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    My Husband Cheated . . . Should I Tell the Kids?

    enJuly 24, 2024
    Why is open communication important in relationships?
    How should parents discuss their past issues with children?
    What is the role of trust in healing relationships?
    How can parents model healthy communication skills?
    What approach should be taken towards children with ADHD?

    Podcast Summary

    • Communication and trust in relationshipsBe honest with children about past issues while considering their age and maturity level, and recognize the importance of both parents sharing their story when they're ready to understand.

      Open communication and trust in relationships are crucial for healing and growth, but it's important to consider the age and maturity level of children when discussing past issues. The guest, Candice, shared her experience of her husband's infidelity and how they worked through it, emphasizing the importance of being honest with their children while protecting them from unnecessary details. She also acknowledged that it might be her husband's role to share their story with their kids when they are older and ready to understand the complexities of relationships. Ultimately, the goal is to provide a balanced perspective and show them that healing and forgiveness are possible.

    • Parental honesty about past mistakesParents should be open about their past relationship mistakes, emphasize the effort to overcome them, and use these experiences as teaching moments for their children.

      It's important for parents to be open and honest with their children about their past mistakes and challenges in their relationship, while also highlighting the good and the efforts made to overcome them. This can help children understand that relationships require effort and vulnerability, and that it's okay to experience disappointments and setbacks. It's also crucial to avoid creating an image of perfection and to let children know that everyone makes mistakes and that it's how we learn and grow from them. Additionally, it's essential to use these experiences as teaching moments and to model healthy communication and conflict resolution skills.

    • Phone distractions in relationshipsExcessive phone usage can lead to disconnection in relationships, but filling the void with meaningful activities and open communication can help rebuild and strengthen them.

      Constant phone usage can lead to avoidance of deeper issues in relationships, particularly in marriages. The speaker acknowledges her own issue with spending excessive time on her phone and how it has potentially contributed to a lack of connection with her husband. She suggests that instead of just putting down the phone, couples need to fill the void with meaningful activities and open communication. The speaker emphasizes the importance of expressing needs and wants, and actively working to rebuild and strengthen relationships. She encourages couples to reverse engineer their past happy moments and recreate them in their current context. The speaker also suggests keeping a notes app or journal to jot down things to discuss with your partner and scheduling sex and quality time. Overall, the conversation highlights the need for intentional effort to maintain and strengthen relationships, rather than relying on distractions like phones.

    • Rebuilding MarriageHonesty and intentional effort are crucial for rebuilding a marriage. Create phone-free time, build supportive networks, and understand ADHD as a response to chaos rather than an illness.

      Rebuilding a marriage requires honesty and intentional effort. The speaker emphasizes the importance of turning off phones and creating phone-free time to reconnect with your partner. They also suggest building supportive networks outside of the marriage to renew and refresh the relationship. The speaker shares their own experience of rebuilding a marriage and the excitement that comes with it. Additionally, the speaker encourages understanding and supporting children with ADHD without labeling it as an illness or a medical issue. Instead, it's a way some bodies respond to chaos.

    • ADHD brain as a giftAn ADHD brain is a unique blend of challenges and strengths, including heightened empathy, creativity, and sensitivity. Provide a supportive environment, understand individual needs, and practice mindfulness to manage challenges and enhance benefits.

      Every child, including those with ADHD, has unique strengths and challenges. The ADHD brain is often misunderstood as chaotic, but it can also be a gift that makes individuals highly empathetic, creative, and sensitive. Instead of imposing restrictions and labeling them as problematic, it's essential to provide a supportive environment, understand their needs, and foster connection. Communication, consistency, and mindfulness can help manage the challenges and enhance the benefits of an ADHD brain. Parents should remember that they are not alone and that their child's differences can be an asset to the world. Additionally, focusing on creating a calm physical space, providing structure, and practicing mindfulness techniques can significantly improve the daily life of a child with ADHD.

    • Child Development SystemsFocusing on marriage, routines, creativity, play, and effective communication can create a stable environment for children, while medication should be a last resort.

      Children are not broken, but rather the systems they are dropped into may be. Parents can create a stable and loving environment for their children by focusing on their marriage, establishing routines, providing opportunities for creativity and play, and communicating effectively. It's important to remember that every child is unique and may require different approaches. If medication becomes necessary, it should be seen as a last resort after exploring other alternatives. By working together as a family and seeking support when needed, parents can help their children thrive in a chaotic world.

    • Emotional healthAcknowledging and processing negative emotions is essential for learning and growth, and Thorne's supplements can support overall health and longevity.

      Thorne's science-backed supplements and health testing have been a long-term staple in the Deloney household, and Inside Out 2 is an excellent movie that provides valuable insights, especially for children, about the importance of acknowledging and processing negative emotions rather than hiding them. Thorne's supplements, used by elite athletes and thought leaders worldwide, offer third-party tested, pure solutions for improved health and longevity. Inside Out 2 explores the power of facing and understanding emotions like anxiety and joy, and how holding on to all memories, good and bad, can help us learn and grow. The movie also highlights the importance of connection and support during difficult times. Listeners can enjoy a 25% discount on Thorne's entire lineup by visiting thorn.com/U/Deloni.

    • Memorable experiences, connectionSharing memorable experiences with loved ones, such as watching a movie or laughing together, can deepen connections and create cherished memories

      Experiencing something as simple as a movie can have a profound impact on our lives, especially when shared with loved ones. The speaker recalls taking her father to see Louis C.K.'s stand-up comedy, which left both of them laughing so hard that she feared for his health. This shared moment of joy resulted in a cherished memory and a symbolic keepsake for her son. The experience also underscores the importance of expressing and managing emotions, as her son still holds onto the anger doll as a reminder of his own feelings. Overall, this heartwarming story emphasizes the power of connection, laughter, and self-expression in shaping our memories and personal growth. So, go out and create your own memorable experiences, whether it's through watching a movie, sharing a laugh, or simply being present with loved ones.

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