Two awesome examples of how my arrogance flared up, how I got to apologize, and how the forgiveness and love that followed. And then where my term “Kick the stool out from under me” originated from, love you mom!
Episode notes:
Check out the Tools For A Good Life Summit Virtually and FOR FREE: https://bit.ly/ToolsForAGoodLifeSummit
Last episode I promised I would talk about: (Heads up I only discuss how my arrogance flared up ...).
- “I’m done worrying about __________”,
- How my arrogance flared up.
- Everything I thought I couldn’t live without I’ve had to learn to live without.
Let's start with ‘How my arrogance flared up”. I was on an all mens group zoom meeting with 6 or 7 men and… Someone’s friend had passed way. Drug addiction killed they guy. He was trying to get sober and died from heroin, OD’d. The friend who released the news to us is thriving and really doing well, has a great girl. It’s kind of new for me to be happy for someone who has a great girl… I can be competitive.
So I was like “Oh no! did he break up with that girl?” and when he said someone had died I was like “phew” he’s still with the girl. Of course I didn’t say anything in the moment :).
So there’s lots of emotions flying around… Tears, someone else new someone who died… When we were hanging out after the meeting I told the guy, I’m like “hey man, you know what my thought was…?”, ‘I was relieved that you didn’t break up with your girl and that your friend had just died…”. So wrong, coated in arrogance, insensitive, it was not cool.
Anyway - I’m such in this space of we are all one. Death, life, it’s all an illusion. I went through this big grief cycle to get to this point and so it can definitely sound flippant and arrogant and perhaps it is.
So I’m starting to internalize and believe that death is an illusion. and there is no judgment because we are all pieces of puzzle as required by gods creation. Idk. None the less it was not an appropriate time for me to talk about “we are all one” in the way I presented it. It did not come across like that.
So I sent an email to the group and called my friend and apologized… (You can listen to the episode for the content of my apologies.). Basically I copped to my insensitiveness and arrogance. Sometimes you don’t need someone cackling in your face.
And I have been through the grief. Cried for 3 years straight…
Part of what made the Tools For A Good Life Summit possible was the grief sparked in me from a breakup. It was the final blow. I had been divorced, career upheaval, parents dying, financial distress. Then all of a sudden I had more success and had money again and then that break up happened and money was not solving the problem. And the emotional bottle cap was ripped off. Yeah, so I get grief. I do. So that girl that breakup was the catalyst that got me to this point of this “Tools For A Good Life Summit”.
Arrogant #2 - Someone was concerned about the child and I was very flippant about their concern… And I pointed it out in front of a bunch of people, which was a total asshole move. I projected my opinions and thoughts onto him. Dude was being vulnerable and I just kicked the stool out from under him.
I have this whole story of my mom kicking the stool out from under me which is where that comes from.
Sorry mom, love you, we are all one, assuming her essence is flying around. (Listen to the rest of the episode for the Mom story about kicking the stool out from under me.)
“Your heart is full man, you’re so loving, kind, and compassionate we will give you a pass. A pass for humanness.”
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