Lessons on Leadership from Human Resources, Teachers and Coaches

Soul Searching: What I learned from trauma and when things blow up in your face

On the 4th of July a firework exploded in my face. Here's an "explosive" story about the terrible accident that resulted in 20 stitches to my lips, lacerations and burns all over my face, chest and arms that left me terrified and temporarily unable to eat, speak or smile.  

This video is part Public Service Announcement to beware of fireworks. It's part deeply personal sharing about how faith and gratitude got me through pain. It's part call to action for us all to be open and let people help us through our difficulties and foster meaningful human connection. It's a reminder that things usually end up better then we think and blessings, insight and love can come from suffering. Here's the video as well.

It's also a sincere thank you to all my family, friends, neighbors and colleagues who got me through this adversity and continue to support and uplift me. I'm awed and humbled by the responses my original post got. Connections of connections I don't even know commented with prayers and support. People from all over the world messaged me with encouragement. I discovered how truly connected we all are! Thank you so much for sharing this vulnerable life experience with me. I'm happy to be back at work. 

Soul Searching with Tionka Humphrey: Obstacles Don’t Block the Path, They Become Your Story

We wrap up this pandemic season’s soul searching interviews with a big dose of inspiration to help us develop leadership and resilience.

Tionka gives tools to develop confidence. Her goal to become CFO is rooted in helping others “I want to be a beacon of hope for my community because we don’t see a lot of Black CFOs. How you speak can influence the world. I knew I needed practice to develop that necessary skill.” She knows “practice makes perfect, so I say yes to almost everything.” She recently gave a large presentation at nonprofit Year Up and transformed that nervous energy to be of service to the audience. She shares her pep talk “the audience is rooting for me” instead of “what if I mess up” to overcome fear of public speaking and silence our inner critic.

She shares her philosophy that “obstacles don’t block the path, they become your story” on how she reframed the challenge of an unplanned pregnancy in college and reframed “I can’t” to “how can I?” She also learned that “motherhood and leadership go hand in hand. I enjoy seeing people become what they want to be.”

Let’s use these best practices to be servant leaders too!

Free resources to find joy at work and life 

https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel

Lessons on Leadership from Human Resources, Teachers and Coaches

We can improve success at work and home when we make a stronger connection and apply best practices from all areas of our life. 

Here are 3 techniques to help you get results and peak performance from colleagues, customers and children. 

1. Core values: Let’s apply the same best practice that our companies use to create culture and foster empathy at home too. Creating family values appeals to noble motives, develops character and shared meaning.
2. Let’s learn from teachers who dramatize the idea using props, songs, mock trials, and costumes to increase retention. Let’s turn on video in virtual meetings to increase engagement and let’s use visual aids to engage our customers and teams to be more memorable.
3. Coaches know that performance improves with a bit of friendly competition. Let’s copy how youth sports creates camaraderie and winning back at work too. When we include awards, prizes, leader boards, and reward personal bests we get better effort and results.

More resources: https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel

What’s your work life connection insight? 

This heartbreaking and heartwarming interview will help you face some of the challenges of leading during a pandemic. Eric shares principles he used from How to Win Friends and Influence People with his 15-year-old to overcome difficulties with remote learning, gain cooperation from teachers, and create peace at home with his spouse. 

1. Try a new approach. It’s easy to fall into old patterns especially when we’re feeling pandemic fatigue ourselves.
2. Avoid the argument by using a calm voice. “Hmm, looks like there are missing assignments.”
3. Don’t say you’re wrong. “Maybe there’s a sync issue?”
4. Give a fine reputation to live up to. “I see you’ve been working hard.” Praise helps people feel less overwhelmed.
5. Ask questions. “Can you reach out to your teacher to see what the misunderstanding is?”
6. Dramatize the idea. “Can you include a screenshot of your completed homework?”
7. Empathize. “Sometimes there’s a stigma about mental health. Pay attention to warning signs like weight loss and kids not playing Xbox with their friends. Take advantage of resources like counseling.”

Free resources to find joy at work and life https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel.

Employee Engagement, Jedi Parenting, Zen Moments & Empathy

Here are 3 techniques to help you improve relationships at work and at home:

1)    People support a world they help create. Brainstorming and asking questions to get others to offer solutions makes them feel empowered and they’re more likely to think it’s a good idea if they come up with it. This is a great antidote to apathy and the complaint, “Don’t tell me what to do!”  

2)    Are you analytical? “Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view” is the principle for you! It challenges us to gather additional data to evaluate. By examining the facts of a person or situation, we can use logic to reframe how we interpret it. It helps us understand human nature, gain insight to other people's thinking and behavior, and neutralize our frustration.  

3)    There’s power in saying “me too, I know how you feel.” The story my client shares in this video shows when we’re sympathetic, we transform our relationships and increase happiness. Let’s foster empathy and inclusion by considering what it’s like to be a kid, an intern, a new employee, and a minority. Let’s remember the challenges of reorgs, exec presentations, and pandemic fatigue.  

What’s your favorite?

More resources: https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel

Turning acquaintances into real friends can be hard in the best of times, much less while social distancing. Creating belonging on teams can challenge even the best of managers, much less while on boarding employees remotely. Turning small talk into meaningful connection can be hard for even the best of conversationalists, much less during this season of isolation. Tasha shares some tips on how she’s been able to thaw the Seattle freeze and help “make friends so when the worlds opens up again we can meet people in a different way.”

1. Change our mindset: don’t assume people don’t want to talk to you. “I thought people who were higher up then me in the organization didn’t need to hear from me. I’ve learned people appreciate you connecting with them.” Reach out and invite people to come over or go out.
2. Share yourself: “Be comfortable sharing your struggle. We don’t need to show up perfect. Social media can make us think lives need to be filtered and perfected."
3. “Making friends is about making time for other people.”
4. Remember people’s names.
5. “Listen to their story.”
6. Find inspiration you can share with others. Tasha shares how the Navy Seals have inspired her: “when you think you’re done you still have 40% more.”

Free resources to find joy at work and life https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel.

Gaining Cooperation with Fun, Socrates and Venting: Lessons from Family that Apply at Work 

Here are 3 techniques to help you gain cooperation from colleagues, customers and children.

1. Have fun. I’ve interviewed over 10,000 adults from all over the world who shared stories from their childhood. This research revealed memories of joy and play. Let’s apply this best practice to our leadership at work and engage employees with celebrations, gifts, and games.
2. Socrates taught by asking questions to encourage problem solving. Dale Carnegie said, “get others to say yes to win people to your way of thinking.” My clients sometimes ask if this principle might be perceived as manipulative. I share in the video I loved being on the receiving end of this diplomatic principle when my 10-year-old got me to agree to let him quit piano lessons. 
3. Let them vent. I’m an educator for The Gottman Institute 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work and encourage clients to leverage his 40 years of research in romantic partnerships at work: understanding must precede advice. Let’s first understand our colleague and customer pain points before we problem solve. We interfere with implementing solutions if we haven’t fully listened and understood their feelings and problems.

More resources: https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel

What leadership best practice can you share from work or home? 

Soul Searching with Theresa Francomacaro: Neuroscience and Storytelling Tips

Whether you are selling a product, pitching your ideas, leading a team or interviewing, stories help you communicate clearly. Presentation coach Theresa says, “Think ‘where do I want my audience to go’ and reverse engineer your story accordingly. Have a character that solves a common problem uncommonly well. Research shows we remember 22x better with a story than data alone.”

Here is a framework to craft your story based on how you want to impact your audience based on the 5 neurological responses that stories create in the brain and body:
If your audience feels fear, tell a story on finding clarity to release cortisol so they focus.
Isolation causing loneliness? A happy tale releases dopamine so they feel love.
If they feel longing, instill peace with examples of hope to release serotonin.
Generate empathy with a story on human connection to release oxytocin.
Create action in your audience describing a brave character to produce adrenaline.

Let's tell stories of soul searching in this season of pandemic and virtual work to inspire resilience. Free resources to find joy at work and life https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel. Join Theresa’s upcoming workshop www.whystoryworks.com

My clients have discovered a paradox with applying these ideas. It seems like weakness to admit mistakes to our employees and kids, but others actually perceive it as strong leadership skills and emotional intelligence that builds trust. Here are 3 quick tips to help you avoid conflict at work and at home.  

1)    Avoid the argument: Most disagreements are triggered by the angry look on our face, the harsh tone of our voice, bad timing and saying “you should” which makes people feel defensive.  

2)    Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say “you’re wrong” Different doesn’t mean wrong. There are usually several right ways to do things.

3)    If you’re wrong, admit it quickly. Model how to build trust.  

Try these and 10 phrases to preserve your sanity and your relationships.

Try these and 10 phrases to preserve your sanity and your relationships.

You’re right

I’m wrong

I haven’t tried it that way before

That’s a different way that works too

You came at this from a different angle

You know yourself best

Can you show me how you did it

You had a good intention

Can you help me understand your perspective

I understood it differently, can we look at it together

More resources: https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel

What leadership best practice can you share from work or home?

Our guest this week inspires us to cultivate gratitude, resilience, and connection. She shares techniques she’s learned to find purpose and thrive despite challenges.

As a mom of a special needs child she’s discovered the power of mindset: changing “I have to” to “I get to” as a tool to reframe is her top advice. “God had a lot of lessons He wanted to teach me and He brought this nugget of joy, passion and challenges. Just seeing the world in such a different light in his body and brain due to his genetic disorder. That’s the greatest lesson any of us can learn is how we perceive the world.” Daily movement, meditation, healthy habits, and inspiring podcasts also help. She leads us in her favorite powerful 16 second reboot (10:35).

She says finding purpose and a strong community help her stay positive. “Challenges teach me empathy. We have to let our cracks show and let the light show to us so we can give it to others.”

She hopes we all have done soul searching during the pandemic to inspire us: to talk about mental health, be more vulnerable and realize we can do things we didn’t think we could, like work, learn, exercise and connect virtually. Follow Amy @happierhealthierliving and follow me for uplifting content and free resources https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel to find joy at work and life.