Logo

    How Therapy Improves Your Sex Life

    enAugust 13, 2024
    What are the benefits of therapy for sexual experiences?
    How can therapy help with anxiety and self-compassion?
    Why is learning emotional expression important in therapy?
    What factors should you consider when choosing a therapist?
    How can community resources assist in accessing therapy?

    Podcast Summary

    • Self-understanding and therapyExploring past and present through therapy leads to better self-understanding, coping skills, and healthy boundaries, ultimately enhancing relationships and sexual experiences.

      Exploring your past and present through therapy can lead to a better understanding of yourself and your relationships, ultimately improving your overall well-being and sexual experiences. Therapy can be a liberating experience, helping individuals cope with anxiety, learn self-compassion, and set healthy boundaries. It's important to note that cost should not be a barrier to seeking therapy, as resources are available at various price points. Whether you're considering solo therapy or couples counseling, therapy can provide valuable insights and tools for enhancing your sex life and overall happiness. As one listener shared, therapy has helped them learn to go easy on themselves, cope with anxiety, and set boundaries – all crucial skills for a fulfilling sex life and relationships.

    • Emotional expression and self-careLearning to express and accept emotions, practice self-love and self-care, and seek therapy when needed are crucial components of mental health and can lead to improved relationships and overall well-being.

      Embracing emotions and practicing self-care are crucial components of mental health. We often learn to suppress emotions due to a lack of emotional expression from caregivers, but it's essential to learn to express and accept our feelings. Medication and therapy work hand in hand, and therapy can help us understand and manage emotions by focusing on the body's responses. Additionally, self-love, self-compassion, and self-care are essential parts of mental health, and mental health is just as important as physical health. Learning to pause, change thoughts, and understand that trauma is not our fault are also vital skills. Remember, you're not alone in your struggles, and therapy can provide valuable insights and tools for improving relationships, including the one with ourselves. According to research, therapy can be effective for 70% of couples and is increasingly common among millennials. By practicing the skills learned in therapy, we can improve our relationships and overall well-being.

    • COVID-19 opportunities in therapyCOVID-19 expanded access to therapy, making it more affordable and approachable, but deciding if it's right can be tough. Signs of potential relationship issues include escalating conflict, emotional distance, and trust issues. Individual therapy can help heal childhood wounds and understand family dynamics. Couples therapy can rebuild trust, improve communication, and address old hurts.

      COVID-19 opened up new opportunities for accessible and affordable therapy, making it more approachable for individuals and couples. However, determining if therapy is right for you can be a challenging decision. The Gottman Institute provides several signs of potential relationship issues, including escalating conflict, emotional distance, and trust and commitment issues. Additionally, individual therapy can be beneficial for addressing childhood emotional wounds and understanding the impact of family dynamics. When considering couples therapy, it's important to reflect on communication skills, willingness to change, and commitment to the relationship. Therapy can help rebuild trust after betrayals, improve communication, and address old hurts and resentments. Overall, therapy can provide valuable tools and insights for individuals and couples seeking to improve their relationships and personal growth.

    • Therapy benefitsTherapy offers a safe space for personal growth, strengthens relationships, provides empathy, kindness, and understanding, helps identify past hurts and patterns, and can diagnose and treat mental health conditions.

      Therapy, whether it's solo or couples, is a safe and supportive space for personal growth. The therapist's role is not to take sides but to help strengthen the relationship and provide empathy, kindness, and understanding. Through therapy, individuals can identify and understand past hurts, behaviors, and patterns, leading to self-compassion, improved communication skills, and even a diagnosis and treatment for mental health conditions. Therapy can also focus on specific areas like sex, with a commitment from both partners for success. It's important to remember that therapy is not a confirmation of insanity or a death sentence for relationships, but rather an opportunity for healing and growth.

    • Choosing a therapistConsider cost, convenience, and comfort level when choosing a therapist, try out a few to find the best fit, and explore insurance coverage and community resources for affordability. Weekly sessions recommended for optimal results, with in-person and online options available. Seek help from sex coaches or therapists for intimacy issues.

      Finding the right therapist involves considering cost, convenience, and comfort level, much like choosing a romantic partner. You may need to try out a few therapists to find the best fit. Insurance coverage and community resources can help keep costs down. Convenience includes in-person and online therapy options, with weekly sessions recommended for optimal results. For those who can't afford traditional therapy, books and organizations like Therapy for Black Girls or Therapy for Latinx can provide valuable insights. If you're struggling with intimacy issues and want to unblock your sexuality, consider seeking help from a sex coach or therapist. Resources may be available in your area or online. Remember, therapy is a valuable investment in your mental and emotional well-being.

    • Sexual Trauma and TherapySeeking therapy can help individuals dealing with sexual trauma, anxiety around sex, or dissatisfaction in their sexual relationships understand past experiences, connect with their bodies, and develop healthier sexual relationships.

      Seeking therapy can be beneficial for individuals dealing with sexual trauma, anxiety around sex, or dissatisfaction in their sexual relationships. Trauma, regardless of when it occurred, can impact one's ability to have a healthy and fulfilling sex life. Anxiety and guilt can manifest in various ways, such as difficulty connecting with one's body or excessive use of pornography. In these cases, talk therapy and possibly working with a sex therapist can help individuals understand their past experiences, learn to connect with their bodies, and develop healthier sexual relationships. It's essential to remember that everyone's experiences and needs are unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. However, therapy can provide valuable tools and insights to help individuals overcome their challenges and build stronger, more satisfying relationships.

    • Intimacy challenges in long-term relationshipsTransactional approach to sex and trust issues can hinder intimacy in long-term relationships. Therapy can help rebuild trust and teach effective communication skills to strengthen the sexual relationship.

      The couple in question may be experiencing challenges in their intimate relationship due to a lack of emotional depth and a more transactional approach to sex. The husband may not have had much experience with long-term, intimate relationships and may see sex as something to be consumed rather than shared. Trust issues may also be a significant barrier to intimacy. However, therapy can provide a safe space for both partners to work on these issues, rebuild trust, and learn to communicate effectively about their desires and needs. It's important to remember that people can change and grow, and the couple has the opportunity to start anew and build a stronger, more fulfilling sexual relationship.

    Recent Episodes from Sex With Emily

    How To Ask For What You Want

    How To Ask For What You Want
    So your partner is great… but you want them to bring the heat, and don’t know how to ask for it. Now what? On today’s episode, I answer calls about how to ask for exactly what you want, or conversely, don’t want. I also give advice about how to achieve orgasm without relying too heavily on porn or toys, what to do if your partner’s penis is too big for anal, what to do if YOU like giving oral but your partner isn’t as down to receive, and how to enjoy casual dating. In this episode you’ll learn: How past negative experiences can impact your current reactions to physical affection, and discover strategies to rebuild a positive relationship with touch. Understand the importance of transparent dialogue with your partner about your needs and boundaries, and how to approach these conversations constructively. Explore the challenges of casual dating and the significance of self-awareness in identifying what type of relationship dynamic suits you best. Show Notes: Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Yes! No! Maybe? List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.  SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website  Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube Let’s text: Sign up here Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com (link to specific show notes in WordPress)
    Sex With Emily
    enSeptember 13, 2024

    The Pleasure Gap with Our CEO Amy Friedlander

    The Pleasure Gap with Our CEO Amy Friedlander
    Hey, pleasure seekers! I'm super excited about today's episode. I always encourage you to discuss sex with your friends, so I've invited Amy Friedlander, my CEO and brilliant friend, to join this conversation. We're both fed up with the pleasure gap, a topic The New York Times highlighted in a recent article, "The Orgasm Gap Isn’t Going Away for Straight Women." Today, Amy and I are actively seeking ways to bridge this gap. We're sharing our sexual histories, addressing the pitfalls of faking orgasms, and talking about negative sex-pectations set by porn and extreme media portrayals. We're talking about methods to prioritize pleasure and close the orgasm gap. Tune in to be part of this change and close the gap with us! You deserve a richer, more fulfilling sex life. We're sharing our sexual histories, addressing the pitfalls of faking orgasms, and talking about negative sex-pectations set by porn and extreme media portrayals. Together, we're talking about methods to prioritize pleasure and close the orgasm gap. Tune in to be part of this change and close the gap with us! You deserve a richer, more fulfilling sex life. In this episode, you'll learn: Why the Orgasm Gap Persists: We'll unpack how inadequate sex education continues to widen this divide. The Dangers of Faking It: Discover why being authentic in expressing your sexual needs is essential for true pleasure. The Role of Media: We'll debunk harmful myths and foster a healthier dialogue around sex. Also, don't miss our discussions on whether sleeping apart can enhance your sex life and how Kegel trainers can lead to more intense orgasms. Tune into these articles: Does Sleeping Apart Help Your Sex Life? Kegel Trainers for Bigger, Badder Orgasms   Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at https://www.paired.com/SWE 💖 SMARTSX ANNOUNCEMENT 💖 Today, September 10th, 2024, we're thrilled to launch SmartSx, our membership platform where pleasure meets education. Join our community to transform your intimate life, whether you're deepening connections or exploring new kinks. SmartSx is your gateway to all things sexy and insightful. Embrace your pleasure potential with an open heart and mind. As a member, you'll embark on a journey to discover your unique desire style and boost your Sex IQ. You’ll also gain tools for a healthier sex life through engaging discussions, expert guests, and direct interactions with me. Each month will feature themes based on my 12 Universal Truths About Sex and Pleasure, starting with 'Sexual Connection is a Skill Set.' CLICK HERE TO JOIN
    Sex With Emily
    enSeptember 10, 2024

    Astrological Desire Styles: Talking Pleasure with The AstroTwins

    Astrological Desire Styles: Talking Pleasure with The AstroTwins
    In this episode, Dr. Emily welcomes her friend and fellow Michigan native, Ophira from The AstroTwins, to discuss their new book, The Astrology Advantage, and their revolutionary I*AM system. This unique system or framework blends astrology with the Enneagram and Meyers Briggs to unlock insights into your personality-- your buttons, skills, passions, and life path. As a bonus, Ophi reads Emily's chart, revealing how the I*AM system shapes her career, sex, desire, and goals. They explore the Authority, Innovator, and Maven archetypes, offering a fresh perspective on understanding yourself through astrology. Tune in to learn how astrology influences desire and sexuality and how to align with your authentic sexual self. Get your copy of The Astrology Advantage to dig deeper into your I*AM archetype! Ophi describes the I*AM System as “an astrological personality test” and “Atomic Habits meets The Wisdom of The Enneagram.” You need this book! I could not put it down. Purchase: The Astrology Advantage More about The AstroTwins What You'll Learn: The I*AM System Explained: Discover how the Authority, Innovator, and Maven archetypes correlate with the 13 planets in astrology and your chart. Astrology Meets Enneagram: Learn how each IAM archetype connects with the 12 zodiac signs, offering a new lens to understand your personality, desires, and behavior. Sex, Shame, and Kink: Understand how your I*AM archetype influences your sexual expression and how to overcome shame or embrace kink through astrological insights. Body Confidence and Sexual Fulfillment: Explore how aligning with your archetype helps you feel more comfortable in your body as you pursue pleasure and intimacy. Sexual Authenticity: Learn how your sexual style—whether you're an Innovator, Authority, or Maven—affects how you engage with partners and express desire authentically. Also, SmartSx, my new membership, launches on September 10th. Please join me and this incredible community of open-minded pleasure-seekers! Here's a sneak peak of what you'll experience when you sign up: SmartSX is a community and app for individuals prioritizing pleasure and sexual well-being, helping members explore desires and create a fulfilling sex life. Great lovers are made, not born: Anyone can learn how to have the best sexual experiences of their lives. SmartSX members can directly interact with her and ask questions in the community. Inclusive membership: SmartSX caters to everyone—whether you're a beginner or experienced, single or partnered—focusing on understanding, giving, and receiving pleasure. Members will uncover their unique desire style, increase their Sex IQ, enhance sexual communication, and gain essential tools for a healthy sex life through discussions, special guests, and experts. Each month features a theme based on Dr. Emily's 12 Universal Truths About Sex and Pleasure, starting with Sexual Connection is a Skill Set. GET ON THE WAITLIST: CLICK HERE
    Sex With Emily
    enSeptember 06, 2024

    Healthy Dating Habits

    Healthy Dating Habits
    Do you always have sex on the the first date? Do you always swipe right on people who aren’t good for you? What are your bad dating habits – and how can you break them? I asked you to tell me what negative dating patterns you’re trying to change, and you all delivered! On today’s show, I’m addressing your top dating problems so we can solve them together. Having sex too soon, trying to “fix” less-than-ideal partners, fear of asserting yourself, having misaligned expectations, the tendency to audition people for the role of life partner – we’re covering it all, so you can feel empowered with new partners and have an amazing time with existing partners. In this episode you’ll learn: How to Identify and Break Negative Dating Patterns The Importance of Assertiveness in Dating Strategies for Building Self-Confidence in Dating Show Notes: Join the Waitlist for my SmartSX Membership Community: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Yes! No! Maybe? Guide SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) Shopify.com/swe The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Sex With Emily: Home Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok  Let’s text: Sign Up Here Want me to slide into your inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com/live.
    Sex With Emily
    enSeptember 03, 2024

    Behind Closed Doors: A Peek into Sex Parties

    Behind Closed Doors: A Peek into Sex Parties
    Let's explore the world of sex parties! Are you curious if this scene is for you? This episode is your go-to guide for everything about sex parties. We'll cover the various types available, from kink-centric gatherings to more relaxed swinging events. I'll guide you through finding these parties, understanding the etiquette, and what to expect when you arrive. We'll discuss how to mingle effectively and, importantly, what to wear to blend in or stand out. So join me at this podcast, Sex Party!  Don't forget to join the waitlist for SmartSX, which launches on September 10th, 2024. This incredible membership will offer you access to exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Smart SX: join our waitlist!  FetLife Feeld #Open Kinky Rabbit Club Just Thrive (code BOGOSWE) Shop With Emily! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Sex With Emily: Home Read this week's Articles: How to Have Vigorous Sex | How to *Actually* Dirty Talk Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok  Let’s text: Sign Up Here Want me to slide into your inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.
    Sex With Emily
    enAugust 30, 2024

    Top Sex Questions in 2024: Answered!

    Top Sex Questions in 2024: Answered!
    In today's episode, we’re diving into the questions you've been too shy to ask out loud—yes, those. Remember, shame has no place here, especially when it comes to your sexual curiosities and concerns. We’re all in this together, exploring the complex yet exhilarating world of sex, so let’s break down those barriers and talk openly. In this episode you’ll learn:  How do I handle rejections for sex from my partner when they masturbate daily? If their “porn” type looks different than my body type, does that mean they may not be attracted to me? Is it normal to think about someone else during sex? How do I get my partner to understand I’m not a porn star…Yes, I’ll try things, but…I’m not that kinky. I’ve never squirted. Is that normal? How can I get myself to squirt? Can too much use of a vibrator desensitize or burn my clitoris?  How can I get a clitoris orgasm by mouth without it taking hours? I don’t like to masturbate in front of my partner because it's hard for me to focus. Is something wrong with me? Show Notes: Join the Waitlist for my SmartSX Membership Community: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Yes! No! Maybe? Guide SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) Shop VIIA Today and use code "EMILY" at checkout for 15% off your order The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Sex With Emily: Home Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok  Let’s text: Sign Up Here Want me to slide into your inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com/live.
    Sex With Emily
    enAugust 27, 2024

    5 Sex Myths We All Believe

    5 Sex Myths We All Believe
    Let’s be honest: there are certain myths about sex that are SO common, they seem like truth. Things like: what it means to be wet, what it means to be hard, and what it means if you use a vibrator a lot. But guess what? A ton of the things you and I have both heard about sex aren’t based on science - they’ve just been repeated a lot. So on today’s show, I’m debunking the top sex myths I see and hear, and giving you the actual facts.  What does it mean about your sexual ability if you’ve had a lot of partners - or conversely, hardly any? We talk about it. How about if you’re not getting wet during sex. Does that mean you’re not turned on? We discuss! Let’s say you use a vibrator a lot - can you get addicted to it? Or my favorite: does having an orgasm mean the sex was good? I tackle both of these. And finally, we face the truth about anal sex, because spoiler alert...it’s not just for gay men. In this episode you’ll learn:  About the wide range of orgasms people can experience and why each is unique. Why libido levels vary between individuals and how this impacts sexual relationships. How pornography can shape unrealistic expectations and affect real-life sexual experiences. Show Notes: Join the Waitlist for my SmartSX Membership Community: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Yes! No! Maybe? Guide SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want to try Promescent's Delay Spray or Arousal Gel? Visit Promescent.com/emily for 15% off your order! Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at https://www.paired.com/SWE  Want more? Sex With Emily: Home Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok  Let’s text: Sign Up Here Want me to slide into your inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com/live.
    Sex With Emily
    enAugust 23, 2024

    Best Of: Kink & Casual Sex w/ Justin Lehmiller

    Best Of: Kink & Casual Sex w/ Justin Lehmiller
    Are you suddenly feeling a little...kinkier? According to my guest, social psychologist, and Kinsey Institute researcher Justin Lehmiller, a lot of us are ready to sex-periment right now. Justin shares fascinating sex research from the COVID era, the sex communication practices heterosexual individuals can learn from the LGBTQ+ community, and how to make casual sex better for women. (Spoiler alert: emphasize her pleasure.) We also unpack the Kinsey Scale and why sexuality is so freaking fluid, why threesomes are such a popular fantasy, and what our porn preferences reveal (and don’t reveal) about us. Finally, we talk about sex education as it’s practiced in The Netherlands, and give you some incredibly useful tools for talking to your kids about sex (because it’s really important!). In this episode, you’ll learn: How to Improve Casual Sex Insights from the LGBTQ+ Community Tools for talking to your kids about sex Show Notes: More Justin Lehmiller : Website | Instagram | X Yes! No! Maybe? Guide Try the ENIGMA™ Cruise Today! (Use code "SEXWITHEMILY" for 25% off your order, exclusions may apply.) SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Sex With Emily: Home Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok  Let’s text: Sign Up Here Want me to slide into your inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com.
    Sex With Emily
    enAugust 20, 2024

    Sex, Love & Astrology

    Sex, Love & Astrology
    On today’s show, I’m joined by psychological astrologer and returning guest Dr. Jennifer Freed. We answer your questions on how to spot a sensual lover, useful tools for addressing low libido, how to pursue a threesome or open relationship, how to easily create intimacy in a relationship, what your Zodiac signs say (or don’t say) about compatibility with your partner, what to do if your hookup buddy wants a relationship (but you don’t), and the mind-blowing effects of EMDR therapy. We also share our top methods to build erotic tension and why focusing too much on your partner’s desire can hold you back in the bedroom. As an added bonus, we walk through ways to reach your ‘power yes’ in sex, the effects of toxic masculinity, and how to communicate as an invitation—not a confrontation. In this episode, you’ll learn: How to identify and attract a sensual lover through astrology and self-awareness. Tools and techniques to address low libido and build erotic tension in your relationship. Practical advice on navigating open relationships, threesomes, and understanding compatibility through Zodiac signs. Show Notes: More Dr. Jennifer Freed: Website | Instagram Yes! No! Maybe? Guide EMDRIA.org: Resources for EMDR therapy SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Sex With Emily: Home Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok  Let’s text: Sign Up Here Want me to slide into your inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com.
    Sex With Emily
    enAugust 16, 2024

    How Therapy Improves Your Sex Life

    How Therapy Improves Your Sex Life
    Just like going to the gym improves your body, going to therapy improves your mind. And bonus: couple’s counseling can radically improve your relationship and your sex life. So why do some people absolutely refuse to go? On today’s show, I’m giving you the therapy low-down, so you can decide whether you should try it – or, if it’s the right call for you and your partner. I’m talking: signs it’s time to look for a therapist, pros and cons of solo therapy vs. couple’s counseling, whether sex therapy is right for you, what to expect from a typical therapy session, and how to find therapy that works for you – including budget-friendly options. Plus, I take your therapy-related questions on porn addiction, sexual trauma and what to do if you tried to improve your sex life with your partner…but they cheated anyway. In this episode, you’ll learn: The Importance of Addressing Sexual Trauma The Power of Open Communication in Relationships Seeking Professional Help is a Sign of Strength Show Notes: Yes! No! Maybe? Guide SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Sex With Emily: Home Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok  Let’s text: Sign Up Here Want me to slide into your inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com.
    Sex With Emily
    enAugust 13, 2024