Losing a Child to Cancer with Crystal J. A. Roberson

The Season Finale is Here!

We've heard the saying "Kids don't come with a parenting guide" over and over but there are people who are making waves to change that. Domari Dickinson is one of those people. She is an accomplished educator who has done extensive training and has the experience to teach us a thing or two about how to raise children in a more peaceful, respectful, and purposeful way.

On the podcast, Domari shares so many tips- from how to identify our triggers, to changing the language we use when talking to our kids. 

Domari stressed the importance of first identifying your family's core beliefs. What does your family value and what are your beliefs? Identifying your triggers will help you respond differently and communicate better with your children. Sometimes this work may require therapy. 

How you communicate matters:

1. Get clear with your directions - Clean your room vs. make your bed, vacuum, dust, etc. 
2. Be specific - Stop jumping on the furniture vs. Go outside to burn off some energy for 30 minutes.
3. Focus on the positive - thank you for using walking feet in the house vs. pointing out every time they run in the house.

The most impactful take away from my time with Domari on this episode was the idea that we don't have to CONTROL our kids to be a good parent. We must give them the chance to practice using their voice, problem-solving skills, and critical thinking.

Domari offers positive parenting classes, one on one coaching, and her next cohort begins October 1, 2020 (online of course ;) ). Go to www.DomariDickinson.com for more information. 

Follow Domari on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @DomariDickinson.

Breast cancer survivor, phenomenal mom to three sons, tv show host, and producer - Lisa Johnson Smith joined me in an interview to talk about everything from raising three boys to surviving breast cancer and post-op complications. This woman is strong! She has survived what many of us may not have.

During the interview, she shared that while she has worked on many shows, Teen Summit was the best television production experience. She talked about her current project which is her oldest son’s show #Simplyput, very reminiscent of Teen Summit.

Here are some takeaways from the episode:

1. You can’t parent each of your kids the same way. They are individuals and need to be treated as such.
2. Fight for your rights in health care and have an advocate with you whenever possible.
3. Hardships will happen in life and you have to learn from them.
4. Speak up when someone mistreats you.
5. Live on purpose and be thankful for each day.

Check out Lisa’s production with her oldest son Chaz, #SimplyPut. 

Follow Lisa on Instagram @lisajohnsonsmith

"The one predictable thing about the coronavirus is that it is unpredictable."

Twin sister doctors, Dr. McDonald and Dr. Wardlaw go on to discuss the coronavirus and how to protect our families during the pandemic. They pointed out that COVID Fatigue is real but stressed that we cannot let up because it is badly affecting our health. 

During our conversation, the doctors also talked about vaccine research and data to support vaccines and why it is important that we ask questions to make an informed decision on vaccines. 

Tips

1. Lead by example and wear a mask and wash your hands. Have your child also wear a mask
2. Remind children about why they cannot go on with their normal routine and check-in with their emotions.
3. When vaccines are available, ask the doctor questions that will allow you to make an informed decision.

Reach out to @twinsisterdocs on Instagram and Twitter for more info.

On this episode of the Drive Like a Motha podcast, I talked with Dr. Jerika Johnstone. She is a wife, mother of three, and serious yogi! She shared so much wisdome about Kemet Yoga, a style of yoga used to tap into the energy of our ancestors. Kemet, we know it as Egypt, has a rich history as the land of the beginning. Kemet Yoga is the practice of connecting with ancestors through poses and hand gestures during yoga and meditation.

Jerika also uses these techniques with her kids to calm their bodies through intentional breathing. This helps them communicate effectively without letting emotions take over.

This episode educated me on so many things. The most freeing part of the episode is when Jerika shared that we don't have to make meditation this whole big ordeal. Make it work for you. "We are walking mediations. We are living temples".

You can find Jerika on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVmHetehnQE . Follow her on Instagram @ka.kemetic.yoga

In this episode, we have Ladawn Lanier, Sexologist, and Psychologist. I feel that the majority of moms who listen to this episode will walk away feeling relieved. LaDawn normalized everything I was feeling. I literally felt like I went to a therapy session. 

A sexologist is usually a psychologist or therapist who has taken specialized courses in sex education. LaDawn shares that the biggest myth is that if you go to a sex therapist, you'll be required to have sex right there in the office- that's NOT going to happen she says. 

Take comfort in knowing that our sexual wants/desires change over the course of our life and the best thing we can do is to communicate and be sure our partners comprehend what we are saying so that we continue to stay on the same page. 

Here are some key takeaways from my time spent with LaDawn:

1. Everything doesn't have to be a penis and vagina! Enjoy the journey start the four play in the morning- send text messages, stick post-it notes in most visual areas.
2. Don't limit yourself to the bedroom.  
3. Put sex on the calendar and/or get a babysitter- go to the hotel!
4. To get in the mood- take a shower; know and communicate what feels good to you. 
5. Get some sleep!

LaDawn is a professor, certified psychologist, and sex therapist. You can find LaDawn on Instagram @sexologist_lala

Another good friend joined me on the Drive Like a Motha podcast today. Her name is Natalie Swain Cargile. She started her own networking company and television production company. This woman is a dynamic mom of three (which includes a set of twins), a business owner, and a wife. On the podcast she shared some really good tips about the importance of creating a system, knowing your "why", aligning yourself with the greats in the field of your choice, and overcoming fear. 

Natalie offers coaching and business consulting for women. She is also franchising her company. If you are in the Midland, TX area turn on local Fox tv and check her out in the mornings. 

Natalie can be reached on Instagram:
@Nataliesnetwork
@theconnectnetwork.llc

Email @Natalie Swain Cargile 

Mom Tips from Natalie:

1. Find someone who is doing what you want to do and find out if they are willing to coach you.

2. Study how they move

3. Be active on your platform 

On this episode of the Drive Like a Motha Podcast, we are talking about credit and wealth. They go hand in hand. I have had my fair share of pitfalls from college years through adulthood and I have to say that I am finally wiser about the way I use credit. Terri "The Credit Lady" Couser joins us on this episode to discuss how to maximize our credit to get the things we want. 

Terri's whole entire episode is a GEM! Here are some MAJOR takeaways:

• Know what is on your credit report, not just your score.
• Late payments can drop your score up to 100 points!
• Know your goal and then credit your strategy. Mortgage credit is different from credit to finance a car.
• Sacrifice in a season what you are trying to get for a lifetime
• Start talking to your children about credit and money as soon as they learn how to count. Teach the kids how to save, invest, and donate early. 
• Use your credit to put it into something that is going to generate passive income such as real estate, dividends, and/or stocks. 
• If you have 1 job and 20 bills, you cannot build legacy.

It is my hope that you refer back to this episode as many times as necessary to gain more understanding about credit and how to build wealth for your family. Thank you for tuning in and for reading the show notes. Check out some other tools below.

Terri Couser YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF7w0v-NMgBZfArgDgjHdbQ

Recommended Books for Kids:
Finance 101 for Kids
How to Turn $100 into $1 Million
How to Use Credit: Smart Kids Guide to Personal Finance

On this episode of the Drive Like a Motha Podcast, we were joined by Emmy-nominated actress, Crystal Lee Brown. She shares on the podcast how missing one opportunity as a child has shaped her into being intentional and strategic about going after her goals. But more than anything, Crystal is a dedicated mom and wife. She shared how she has to juggle to make it all work, but it doesn't come without the mom guilt rushing in. 

Crystal gives words of advice to moms and women who want to become actresses:

• You need training even if you are talented
• Constantly work on your craft, there are always new things to learn.
• Know your purpose and why you chose to be an actor?
• What do you exude? No one is going to try to figure you out.
• Networking and do a good job when you accept an opportunity. these opportunities will potentially create a group of people who root and vouch for you.
• Know when to say yes and when to say no.

Living in Los Angeles often feels like your on an island away from family and friends. What makes moving from any city to Los Angeles, California more special is finding like-minded friends who are also living out their dreams. Crystal was just that. She and I had babies a few months apart. She knew right away how important a tribe is and taught me the same. When I returned to work, Crystal agreed to watch my firstborn, while home with hers. That was very giving and I will always appreciate and cherish her for that.

Check out Crystal on The Good Lord Bird, starring Ethan Hawke. She has also been in some of the movies and tv series you've seen; Hidden Figures, Black Lightning, and Uncle Drew to name a few.

You can catch Crystal on Showtime's tv series The Good Lord Bird with Ethan Hawke, airing August 9th.

The Good Lord Bird trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-Tm63y-S4s

Psychologist, Comedian, professor, author, and mom- Dr. Erin A. Harper sat down with me to discuss the benefits of staying creative. She wrote a book titled, Dear Mom, You Don't Get to Have Nice Things. In this book, Erin shows the many ways we adjust to our new lives with kids. 

Erin also talks about how being creative balances her more serious role as a graduate-level psychology professor. "Just get started," was Erin's advice when I asked for her advice on the process of writing her book. As moms, career women, etc, we sometimes feel we have to be one dimensional, and anything else will take credibility away from the other. This is a myth! Multifaceted moms renew their energy by being creative, tapping into their strengths, and release their gifts into the world.

Dr. Harper's Tips for Moms

1. Have a flexible schedule; having a loose schedule is helpful for parents and children
2. Do the best you can
3. If you feel overwhelmed, reach out, and get help.
4. We are physically isolated, but we don't have to be emotionally disconnected. 

You can find out more about Dr. Erin Harper on her website.

Get your copy of Dear Mom, You Don't Get to Have Nice Things at Target Walmart or Amazon. I've included the link here -  https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Dont-Have-Nice-Things/dp/1543993311

Self Magazine Article - https://www.self.com/story/kids-coronavirus-coping-tips

Thank you for listening and reading the show notes!!!

Today's guest is very near and dear to my heart. We were raised in the same home for the majority of my early childhood. Our mothers are sisters. Crystal Roberson is my cousin. She is a mother of three and one of the strongest women I know. She loss her son Jalen to brain cancer on February 2, 2020 and wanted to share her story with us and provide encouragement and advice to other moms who are having a similar experience. 

During this episode Crystal shared profound advice and wisdom. She stressed the importance of paying attention to the details when it comes to the information and recommendations from doctors and nurses; understanding parent and child rights; and being determined to do the work that is required to take care of a disabled child. 

Mom Tips from Crystal Roberson

1. Put your faith in God
2. Be an advocate for your child
3. Have the knowledge and/or be willing to learn

Crystal shared that her family celebrates Jalen's life by visiting his grave, her middle son honors him by wearing his clothes, they sing his favorite songs, and even write letters. 

If you are a mother experiencing grief or loss and need some encouragement or companionship with another mom who knows your struggle or pain, Crystal is offering connection. Her email is cjarob@gmail.com.

Thank you for listening and reading the Drive Like a Motha Show notes.