Podcast Summary
Managing Mind and Emotions for Well-being: Learning to effectively respond to stressors can improve overall well-being and build resilience
Our reaction to stressors, whether real or imagined, significantly impacts our well-being. Dr. Sam Akbar, a clinical psychologist, emphasizes the importance of managing our minds and emotions to build a meaningful life, even when we can't change the stressors around us. She shares accessible techniques for managing stress and building resilience in her handbook, "Stressilient." By learning to respond effectively to stressors, we can improve our overall well-being and thrive, not just survive. Dr. Akbar's background in TV production led her to her current work as a clinical psychologist, where she specializes in treating refugees with PTSD and training other clinicians. Her insights and practical tools offer valuable lessons for all of us in managing stress and building resilience in our daily lives.
The importance of personal values in shaping our lives: Recognizing and acting on personal values can lead to meaningful connections and a more fulfilling, compassionate life.
Our personal values play a significant role in shaping our decisions and the direction of our lives. The speaker, who transitioned from a career in TV to psychology, realized this as she reflected on her desire to be more helpful and make meaningful connections. This led her to explore the field of psychology and eventually work with refugees in Northern Iraq, providing training for psychologists treating survivors of trauma. Despite the vast differences in their experiences, she recognizes the importance of treating all individuals with care and respect, regardless of their specific struggles. Ultimately, her experiences highlight the power of values in guiding us towards a more fulfilling and compassionate life.
Understanding and managing emotions effectively: Resilience is about bouncing back from challenges, not eliminating stress. It involves learning to manage emotions and navigate different types of stressors, finding meaning in difficult situations, and trusting in our ability to handle them.
Resilience is not about eliminating stress or becoming emotionally numb. Instead, it's about understanding and managing our emotions effectively, learning to navigate different types of stress, and being open to experiencing difficult situations while trusting that we have the capacity to handle them. The principles of managing mental health issues like PTSD and dealing with stressors in life, such as caring for loved ones or managing work, share similarities. We cannot eliminate stress entirely, but we can learn to manage it and even find meaning in it. Resilience comes from the Latin word "resiliere," meaning to bounce back or get up again. It's not about being invulnerable, but rather being open to emotions and learning how to deal with them. By embracing this perspective, we can approach life's challenges with a newfound sense of strength and meaning.
Suppressing emotions and thoughts is exhausting: Psychological flexibility, or acknowledging and understanding thoughts and emotions, leads to greater resilience
Suppressing emotions and thoughts, like trying to keep a beach ball underwater, requires a lot of energy and doesn't lead to an emotionally rich life. Instead, psychological flexibility, or being able to move between noticing thoughts and emotions and taking action, is key to resilience. The more we try to push away thoughts or emotions, the more they come back with greater force. It's more effective to acknowledge and understand them, rather than trying to ignore them. The Harvard psychologist's experiment with the white bear illustrates this concept. The more we focus on not thinking about something, the more we end up thinking about it. So, it's important to be flexible and embrace the full range of human emotions, rather than trying to suppress them.
Thoughts don't define us: Recognizing our thoughts as separate from ourselves empowers us to respond rather than react, promoting mental wellbeing.
Our thoughts do not define us. The distinction between our thoughts and who we are as individuals is crucial for mental wellbeing. This idea may seem simple, but it can be a powerful tool for managing self-judgment and negative thoughts. By recognizing that we are separate from our thoughts, we can learn to respond to them rather than being consumed by them. This doesn't mean ignoring or suppressing thoughts, but rather acknowledging them and choosing how to respond. This perspective can be particularly helpful when dealing with traumatic memories or stressful situations. By visualizing ourselves as separate from our thoughts, we can gain a new perspective and take action in line with our values, rather than getting trapped in negative thought patterns. So, next time you find yourself thinking "I'm a failure," remember that it's just a thought, and you have the power to respond in a way that serves you best.
The Power of Imagination: Our imagination can significantly impact our thoughts and emotions, just like real experiences. We can use it to manipulate our responses to negative experiences by changing the way we imagine them.
Our brains cannot always distinguish between what is real and what is imagined. This means that the mental images we create have a significant impact on us, just as real experiences do. For example, in PTSD, a frightening image can trigger a physical response as if the event were actually happening. Similarly, sexual fantasies can elicit a physical response. Neuroscientific studies have shown that the same parts of the brain light up when we imagine music as when we hear it. This means that we can use our imagination to manipulate our thoughts and emotions. If we find ourselves ruminating on negative experiences, we can try to imagine them in different ways to reduce their impact on us. We can change the image's properties, such as color or size, or imagine ourselves observing it from a distance. By doing so, we can give ourselves distance from the experience and reduce our emotional response. This can help us deal with difficult situations more effectively and from a mindful, value-driven perspective.
Recognizing the need for self-care amidst life's challenges: Identifying values and focusing on what truly matters can help prioritize self-care and improve well-being despite external pressures.
As we age, dealing with various life stressors can make it difficult to prioritize our health and well-being. Many people are juggling multiple responsibilities, such as caring for children and aging parents, while dealing with personal health issues. This can leave little room for self-care and self-reflection. The first step towards improving this situation is becoming aware of the issue and recognizing the need for change. However, finding the time and resources to make changes can be challenging. Another challenge is that prioritizing self-care may not be met with understanding or support from others. Values can serve as a source of motivation and resilience during these challenging times. By identifying and focusing on what truly matters to us, we can find the inner strength to make difficult choices and prioritize our well-being, even in the face of external pressures.
Reflecting on our values and past experiences: Identify what matters most by reflecting on past experiences and values, imagine our desired impact, and act on our values to live a meaningful life.
Aligning ourselves with our values is crucial for feeling fulfilled and authentic in life. When we feel lost or out of sync, it's often a sign that we've strayed from what truly matters to us. Reflecting on past experiences that left us feeling alive and in tune with our values can help us identify what we stand for and what we want to contribute to the world. Imagining our own funeral and how others might remember us is a powerful exercise to understand our desired impact and potential gaps between our current reality and our ideals. While we cannot change the past, we can act on our values starting from this moment, making the next chapter of our lives meaningful and purposeful. Setting goals for mid or later life is essential for having a better second half, as our experiences and perspectives may differ significantly from older generations.
Aging is an opportunity to continue growing and thriving: Embrace self-compassion, resilience, and find meaning in life as we age, redefining what it means to be 'older' and continuing to set new goals.
Aging is not a time to retreat, but rather a time to set new goals and continue living a fulfilling life. As we age, we may need to redefine what it means to be "older," looking to inspiring role models like Helen Mirren and centenarians who continue to live vibrant lives. It's important to align our goals with our values and find meaning in our lives, even as our priorities shift. Society's expectations can sometimes make us feel pressured or scared about aging, but this period of life also comes with unique strengths, such as self-awareness and less concern about what others think. Embracing self-compassion and resilience can help us navigate the challenges that come with aging and maintain our confidence. In essence, aging is an opportunity to continue growing and thriving, not a time to give up or settle.
Navigating life's changes with self-compassion and resilience: Embrace change, view ourselves as individuals who grow, and prioritize self-care for resilience
Self-compassion and resilience are essential skills for navigating life's inevitable changes and suffering. Self-labeling can make it harder to adapt, so it's helpful to view ourselves as individuals who do certain things rather than defining ourselves solely by those roles. Midlife is a time to allow for growth and prioritize what makes us feel good now. The work of building resilience doesn't stop, even for psychologists, and it's essential to remember that we're not the same people we were in our twenties or even yesterday. Embracing change and listening to ourselves rather than clinging to old labels is a key aspect of wisdom and thriving in life. Sam Akbar's work with trauma survivors is a testament to the power of resilience and the importance of getting back up and moving forward after challenges.
Subscribe to the Lizzo Well-being Show for exclusive content: Listeners can engage with host Lizzo through a free weekly email newsletter and social media, or upgrade to an ad-free experience with Lazar Well-being Show Plus for early access to episodes. The show is sponsored by Quince, Boll and Branch, and Whole Foods Market.
The Lizzo Well-being Show offers a free weekly email newsletter and social media presence, where listeners can engage with the host, Lizzo, and receive exclusive content. For those wanting an ad-free listening experience and early access to episodes, a subscription to the Lazar Well-being Show Plus is available for a small monthly fee. Additionally, the show features sponsors Quince, offering ethical and affordable luxury fashion, and Boll and Branch, providing soft and sustainable organic cotton sheets. Lastly, Whole Foods Market is recommended as a destination for Mother's Day shopping, offering premium gifts, flowers, and treats with discounts for Prime members.
