Myth #60: BDSM is a Trauma Response

As we hit the pause button on Sex Ed Debunked, a wave of nostalgia washes over us—Shannon's about to tie the knot, and Christine is diving headfirst into academia. It's been an epic journey of myth-shattering and sexual empowerment, from an AASECT award to a whopping 20,000 downloads, and we couldn't be more grateful. Celebrate with us one last time before our sabbatical as we crush the myth of "normal" sexuality and champion the spectrum of positive sexual experiences. It's not a farewell, but a promise to return with even more eye-opening conversations.

Throughout our series, we've ignited discussions on everything from sexual response to polyamory, sparking shifts in societal norms and challenging stereotypes. Dorothy Colvon and Dr. Cailey graced us with their insights, reminding us of the power in conversations that push boundaries and redefine expectations. We've become a springboard for dialogue that doesn't shy away from any topic—because when it comes to sexuality, every voice matters. As we step back to celebrate personal milestones, carry forward the spirit of our discussions and keep the dialogue alive in your own circles.

We owe a universe of thanks to our extraordinary volunteers—Meghan, Bella, Shaina, and Ezra—whose contributions have been critical to our success. Their dedication and the enlightening energy of our guests have allowed us to foster an inclusive approach to sex education that honors the evolving nature of sexuality and gender identities. So, while we take a break to recharge and focus on personal endeavors, remember that the journey of discovery and growth continues. Keep exploring, challenging norms, and breaking down barriers. We'll be back before you know it, ready to debunk more myths and share more wisdom. Keep the spirit of 'Sex Ed Debunked' thriving!

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Imagine if your childhood attachment styles were echoing in your adult relationships - intriguing thought, isn't it? Join us, Christine and Shannon Curley, as we demystify the world of attachment styles and reveal how they're not just confined to your early years. We're cracking open the research, and we promise you'll understand why Gen Z seems to be gravitating towards insecure attachment styles and why it's a trend worth noting.

We're going to navigate the terrain of four primary attachment styles - secure, anxious, avoidant dismissive, and avoidant fearful. We'll show you how these styles are formed during the early years and how they intricately weave into your adult relationships. Equipped with this knowledge, we bet you'll encounter some aha moments regarding your relationship patterns. And if you're curious about what an "insecure attachment style" means, we've got you covered. We also dissect the avoidant fearful style, highlighting the paradox of craving a relationship while being scared of getting hurt.

Ever thought about the impact of your attachment style on your behaviors and communication? We’re throwing light on that too! We stand by the importance of humility and adaptability in communication and believe firmly that it's possible to rise above your attachment style. As we prepare for the holiday season, remember to embrace grace and lean on your secure networks. And yes, we're also debunking myths surrounding sex and sexuality and stressing the necessity of inclusivity in our understanding. So let's challenge conventional wisdom, expand our horizons, and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships. This is going to be a journey of self-discovery you wouldn't want to miss!

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We're rolling up our sleeves and taking a deep-dive into the turbulent world of sex education in today's episode. With insights right from the frontline of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality conference, we're tackling the shocking rise in rough sex, heavily influenced by internet pornography and social media. We share some staggering statistics and discuss these distressing trends with our esteemed guest, researcher Dr. Renee Rena Evans Paulson. She highlights the pivotal role of critical media literacy as a safeguard, stressing the need for open dialogues with young individuals about their digital consumption.

Switching gears, we shift focus to the importance of comprehensive sex education and its much-needed societal adoption. Remember GPT-3? We're exploring its potential footprint in sex education, celebrating some successful initiatives like Rhode Island's Department of Health's comprehensive sex ed app, and dissecting a study that reveals the overestimation of sexual health knowledge among college students. Our key takeaway? Comprehensive sex education is not just an option; it's a necessity to bridge the knowledge gap and promote safer sexual behaviors. Join us as we champion the power of research evidence and its crucial role in advocating for comprehensive sex education to policymakers. Tune in, get informed, and help us rewrite the narrative.

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Do you know the extent to which purity culture and abstinence-only education can infiltrate your life? We've got a promise for you: by the end of this episode, you'll have a deeper understanding of this complex and controversial topic. We're joined by special guests Jeremiah Gibson and Julia Pastema, hosts of the podcast and educational platform, Sexvangelicals. Together, we dissect and discuss the defining features of purity culture, strict gender norms, and the harmful impacts these ideologies have on relationships and sexuality.

On our journey into purity culture, we also highlight its paradoxical effects. From the double bind faced by men taught to control their impulses while being encouraged to pursue sexual relationships, to the heightened risks and lack of sexual communication, we confront the harsh realities of this belief system. We reference the insightful book "Real Sex" by Lauren Winner, posing provocative questions about the so-called "slippery slope" of sexual activity.

Wrapping up our discussion, we delve into the personal experiences of Jeremiah and Julia. They share their transformative journey from music ministry and therapy to becoming sex therapists, and how their beliefs in evangelical Christianity were challenged. They reveal a new understanding of consent, and we extend our support to those affected by purity culture. Join us as we emphasize the importance of comprehensive, inclusive education around relationships and sexuality. Listen in as we shed light on the broader impacts of purity culture, and how we as a society can move forward.

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Ever wondered how the medieval Church navigated gender diversity within its fold? Prepare yourself for an enlightening journey through the less-trodden paths of Church history, featuring tales of transgender saints and the societal repercussions of modern anti-trans legislation.

In this exceptional episode, we are privileged to host Professor Maeve Doyle, a seasoned scholar with profound insights into the medieval history of gender. Together, we uncover compelling stories of women who donned the masculinity cloak to join the Church, and saints depicted with intentional gender fluidity in religious artwork. From the intriguing story of St. Eugenia, celebrated on Christmas day, to the gender-fluid portrayal of Saint Athanasia and Christ's transcendence of the gender binary, we challenge and broaden your understanding of gender in the Church. As we delve into these historical narratives, we also emphasize the contemporary, highlighting recent research on the detrimental mental health effects of anti-trans laws and the crucial role of activism in safeguarding transgender youth. Join us, as we weave together past and present, history and activism, community and individual identity in this enlightening exploration of gender diversity in the Church.

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Picture this: You just said "I do" and you're staring at the love of your life. Now what? We'll walk you through it in this episode of Sex Ed Debunked. To celebrate our sound engineer, Ezra's, wedding, we've compiled a heap of insights, research, and personal anecdotes on what it takes to build and maintain a successful marriage. We're talking about everything from being your partner's best friend to the power of routine communication, and the importance of understanding and responding to each other's feelings. 

Have you ever wondered how some couples keep the spark alive? How do they navigate through the challenges and come out stronger on the other side? We're unmasking the secrets to making your relationship not just survive, but thrive. In this episode, we're breaking down the art of positive communication, the essence of overcoming the "honeymoon phase," and the tact of choosing your battles wisely. We'll also discuss the impact of negative comments and projection, and reveal ways to sprinkle positive feedback into your everyday conversations. 

But there's more. We venture further into the love labyrinth, guiding you on how to cultivate a relationship pulsating with appreciation and gratitude. Discover why it's crucial to express gratitude to your partner regularly, why hobbies outside your relationship are essential for self-expansion, and the magic of shared adventures. We wrap things up with the role of open communication in understanding your partner's needs and the magic ingredients for maintaining a romantic and sexual connection in your relationship. So grab your headphones and tune in for an enlightening journey into the world of successful relationships.

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Ever thought about the evolutionary purpose of pubic hair, or why societal norms around it change? Buckle up, as we reveal the science of body hair and debunk some myths along the way. We'll dive into the benefits of pubic hair, from helping prevent friction, to fending off pathogens and bacteria, and even its part in signaling fertility. We also have a fun discussion about the Reddit perspective on body hair and preferences around shaving. Remember, no matter what your grooming style, vaginas are self-cleaning!

Fasten your seatbelts as we journey through the history of the adult film industry and its influence on pubic hair norms. We're also going to touch upon the pros and cons of shaving or trimming, and the potential risks involved. It's not all serious though - to cap off this enlightening chat, we'll give you a sneak peek into our upcoming episode that will dig into the role of media and the importance of comprehensive sex education in shaping our understanding of topics as intimate as body hair. So, tune in, be ready to unlearn and relearn, and let’s challenge what you thought you knew about body hair!

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Ready for a mind-expanding trip into the realm of BDSM? You’re about to unlearn some deeply ingrained misconceptions! We're debunking the myth that BDSM is a trauma response, a stereotype rooted in heteronormative and socially normative perspectives. We'll expose how this practice ranges from mild to wild, can be a tool for working through trauma, and is even part of asexual people's lives.

BDSM is more than just kink – it’s a journey of self-discovery, healing, and liberation. It's about restructuring self-concept, repurposing behaviors, and redefining relationships with pain. We discuss how BDSM provides opportunities for role switch, self-exploration, and experimenting with different types of connectedness. We'll shed light on the often overlooked, intimate, and tender connection that BDSM fosters, essential for understanding trust in these specialized relationships.

We also explore how BDSM can be therapeutic, similar to meditation, mindfulness, and relaxation. It can make one feel more attuned and alive, similar to the runner’s high. You’ll learn about the concept of "subspace," an altered state of consciousness achieved through BDSM that some practitioners describe as a heightened state of eroticism. We highlight the role of BDSM in identity exploration, negotiating power dynamics, developing trust and communication skills, and creating a safe space for exploration and discovery. Get ready for a fresh, inclusive perspective on sex education and BDSM.

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What if the societal obsession with size was the true culprit behind sexual dissatisfaction? Find out as we debunk myths, bust taboos, and bring hard science to the bedroom in this refreshingly candid Study Session. With an insightful lens, we explore the oft-asked question, "Does size matter?" and reveal fascinating truths. Tune in as we dissect this topic from both biological and psychological perspectives, shedding light on prevalent misconceptions about size and its correlation to pleasure, function, and health. 

Our discussions reveal an intriguing paradox - while size does matter to an extent, it does so not in the ways you would expect. We underline the role of individual preference and comfort, as opposed to societal standards dictated by media and pornography. You'll be intrigued by our exploration of studies revealing the true average preference, debunking the harmful obsession with size comparison. We even talk about a study highlighting how nearly a third of people are dissatisfied with their genitalia. Join us as we challenge societal norms, question cultural biases, and strive to shift the focus where it truly belongs - to health, satisfaction, and consent.

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Have you ever felt like you're at the crossroads of your faith and sexual identity? Are you struggling to reconcile the two? Today's episode takes us on the journey of debunking the myth that Coming Out and religion don't mix and we're fortunate to have Reverend Tracy Mehr-Muska, DMin, from Wesleyan University sharing invaluable insights and wisdom. She brings her first-hand experience counseling students who are grappling with their sexual identity within the sphere of their faith. 

We're diving into the heart of Wesleyan University, exploring the dynamics of religion and LGBTQ identity amongst its students. Gone are the days when most students at Wesleyan identified with a religion. In stark contrast, over half of the student body now identifies as agnostic or atheist. In the midst of this shift, we explore how to celebrate both identities without losing hope in finding accepting and supportive spiritual communities. We also stir up the conversation on the relationship between the divine and oneself, and whether a religious community is inseparable from the divine.

Finally, brace yourself as we decode the interpretation and relevance of the Bible in affirming the LGBTQ community. We're thrilled to have Brian Blunt from Union Theological Seminary share that the Bible is a living word, capable of unveiling new understandings. He brings to light Jesus's ministry of radical love and inclusion, which counteracts any form of discrimination. As we wrap up our conversation, we spotlight various faith communities that uplift and celebrate the LGBTQ community and guide on how to identify genuinely inclusive spaces. This episode promises to be a revelation in itself, let's navigate these complex intersections together!

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