Reevaluating Self-Control: Self-control may not be a depletable resource as believed. Instead, maintaining virtuous desires could be more crucial for achieving goals, challenging traditional views on willpower and discipline.
Self-control is often misunderstood as a depletable resource that we consume like fuel. Many believe that willpower diminishes with use, leading to poorer decisions later in the day. However, the idea of ego depletion is being questioned. Research suggests that self-control might not diminish in the ways we think. Instead, it could be that maintaining virtuous desires and motivations plays a bigger role in achieving goals than simply relying on willpower. This insight challenges traditional views on discipline, prompting us to consider the importance of fostering genuine interests and values rather than just trying to manage limited self-control.
Replication Crisis: Ego depletion and willpower theories lack robust evidence, facing a replication crisis in psychology. While past studies showed intuitive appeal, rigorous testing often fails to confirm them, urging researchers to seek new methods to explore the complexities of self-regulation and fatigue.
Many established theories in psychology, particularly the concept of ego depletion, face significant challenges regarding their validity and replication. For instance, the belief that willpower is depleting due to glucose depletion lacks scientific support, as actual studies show minimal glucose consumption during cognitive tasks. Despite some theories appearing intuitive, many fail to replicate under rigorous scientific scrutiny, leading to a broader concern within social sciences. This replication crisis suggests that traditional methodologies may not capture the complexities of psychological phenomena accurately, yet this does not completely invalidate the underlying ideas. Further exploration and different research approaches could unveil reliable insights into self-regulation and fatigue, shifting focus away from past theories that failed to withstand empirical testing.
Self-Control Insights: Self-control isn't just about willpower; it's more about conscientiousness. Long-term success comes from healthy habits, not just strict discipline or white-knuckling through challenges.
Healthcare workers struggle with hand sanitizing, especially when tired, showing that fatigue affects self-control. This aligns with a broader understanding that high-performing individuals often exhibit conscientious traits rather than relying on sheer self-control or willpower. Research suggests that excessive white-knuckling can lead to burnout, and instead of focusing on temporary control measures, long-term success lies in better health habits and lifestyle changes.
Shaping Desires: Extrinsic rewards can help internalize positive desires, aided by a supportive community and identity formation. While personality traits matter, environment influences our motivations.
To shape our desires towards positive behaviors, we can start by connecting extrinsic rewards to intrinsic motivations. We often need external incentives, like rewards, to engage in tasks we don't naturally enjoy. Over time, as we consistently participate in these activities, we may begin to internalize their value. This process involves adopting an identity around healthy behaviors, like thinking of oneself as a ‘healthy person’ or ‘voter.’ Additionally, being surrounded by others who share these values can inspire us to align our desires with positive actions. Ultimately, while some traits, such as conscientiousness, have a genetic basis, our environment and experiences also play a significant role in shaping our motivations and desires, leading us to make better choices in life.
Effort and Growth: To help non-conscientious individuals, focus on setting specific goals, planning tasks, and rewarding effort instead of outcomes, fostering a positive mindset towards hard work.
Many people struggle with self-control and conscientiousness, especially those who are less diligent. To help these individuals, it's important to focus on effective goal setting and planning. By breaking down larger tasks into smaller, manageable pieces and rewarding effort instead of outcomes, we can foster a greater appreciation for hard work. This approach can help non-conscientious people to develop a mindset that values persistence and effort, making them more likely to succeed. Additionally, assessing both mental and physical efforts can lead to a deeper understanding that hard work, although sometimes unpleasant, can also bring satisfaction.
Value in Effort: Effortful tasks, like climbing or solving puzzles, may be challenging but lead to greater satisfaction. The more effort we invest, the more we value the outcome, making hard tasks worthwhile for fulfillment and meaning in life.
People often shy away from tasks that seem too hard, but the effort we put into something can actually make us value it more in the end. Activities that are challenging, like climbing mountains or solving tough puzzles, can bring satisfaction and a sense of meaning. Studies show that when we create something ourselves, even if it’s not perfect, we appreciate it more than if an expert did it for us. This is known as the IKEA effect. So, choosing effortful activities can lead to greater fulfillment, happiness, and meaning in life. It’s important to remember that just because a task is hard doesn’t mean we should avoid it, as sometimes the best rewards come from tackling difficult challenges. Learning to enjoy the process of effort can change how we see our achievements and the satisfaction we can derive from them.
Is Self-Control Overrated?
Recent Episodes from The Art of Manliness
The Safe, Effective Supplement That Can Improve Your Body and Brain
What if there was a supplement that could build muscle, maintain bone health, fortify the brain against cognitive decline due to age and stress, and alleviate depression, has been proven safe, and comes with almost no side effects? Well, there is such a supplement, it's been around a long time, and it isn't even expensive. It's creatine.
Here to unpack the myths, benefits, and recommended ways to use creatine is Darren Candow, a professor of exercise physiology and nutrition who supervises the Aging Muscle and Bone Health Laboratory at the University of Regina. Darren specializes in studying creatine and has published over 70 papers on the subject. Today on the show, Darren explains how a supplement often associated with bodybuilders may actually be beneficial for just about everyone — athletes and non-athletes and the young and old alike. He unpacks what creatine does in the body, and how its benefits extend beyond the body and into the brain. He offers recommendations on the formulation of creatine to use, a suggested dosage and whether it should increase with age, and how to avoid the bloating effect. He also shares what we know about creatine's safety, including its effects on the kidneys, and whether it can cause hair loss.
Resources Related to the Podcast
- AoM Article: Creatine — A Primer on Its Benefits and Use
- AoM Article: A Primer On Muscle-Building Supplements — Which Work and Which Don’t?
- AoM Podcast #878: The Fitness Supplements That Actually Work
- AoM Podcast #585: Inflammation, Saunas, and the New Science of Depression
- AoM Podcast #852: The Brain Energy Theory of Mental Illness
- Darren's studies
Connect With Darren Candow
Is Self-Control Overrated?
Self-control, the ability to resolve a conflict between two competing desires, is frequently touted as the golden key to success. But many of the most popular ideas about self-control are actually at odds with how it really operates.
Here to unpack some of the lesser-understood and counterintuitive ideas around discipline and willpower is Michael Inzlicht, a professor of psychology who has studied the nature of self-regulation in depth. In the first part of our conversation, Michael unpacks the popular ego depletion model of willpower and how it hasn't held up to scientific scrutiny. We then turn to the surprising fact that the people who seem to exhibit a lot of self-control don't actually exercise a lot of discipline and restraint in their lives, that the achievement of goals is more a function of having virtuous desires, and what contributes to having those desires.
Resources Related to the Podcast
- Related studies:
- Perceived Mental Fatigue and Self-Control
- A Multilab Preregistered Replication of the Ego-Depletion Effect
- Everyday Temptations: An Experience Sampling Study of Desire, Conflict, and Self-Control
- New Zealand Study on Trait Self-Control
- The Moralization of Effort
- The Mundanity of Excellence
- The Identity Model of Self-Regulation
- The Effort Paradox: Effort Is Both Costly and Valued
- AoM Podcast #961: The Mundanity of Excellence
- AoM Article: Motivation Over Discipline
- AoM Article: ¿Tienes Ganas?
- Sunday Firesides: What Looks Like Grit, Is Often Fit
- AoM Article: What Do You Want to Want?
Connect With Michael Inzlicht
You Were Born to Run
For decades, some researchers have argued that the notable human capacity for endurance evolved from the hunting practices of our ancestors, which produced physiological adaptations that make us uniquely well suited for running.
But this theory has always had its detractors.
As my guest explains, a new study addresses these long-standing criticisms and adds evidence that, indeed, we were all born to run.
Alex Hutchinson is a journalist who covers the science of endurance and fitness, and today on the show, he explains what those criticisms were and how this new research counters them. We talk about the role running held amongst peoples of the past, how running is not only primal but cultural and even spiritual, and why we continue to run today, even though we’re not hunting for food. And we discuss how, even if we are born to run, that doesn’t mean everyone will always enjoy running all of the time, and how to get into running if you’re someone who doesn’t feel an innate desire for it.
Resources Related to the Podcast
- Alex’s previous appearances on the AoM podcast:
- “Why You (Yes, You) Were Born to Run” by Alex Hutchinson
- “Ethnography and Ethnohistory Support the Efficiency of Hunting Through Endurance Running in Humans”
- Indian Running: Native American History and Tradition by Peter Nabokov
- The Hunting Hypothesis by Robert Ardrey
- “The Energetic Paradox of Human Running and Hominid Evolution” — 1984 paper by David Carrier
- Why We Run by Bernd Heinrich
- AoM Podcast #691: What You Can (Really) Learn About Exercise from Your Human Ancestors With Daniel Lieberman
- Born to Run by Christopher McDougall
- “Reexamining the Mythology of the Tarahumara Runners” by Alex Hutchinson
- To the Limit: The Meaning of Endurance from Mexico to the Himalayas by Michael Crawley
Connect With Alex Hutchinson
Becoming a Tech Intentional Family
In a family, a lot of the dynamics around devices and screens are reactive in nature. Kids bug for their own smartphones, parents worry they'll be left out without one, and without weighing the pros and cons, give in to their kids' requests. Parents let children have a ton of screen time because it lets the parents do what they want; then, they reach a moment where they feel disturbed about how much time their kids are on screens, berate their children for this habit, which they've facilitated, and vow that things are going to abruptly turn around.
Rather than basing your policies about kids and screens on mood, fear, and impulse, it would be better to do so based on reason and reflection. Emily Cherkin has some ideas on how to get there. Emily is a former teacher, a screentime consultant who helps parents and educators balance the role of devices in kids' lives, and the author of The Screentime Solution: A Judgment-Free Guide to Becoming a Tech-Intentional Family. Today on the show, Emily unpacks the state of screentime amongst kids today, how the "displacement hypothesis" explains how its impact extends beyond a decline in mental health, and why parents give their kids smartphones even when they're not sure it's good for them. We then turn to how families can become more tech intentional, and how that starts with parents taking a look at their own behavior. We discuss why putting parental controls on devices isn't the ultimate solution, why a better one is based on your relationship with your kids, why you need to live your digital life out loud, and some considerations to think through before getting your kid their first smartphone.
Resources Related to the Podcast
- AoM Podcast #300: How to Raise Free Range Kids With Lenore Skenazy
- AoM Article: What’s the Right Age to Get a Kid Their First Smartphone? 3 Tech Thinkers Weigh In
- AoM Article: The Best Internet Filter for Kids
- The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
- The Light Phone
Connect With Emily Cherkin
10 Philosophy-Inspired Challenges for Becoming a Better and Happier Man
Although they may call it different things and approach its attainment in different ways, many of the world’s religions and philosophies have a similar goal: achieving a life of virtue, peace, and flourishing.
In his new book, Seriously Happy, Ben Aldrige explains how anyone can use the wisdom of ancient traditions to improve themselves and live the Good life. Today on the show, Ben offers a thumbnail sketch of Buddhism, Cynicism, Taoism, Stoicism, Epicureanism, and Aristotelianism, along with practices and challenges inspired by these philosophies, including walking a banana, listening to a music performance without music, and taking a Wu Wei adventure, that you can use to put ancient wisdom into action and become a better and happier man.
Resources Related to the Podcast
- Ben’s previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #640 — Weird and Wonderful Ways to Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
- AoM Podcast #148: Trying Not to Try
- Why Buddhism is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment by Robert Wright
- John Cage’s 4’33”
- Albert Ellis’ Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy
Connect With Ben Aldridge
How to Win Friends and Influence People in the 21st Century
Note: This is a rebroadcast.
Over the last year, my 12-year-old son has been doing one challenge every week as a rite of passage and chance to earn a special trip. Some of these challenges have involved reading a book in a week, and the most recent book we gave him to read was How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie. His review? He said it was the best book he's read so far.
So a book written almost 90 years ago can still be a favorite of a kid in the 21st century. Talk about some staying power.
The advice in How to Win Friends & Influence People, and Dale Carnegie's other classic, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, is timeless. But to help introduce it to a new audience, my guest, Joe Hart, has recently co-authored the book Take Command, which synthesizes, updates, and adds to the principles of Carnegie's two perennial bestsellers. Joe is the President and CEO of Dale Carnegie & Associates, which continues Carnegie's work in the present day, and we begin our conversation with some background on the guy who kicked off this work back in 1936. We then talk about what principles we can take from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living on developing a positive mindset. From there, we talk about the big overarching principle of How to Win Friends & Influence People, and how you can use it to improve your relationships. We end our conversation with advice on how to live life with more intentionality and meaning.
Resources Related to the Episode
- How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
- How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
- The Dale Carnegie Website, with links to the Take Command book page and the Dale Carnegie Course
- AoM Article: The 8 Best Vintage Self-Improvement Books
- AoM Podcast #818: The Philosophy of Self-Improvement
- AoM Podcast #457: Leadership Lessons With Craig Groeschel
- AoM Podcast #527: The Journey to the Second Half of Life With Richard Rohr
- AoM Podcast #518: The Second Mountain With David Brooks
Connect With Joe Hart
It's Never Too Late to Achieve Your Dream, Receive Recognition, or Make Your Mark
As you get older, you can start to feel like you'll never achieve your dream or receive recognition for your contributions to a field, or that your best work is behind you.
Mo Rocca has compiled stories that demonstrate that you shouldn't give up hope, and that no matter your age, the best may yet be to come.
Mo is a humorist, journalist, and the co-author of Roctogenarians: Late in Life Debuts, Comebacks, and Triumphs. Today on the show, Mo shares the stories and lessons of entrepreneurs, artists, actors, and more who achieved greatness or adulation in their twilight years or had a new spurt of creativity when they thought the well had run dry, including KFC founder Colonel Sanders, the artist Matisse, a couple of guys who didn't receive their first war wounds until they were old enough to qualify for the senior citizen discount at Denny's, and even a virile 90-year-old tortoise.
Resources Related to the Podcast
- AoM Podcast #849: Live Life in Crescendo
- Samuel Whittemore
- John L. Burns
- Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater
- Frank Lloyd Wright's Guggenheim Museum
- Henri Matisse's The Swimming Pool
- Documentary about Tyrus Wong
- Mr. Pickles the Tortoise
Connect With Mo Rocca
When He's Married to Mom
Your relationship with your mother is likely the first and most foundational connection in your life. At its best, this bond can be a source of comfort, strength, and love that lasts a lifetime and changes in healthy, appropriate, and adaptive ways as you mature into adulthood.
But sometimes, the attachment between a mother and her son can become unhealthy, resulting in a phenomenon called mother-son enmeshment, in which a man can become a kind of surrogate husband to his mom.
Here to unpack this complex issue is Dr. Kenneth Adams. Ken is a clinical psychologist who has spent much of his career working with what he calls "mother-enmeshed men" and is the author of When He's Married to Mom. Today on the show, Ken unpacks the characteristics of mother-enmeshed men and how to know if you are one, and he explains what can happen in childhood that would cause a mother to enmesh with her son. We discuss the problems enmeshment can create in men's relationships and other areas of life and how it can lead to things like compulsive porn use. And we unpack what it means for a man to become independent and emancipate from his mother, how it's different from cutting her off, and what it looks like to have a healthy relationship with your mom.
Connect with Ken Adams
Unlock Better Sleep and Health by Harnessing Your Circadian Rhythm
You probably know your body follows a circadian rhythm, and probably think of it as primarily regulating your sleep/wake cycle, which it certainly does. But your body's internal clock also regulates many other physical, mental, and behavioral changes that occur every 24 hours, and working with your circadian rhythm, rather than against it, can boost your health and happiness.
Here to unpack how to do so is Russell Foster, a professor of circadian neuroscience and the author of Life Time: Your Body Clock and Its Essential Roles in Good Health and Sleep. In the first part of our conversation, we discuss some science and background on circadian rhythm and its connection to light exposure. We then turn to the practical implications of having an internal clock, including whether you need to worry about viewing blue light at night, the significant mental and physical harms that can accrue from working the night shift and what can be done to mitigate them, what influences your chronotype and whether you're a morning lark or a night owl, whether you should be concerned if you're waking up in the middle of the night, why you wake up to pee in the night, the best times of day to exercise, and how the circadian rhythm can influence when you should take medication.
Connect With Russell Foster
Boots, Tents, Sleeping Bags, and More: How to Choose and Use Outdoor Gear
A fair amount of gear is involved in making a camping or backpacking trip a success, and choosing that gear can be a little intimidating as there are lots of options, and it's expensive to boot.
Here to offer some tips on selecting gear and getting the most out of it is Craig Caudill, an avid outdoorsman, the director and lead instructor of the Nature Reliance School, and the author of Ultimate Wilderness Gear: Everything You Need to Know to Choose and Use the Best Outdoor Equipment. Today on the show, Craig and I discuss some things to know when purchasing things like boots, tents, sleeping bags, and more, and we offer some specific recommendations as to the gear that's worked for us respectively. Craig also offers tips on using outdoor equipment, including how to dry wet boots without damaging them, whether you should put a tarp under your tent, what to do if you get hot and sweaty or cold in your sleeping bag, a hack for sleeping more comfortably on the ground, and the best kind of knife for an outdoorsman to carry.
Resources Related to the Podcast
- AoM Article: How to Filter and Purify Water for Traveling, Camping, and Survival
- AoM Article: The Benefits of Hammock Camping
- AoM Article: How to Pack a Backpack for Backpacking
- AoM Article: Two Things You Should Be Doing to Take Better Care of Your Camping Gear
- AoM Article: Outdoor Hydration Showdown — Nalgene Bottle vs. Water Bladder
- AoM Article: How to Choose the Perfect Survival Knife
- Craig's books
- Native Summit in Edmond, OK
- Brett's Tent: Hubba Hubba 2-Person Backpacking Tent
- Hennessy Hammock Tent
- Warbonnet Hammock Tents
- Military Modular Sleep System
- Brett's Sleeping Pad: Big Agnes
- Kate's Sleeping Pad: Therm-A-Rest Trail Prolite Apex
- Backpacking Cot
- Brett's Backpacking Pillow: Sea to Summit Aeros
- Brett's Water Bladder: HydraPak Shape-Shift
- Craig's Water Filter: Sawyer Mini
- Brett's Water Filter: Katadyn Hiker Pro Hand Pump Water Filter
- Sawyer Squeeze Water Filter
- Brett's Backpacking Stove: Jetboil Stove
- Fire-Maple Backpacking Stove
- MSR Backpacking Stove
- LT Wright Handcrafted Knives
- Fast Fire Firestarters
- Hill People Gear Backpacks