Ong, C. W., Lee, E. B., Petersen, J. M., Levin, M. E., & Twohig, M. P. (2021). Is perfectionism always unhealthy? Examining the moderating effects of psychological flexibility and self‐compassion. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 77(11), 2576–2591. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.23187

Uncover how perfectionism impacts your intimate relationships and the No. 1 mistake you're probably making when it comes to resentment, Plus the ONE SKILL that makes you 90% less overwhelmed? It's like having the power to predict and avoid emotional meltdowns – for yourself! 

Ready to rewire? Upgrade resentment for resilience inside Perfectionism Optimized, the only 1-1 private coaching exclusively made for for driven perfectionists + type-A high achievers with perfectionistic tendencies who want to quit fighting against themselves forever. Melt your stress away starting today over at:  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Referenced In the Episode:

• Carrying vs Caring In Relationships (Ep. 202) https://perfectionismrewired.com/episode/lighten-your-load-caring-deeply-without-taking-on-too-much
• How Perfectionistic Brains Work (Ep. 193) https://perfectionismrewired.com/episode/will-save-your-sanity-might-just-change-your-life

Hurry, it’s your last chance to rewire your perfectionistic patterns in an accelerated 6 weeks with just you + CLG inside the Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator Be sure to apply NOW or forever hold your peace! Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator 1.0 is closing + retiring forever on Friday February 16, 2024.  

Tp get in on this spaceship before it blasts off, go to courtneylovegavin.com/accelerator today. 

Are you a high achiever who secretly struggles when things don't go according to plan? A setback occurs and it feels like your world is falling apart? SAME. In this episode, I'm candidly sharing my recent stumbles and how I moved forward without blame, making myself small or beating my self to a pulp. You'll learn what NOT to do when things go awry, how to melt away the ruminating and catasrophizing and what to do with all those feelings inside (it's not AT ALL what you think).

If you're ready to experience the amazingness that comes with being an empowered perfectionist  and want proven, science-backed tools to PLAYFULLY INTERRUPT the perfectionistic habits currently cramping your prolificness, you belong inside the Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/accelerator

Listen to the Full Episode To Learn:

1. What happens when you get a sucky setback surprise and how to empoweringly rise to the occasion.
2. How to move forward without turning into a robot or constantly beating yourself up over what went "wrong"
3. Where all your power is and how to skip the ruminating about the past or catastrophizing about the future
4. Why You want to focus on moving THROUGH your feelings, instead of fixating on what's causing them or why they are there
5. Strategies you can start using today to stop beating yourself up + handle setbacks with expert-level skills

Referenced In the Episode:

• How Perfectionistic Brains Work (Ep. 193) https://perfectionismrewired.com/episode/will-save-your-sanity-might-just-change-your-life

Ep. 206 TimeStamps
00:00-When Everything Goes Wrong Despite Your Best Efforts
02:02-Understanding Why Your Inner Critic Calls
03:20-Accepting Life As A Human = Embracing Adaptability Over Rigid Planning
04:39-Ruminating + Futility of Dwelling on Your Past
05:32-Power of Living in the Present
06:47-The Doritos Analogy: Choosing Better Responses
07:39-Debunking the Cause-and-Effect Fallacy
08:29-Taking Responsibility for Your Choices
09:11-How to Handle Emotions Constructively
10:06-Staying Present to Rise Above Challenges
11:17-Overcoming the Self-Criticism Trap
12:56-Embracing Mistakes and Perfectionist Humanity

Break free from stressy ruminating + overthinking TODAY with this simple method that allows you to slow your mental chatter's roll. Listen as I walk you step-by-step how you can get an accurate read of what's happening inside your head + clear up your perspective so that you can finally feel calm-ish.

If you're ready to change and want proven, science-backed tools to PLAYFULLY INTERRUPT the perfectionistic habits currently cramping your prolificness, you gotta check out the Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/accelerator

Listen to the Full Episode To Hear:

• Why keeping all your thoughts in your head is sneaky self-sabotage
• How  recognizing your body's physical responses to stress, allows you to better manage it.
• A tool that helps the subconscious mind process things that tend to feel like they're stuck in a repetitive thought loo

You're used to being the go-to person, who's always happy to help and yet..why is it so freaking hard for you to ask for support? Discover how perfectionism isn't an excuse, it's an explanation and how to advocate for yourself on this empowering episode.

If you want to have the capacity, courage & certainty to seek support and leverage it, you gotta check out my 1-1 coaching for high-achievers with perfectionistic tendencies Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/accelerator

Listen to the Full Episode To Hear:

• The 2 ways perfectionists accidentally self-sabotage + how to rise above them immediately
• How to deal with internal judgment and awkwardness when you're used to being the person people go to for support
• What to do if you're caught up in "shoulds" and feeling like you're not where you should be

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

• Meeting Yourself Where You Are Not wheere you think you should be (Ep. 187)
• Holding Two Truths At The Same Time (Ep. 143)

EP.204 TIMESTAMPS:

00:00-Perfectionism as Self-Advocacy

01:22-The Awkwardness of Seeking Support

02:08-Learning to Meet Yourself Where You're At

04:33-Identifying Areas You'd Secretly Love Some Support

06:17-Finding Your Path to Rewire Your Perfectionism

Are you tired of white-knuckling it? Ready to move beyond relentless people-pleasing and pretending to be calm? Discover the real reason you're not overcoming perfectionism (it has nothing to do with how hard you’re trying) and how to stop settling for a life of miserable meh as a recovering perfectionist. Perfectionism Leveraged client Whitney courageously shares her story of being tightly wound mom of 3 young girls, addicted to control, teetering on burnout in a prison yard of her own making and magnificently frustrated. Hear how she found the willingness to experiment, let go of control and rewired to become a powerhouse, present parent who's daughters are SO proud of their mom.

If you want to make sure crippling perfectionism NEVER CONTROLS YOU AGAIN and want proven, science-backed tools to PLAYFULLY INTERRUPT the perfectionistic habits currently holding you hostage, you gotta check out the Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator fast-track. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/accelerator

Listen to the Full Episode To Hear:

• Why you want to find a playground for your perfectionism to come alive.
• What Whitney did step-by-step to go from a warning label to become a shining example to her 3 kids through redefining her relationship with perfectionism + reconnecting with play
• Refreshingly practical questions to ask yourself to go from enduring to enjoying your own perfectionistic tendencies

Resources Mentioned:

1. Your Resilience Zone™: Part of proprietary EPIC method combining Embodied neuroscience, Presence somatic, Interoceptive Connection, proven to permanently rewire perfectionism and increase playfulness
2. Perfectionism Leveraged: empowers perfectionists and high-achieving, Type A individuals to take charge of their perfectionistic tendencies and quit fighting against their perfectionism forever using proven neuroscience so you can feel as amazing as your life looks and become the powerhouse you're designed to be.

Episode 203 TIMESTAMPS:

00:00-From Enduring to Enjoying Your Perfectionistic Tendencies

01:48-Overcome Perfectionism Feel Good Way

02:53-The Never-Ending Need for Play

03:18-Neuroscience and Play in Adulthood

04:35-Reconnecting With Your Playful Self

05:41-Steps to Create Your Perfectionism Playground

06:03-Case Study: Whitney's Journey with Perfectionism

07:38-Impact of Perfectionist Parenting on Children

09:15-What Cooking + Rewiring Perfectionism Have in Common

10:58-Seeking Help to Uncover YOUR Perfectionist Playground

11:48-Benefits of the Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator

Sciencey Credible Citations Referenced In This Exciting Episode:

1. ‌‌‌Kiverstein, J., & Miller, M. (2023). Special Issue: Experiencing Well-BeingPlayfulness and the meaningful life: an active inference perspective. Neuroscience of Consciousness, 2023(1). https://doi.org/10.1093/nc/niad024
2. Parkin, S. (2017, January 4). How Video Games Satisfy Basic Human Needs. Retrieved January 28, 2024, from Nautilus website: https://nautil.us/how-video-games-satisfy-basic-human-needs-236347/
3. Siviy, S. M. (2016). A brain motivated to play: insights into the neurobiology of playfulness. Behaviour, 153(6-7), 819–844. https://doi.org/10.1163/1568539x-00003349

You know logically it’s not *your job* to fix everything in your orbit yet the moment anything goes awry, you feel like the outcome is all on your shoulders. Perhaps you say “yes” to practically everything you’re asked to do…but feel kinda resentful later. An overactive sense of responsibility can be a tough habit to unlearn when you CARE deeply + are teetering on the edge of burnout. Learn how to easily distinguish between care-ing and carrying aka overloading yourself. Plus practical tips you can use immediately for ending codependency with kindness and being empathetic + present without getting bogged down by other people's emotions. 

If you’re committed to being stronger, happier, braver, more resilient and want in-depth personalized support rewiring your perfectionism, The Accelerator 1-1 coaching is for you!  Get started today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/accelerator

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• The crucial distinctions between caring for people and carrying their load (codependency)
• How an overactive sense of responsibility impacts your peace, presence and growth
• CLG's journey to letting go control and not taking it all on
• Practical tips you can use (today!) to lighten your load and enhance energy levels

Highly Credible Sources Referenced in This Episode:

1. Bohns, V., Newark, D., & Boothby, E. (2018, October 8). When do We Feel Responsible for Other People’s Behavior and Attitudes? https://www.researchgate.net/publication/327854931_When_do_We_Feel_Responsible_for_Other_People's_Behavior_and_Attitudes
2. Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
3. Sugiura, Y., & Fisak, B. (2019). Inflated Responsibility in Worry and Obsessive Thinking. International Journal of Cognitive Therapy, 12(2), 97–108. https://doi.org/10.1007/s41811-019-00041-x‌
4. Tangney, J. P., Burggraf, S. A., & Wagner, P. E. (1995). Shame-proneness, guilt-proneness, and psychological symptoms. In J. P. Tangney & K. W. Fischer (Eds.), Self-conscious emotions: The psychology of shame, guilt, embarrassment, and pride (pp. 343–367). Guilford Press.
5. Wiltermuth, S. S., & Cohen, T. R. (2014). “I’d only let you down”: Guilt proneness and the avoidance of harmful interdependence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 107(5), 925–942. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0037523