Listener Question! Common Misconceptions About Divorce

Fueling Your Body Through Divorce and Beyond
Seth and Pete welcome Jill Moellering, a functional nutritional therapy practitioner, to discuss how divorce affects our relationship with food. Jill offers guidance on overcoming disordered eating and embracing a balanced approach to nutrition.

This compelling episode tackles the mental and emotional roots of unhealthy eating habits. Seth and Pete explore how grief, loss of control, and stress – factors in any divorce – impact our food choices. Jill provides practical strategies to become more mindful, such as focusing on how different foods make you feel and keeping a food journal.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How can I cope with emotional or stress eating during my divorce?
• What are some simple ways to start eating healthier after a separation?
• How can I teach my kids good eating habits when their other parent doesn't do the same?

Key Takeaways:

• Prioritize protein at every meal to stay full and stabilize blood sugar.
• Pay attention to how different foods affect your mood, energy, and sleep.
• Approach food from a perspective of choice rather than restriction.

Plus, we tackle a listener question about navigating separation when unmarried with a child.

Seth explains the differences in this "parental divorce" and stresses the importance of finding a lawyer familiar with paternity law. Though the emotional impact is similar, the legal process differs without a marriage.

This episode will inspire you to build a healthier relationship with food, even amidst the turmoil of divorce. Tune in to gain practical nutrition tips and a deeper understanding of your eating habits.

Links & Notes

• Jill’s website Whole Bean Wellness
• Find Jill and Whole Bean Wellness on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• (02:00) - Meet Jill Moellering
• (03:20) - Diet Culture and Your Emotional Health
• (05:34) - Divorce and Your Diet
• (09:10) - Paying Attention to How Food Makes Us Feel
• (10:58) - Intentional Choices
• (12:28) - How to Rewire Your Approach to Food
• (16:55) - Seth’s Shift
• (22:22) - A Pivot in Language
• (23:41) - Things You Can Control
• (25:13) - A-Ha Moments
• (26:16) - Crystal Light
• (27:38) - Don’t Restrict but Upgrade
• (30:04) - Thoughtful Choices
• (32:27) - Where to Start
• (35:38) - When You and Your Ex Disagree on How to Feed the Kids
• (38:09) - Guilty Pleasure Foods
• (39:35) - Where to Find Jill
• (40:17) - Listener Question
• (46:17) - Wrap Up

Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

In this empowering episode, Seth and Pete are joined by Beverly Price, founder of Her Empowered Divorce, to discuss how to overcome domestic abuse and take control of divorce proceedings. Beverly shares her personal story of persevering through multiple divorces and emerging stronger. She provides insights on effective communication, documenting abuse, and building a supportive team. This is an inspiring conversation about reclaiming your agency during a challenging time.

Key Takeaways

• Communicate for results, not just to express yourself. Frame issues clearly and concisely.
• Create a divorce team including a coach, lawyer and financial advisor. Divvy up roles.
• Document abuse with specific facts and dates, not emotions. Paint a pattern over time.

Questions We Answer

• How can you prep most effectively for that first lawyer meeting?
• What should you say when first telling your spouse you want divorce?
• How do you prove non-physical abuse like coercion?

Plus, we tackle another listener question on changes in Florida divorce law!

This empathetic episode provides encouragement and practical tools to help anyone facing a contentious split take control of their situation, reclaim their self-worth, and ultimately transition from victim to survivor. Beverly shares her own inspiring journey as well as expert tips to empower yourself and get results during divorce proceedings.

Links & Notes

• Find Beverly and Her Empowered Divorce on the web, LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube
• Her Empowered Divorce Podcast
• Get Beverly’s free ebook Comprehensive Divorce Checklist here
• Divorce Coalition
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• (02:00) - Meet Beverly Price
• (03:16) - Beverly’s Backstory
• (05:42) - Types of Abuse
• (08:29) - ‘Have I Experience These Things’ List
• (09:28) - Beverly’s Own Signs
• (10:57) - Reading the Messages
• (14:08) - Helping Others
• (17:49) - Prepping for Your Attorney
• (25:54) - Forethought in Domestic Violence Situation
• (30:56) - The Divorce Coalition
• (41:42) - Reaching Out to Beverly
• (42:31) - Listener Question
• (49:33) - Wrap Up

Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

“We owe it to them to ensure they’re not collateral damage due to this divorce.”

Meet Sarah Armstrong

Sarah works at Google but decided as a side gig to write her book “The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce: What to Think Through When Children Are Involved” largely because it gave her the opportunity to share what she’d learned during her own divorce with others. And that’s not to say her divorce was a cakewalk. It was hard. It provided challenges for her, her ex, and their daughter. But through it all, they maintained the belief that they had to do what was best for their daughter. Hence, the good divorce.

Seth and Pete talk to Sarah about the decision to make the divorce a good one and how it shaped everything from that point forward. They talk about what it means to ‘do what’s best for the children.’ They discuss logistics, scheduling conflicts, and soccer games. They also talk about the battles over things like first right of refusal.

It’s also important to think beyond the years your kids will be under your roofs. What about when they’re older? Are you working to build that relationship beyond 18? How should you act when they’re young? Should you consider counseling for your child?

It’s a wide-ranging conversation that digs into a lot of topics that can help you as you work through your own divorce.

About Sarah

Sarah Armstrong, good divorce proponent and author of The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce, is vice president, global marketing operations, at Google and proud mom of Grace, who will be a sophomore in college in the fall of 2022. Sarah is a mentor to other women in business, and longtime volunteer at various nonprofit organizations, including Jack & Jill Late Stage Cancer Foundation, Georgetown Alumni Admissions Program and Trinity Table Soup Kitchen.

Prior to joining Google, Sarah was a partner at McKinsey & Co. and worked at The Coca-Cola Company in global marketing for twenty years, where she led Worldwide Agency Operations across 200 countries. Sarah started her career at Leo Burnett (Chicago) in Media. Sarah’s work has been recognized around the world, resulting in her being named one of Ad Age’s “Women to Watch” and included in Ad Age’s Book of Tens (“Top Ten Who Made Their Mark in 2009”).

Sarah was raised in Birmingham, Michigan with two younger brothers and happily married parents (for over fifty years and still going strong). She attended Georgetown University, as a scholarship athlete, earning a Bachelor of Science degree from the School of Business Administration with a major in marketing. She was a four-year starter on the Georgetown University Volleyball Team.

Sarah loves traveling the world and has been fortunate to travel to 55+ countries. She enjoys exploring new cities with Grace whenever possible. Sarah lives in San Francisco.

Links & Notes

• Sarah’s Website
• Find Sarah on LinkedIn or Facebook
• The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce: What to Think Through When Children Are Involved
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• (02:06) - Meet Sarah Armstrong
• (02:58) - Advocating for Good Divorce
• (06:10) - Her Own Divorce
• (08:24) - Having a Good Divorce
• (14:36) - Minimizing the Gaps
• (19:14) - Sponsor: Soberlink
• (21:38) - Other Routines
• (26:14) - Kids Adapting to Change
• (31:01) - Making New Lives Work Apart
• (32:01) - Right of Refusal
• (33:24) - Showing Consolidarity
• (37:04) - Navigating as a Working Mom
• (40:02) - Universal Truths
• (41:24) - Introducing New Significant Others
• (44:18) - When They Struggle With Change
• (49:40) - Counseling
• (50:55) - Your Family of Choice
• (53:49) - Sarah's Book and Website

How do you heal after living through the trauma of divorce? How do you help your kids heal when they live through their own experience of your trauma? Whether you consider yours an easy divorce, or a hard one, the act of separating lives is traumatic, and the impact of trauma can sneak up on you.

As we wrap up this season of the show, we want to take some time to talk about that healing process and we have the perfect guest to help us do that. Dee Wallace is an actor and a healer, and she’s spent the last twenty years of her career in channeled healing work. She is an advocate and teacher in the art of self-creation and the author of five books on the subject. She’s also been divorced more than once and knows a thing or two about healing through trauma herself.

As an actor, you might have seen one of her more than 260 credits including E.T., Cujo, The Howling, and on, and on, and on. What’s more, her most important role is as “Mom” to Toaster alum Gabrielle Stone, who taught us all about her divorce experience in Eat, Pray, #FML.

Dee’s career and relationship stories make for an incredible conversation and we’re deeply grateful for her time, participation, and joy in the Toaster this week. 

We’re setting up for a short break as we head into the holiday season and will be replaying a few of our favorite episodes over the next month or so, but we’ll be back with new episodes in February. We’re grateful for this community, and all of you out there working to save your most important relationships. On behalf of all of us on Team Toaster — Seth, Pete, Andy, Melissa, Ken, and Karolynn — we wish you a happy holiday season full of peace, love, and joy.

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• (02:31) - Meet Dee Wallace
• (06:14) - Finding Happiness
• (08:40) - New Perspective on Relationships
• (11:15) - Dee's Bona fides
• (12:49) - Setting Boundaries
• (13:47) - Male Perspective Shift Needed
• (20:03) - Trauma
• (23:50) - Choices
• (28:29) - Grief
• (31:33) - Choices In The Divorce Process
• (35:15) - Back to Choices
• (38:37) - Growing in Wisdom
• (42:26) - Dee's Books
• (47:39) - Wrapping Up

Navigating the Appeals Process in Divorce with Judge Matt Lucas
For our final episode of the season, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright chat with Judge Matt Lucas, an appellate court judge from the Florida Second District Court of Appeals, about the mysterious appeals process in divorce cases. They aim to shed light on what an appeal is, what appellate judges do, and what happens behind the scenes at the appellate court.

This insightful episode covers the technical details of appeals and how they differ from the original divorce trial. Judge Lucas provides an inside look at this complex process from an experienced judge's perspective.

The discussion focuses on the mechanics of appeals - what grounds are needed to file one, the specific issues that can be appealed, the logistics of how appeals courts operate, and more. 

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What is an appeal and what does an appellate judge do?
• What are the grounds for appealing a divorce judgment?
• How long does an appeal take and what happens during the process?

Key Takeaways:

• Appeals focus on alleged legal errors, not just unfavorable outcomes.
• The appeals process involves new legal issues and standards of review.
• Appeals require precise arguments about specific aspects of the lower court's ruling.

This episode offers rare insight into the mysterious appeals process direct from an appellate judge. Seth and Pete breakdown this complex topic in an accessible way, making it easy to understand for anyone going through a divorce. Listeners will learn what to expect during appeals and how to navigate them effectively.

Links & Notes

• Check out Judge Lucas’ books!
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• (01:19) - Meet Judge Matt Lucas
• (03:28) - The Appeals Process
• (15:37) - Trial Lawyer vs. Appellate Lawyer
• (18:03) - Overturn Frequency
• (24:06) - When You Win
• (29:59) - Enforcement
• (31:06) - Other Questions
• (38:55) - A Few Last Points
• (47:48) - Writing on the Side
• (49:18) - Wrapping Up

Reinvent Yourself After Divorce
In this week's episode, Seth and Pete chat with midlife reinvention expert Dawn Fleming about rebuilding your life after divorce. They cover everything from rediscovering old hobbies to going back to school to finding new purpose and passion.

Seth and Pete start by unpacking Dawn's own "attorney turned alchemist" story. She shares how she reinvented herself multiple times through divorce, career changes, spiritual journeys, and ultimately creating a life of adventure and service with her husband.

Some key themes explored include:

• Finding confidence and esteem after divorce
• Learning new skills to grow yourself
• Reconnecting with old passions and interests
• Establishing a support network of friends
• Embracing change and new chapters

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How do I move forward after divorce?
• What next steps should I take?
• How can I find purpose?

Key Takeaways:

• Try new things and find what you used to love
• Build your confidence through accomplishments
• Surround yourself with positive people
• Be open to reinvention and change

Plus, we tackle a listener question about how Seth handles working with clients who have emotional dysregulation or mental health issues during the divorce process.

This uplifting episode will leave you feeling empowered, motivated, and excited about the possibilities ahead after divorce. Tune in for an insightful discussion on reinventing yourself!

Links & Notes

• claimyourdreamlifebook.com
• lifeinparadisepodcast.com 
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• (01:19) - Meet Dawn Fleming
• (07:22) - Avoid Being an Island
• (11:47) - Reminding Yourself of What You Enjoyed
• (23:19) - Retuning for a New Partner
• (27:26) - Dawn’s Program
• (31:29) - Dawn’s Programs
• (35:49) - Finding Dawn
• (36:45) - Listener Question
• (41:29) - Wrap Up

Transforming Mindset and Finding Hope After Divorce
Seth and Pete welcome Hilary DeCesare, founder of Relaunch Co. and expert in neuropsychology, to discuss shifting limiting beliefs during divorce. This episode focuses on adjusting your mindset during a challenging life transition like divorce. Hilary shares her 3HQ model for getting into your best emotional and mental state before major conversations or decisions.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How do I stop negative self-talk during my divorce?
• What daily habits can help me feel more empowered and optimistic?

Key Takeaways:

• Tuning into an empowering song for 20 seconds can shift your emotional state
• Visualizing your ideal scenario helps anchor positive intentions
• Small daily actions create momentum towards your goals

Hilary introduces her TuneIn process to help people get into their "G-zone" - a state of gratitude, growth and greatness. This four-step practice takes just two minutes but can rewire your perspective before big moments. Seth and Pete also discuss using music and imagination games to ease difficult transitions for kids.

Whether you feel stuck in negativity or want to manifest an empowered mindset, this episode provides actionable tips to transform your emotional experience during divorce. Tune in to gain hope and clarity.

Links & Notes

• Visit Hilary on the Web, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
• The Relaunch Podcast
• Read Hilary’s Book ReLaunch! Spark Your Heart To Ignite Your Life
• Try the Tune In Power Tool
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• (01:19) - Meet Hilary DeCesare
• (02:09) - Taking Control
• (09:37) - When It Gets In Your Way
• (12:35) - Awareness and Choice
• (13:39) - ‘I Am’ Statements
• (14:02) - The Higher Self
• (17:13) - Self Before Others
• (19:55) - Tune In
• (25:58) - Rewiring Over Time
• (33:21) - With the Kids
• (36:41) - Finding Hilary
• (38:08) - Wrap Up

Seth and Pete welcome back author and astrologer Bethany Nicole for a fun, end-of-year bonus episode to dive into astrology and what their birth charts reveal about themselves. Can ancient astrological wisdom provide guidance and direction or is this just a fun experiment? Bethany interprets Seth and Pete's charts to uncover strengths, weaknesses, and life paths.

This astrology session provides some eye-opening self-discovery and personal growth for the hosts, all while allowing for a lighthearted way to wrap up the year. With an open mind, Seth and Pete gain some insights into their subconscious drivers, relationship patterns, and keys to fulfilling their potential. Though initially skeptical, they have an entertaining time peeling back the layers of their inner selves.

Links & Notes

• Visit Bethany’s site to find her book and get a reading
• Listen to our past episode with Bethany
• Check out Seth’s or Pete’s birth charts
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• (01:19) - Welcome Back Bethany Nicole
• (03:36) - Setting Up the Readings
• (09:04) - Seth’s Chart
• (27:46) - Pete’s Chart
• (45:18) - Last Notes
• (54:19) - Wrap Up

Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Get Answers to Your Divorce Questions
In this week's episode, Seth and Pete tackle real questions submitted by listeners who are going through a divorce or have been affected by one. They provide practical tips and legal perspectives to help you navigate some of the common issues that arise during separation and divorce.

Seth and Pete aim to offer actionable advice and reassurance that you're not alone in this difficult process. Their insights can help you make informed decisions and feel empowered, whether you hope to salvage your relationship or move forward apart.

A Few Questions we answer in this episode:

• How to handle a spouse who is hiding money
• What to do when your ex moves away and stops seeing the kids
• Whether you can legally track an estranged spouse
• If you can get an unequal division of assets if cheated on
• Options if you want to stay married but your spouse won't stop affairs
• How to protect yourself financially if thinking of separation

This candid episode provides perspective on dealing with some of divorce's toughest challenges. Seth and Pete's compassionate approach makes it easier to cope during this transition.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• (01:19) - Listener Questions!
• (02:01) - Number One
• (06:07) - Number Two
• (09:30) - Number Three
• (12:25) - Number Four
• (14:54) - Number Five
• (18:52) - Number Six
• (22:04) - Number Seven
• (24:24) - Number Eight
• (26:52) - Number Nine
• (32:27) - Number Ten
• (35:21) - Number Eleven
• (38:50) - Number Twelve
• (40:24) - Number Thirteen
• (42:35) - Number Fourteen
• (44:28) - Wrap Up

Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Navigating Narcissistic Relationships and Healing After Divorce
Seth and Pete welcome Dr. Justine Weber, a psychologist who helps people recover from narcissistic abuse. They discuss how to identify narcissistic behaviors, cope with divorce from a narcissist, and heal after leaving the relationship.

The conversation focuses on rebuilding your sense of self and reality after narcissistic conditioning. Justine offers insights into childhood attachment styles and trauma responses that can lead people to end up with narcissistic partners.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How do you detach from a narcissist's distortions of reality?
• What strategies help rebuild your confidence during and after divorce?
• How can you take back power after years of narcissistic control?

Key Takeaways:

• Forgiving yourself is critical to overcoming narcissistic abuse.
• Documenting the truth can counteract gaslighting.
• Stay focused on your priorities rather than trying to control everything.

Overall, this episode explores thoughtful strategies for healing and reclaiming your life after leaving a narcissistic relationship. Justine offers compassionate guidance to help anyone struggling with these issues.

Links & Notes

• Find Dr. Justine Weber on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, or Her Website
• Buy Dr. Weber’s New Book!
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• (01:18) - Meet Dr. Justine Weber
• (02:03) - The Book (and Its Title)
• (04:34) - Reclaiming Agency
• (09:48) - Self-Blame
• (11:54) - Rejection Sensitivity
• (13:17) - Basis of Understanding
• (14:43) - Breaking Free
• (17:50) - Intervention
• (20:49) - In Divorce
• (23:42) - Tracking Details
• (25:46) - Rewiring
• (31:43) - High Conflict Divorce?
• (35:37) - Kids
• (44:18) - Justine’s Book

Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.