DESCRIPTION
In today’s episode you will hear why we say we’ll do something but don’t follow through. You’ll also understand why it’s so hard to start good habits and stop bad ones. Here are some of the awesome things you will hear in this episode:
- Find out the key components to grow wealth, creating deep bonds and true freedom.
- Find out the ONE thing separating the successful from the ultra successful.
- And see how Satori coached a famous actress to build her legacy.
So listen here to find out how Satori successfully coaches the best to achieve their most important targets and how you can do the same.
--Transcript--
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why don’t I do what I say I’m going to do? Why don’t I have the money saved that I want? Why don’t I lose weight, stop overdrinking or grow my business? Why do I say something is important but still don’t seem to make time for it? The answers to these questions can be found in this episode.
What’s up everyone, this is Satori Mateu, welcome to a new episode of Halfass to Badass.
I’m in a conversation with a highly successful woman and to give you an interesting perspective on today’s topic she says,
“I don’t know why, but we’re always struggling to build up a nest egg. We have nothing to show for all the hard work we put in.”
She’s a famous actress. The defeat in her voice is unquestionable. She tries to hide it with a nervous smile, but her uncomfortable shifts in her chair gives it away. Her eyes are red, the sparkle is gone. The vibrant and confident look she had on the cover of Vogue a few months earlier is not there.
We’re sitting in her spectacular backyard with perfect palm trees and ocean views, the sun is shining, not a single cloud, and you can smell the ocean by the light breeze.
“How long have you’ve been acting?”
“Both my husband and I have been acting for more than twenty years, and we’ve made millions of dollars. Still, at the end of each year, there’s nothing extra.”
“You have a beautiful home. Amazing kids. You live in a wealthy neighborhood. You have nice cars. You travel anywhere you want to go.
You’re invited to all the Hollywood parties and red-carpet events. You have access to the best financial advisors. What do you feel is missing?”
“We’re just living, with no real direction.”
Their three kids go to the best private school. Her and her husband are both actively working actors, they live in a beautiful mansion in Malibu, California. They’re healthy and have everything one could possibly ask for, right?
WRONG!
If you don’t have what we’re about to talk about, you will never know if you’re failing or succeeding.
After listening to her whole story and seeing what is going on, I look at her, and tell her very directly, “You have no clear standards.”
She’s like, “Why is that?” I just love it when people are courageous enough to be vulnerable. When they trust and let their guard down. That’s when I can help fast. She leans forward, tilts her head to the side, lifts her left eyebrow, curious about what about to say next.... She really wants to change not only her family’s financial future but she is wondering how she can be the role model she wants to be for her kids and leave her legacy.
“Let’s start by looking at you and your husband and some of the roles you’ve both said yes to. Can you start to see a problem here?
There’s no real standard. You’re taking jobs you really don’t want. He lets people run all over him. He keeps saying yes—even though he means no, afraid he will lose his job—becomes a victim, and it impacts your finances and your family. The same goes for you. Fear is running the show, rather than a clear vision and standard for what you both want. You’re settling for what is available. Is this making sense?”
“Yes, totally.” She starts breathing. Somebody is finally understanding her. She’s smiling, the corner of her mouth wrinkles and she’s starting bounce a bit up and down.
“I feel I’m saying yes to certain movies because I know it will pay our bills, but it’s not necessarily what I want. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the work I get…”
“Yes, but it’s not your standard,” I interrupt her. “It’s fear driven—not standard driven. Are you with me? As long as you make your decisions from a place of worry; that you’re not going to get another role or that you’re not going to cover your monthly expenses, that you’re not going to keep your kids in private school, you’re always living in reaction. Can you imagine for a moment how life would be different if you had a standard for the roles you went after, the ones you said yes to…and you had an amount of money (a minimum standard) you didn’t allow your bank account to drop below?”
“That would be amazing. That would remove the anxiety I feel when I go into a new project I don’t love—for months—and I think I would be happier all around. I would be a better mom and wife, for sure.” She starts to light up, her frustration and defeat is clearing.
We have a very productive conversation that leaves her with a clear, concrete, and measurable set of standards to secure her finances and family dreams.
Why am I sharing this story with you? Because…
The truth is, when we don’t set a standard for what we demand for ourselves and our environment, we won’t get it. We just won’t. You’ve got to decide the amount you want in your bank account. What’s your minimum standard? Now go do the work necessary to fill your bank account to that level. You say, “This is my standard, this is my bottom line and it can’t go beneath that. I’m going to work my ass off to get above that and never again let it go below. Ever.”
It’s not up to the environment. It’s up to you.
What would your life be like if you NEVER had to question yourself ever again? If you knew, what you said and promised yourself was going to happen, for sure? If you want to trust yourself then you definitely want to pay close attention to this episode without interruptions.
I want you to picture the results you’re committed to, the life you want, and your commitment to a Badass life.
And you have to define what a badass life means to you, right? Does that mean being more present in conversation? Not being a slave to your phone? Being more intentional of how you take care of your health, your sleep, eating habits, spending habits? Is it about minimizing stress, overwhelm and distractions, what is it to you?
Here’s why. I have no idea what you feed your mind with; what you think about, listen to, read, or watch. I don’t know what you practice on a daily basis. You see, you have 168 hours per week. Those 168 hours per week include sleeping and everything. That’s 8,760 hours per year.
I only have limited time with you, and my job is to find ways to influence and persuade you—to help you dominate your mind—so you can think and create the kind of habits that guarantee you success and it serves you.
Think about the number of hours you’ve already spent in your life doing things where you’re not dominating your thinking, not dominating how you feel, where you’re not dominating the actions, the decisions, and your daily behaviors.
I want you to understand, for me to be able to rewire your conditioning—to help you unlearn the things not serving you, what’s slowing you down, making you unproductive, lacking energy, and making unprofitable—you really need to get clear about the standard you hold for yourself.
Your ability to influence and impact your direction consistently, to consistently make more money, own your wealth, be more productive, have an incredible life—where you embrace all of you—without apologies, is not something we leave to chance, right?
We don’t leave it to a maybe. “If I’m lucky” or, “I wonder what’s going to happen today, or next week.”
When you’re sowing and you’re sowing daily, you are creating a momentum where you’ll be able to reap daily because of the sowing that you’ve been doing. It’s accumulative.
You need to know you actually have control over this thing called money. You have control of your performance. You have control of this thing called serving people. You are in control and can dominate your ability to create wealth in your life. Create deep bonds with people that matter to you.
That’s not something you need to question anymore. That’s something you can rely on. You want to trust that you know what to do, when to do it, how to do it and so I’m going to talk to you about how to set standards that give you freedom.
You need to understand and know, deeply, your core habits.
Do they make you stronger or weaker? More effective or less? What daily decisions are you making, causing you to be stronger, more effective, more productive, think faster, be more confident? Do you have habits that make it easy for you to generate the kind of money you want and make it very hard for you not to?
You want to have a consistent and dependable way of doing this. This means, you’ll be able to depend on yourself, right? You need to know who’s going to show up in the morning and not leave it to chance.
Why are we talking about this? Because most people live out of control. They are not in command of their lives, of their business or their relationships.
They’re not being in charge to influence or dominate their environment because they give those reins to someone else. Think about that.
Every day, someone or something, whether that’s Facebook, Twitter, TV, any media, email, friends, family members, co-workers are all trying to grab your attention. Have you noticed that?
Advertisers spend billions to control and dominate where you put your focus, true?
I’m saying, let’s grab a hold of those reins. Take control of your own environment and time. Be very appreciative and grateful for the minutes and seconds you have here on this planet.
In order to do that, we first need to take a stand and identify, “What do I stand for?” What daily habits or rituals, what lifestyle do I want?”
When I was living in Stockholm many years ago in the beginning of my career, I charged very differently for my services.
I thought to myself, “If I can only have $30,000 SEK (Swedish Kronor, roughly $3000) in my bank account, I’m good.” That was my level of thinking at the time. If I have $3,000 in my account, consistently, I’m good. That doesn’t pay for anything in my life today. Portions, obviously, but does it support a Los Angeles lifestyle? Hardly.
I charged $1,000 for 12 private sessions with me. That’s insane! It’s completely insane. It was a different level of thinking. I thought that was good. I couldn’t even imagine anything different.
Perspectives change. I went to see an apartment building in Beverly Hills recently; the penthouse is $65,000 a month just to rent it. It comes with a concierge service where they literally drive you in a Rolls Royce or an Escalade within a three-mile radius anywhere you want, right in the heart of Beverly Hills with 365-degree views of the Hollywood Hills, the Hollywood sign, downtown L.A., and the ocean. You can see everywhere.
I’m not saying that’s how you want to use your money. I’m not even suggesting those should even be your values.
The point I want to drive home is that the standards you hold for yourself will determine the internal resources and potential you’ll access, therefore your results. If your standards communicate, for example, “If I’m lucky, or if I feel like it, I’ll make a few sales calls today.” “If I feel like it, I’ll get up earlier today.” “I hope I can be productive today.” “I hope I win today.”
With standards like that, you have no standards. Who decides the standards you live by?
You do, of course! It’s just that very often it may not feel like you do, right? Most likely, your standards haven’t been updated for years, if ever. Most of us just adopted the standards of our families, and never stopped to question whether those are the standards we want to live by.
You decide the standards you want. You just want to make sure it matches with what you really want. Not what you’ve settled for. Is this making sense? My question is, are your current standards designed to take you where you want? Think about that, I you have an idea of where you would want to be 5 years, 10 years or even 20 years from now, are your standards (your thoughts, feelings and behaviors that you live by) your habits going to take you there? It’s a yes or no answer. And it’s predictable.
I say I want build a multi-million dollar business, but I sleep until noon. I want to be in great shape and have lots of energy, but I eat fast food five days a week. I want to be connected to my spouse but I can’t have a dinner conversation without checking my phone. You get it?
We don’t get our wants in life, we get our standards.
It’s really about perspective, right? I got an opportunity to join this pretty cool club where you get to fly private jets all over the country and internationally.
Some people would say, “That’s crazy! You don’t need to fly private jets.” No, I don’t need to. I don’t need to do anything, but I want to. It’s fun. It optimizes time (no need to waste hours at the airport), creates new opportunities. It’s the level of quality and standard I want for myself. If I want that and it’s available to me, why deny myself new experiences?
The only way I would deny myself what I want is if I’m thinking, “I can’t afford it. It’s not available to me. That’s too much money.” Like I said, $3,000 at one point was a lot of money.
Let’s take a closer look at the standards you want for yourself.
What standard do you want when connecting with people in business? Think about it. I know, maybe you haven’t thought about this. It’s normal. But we’re talking about it right now. And I know you wouldn’t listen to me right now if you wanted to be a halfass. Right? Let’s look at it. How about privately? How do you want to communicate? How do you want to relate to people? What’s the standard? Take a moment and invest some thought into how you will build your legacy.
I want you to set a standard for what you want, a standard for yourself, including the people you serve. If you don’t dominate your thinking, your feelings, and your behaviors, someone else will. That’s just the way it is.
In other words, someone else will control and dominate your thinking, your perception, your focus, what you do, and don’t do. It’s as simple as that.
First, take a moment and ask yourself, “What’s the standard I want for myself?”
If you think of your bank accounts, what’s the standard? Think about it? What’s the minimum balance you will allow for your bank account? Is it $3,000, $5,000, $10,000, $100,000, $100,000,000? What has to be in your account no matter what happens? In other words, what’s the fluctuation you’ll allow?
The standard is your standard. Not my standard or anybody else’s. Yours.
You might, say, “I’m not going to have anything less than $20,000, $100,000 or $300,000 in my checking account, and I’m going to have at least $100,000, $500,000 or $20 million in my savings account.” I don’t know what the number is for you. Whatever it is, get clarity.
No matter what area of life we’re talking about, this matter. Clarity about your health, mental energy, how you talk to your kids, how you use your time, the quality of your friendships it’s worth your investment of time, focus and dedication. This is not something you do in five minutes. So I’m just starting the ball rolling. If you and I were working together we would of course, look at the most important, the key areas that would have the biggest most significant impact in your life and your business (The once that make you the most efficient, makes you the most successful).
This requires careful thought and dedication.
The second question, after you get clear on your standards, is “What ONE habit do I need in place to have this level of standard in my life?” And once you’re clear on the ONE… What second ONE habit can you add to solidify your standard?
Having clarity, will determine the daily habits you put in place; the level of conversations you have, and with whom.
Many years ago, I went through bankruptcy. It was painful. I felt like a loser, like I’d failed in life and adulthood. I decided I wasn’t going to use credit cards. More specifically, I wasn’t going to spend money, I didn’t have. Years later, I decided, “Okay, I’m going to have one credit card. Here’s the rule, every month, it’s going to be paid in full. If I can’t pay in full—If I’m not actually making that kind of money—I’m not going to use it.” That’s the standard I set. Every month, the income has to be there, or I won’t use it.
The standard, determines what I will buy or not buy. It also determines the monthly, weekly and daily actions required, to generate the kind of revenue I want. Simple, right? If I want to buy something—no matter the price point—if I want it, I know, what my level of productivity has to be.
If you don’t have clarity, someone else will, and it may not necessarily be in your best interest.
You’re either in control or you’re being controlled. You’re either in charge and dominate or you’re being dominated, period. There’s no in between.
Many people, are so afraid of taking control or to dominate so they sit back and become victims. They’ll complain about things not being done the way they want it to be done. The truth is, they didn’t take charge, they didn’t take command, they lost control (gave it away). Makes sense?
I hope you enjoyed this episode and found it helpful and that you’ll share it with your friends, it’s really how I’m getting the word out about this podcast. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I devoting a lot of time to deliver value to you, and I’m really counting on you, my badass community to help me get the word out. Please take a moment if you haven’t already and leave me a review on iTunes. And more important, send the link of this episode in a text, to someone you know who would love this episode and who needs it, because you’re the best person to recommend people to our community to our tribe, our badass nation because we already know who fits in, right?
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BOOM! How’d you like that?
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