How to Build Habits with Charles Duhigg

Key takeaway from this conversation with Charles Duhigg is the powerful ability humans have to change their habits and improve productivity. Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author, shared his personal motivation to write about this topic and the impact it had on him. He emphasized the importance of understanding that any behavior can be changed, drawing from both scientific research and personal stories. The Power of Habit, one of Duhigg's bestselling books, highlights numerous examples of people overcoming various challenges, from addiction to anger management. By recognizing and believing in this capacity for change, individuals can make significant improvements in their lives and take control of their own destinies.

Habits are not just automatic behaviors, but rather they consist of a three-part loop: a cue, a routine, and a reward. Understanding this structure is key to changing or building new habits. The first step is recognizing the cues and rewards in your own life, as this gives you the power to substitute old habits with new ones that provide similar rewards. It's important to note that trying to extinguish a habit without replacing it with a new one is difficult, as your brain relies on the reward. To effectively change a habit, identify a cue, such as a time of day or a place, and create a routine that is as convenient as possible. This will increase the likelihood of the new habit sticking. Remember, habits are not mysterious, but rather follow basic rules of human behavior. By understanding these rules, you can gain control over your habits.

Creating a system of cues, routines, and rewards can help make desirable behaviors, such as exercising or practicing mindfulness, more habitual and easier to maintain over time. This approach, known as "habit stacking," involves setting up specific triggers to initiate the behavior and providing rewards to reinforce it. It's important to remember that the rewards should not be something that creates cognitive dissonance, like a bag of cookies after a workout, but rather something that supports the behavior, like a smoothie or a shower. Over time, the brain learns to associate the behavior with the reward, making it easier to repeat. This approach can be applied to both external behaviors, like going to the gym, and internal behaviors, like practicing mindfulness or being more mindful towards others. While not all behaviors are habits, many emotional changes are related to habits, and this systemic approach can be effective in bringing about both external and internal change.

Most of our daily behaviors are habits, and many of these habits are mental in nature. Over time, the rewards we receive from these habits can shift from external to internal. For example, someone who is excessively self-critical may find internal rewards in the avoidance of making mistakes or the comfort of engaging in a familiar behavior. To help someone reduce self-criticism, it's essential to identify the specific reward the behavior is providing. This could be done through self-reflection or experimental methods. By understanding the reward, one can work on finding alternative ways to achieve it that do not involve self-criticism. This approach can be applied to various internal behaviors that cause suffering, and it's essential to remember that the rewards driving these behaviors can vary from person to person.

Our behaviors, whether self-directed or externally influenced, can become repetitive processes that continue even when the initial reward is no longer present. For instance, someone who grew up in a critical environment and developed self-criticism to avoid external criticism may still engage in self-criticism decades later, even when it's no longer necessary. To change such habits and become more self-accepting and compassionate, it's essential not to try and extinguish the behavior entirely, as a vacuum will only lead to the emergence of another behavior. Instead, it's recommended to find a positive alternative behavior to replace the old habit. This approach, known as simplified habit reversal therapy, encourages experimenting with new behaviors instead of simply trying to eliminate old ones. By doing so, individuals can learn that they don't have to be self-critical and that the world won't end if they don't engage in the old behavior. This experimental mindset is crucial because it encourages finding alternative behaviors and accepts that not all experiments will be successful.

There are valuable resources available to help navigate life's challenges, whether it be through therapeutic podcasts like the Doctor John DeLaney Show or informative health and wellness platforms like OneSkin and the ZOE Science and Nutrition podcast. Doctor John's show offers practical advice to real people dealing with various life situations, while OneSkin simplifies skincare with scientifically validated solutions. The ZOE Science and Nutrition podcast, on the other hand, separates fact from fiction when it comes to physical health. These resources provide valuable insights and tools to improve overall well-being and quality of life. Additionally, a thought-provoking article by the New York Times Magazine, "Wealthy, Successful, and Miserable," highlights the potential downside of constantly striving for "smarter, faster, better" and the importance of considering emotional well-being alongside professional success.

While being productive and successful in the business world can bring financial gains, it does not always lead to happiness and fulfillment. People who find satisfaction in their work are often those who are passionate about what they do, beyond just the financial compensation. Passion can be found in various industries and roles, and it's essential to identify what truly interests us. Additionally, being surrounded by people we enjoy and respect, and working in an environment that surprises and inspires us, significantly contributes to our overall sense of fulfillment. While it may be challenging to pursue a career solely based on passion, it's crucial to find elements of surprise and enjoyment within our chosen field. Ultimately, feeling effective in the pursuit of personally important goals is necessary for well-being, but it's not sufficient. Passion and enjoyment are equally important components of a fulfilling work life.

Personal effectiveness and long-term well-being in a job go beyond just being personally effective. According to Google's Project Aristotle study, teams that work well have five key elements. One of them is meaning, or believing that the work is important to others. Another is impact, or feeling that the work will make a difference. Additionally, structure and clarity, dependability, and psychological safety are essential. These factors increase the likelihood of having a meaningful job. Going back to my own experiences, I would tell my younger self to take more risks, even slow ones, and not feel pressured to be a success early. These lessons have been crucial in my personal and professional growth. The interconnectedness of improving habits internally and the external impact on our environment and relationships creates an upward spiral towards well-being.

Success often comes after spending a significant amount of time in a state of "unsuccess." Charles Duhigg emphasizes the importance of taking risks, even slow ones, and assuming that the best-case scenario will eventually come true. However, it's crucial to remember that success comes with its own challenges and requires ongoing effort. When faced with decisions, assuming success is the goal, but also acknowledging the costs that come with it, can lead to better choices. By sharing his personal experiences in journalism and politics, Duhigg illustrates that even after achieving success, the hard work continues. Therefore, the key takeaway is to maintain a growth mindset, embrace the journey towards success, and understand that the effort required doesn't end once the goal is reached.

Building new good habits is most effective when we use positive self-reinforcement, rather than self-criticism, as a reward. Self-criticism can actually hinder the process of forming new habits and should be replaced with positive rewards, even for small changes. This concept applies to both external habits, like working out or maintaining a consistent sleep cycle, and internal habits, like being kinder to oneself and others. Charles Duhigg, a renowned journalist and author, emphasized this idea during a podcast conversation with Rick. He also shared insights on the differences between successful and unfulfilled individuals in the business world, suggesting that those who are fulfilled find meaning and satisfaction beyond just productivity and effectiveness. To learn more from Charles, check out his podcast "How to with Charles Duhigg." If you've enjoyed this podcast, please consider supporting us by subscribing, leaving a rating, and a positive review on your preferred platform. Additionally, you can learn more about our new Patreon account by following the link in the description or visiting patreon.com/beingwellpodcast. Thank you for listening!