How to Have the Intimacy You Always Wanted in Your Marriage

Bad things happen even to good people. What happens in a person when they experience trauma or ongoing hardship? There's been a lot of talk in the last few years about trauma-informed care, PTSD, and such. How does all that integrate with faith in God and one's Christian experience?

Dr. Shannae Anderson, licensed clinical psychologist, has been working in this field for over 25 years. She talks with Dr. Carol on this episode about integrating psychological trauma-informed care with the Holy Spirit's presence and work in a person's heart to bring healing, growth, meaning, and resilience. They talk about sexual trauma in particular, and also the role of the body of Christ in healing for people so affected.

Find out more about Dr. Shannae Anderson on her website.

Read Dr. Carol's article How to Experience God in Your Past Trauma
Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships
And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com.
Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential message here.

Culture has made many people believe you must have a happy sex life in order to be whole and fulfilled in life. The church has "Christianized" that idea, leading many to believe you are entitled to sex, especially if you're married. But countless Christian married people are finding that doesn't work out well.

Author, husband, podcaster, and pastor Noah Filipiak talks with Dr. Carol on this episode about how feeling entitled to sex almost destroyed his marriage, and what he believes now. They talk about the belief some have that sex is the "prize" for getting married God's way, 1 Corinthians 7, handling one's sex drive in a God-honoring and spouse-honoring way, and more.

Find Noah Filipiak on his website, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.
Check out the Beyond the Battle community Noah facilitates.
Read Noah's book Beyond the Battle: A Man's Guide to His Identity in Christ in an Oversexualized World
Noah's sermon based on 1 Corinthians 7

Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships
And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com.
Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential message here.

How are you attempting to fill the empty places in your heart? If it's with sex, how's that working for you? And when it hasn't gone well, how do you find grace for your messy story?

On this episode Dr. Carol talks with Matt and Laurie Krieg. Matt's a licensed therapist. Laurie is president of Impossible Ministries. Together they help people deal with issues around sexuality and marriage, including LGBTQ+ issues, in God-honoring ways. Here they share how they are living out grace in their own messy stories, and what it's been like to help other people do the same.

Find Laurie Krieg on her website, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram
Find Matt Krieg on his counseling page or Instagram
Find their book An Impossible Marriage: What Our Mixed-Orientation Marriage Has Taught Us About Love and the Gospel     

Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships
And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com.

The illusion that intimacy in marriage just "happens" may not even last as long as the wedding cake. Maybe the intimate connection between you was good but became broken, or maybe you've never had that strong of a connection. What are the practical steps for those who want more from their relationship to actually build true intimacy that lasts?

Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith had to wrestle with that question in their own marriage. On this episode they talk with Dr. Carol about not only their story, but the practical framework they've developed to help couples at every stage of their relationship build (or improve) the foundation of safety, develop trust, and enjoy a deeper intimacy than they thought possible.

Connect with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith on their website or Instagram.
Find their book Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection That Stands the Test of Time

Find out more about Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships.
Check out Dr. Carol's article What God Designed Intimacy in Marriage to be Like

Don't forget to mark your calendar for next Tuesday, February 13, 8pm eastern/7pm central for our YouTube LIVE book launch party! 

Tragically there are too many times when a spiritual leader uses their spiritual authority to perpetrate sexual harm and abuse on individuals under their care. The harm such victims experience is deep and long-lasting. And when these individuals seek help, the church's response has too often only added to their pain.

In this sobering but enlightening episode Dr. Carol talks with Christian lawyer Boz Tchividjian about clergy sexual abuse in the Protestant church - a cause he has devoted a good share of his career to. Boz has worked for decades on behalf of those who have experienced sexual abuse, assault, and harrassment, and brings both courage and grace to this important conversation.

Find out more about Boz Tchividjian's work on his website.
If you have been harmed sexually in a religious context, please check out Restored Voices Collective.

Check out Dr. Carol's article When You've Been Harmed in the Name of God
Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential comment here. 

Young people today are growing up in a very different world than adults did even a decade or two ago. For parents, teachers, pastors, and others who care about kids, it feels challenging to connect with them and help them become who they were created to be. Giving them facts doesn't nurture the creativity or leadership they need to develop. But what does?

Dr. Tim Elmore, author, speaker, and founder of the Growing Leaders organization, joins Dr. Carol on this episode to talk about how adults can nurture kids to become creative and develop leadership in the way God has gifted them. Stories of other kids are an encouraging and powerful way to do this.

Connect with Dr. Elmore on his website, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.
Find all the resources around his latest book I Can't Wait: 52 Stories of Kids who Changed Their World, or get it on Amazon.

Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential comment here. 

Do you find yourself struggling with people pleasing, unhealthy relationships, avoiding conflict, or trouble setting boundaries? Have you lost yourself along the way of trying to love those closest to you? Perhaps you're suffering and struggle to understand why.

On this episode Dr. Carol talks with Courtney Burg about the family-of-origin dynamics that may set you up for codependency and ongoing dysfunction. And then you'll hear how to overcome your fear of setting boundaries, and what that looks like for a follower of Jesus. You can learn to love in ways that are wise and life-giving.

Connect with Courtney Burg on her website, Facebook, or Instagram.
Find Courtney's book Loyal to a Fault: How to Establish New Patterns When Loving Others Has Left You Hurting

Check out Dr. Carol's article How to Find Your People When You Need Help
Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave her a confidential message here. 

Does trying to get your children to obey leave you frustrated and upset? And does it seem that if you clamp down harder, your kids only resist more? What if there were a way to help your kids want to "be good," know how to do that, and actually demonstrate a healthy godly character even when you're not watching?

Dr. Kathy Koch from Celebrate Kids joins Dr. Carol on this episode to help you learn how to Parent Differently. She offers practical, relatable, and spiritually-related insights and strategies that focus on guiding and growing your kids so they develop character from the inside out to become who God created them to be.

Connect with Dr. Kathy Koch on her website, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.
Find Dr. Koch's book Parent Differently: Raise Kids with Biblical Character That Changes Culture 

You may want to check out - and preorder - Dr. Carol's upcoming book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships
Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. Leave her a confidential message here.