How to hold your confidence in the face of peer pressure with Amanda Yoa
Beginning âBuilding confidence is often a whole journey. Very rarely is someone just born with it or unaffected by external factors that harm our self image and esteem. Sometimes itâs easier to stay stuck and miserable than doing the work to heal.We self sabotage our progress, often subconsciously, by telling all of these stories both in our heads to ourselves as well as to other people about why we canât start yet. Itâs a form of procrastination due to the awareness that it is a lot of work and weâre comfortable in the familiar discomfort weâre currently in because itâs all weâve ever known.We become trapped in the same patterns we gathered as children which becomes our default system on what to say, think and do. Going against that programming is how we create a different reality for ourselves but that requires responsibility for what we choose moving forward.Weâre trained for external validation which leads many of us to people pleasing. This makes changing our patterns to find ourselves and our confidence even harder because it means making other people uncomfortable. Everyone in our lives has become accustomed to what they expect us to be and if we start acting out of that character theyâve identified us as it shakes up their world and they donât like that.If we start changing the way weâve always interacted with certain people, theyâre most likely going to perceive it as an attack or a falsity. They donât realize that the true falsity has always been the show youâve put on to keep them happy. If you choose to end that charade, their confusion is going to lead them to respond and it may be a positive response or it may not. Itâs important to remember to hold onto your boundaries and clarity in why youâre choosing this alternative path.You donât have to âwait untilâ anything. There is no such thing as a âperfect timeâ and the sooner you decide to begin, the sooner you can start to see progress. True healing occurs every moment of every regular day. If youâre serious about healing and stepping into a new reality for yourself, that reality exists on any given regular Tuesday.Make it messy and do it scared. Thatâs whatâs real. Perfect isnât a real thing anywhere for anything. Itâs an abstract, relative thought that morphs between person to person. It cannot be caught or expressed outside of your perception.True healing takes trying and then failing so that you may learn and grow. Itâs never going to be any kind of perfect because the very nature of life is messy and nonlinear.
10:13 âYou have to question yourself and everything you do, say and think. Instead of looking at life as things happening âtoâ you, identifying what enables you to progress and what enables you to stay the same.Questions to ask yourself:
10:13 âYou have to question yourself and everything you do, say and think. Instead of looking at life as things happening âtoâ you, identifying what enables you to progress and what enables you to stay the same.Questions to ask yourself:
- âIs this helping or hurting me?â
- âDoes this get me closer to my goals?â
- âAm I picking short term, false comfort over long term happiness?â
- âAm I choosing other peopleâs comfort over my own?â
- âWhere does this thought/habit originate from?â
- âAm I procrastinating my progress?â
- âIs the story/belief Iâm holding onto true?â