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    RIP Party Monster

    enDecember 25, 2020
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    About this Episode

    It makes sense to me that Michael Alig, the notorious Party Monster, King of the Club Kids has passed away on Christmas. When I woke up to this news a million different feelings washed over my body...but mostly it was deep sadness. Addiction is a thing that claims lives every second and something that has blackened many parts of my life. Goodbye MIchael. I will never forget you.

    This is a re-post of a live show I did with him in 2017. 

    I met Michael shortly after he was released from Prison for his 1996 murder of Angel Melendez. For some background, this is the same man whose life that the 2003 movie Party Monster  was based off of. He was a brilliant Pied Piper who was able to create a social movement that swept over the nation calling small town rejects and societal misfits to join he's legion of worshipers called the "Club Kids."

    Reviled by some, worshiped by others, he's like the trump of 90's. As someone who intimately knows the New York Party scene, let me tell you the kind of charisma and raw unique creative chutzpah this takes. It can only happen with a brilliant, ruthless visionary with a calculator brain. Every single person I know whose above 35 got their party flippers wet at Limelight, or Tunnel. HE wasn't a to start monster, he was a God, for years.

    Then he fell, like Icarus, into the abyss not be be seen or heard for 17 years. He was in solitary confinement for years, and managed to stay on heroin, due to the prison guards slipping him heroin into his sell with his food. 

    So in 2017, I was able to host a live show at the Marcy North and interview him about his life, speak with his family and friends, and provide some light into what a world soaked in heroin and solitary confinement would be like.

    We spoke endlessly, about life, prison, addiction, redemption, his art, he's dreams and his nightmares. 

    Michael is a rainbow of colors. He has a kind of brutal honesty through his humor that can be sharp and cutting, while being dull and blunt. He reminded me constantly of the Cheshire cat from Alice and Wonderland, both hands pointed in opposite directions whenever I would try to ask him about difficult subjects.

    We are all chasing a different white rabbit that is represented in our different addictions, whether helpful or harmful. We are all playing hide and seek with the ultimately elusive meta concept of "happiness." We are all constantly scraping up and crashing against each other, harming ourselves and others to varying degrees.

    The question becomes not if we will harm others it's merely when? Subsequently, how can you ever atone, when the repercussions of your mistakes leave lasting scars on the ones your love, your community, and the world. Furthermore what's really tricky is even if you’re absolved judicially, how do you forgive yourself?

    I don't claim to answer any of these questions. All i can do is ask them, and when I make mistakes try to put one foot in front of the other, find news ways to live my life, as my mother always says, with gentle loving kindness.

    Throughout this journey I kept two quotes in mind:

    From My Neck So Free The Albatross fell off, and Sank Like Lead Into The Sea
    Dorthy: OZ we're you frightened?

    Oz: Frightened? Child you're talking to a man who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe, I was petrified

    Thank you to Zev and Gadi for allowing me to do the live show at their beautiful Marcy North Hotel in Williamsburg.

    Thank you to David Herman, and Emily Brodtman who helped me weave this story together.

    Songs: Neil Diamond: Damage Done

    Recent Episodes from You're Welcome w/ Zoe Nightingale

    WELCOME TO URANUS

    WELCOME TO URANUS

    HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR.
    I am still deep in the weeds of untangling myself from the ROCKSTAR BlOWOUT me and my team put together so hopefully we can give the most love and best start possible to the people we love - the beloved warriors of NYC.
    It was just the most beautiful shit I've ever seen. YAY, however everything hurts. I am just a cicada shell and I of course blew out my voice AT MY FIRST cabaret show - god it was difficult but BOY WAS IT SICK AF. videos and photos posted soon.

    Song: Phillip Glass Knee #5

    HANDJOB ARTIST MASTER LLC

    HANDJOB ARTIST MASTER LLC

    I don't even need to describe this podcast BEST SHIT EVER - LOVE // EMPATHY // STRUGGLE // LIFE // DEATH ALL OF IT RIGHT HERE IN THE PALM OF YA HAND all fa free. YOU ARE WELCOME. OMFG BESTTTTT EVVVAAA

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    https://www.eventbrite.com/e/uranus-invasion-a-new-years-probe-tickets-769729099457?aff=oddtdtcreator&utm_experiment=test_share_listing

    F$CK ART BASIL $$$

    F$CK ART BASIL $$$

    ART BASEL. What is it exactly? It’s a big fuck off money laundering party where you'll see some of the most innovative art in the world but you have to search in between piles of excrement, so large, you'll think they're a set from Jurassic Park.

    I love artists, and I love creation in all forms, but what I don't love is that the wealthy gallery elite have sucked all of the soul and fun out of it. I am NOT saying that there isn’t bright spots of creative genius all over, all I am saying is the price tags are HILARIOUS and most of the ideas about as fresh as Monday night’s fish.

    What is art? I ask this question every year. Some of the things I see at Art Basel tread a VERY fine line between what I think is a discarded pile of trash and what is considered to be revolutionary art work. But...who am I to judge?

    Every year I go, and every year I'm left with the same question, WHY DOES THIS STUFF COST SO MUCH.

    Every year some guy with a german accent and cool colorful glasses explains it to me, but I still don't understand. 

    I have tried to understand it but this is the year I am officially throwing in my white hankie. I’m done, I’m out. The rich and famous no longer interest me.

    Follow me on instagram :@drznightingale 

    Be my patron! All money gows to helping me pay for my editor Josiah

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    Come to my 14 hour 9 pm to 12 pm NEW YEARS CABARET 

     

     

    FRESH CREAM PIE

    FRESH CREAM PIE

    Man it's been a whirlwind fall and fucking crazy winter already.
    I can barely keep up. Managing personal relationships, family, work, mental health, the cost of just barely paying my bills, it's just too fucking much.

    Take care of yourselves during December, watch your drinking, watch your overeating, watch your negative mental commentary and comparison thinking about you have have vs others, there's just something about the Christmas months that ramps up everything and pressure cooks anything you were hiding inside of you until you literally start to boil.

    I'm working on a multi part conversation about being jewish, growing up with zionists and what it's like to sit with the current political environment that surrounds Jewish identity and what you can do as Jew whether you are practicing or not to be a conscious participant in the dialogue,

    But it's complex and I want to really be thoughtful so while I make that here is a little tiny moment from the burn, that just made my heart a little lighter,

    All my love guys

    BE MY PATRON! editing is expensive!!
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    xxxxooo
    Z

    FELLATRIX ?

    FELLATRIX ?

    HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!

    Full disclosure - I've had a deeply twilight zone week of primordial ooze nonsense. I completely lost my shit not once, not twice, but THRICE THIS WEEK. Don't worry, it's not like it was public or anything...like at the self check out at CVS...or at Montgomery Mall Build A Bear, DO NOT WORRY, I kept it together.

    NOT. Listen. You can't fix things sometimes. Sometimes the repercussions of you and your families behavior cannot be rectified.

    Sometimes, your happiness and the very fabric of your being fundamentally makes people VERY MAD. Sometimes, YOU ARE an absolute dick who cannot see past their own nose and makes comments lacking empathy that can trigger someone without the proper armor to go to fucking war.

    So it goes.

    In these times, I feel like the only thing to do is laugh.

    These people, for a mere moment, felt like my family.

    Because when you laugh with someone you're no longer a stranger.

    So sometimes, in NYC, the whole city can BE YOUR FAMILY

    xoxoxox
    Z

    ESCAPING THE NY PSYCHE WARD PART 1

    ESCAPING THE NY PSYCHE WARD PART 1

    There I was, snug as a bug in a rug in my bed at 3 am last Saturday night, when my temporary Roomate and bff waltzes in with a gorgeous giant security looking mother fucker, and I immediately assumed he was there for some kind of nefarious sex adventure probably to be performed in my guest room. Nothing new. BUT IT TURNS OUT - he was STRAIGHT - and cuban - and had literally just gotten out of the Paramus NJ psyche ward. So naturally I whipped out my recorder and sat with him to learn about his life and last week and may I say, I have a new fear, of being involuntary committed to an institution. SO FUCKING SCARY. Stay safe out there kids...IT"S SPOOKY TIME.

    TEST YOUR DRUGS - be safe out there.
    ALSO come to my halloween party! It's going to be sick as fuck. That's a nightingale guarantee.
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    (also if you're poor and in Nyc and want to come hit me up I'll hook you up)

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    BURNING MAN WAKING NIGHTMARES: PART 2 - THE RECKONING

    BURNING MAN WAKING NIGHTMARES: PART 2 - THE RECKONING

    I AM BACK FROM MUDDDY MAN 2023 bigger, better, harder AND full of foreskin.  I am exhausted but I managed to finish editing the second part of my burn episodes from 2022. Basically these are the lost interviews I was never going to release because remembering the end of burning man was literally too tramatic to listen to, even the amazing parts which were many. So here it is in all it's sort of glory the good the bad the ugly. 

    *editors note for end of episode : I was invited to be a panelist to talk about Burning Mans Impact on Culture...something like this by a friend I respect and love dearly that works for BORG and I showed up in a full police latex ripped up terminator outfit on acid after spending days talking to the hidden people who build the infrastructure of burning man - who had told me things that crushed my soul - unreal rates of suicide, depression, addiction, and fear and I was full of a rage that couldn't be stopped. 

    What happened at that talk, to this day still fills me with a mixture of shame, regret and pride. So i've included some of the meltdown speech I gave last year that I literally haven't been able to listen to until this very week because i was so scared of what I had done or said because I got in a lot of trouble and made alot of people mad. Oops. I did it again. No really though i am sorry, I never meant to disrespect the organizers of the talk or the other panelists. I wish I had handled myself with more compassion and composure but the only way out is through and...SOMEONE NEEDED TO SAY IT. But sorry. Seriously.

    Decompression guide READ THIS WHOLE THING NOW IF YOUR BACK to cure your mind body and soul

    BURNER DECOMPRESSION GUIDE : 

    https://www.zoenightingale.com/burning-man-decompression-guide

    If you want to contribute to my patreon to help me cover the crazy cost of making this show feel free!

    BE MY PATRON: https://www.patreon.com/oralfixation

    If you're bored rate my podcast on apple I have no idea how to link it but it helps climb the apple ranks would be so grateful !

    THANK YOU TO MY NEW EDITOR JOSIAH LEJUWAAN HES THE BEST YAY COULD NEVER HAVE MADE THIS WITHOUT HIM

    APPLE BECOMES THE TREE - BURNING MAN 2023

    APPLE BECOMES THE TREE - BURNING MAN 2023

     

    It's the first day of burning man and already I'm doing it differently. 
    90 min massage / facial (not the semen kind) sauna - meditating - writing out hopeful manifestations of a new kind of BURN for me because the old way needs to be reduced to ashes. 

    I believe this is actually my 10th year....I went for the first time in 2011 - and BM blew my mind apart. I reoriented my North Star and the Man became my ultimate Siren - even though every time he smashed me into pieces and eat my heart like it was Pringles. 

    I became obsessed with bringing everyone - convinced that I was the only one who could be their Shepard through this place of wonder but a place that could definitely kill you. 

    I BROUGHT MY WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY - and probably around 70 friends if I really think about it. Every year it became more and more my role - it became more and more work - less and less fun and continually drained every single resource I had most signiifgantly financially but also the amount of partying I was doing and the subsequent damage I would do my body not just with physical injury (SO MANY) but mentally it took a toll so drastic that every Sept I would be set back for almost a month to really get my sleep and health and drug / alcohol use under control. ANYWAY THIS LITTLE EPISODE IS MY PRAYER - and my hope for this upcoming burning man - 

    I LOVE YOU MOM. 
    THANK YOU 

    RATE MY PODCAST PLEASE - it helps me move up the ITUNES RANK (only do it if you like me, duh)

    I just updated my wesbite yay! www.zoenightingale.com 

    If you want to donate to my patreon to help support the cost of my fancy new editor please do! 

    https://www.patreon.com/oralfixation

    Music:

    Can you feel it - Jackson 5

    Without You - Caribou 

    BURNING MAN WAKING DREAMS PART 1 - THE APOCALYPSE

    BURNING MAN WAKING DREAMS PART 1 - THE APOCALYPSE

    FUCK SHIT FUCK NOOOOOOOO FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK 


    I never planned on listening to these recordings, EVER. I planned on forgetting as much as possible as I could from my 9th burn almost in a row (besides covid) and taking a much needed and extended break from the place I have dedicated my life to for the last decade. HOWEVER as people all over the world begin to prepare for BURN 2023 I thought fuck it let's fucking go. So I dusted off my gdrive and iPhone recordings from exactly a year ago and started reliving in excruciating detail my burn from last year. AND NOW YOU CAN TO. BUCKLE UP, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

    EDITORS NOTE - the first half of these interviews I was shit face almost black out drunk - there was no way to edit the sound of my voice or questions enough to conceal it. so fuck it. Not my best interviewing whatever it is what it it is. 

    BURNER // DECOMPRESSION GUIDE PLEASE PLEASE READ THIS IF YOU ARE HEADING IN

    www.zoenightingale.com/the-burner-guide

    Find me at 4;30 and C - Camp RELAXOMTIC (RX) inside institute village. Our camp party is Tuesday night hope to see you there!

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    LOVE YOU
    BOOBY TRAP

    MONEY BURN - AMY & ZOE NON CONSENSUALLY GO TO BURNING MAN

    MONEY BURN - AMY & ZOE NON CONSENSUALLY GO TO BURNING MAN

    NOOOOOOOOO
    what happnened to my plans? FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
    Amy Van Doran - Celebrity Match Maker to the stars - friend - greatest story teller of all time and I had a plan. Plans Schmans. TO THE MONEY BURN WE GO

    Learn more about AMY, and join the Modern Love Club
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    www.zoenightingale.com/the-burner-guide

    NEXT UP BURNING MAN 2022 EPISODES ARE UP!

    STAY TUNED FOR ALL THE MISERY AND THE LOVE AND SWEAT AND BLOOD