Love Shouldn't Hurt: Knowing when to let go!

In this Episode…Chandra B explores with Staci Cash the Table Talk Conversation:  What are you bringing to the Relationship Table.  Do you have your own table…Build the table…or share the table?  Are you allowing unworthy guest to sit at your table?  Many folks focus on the Tangible items that one brings to the table but what about the Intangible like commitment, conversation/communication, loyalty/trust and vulnerabilities.  How do you contribute to the Relationship Table?
 
Next Steps:

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Afternoon Nap by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-official

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In this Episode…Chandra B explores Mental Models, Mindsets, and Marriage.  Do you feel like your relationship is not quite living up to the images stored in your head.  There’s  a reason for this and it is likely that your mental model of marriage is outdated and no longer applicable.  Maybe your mindset of what makes a good healthy relationship is being challenged and you feel defeated by the challenges your relationship presents.  If any of this sounds familiar then its probably time to upgrade your mental model…or shift your mindset.  Our concept of a healthy relationships are forever changing and continues to be challenged by the outside world.  The key is to begin to challenge our own deeply held beliefs that are holding us back from having the relationship we desire.

Call to action for the quarter 3 episodes then new call to action: 

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Afternoon Nap by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-official

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New Series: Affair Recovery Series: A Journey to Healing

Welcome to the Affair Recovery Series:  In this series it is my hope to give hope, clarity and direction to those couples that are struggling with the aftermath of an affair.  In this series we will explore what constitutes infidelity, the gender differences, why and where couples get stuck when trying to recover, the process of rebuilding trust and forgiveness as well as knowing when to end the relationship or rewrite your love story.  Despite, infidelity becoming commonplace within relationships it still disrupts individuals at their core and what they believe and understand about love and relationships.  Join the Chaise Lounge as we explore the range of emotions experienced, questions asked and the steps couples take to begin to recover from the betrayal of infidelity.

 In Episode 5 The Final Chapter…We do a SWOT analysis of the current state of the relationship to support relationship goals, boundaries and re-writing the love story as the couple continue the healing process.  The SWOT analysis is Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. The couple explores to together each area of the relationship to begin to build the chapters for a successful marriage and affair recovered relationship.  

Call to action for the quarter 3 episodes then new call to action: 

Email your topic suggestion or Question to: Stormcommunications2019@gmail.com

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Leave a review on Apple podcast or my website https://stormcommunicationsnconsulting.com/chaise-lounge-podcast/  or Facebook review 

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 Music Credits

Afternoon Nap by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-official

Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com

Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported

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New Series: Affair Recovery Series: A Journey to Healing

Welcome to the Affair Recovery Series:  In this series it is my hope to give hope, clarity and direction to those couples that are struggling with the aftermath of an affair.  In this series we will explore what constitutes infidelity, the gender differences, why and where couples get stuck when trying to recover, the process of rebuilding trust and forgiveness as well as knowing when to end the relationship or rewrite your love story.  Despite, infidelity becoming commonplace within relationships it still disrupts individuals at their core and what they believe and understand about love and relationships.  Join the Chaise Lounge as we explore the range of emotions experienced, questions asked and the steps couples take to begin to recover from the betrayal of infidelity.

 In Episode 4…Its decision time…You must decide if its time to piss or get off the pot.  The couple has or the individuals within the relationship must decide if it’s worth saving or better to walk away.  The healing process begins once the decision is made…until then the couple is in limbo trying to figure out what has happened.  In this episode, reason for staying and leaving are outline.  Then the couple must decide what resources and tools they will use to begin to repair the damage left behind.  And once stability is again in sight…individuals can begin to reconstruct their home…into the house of Love or humility.  Both partners the hurt and unfaithful play a role in building the foundation, walls and doors of this house. The finally the couple can begin to identify what elements of their love story they want to include when they begin to rewrite their love story.  

Call to action for the quarter 3 episodes then new call to action: 

Email your topic suggestion or Question to: Stormcommunications2019@gmail.com

Subscribe to newsletter via my website at newsletter 

Leave a review on Apple podcast or my website https://stormcommunicationsnconsulting.com/chaise-lounge-podcast/  or Facebook review 

 Invite 1 friends to listen podcast

 Music Credits

Afternoon Nap by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-official

Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com

Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported

https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en_US

New Series: Affair Recovery Series: A journey to Healing

Welcome to the Affair Recovery Series:  In this series it is my hope to give hope, clarity and direction to those couples that are struggling with the aftermath of an affair.  In this series we will explore what constitutes infidelity, the gender differences, why and where couples get stuck when trying to recover, the process of rebuilding trust and forgiveness as well as knowing when to end the relationship or rewrite your love story.  Despite, infidelity becoming commonplace within relationships it still disrupts individuals at their core and what they believe and understand about love and relationships.  Join the Chaise Lounge as we explore the range of emotions experienced, questions asked and the steps couples take to begin to recover from the betrayal of infidelity.

 Episode 3 Rebuild, Restoring and Recovering are key to the survival of the relationship as it can never return to its previous state.  In this episode we explore why do individuals get stuck in the house of Anger and Pride.  Discuss and learn ways to move forward.  Host Chandra B. takes a strong stance on privacy vs secrecy in a relationship recovering from infidelity.  She explores how Secrecy on the part of the unfaithful and the hurt partner can lead to more problems with trust and forgiveness.  Trust and forgiveness explored how each partner plays a role in rebuilding the relationship and restore the pillars that hold the house(love) together.  Things that diminish or creates barriers are also explored in hopes of helping couples understand that they need to communicate open and honestly with one another.  Couples have to learn how to be naked with each other in order to survive the aftermath of an affair.

Call to action for the quarter 3 episodes then new call to action: 

Email your topic suggestion or Question to: Stormcommunications2019@gmail.com

Subscribe to newsletter via my website at newsletter 

Leave a review on Apple podcast or my website https://stormcommunicationsnconsulting.com/chaise-lounge-podcast/  or Facebook review 

 Invite 1 friends to listen podcast

 Music Credits

Afternoon Nap by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-official

Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com

Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported

https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en_US

New Series: Affair Recovery Series: A Journey to Healing

Welcome to the Affair Recovery Series:  In this series it is my hope to give hope, clarity and direction to those couples that are struggling with the aftermath of an affair.  In this series we will explore what constitutes infidelity, the gender differences, why and where couples get stuck when trying to recover, the process of rebuilding trust and forgiveness as well as knowing when to end the relationship or rewrite your love story.  Despite, infidelity becoming commonplace within relationships it still disrupts individuals at their core and what they believe and understand about love and relationships.  Join the Chaise Lounge as we explore the range of emotions experienced, questions asked and the steps couples take to begin to recover from the betrayal of infidelity.

 In Episode 2…Chandra B discuss the clues the red flags ie the breadcrumbs left behind.  Those things that we chose to ignore or accept despite our gut telling us that something is off.  The discovery of an affair is often liken to traumatic events…As everything has forever changed and many people get stuck in wanting to know the details of the encounter throwing themselves into the crazy cycle with is disruptive to the grieving process where individuals can become stuck and it here where the relationship faces one of its greatest challenges.  Often it is not the affair that ends the relationship but how it is managed(dealt with) afterwards that ruins relationships.

Email your topic suggestion or Question to: Stormcommunications2019@gmail.com

Subscribe to newsletter via my website at newsletter 

Leave a review on Apple podcast or my website https://stormcommunicationsnconsulting.com/chaise-lounge-podcast/  or Facebook review 

 Invite 1 friends to listen podcast

 Music Credits

Afternoon Nap by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-official

Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com

Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported

https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en_US

New Series: Affair Recovery Series: A journey to Healing

Welcome to the Affair Recovery Series:  In this series it is my hope to give hope, clarity and direction to those couples that are struggling with the aftermath of an affair.  In this series we will explore what constitutes infidelity, the gender differences, why and where couples get stuck when trying to recover, the process of rebuilding trust and forgiveness as well as knowing when to end the relationship or rewrite your love story.  Despite, infidelity becoming commonplace within relationships it still disrupts individuals at their core and what they believe and understand about love and relationships.  Join the Chaise Lounge as we explore the range of emotions experienced, questions asked and the steps couples take to begin to recover from the betrayal of infidelity.

Most Common Types of Affairs–
Sexual(physical) – Lovers, Exs, One night stands, any sexual contact with a person that is not your partner. 
Emotional Affairs – Emotionally(romantically) attached to someone other than partner – Work husband/wife, friends (where there’s an attraction), rekindle old love interest.  Non-sexual but may become sexual(physical).
Cyber – Creating and maintaining a relationship with someone online outside the relationship May never meet the person but has desires
Perceived Affairs – Engaging in behaviors that are consistent with one that cheats typically there is some unhealed relationship trauma or mental health concerns. There real things that do not involve others that qualify as infidelity (Finances and disloyalty bad mouthing partner) 
•Do men and women see infidelity difference? Historically Yes…Although things appear to be changing I would argue that men and women understand and experience cheating differently. Women are raised to believe that this is a normal part of the love relationship.  It is expected and often times accepted that men will be unfaithful. Men on the other hand are not raised to believe women will be unfaithful and this is one of the greatest blows to a Man’s ego to discover infidelity

I would argue that it is these differences that shape how we respond and recover from infidelity. The key is acknowledging that the affair is not the cause of the problems in the relationship but merely a symptom of an already sick relationship. It is important for both parties to acknowledge the role they play in the breakdown of the relationship.  This however does not excuse the behavior of the unfaithful partner.
In my guide to affair proofing your marriage I identify 10 areas to address.  

In the podcast episode Marital Preparedness.  I encourage couples to realistically discuss the possibility of threats like affairs to the relationship.  

Email your topic suggestion or Question to: Stormcommunications2019@gmail.com
Subscribe to newsletter via my website at newsletter
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https://stormcommunicationsnconsulting.com/chaise-lounge-podcast/ or Facebook review 

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Chandra B. with guest author Adrian Carter sit down and have a real conversation about the unspoken and misunderstood conflict that continues to occur between men and women especially Black Men and Women.  This conversation explores the idea of a paradigm shift within the historical context of how men and women relate to one another.  Mr. Carter suggests that conflict is typically about needs or values.  What the difference between compromising, negotiating and resolving conflict?

·       Compromise – meeting in the middle

·       Conflict Resolution – peaceful solutions 

·       Negotiations  - win-win outcomes or is it.  Mr. Carter believes that Negotiations starts with the couple being against each other rather than working as a team.  He suggest that collaboration is preferred as it offers up more possible solutions.

  What’s the BIG DEAL…all couples argue Is arguing healthy for relationships... They say couples rarely are arguing about what they are arguing about...Is all problems resolvable 

 Why do resolutions fail? What are the signs that the solution is not working?  What do we need to know in order to resolve conflict?  What are the key elements of successfully negotiating your needs with your partner?  Compromise without sacrifice.  Hostile negotiations are those situations when a partner demands the other make a certain choice, without further discussion 

What are some simple actions listeners can take to improve they approach to conflict resolution? Mr. Carter suggests couples should approach the problem as one.  This puts couple on the same side seeking a solutions that works for all involved.  

More information about the guest author Adrian N. Carter please visit his website and dont forget to purchase his book available wherever books are sold.

Adrian's Book Let's Get Married and do Everything except Make it Last
 www.adriancarterspeaks.com

Email your topic suggestion or Question to: Stormcommunications2019@gmail.com

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Afternoon Nap by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-official

Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com

Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported

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THIS YEAR THE CHAISE LOUNGE is breaking episodes into 3 different categories… Dating…Building and Improving.  This topic can apply to all three but builders and improvers may get the most out of this discussion. Speaking your partners love language fluently… Dr. Gary Chapman developed the Love Languages What are Love Languages and why do they matter… Affirmations...Gift Giving...Acts of Service...Quality Time and Physical Touch.   How do we learn the language of our partners so that we can understand them and be understood.  Understanding how Love Languages work

·       Key Elements of the 5 Love Languages

·       Everyone has 2 languages a primary & a secondary but aren’t they ALL important

·       (Personal story) Normal for people to give your partner what you need (you speak your language to your partner instead of their language)

How do we become fluent in our partners language? 

·       Are you attune to your partners needs what do they complain about most questions/feedback are necessary to become fluent?

·       Compatibility – how does it work when you don’t share the same language (examples)

·       Compromise without sacrifice.  

What are some simple actions listeners can take to improve their love language skills?

Should we practice learning all 5 love language or just focus on the primary and secondary one?

Marriages are hard they require work but the reward is worth it.    

More about the author:
Timmothy B. McCann

NovelistTimmothyMcCann@Gmail.com

TimmothyMcCann.com (This site will go live 2/1)

They can also follow my Facebook page

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Forever /  Kensington

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